Author: wrestlebard

I'm a gay man with an active imagination.

Fresh Meat in the Morning

wrestlebardLeave a comment
I’m predictable, I know. Having documented my obsession with Chris Cuomo’s exit from Good Morning America, I’ve illustrated clearly that I watch my morning news for eye candy. That’s why the dramatic news that CBS is dumping pretty much their entire weekday morning on air folks caught my attention. Whom they’re tapping to fill the seats is sparking my imagination, suggesting the possibility I may finally find a new morning news home.

Replacing Harry Smith with Chris Wragge is a no-brainer. I’ve just never found Harry a turn on. Perhaps he’s a wildcat in the sack. Maybe he even enjoys some boots and trunks homoerotic wrestling matches in his spare time. But on-air in the morning, I’ve got nothing for him. 6’3″ blond pretty boy Chris Wragge, on the other hand, makes me sit up and take notice. Another 6’3″ newsboy named Chris to lust after? Holy hell, this is tailored made for me. He can have a bit of an unattractive pursed look about him at times, but he looks delightful in a tuxedo (who doesn’t really?). The way he carries himself just makes me think “sex,” just like it makes me think that he’s a big, beautiful golden boy who’s managed to have life handed to him because he’s pretty. I smell a fictional wrestling character emerging…

Bingo! Oiled up and shirtless on the beach, Chris looks like he’s packing enough perhaps to even give my other newsboy Chris-crush a run for his money. Sensing something inevitably on the horizon? I am.

The boobulous Swedish swimsuit model and ex-wife aside, I think Chris has plenty to offer my raging homoerotic wrestling imagination. This could work. This could definitely work.

But wait! There’s more! New newsreader Jeff Glor has absolutely caught my attention on the weekend news round-up for CBS (as recently as last weekend). He’s got a fantastic boy-wonder potential about him. I don’t know much about him. Can’t find anyone speculating about his height, for example. He’s apparently married with a child, but I’ve already promptly written those details out of my caricature of him. He does have a sexy voice with an odd (in a make-me-hot-and-bothered way) inflection that sort of sounds like someone who’s overcome a lisp or some other impediment. He just looks like such a clean cut slice of white bread, I’m profoundly excited about the possibilities of his showing up as Chris Wragge’s sidekick.


Producer’s are expecting the new CBS morning team to make their audience grow, and I know one audience member who is already doing so. I will be tuning in to CBS’ The Early Show, and Chris and Jeff will, most definitely, be making an appearance in a fictional homoerotic wrestling match near you. Other newsboys should consider themselves on notice!

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

wrestlebardLeave a comment
The homoerotic wrestler of the month designation I started last summer has a few readers perplexed. Some readers seem to think that there’s some science to this, that there are rules to be followed and justice to be handed out. Of course, this is just my entirely subjective take. I call ’em as I see ’em, and I’m the first to admit that my choices may be at times arbitrary or capricious. I’m fine with that. You’ll have to cope. Which leads us to November’s homoerotic wrestler of the month. My take is that new releases are relatively slim again this month. BG East appears to be about to pop out a new catalog for December, but in the meantime they released a Donnie Drake wrestler spotlight that has to put Donnie, Jobe, Paul Hudson and Rio Garza back in the running. ThundersArena gets two new releases that have caught my eye as potential sources for November’s homoerotic wrestler of the month. Battle of the Male Models parts 1 & 2  mark some nice new directions for Thunders, I think, including some plot and motivation. They also give Zman, STL, Uno, Frank the Tank, and Batar invitations to jump in the pool of nominees for homoerotic wrestler of the month. NakedKombat has some unconventional entries, due in part to their entertaining release of unfinished matches. Based on these dominating performances, Rocco Giovanni, Spencer Reed, and always-in-contention, Mitch Colby are in consideration, along with DJ and Trent Diesel for their highly competitive and smokin’ hot November 24 tag team victory. RockHardWrestling, I believe, put out their 2-on-1 ring bout this month to give Zman still another entry, along with Tyler Reeves and Ethan Andrews. Finally, I’m giving a nod to Raging Stallions’ release of Brutal, which I’ve had the opportunity to begin to enjoy (and will write more on later), for which I’ll permit Trent Diesel to have another nomination, along with Rusty Stevens, Angelo Marconi, Brenn Wyson and Hugo Milano.

Okay, so I was so wrong. There are plenty of delightful nominees to choose from. But there can only be one (not true, of course… no rules…), and my choice for the homoerotic wrestler of the month for November 2010 is….




Yes, I can already hear some of you complaining that Trent was just homoerotic wrestler of the month in July. True enough. And as far as I’m concerned, Trent earned a repeat at HWM precisely because he’s working that fine, fine (finefinefine) ass of his off pumping out hot wrestling performances. He and Zman had an edge this month for both coming in with two hard-hitting new release nominations, but between the two of them, Trent could beat Zack senseless and own his prettyboy straight ass for days (and that would instantly become my all time favorite match for all of history). Trent’s work in Brutal is decent. He’s got a few minutes of actual wrestling, which is unfortunately a little rare for Brutal. He’s also starring one of the scenes in the movie that “collapses the metaphor” nicely, as intense grappling becomes intense fucking.


Paired with his tag team victory alongside of DJ over at NakedKombat, Trent’s Brutal performance gave him the edge for me this month. His body looks hotter and hotter every time I see him. His tattoos are gorgeous. His intensity is fantastic. Watching him struggle to work through the pain of Leo Forte’s body scissor in his NK match is incredibly arousing. He’s just one incredibly hard working homoerotic wrestling pornboy, and I think he deserves the credit. In fact, I think his hard working is making up the distance between him and my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Rusty Stevens. Rusty’s performance in Brutal is weak on actual wrestling/fighting, with only one highly stylized cut-n-paste, very brief tussle with body beautiful Angelo Marconi. If Rusty doesn’t put up something better than that soon, I could easily see Trent slapping a figure-4 choke on him and fucking Rusty’s lip-clad ass out of the top spot in my rankings. Stay focused, and keep up the fantastic work, Trent!


Overlooking Homicidal Sociopathy

wrestlebardLeave a comment

I’m finally caught up with Dexter after having been traveling on and off for the past couple of weekends, and I’m finally not so bitter about the selfish dearth of skin that has been so characteristic of the series. To the contrary, Michael C. Hall has been shirtless quite a bit recently. This simply must continue.

Two weeks ago, this season’s big baddie (and tasty treat, himself) played by Johnny Lee Miller couldn’t help but show some love in appreciation of Dexter’s hot bod in the locker room. I’m not entirely sure what Johnny’s character was doing huddled up in his locker as Dexter was prancing around in his boxers, but as for me, I would have sat myself down on that bench and stared adoringly at Michael C. Hall’s ass.

And speaking of Michael C. Hall’s notable ass, we saw yet ANOTHER sex scene last night with Dexter’s ass coyly hidden from view. That said, superherofan captured a tantalizing tease of Michael’s glorious crack, as his trousers slid down just as he was climbing on top of Julia Stiles. I know that her character is supposed to be completely sympathetic at this point, but I just can’t help hating her out of jealousy. I’m not proud of it.



On the other hand, I am aroused by the homage to bondage play between her character and Dexter’s, moments before their post-homicidal coitus. I’ve had that very fantasy, of tying Michael C. Hall’s hands behind his back helplessly as I explore his body. Unlike Julia’s character, though, I’m not a PTSD-wracked, trauma-cracked, on the path to self-destruction empty jar of marbles that she is. I’d accept a homicidal sociopath for who he is any day, as long as he had Michael C. Hall’s ass. And I come with a lot less baggage (well… less, definitely).

Never Knew What I Missed…

wrestlebardLeave a comment
Christmas came a little early for me this year, and I was treated to some presents directly off of my wish list of matches-to-own. Personally, I would’ve thought I’d have fallen into the “naughty” category. But I’m not asking any questions.

Thumbing through the catalog for things that might show up under my tree, I’ve lately been aching for Ball Bash 2. Truth be told, I’ve got a little crush on Reese Wells aka Brody Hancock. Well, more accurately, I fantasize about crushing him. He’d put up a good fight, mind you, and he’s got some sweet sell. But in the end he’d be screaming a submission wracked across my shoulders, before I rubbed salt in the wound by dropping his back across my knee. When all is said and done and his spirit is broken, I’d walk away with his boots to hang them up as a trophy of good times.

Fortunately for me, Jonny Firestorm has handed Reese precisely the type of treatment I think Reese desperately needs. I wasn’t expecting Ball Bash 2 to be quite so competitive. However, there’s plenty of pretty salesmanship going in all directions for most of this match before it turns into a full-on ball bash squash. Jonny always impresses, and this match is no different. He’s got instincts for delivering exactly the content, pacing, and humiliation that makes ring action my cup of tea.

I have to remind myself that this release came out before anything else that I’ve seen Reese in. This is significant for me because although I’ve seen him flirt with full-on homoeroticism, never since have I seen Reese wrestle naked. And that’s a shame, because he’s got a really beautiful cock, and there’s something about the optical illusion that is Reese’s body that somehow makes perfect sense when he’s in the ring in nothing but those boots (that’d I’d rip off of him and take home with me). I’ve seen the career trajectory that starts out with some stud just translating straight-up wrestling for a homoerotic company, and then eventually evolves into a balls out, naked, full-on homoerotic fantasy fighter. But someone who goes the other direction seems like a novelty (and a little bit of a waste, as far as I’m concerned).

The moment in this match that completely captures me, though, comes when Reese still has his speedos on. Things have been relatively traditional up to this point, with Jonny and Reese taking and giving in approximately equal measure. But when Jonny snaps his legs around Reese’s waist, presses wide the pretty boy’s legs, and grabs hold and squeezes Reese’s balls, this match instantly careens off the straight-up tracks and deep into homoerotic territory. But it’s this moment in particular, and specifically, it’s Reese’s sell of this moment, that captures my imagination. Reese has nowhere to go. Jonny is showing all his cards, including the fantastic revelation that he’s out for nothing short of blood curdling screams. And Reese is writhing in pain, stunningly vulnerable, and totally humiliated. And with his jaws open wide in agony, Reese kisses the mat.

Good god, that kiss just sends me. It’s such an excellent moment of helpless agony. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a BIG fan of Reese’s destruction without trunks, and I’m nearly as enthusiastic about the target-thong that Jonny makes him wear, which is delightfully inadequate to contain Reese’s impressive member that simply can’t be described as entirely flaccid throughout the remainder of the bull busting. All the moving parts to this match line up perfectly, I think. Jonny is impeccable. Reese is astonishing for a “rookie.” The bodies, the wrestling, the setting, the gear (and lack thereof), are all brilliant. But it’s Reese’s lips planted on the floor in agony that makes this match one of my favorites. Thanks, Santa.

Inspiration

wrestlebardLeave a comment
I’ve been talking character construction with several folks offline recently. I’m big on visual inspiration for my imagination. So most of my characters evolve from a certain image or set of looks. Obviously a lot of my homoerotic wrestling fiction utilizes characters built off of real life people, though I am the first to make clear that I’m not writing about the actors and models who serve as inspiration. I’m just starting with how they make me feel and what they inspire in my imagination, and I’m building character from that skeleton. My title character for the Producer’s Ring series of wrestling stories is Eli Brody, who is a complex amalgam of many sources of inspiration. Not least of which, Mark Feuerstein serves as a major component in the construction of how I imagine my character, Eli Brody.

Squarehippies posted these caps from a recent flick with Mark. There’s just no angle I’ve ever seen of Mark that doesn’t drive me crazy with lust. He’s not a muscleboy, by any means. He’s not a lusty dirtbag. He’s not exactly pretty, either, at least as far as I’m concerned. A muscleboy, dirtbag, pretty boy (any combination of these) will always catch my attention. Without any of those elements, though, Mark is still off the charts on my lust radar.

The only thing missing in these caps is Mark’s chart-topper prize of hotness: his gorgeous, bigger-than-your-average-white-boy’s ass. I’m a major fan of Mark’s booty. Mark may not be at the head of the line in your rankings of lustworthy boys, but he gets my engine running like few others can. I don’t know who you might be picturing when you read a story with Eli Brody in it, but as for me, Mark is foundational to the hotness that is the West Coast Titan.

Gratitude

wrestlebard3 Comments

This is my second Thanksgiving Holiday since starting this blog a year and a half ago. I have so much to be thankful for these days. I have a home, a job, people who love me, animals who are excited to see me when I come home. More pertinent to this blog, I’m thankful for a lot of delicious, delightful, homoerotic wrestling inspiration, and for so many of you who share in that delight.
Joe is always at or very near the top of my list of most excellent things about the virtual wrestling kink community we share. If at any point you’re feeling bitter toward me for taking a day or two away from posting new material here, just remember to pop over to Ringside at Skull Island and get your dose of fine wrestling kink commentary there. I generally agree with Joe’s tastes 97.48 percent of the time (I’m a stats person), and his blog feeds my imagination and brings a smile to my face (and a pleasing pressure to my crotch) consistently.

I’ve had a wonderful time over this past year working some new collaborations. I’ve worked with several readers/writers, including two projects right now that the ball is in my court on (I promise, compatriots, I’m working on them!). In addition to co-authors, I’m grateful for the opportunity to chat sidebar with so many fine gentlemen with something to share, complain about, and recommend.

My last note of gratitude for the blog today is to Kid Leopard for his generosity and encouragement of my toils here. He’s been extremely generous with my frequent reposts of BG East material. He’s given me more than I deserve this year, including some thoughtful feedback when I’ve strayed into topics that I talk about much more than I really know about. He’s been understanding and tolerant of my not only writing BG East-based fiction, but even writing him in as a recurring character (my own version of him, of course). For KL, as well as for all of the creative minds keeping the homoerotic wrestling industry turning out new delights, I’m grateful for their ability to find the right formula to stay fresh and creative in the face of consumer criticism and, let’s face it, back seat driving (I fully admit to being a prime offender in that category).

My hope is for nothing but the best for all of you who read my words, for all of the hard workers in production in the homoerotic wrestling industry, and for the beautiful and inspired wrestlers and performers who give our little corner of gay kink a go. Play hard! Play safe.

Movement in the Ranks

wrestlebardLeave a comment

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I just saw one of the most entertaining Naked Kombat matches ever. The set up was golden to start with. Trent Diesel, who’s grabbing me by the balls lately and demanding my attention, teams up with DJ in a mat tag match against Cameron Adams and Leo Forte.

This match rocks me hard, simple as that. Trent and DJ are shredded and hotter than hell. Cameron and Leo are softer and command less fighting experience. I was sure from the intros that Cameron and Leo were headed into a one-sided beat down. I was so wrong.

Truth be told, I think the match wasn’t as close as the official score (55-53), but it was certainly highly competitive. I love the 2-on-1 “grace period” that NK allows when a tag happens, permitting the tagging team to double-team their opponent for a while before kicking the tagged out teammate off the mat. Both teams work the 2-on-1 aggressively. All four boys work their asses off and never say die. And best of all, they generate some serious heat, as egos are bruised and the entertainment turns to defending of pride. Leo in particular cannot STAND getting double-teamed, making it that much more delightful to watch when he’s on the bad end of it (and listen as DJ cackles with delight over Leo’s screams).

Leo’s telling the story of being Cameron (“the weakest link”) Adams’ coach. He’s barking instructions throughout whenever Cameron’s on the mat. And I think it makes a huge difference. Cameron looks like he doesn’t know which way is up quite a bit of the match, but he obeys Leo’s commands and more often than not works him way out of a fix. I was slightly astonished to watch DJ be the total top in his partnership with Trent. During their 2-on-1’s, DJ is snarling out instructions at Trent like a fierce daddy. Just to spoil the drama for you, when they come out on top and take command in the sex round, it’s DJ calling the shots and Trent seeming happy to take his lead.

The most astonishing thing about this match has got to be DJ. I’ve seen him on NK several times (including getting his ass handed to him by Trent), and I’ve liked his work. But in this tag match, he’s incredible! I swear, he holds his own nearly as well on the short end of a 2-on-1 as he does 1-on-1. He kills the double-team advantage for Leo and Cameron on more than one occasion, leaving them simply unable to capitalize on what should be a points bonanza. Frankly, he outwrestles Trent, though Trent on the paralyzed receiving end of Leo’s body scissors, then turning around a couple rounds later and returning the favor long and hard, is fantastically hot.

It’s DJ that makes the biggest jump in my estimation, coming from the unseeded masses to position himself as a serious contender to be one of my homoerotic wrestling favorites (pornboy division, of course). But truth be told, this match nudges Trent sufficiently upward (even if covering less absolute distance), to unseat my #1 contender homoerotic wrestling pornboy, Mitch Colby. Yes, for the first time since I started keeping track of the rankings, Mitch has been suplexed right out of the top two, leaving Rusty Stevens looking over his shoulder at a new #1 contender: the ridiculously hot, hard, gorgeous-with-a-dirtball-edge (in the very best way), Trent Diesel. Congratulations, Trent! Way to climb on top and pound the competition into submission!

Unmentionables

wrestlebardLeave a comment

I’ve been out of town for work for several days, but now I’m very happy to be back at home. Of course, leaving town requires that I work twice as hard before I go to prepare to be away, and then twice as hard when I get back to catch up on everything that’s piled up in my absence. On my list are several emails regarding the blog and wrestling fiction sites to reply to. Since I get some repeat questions, I thought I’d give a couple responses en masse…


First, the wrestling fiction groups are still up and operating. Anyone who signs up (and gets approved) for either the Producer’s Ring or Sidelineland wrestling fiction groups will (I think) get automatic approval to view the websites that have all the archives of wrestling fiction stories I (and some of you) have written and shared.


Some of you clever people have found the sites directly and then asked for 1:1 permission to access them. That seems to work as well, though if you aren’t signed up for the gateway group lists, you won’t get email notices of new stories posted or be able to participate in discussions that arise from them.  So if you’re interested, I’d recommend you to the sign-up pages for each group, and you’ll get full access to the whole sha-bang. Links to the websites are on the home pages for each group. And one last note on the groups, I’ve seen some very clever “reasons you’d like to join” submissions lately. To the new member who simply wrote, in all lower case letters, “please let me in,” I just have to say that’s just adorable. I had a vision of Oliver Twist standing in line for a second helping of gruel. Made me laugh (and I like to laugh).


My other administrative message is, I believe, a repeat. Some of you can’t get enough, and you’ve discovered that I actually administrate a third group called “On Deck.” This “group” is actually just a little workshop area I created to keep track of works-in-progress and try to tame the beast that is Google formatting. I think of it a little like my underwear drawer. I don’t generally show it off to guests. Some of its contents are a little ragged and would be embarrassing for others to be poking around in, frankly. Once I’ve assembled the pieces and finished them off, I promise I’ll post final products in one of the two homoerotic wrestling websites.


I have a lot of other homoerotic wrestling business to catch up on as well, with more to say (hopefully soon) about some new stories in development as well as some new products I have in hand and can’t wait to view and review. You who follow and comment on the blog and fiction continue to be a generous, entertaining, and enjoyable group of folks with which to exercise my imagination. Thanks for the support and encouragement and contribution of your ideas!

Kneeling at the Altar

wrestlebardLeave a comment

“To worship: 1) to honor or reverence as a divine being or supernatural power; 2) to regard with great or extravagant respect, honor, or devotion.”

Okay, somehow Merriam-Webster doesn’t quite capture it. Worship as an element in homoerotic wrestling has to be defined with the word “awe” in it…. to be awed and breathless at the sight, touch, smell, and taste of another’s body. That’s gets a little closer, I think.

The preview pics of upcoming releases by BG East, available in the Arena, are getting me all excited, in particular for what looks to be some tasty body worship of Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you). It’s about time! 


To fail to be awed by Mr. Joshua’s body simply defies belief. The hot mat boy he’s facing off against in the upcoming Matmen 21 can be seen stroking Mr. Joshua’s washboard abs and feeling his big biceps. I’m filled with envy and at least a little twinge of bitterness toward the new guy.




To watch body worship is another entirely homo aspect of homoerotic wrestling that makes it a cut above straight up or innuendo-only wrestling (in my opinion, of course). To dominate and control is hot, erotic stuff, but to enjoy a visceral appreciation of your opponent’s body is just fantastically entertaining. Even for the non-pornboy division, to worship or to be worshipped connects more of the dots for me than otherwise. Mr. Joshua getting worshipped in his upcoming release could very well be what he needs to body slam Lon Dumont out of first place in my rankings of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers – non-pornboy division. Of course Lon and Joshua in a mutual body worship wrestling scenario would be nearly too much for me to handle… but I’d be very, very willing to give it a try.

wrestlebardLeave a comment
DListed seems seriously pissed at the news that Ryan Reynolds has been selected as this year’s Sexiest Man Alive. He’s at least in my top 10 or 20, so I’m willing to give People a little more slack than DListed is. That said, I completely agree that the photo that they chose for their sexiest coverboy is ridiculously lame, and oddly airbrushed.  This is evidence of being the sexiest man alive?

Now THIS could be evidence for a claim on the title of sexiest man alive:

In my imagination, of course, he came in a very, very close second in a balls out wrestling contest with Chris Evans, who I think is glaringly absent from People’s list. I do, on the other hand, strongly approve of Joe Manganiello (yes, I promise, I’m still pecking away at his debut in the Producer’s Ring).

And Glee’s Matthew Morrison is grabbing me by the balls and holding my attention in the past few days (metaphorically). His People pic, again, looks oddly photoshopped yet hot. I’m not into absolutely every guy’s underarms, but I could definitely be into his.

His Details spread, though, is propelling him quickly into the cue for a wrestling match in my mind.
But who might initiate Matthew into the Producer’s Ring?