Author: wrestlebard

I'm a gay man with an active imagination.

The Good Fight

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I’m just coming out of a nearly comatose state after a raging cold made my sinuses feel like they were about to explode inside of my head.  Right around now is the time that I would, in my fashion, likely subtly appeal for sympathy, perhaps pander a bit for encouragement, possibly even manage to go fishing for compliments somehow.  However, catching up on the news I missed while my head has been threatening to explode, I realize that such a pity party would be a little ridiculous.  Sure, there’s the horrific crime of an under-treated, under-diagnosed lunatic with not only access to but training and encouragement in the use of assault weapons, but frankly that’s not what I’m talking about.  Let’s thank Reagan for deinstitutionalization of mental health care and “W” for happily watching assault rifles become legal again for that news.  Chickens home to roost, as far as I’m concerned.

Skip Vance stays healthy every way he can.

What stopped me in my accustomed pity party is following up on Skip Vance’s FB feed.  Skip, friend of this blog and all around stunningly hot jobberboy, mentioned in his interview here earlier this year that he has Crohn’s disease.  Turns out he’s had a new flare up in the past week or so that’s sent him to the hospital, in a lot of pain, and facing significant surgeries and major pharmaceutical bills (oh, yeah, thanks for that, too, Republicans).

Word has gone out elsewhere and a crowd sourcing effort has managed to help Skip raise some much needed funding for his mounting healthcare costs.  However, the hits keep coming, and in addition to still looking at a huge bill for necessary medications, he’s got mounting hospitalization costs accruing the longer he’s holed up getting poked and prodded and punished, and NOT in the good way.

So now that I think about it, if you’ve got pity to spare, send it my way.  I can always soak up that crap.  But if you actually want to make a difference for one of our own who’s in need of some assistance right about now, send your financial support here and keep track of Skip’s journey to hell and back here.  And just as a testament to this kid’s ferocity, he’s already taking tentative pre-bookings for wrestling gigs in the coming months, once he’s kicked this latest episode in the ass.

Lot’s of love, Skip & Christian.  We’re looking forward to having you back on your feet and taking another beating like absolutely nobody else can.

Let’s get these two back to business!

Living the Dream

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Drake Marcos reveals a lot about what happens behind the scenes at BG East’s Florida compound 
At the end of my recent interview with BG East’s newest X-Fighter, Drake Marcos, he suddenly disclosed that at the very moment we were chatting, he was in an airport waiting for his flight to Florida to tape another session of matches with the boys at BG East.  My imagination instantly kicked into overdrive, wondering what hot homoerotic shenanigans Drake would get up on his second outing with BG East, and especially who he’d see up close, personal, and behind the scenes.  Owing to my immense powers of persuasion, Drake instantly agreed to try to smuggle some candid shots out for those of us here at neverland.  With only a little badgering afterward, the Cheshire Cat of homoerotic wrestling coughed up the goods, giving us just a hint of what he saw and did at BG East’s south campus last week.
Presumably, The Boss is checking the latest gossip at neverland…
Some of these shots have a bit of a 007 aspect to them.  They’re a little grainy, from odd angles, like Drake was snapping them with the micro-camera lapel button he snuck in.  However, ever-diligent Kid “they-don’t-call-me-the-boss-for-nothing” Leopard commented on Drake’s interview, giving us at neverland a heads up that he’d be intercepting, censoring, and giving the formal stamp of approval on absolutely anything that Drake was going to pass our way.  Fair enough.  If there’s one thing I learned during my pilgrimage to Pembroke a year and a half ago, it was that The Boss is a “hands on” (euphemism for control-freak) type of CEO.  He readily admits it, so I’m not too worried about getting my nuts crushed for saying so… no too, too worried.  So I’m just happy Drake made it out with these little tidbits to share (and with all his limbs in tact).
KL tapes goldenboy Coop’s wrists before a match
Let’s be honest, Drake managed to get quite a lot past the Boss’ careful eye, so we should be thrilled that he documented such tantalizing facts as golden boy extraordinaire, Austin Cooper,  participated in the action in Florida last week.  The longer Coop is around, the tougher he seems to get.  Facial hair, knee pads, and big red boots on this muscleboy give me a major shot of adrenaline!
Drake describes this shot: “Coop taking it to a distracted Boss”

Coop flashing some gratuitous flexing toward Kid Leopard also turns me on.  A lot.  If he wasn’t just mugging for the camera, and instead was actually throwing a punch at heel-supreme KL… ah, hell!  What a tasty, tasty treat it would be to watch the ensuing carnage!  What the HELL are they watching on television though!?  Buzz kill….

Drake tries on some (wrestling!?) gear
Buzz return!  Drake evidently got to play a little dress up last week, including this gorgeous self-portrait in his jock strap.  As to whether this is evidence that he wrestled in a jock strap, Drake wouldn’t confirm with me.  Teasing bastard….
“Yeah… Drake Marcos is wearing Aryx Quinn’s trunks… bring it!”
Similarly, Drake also snapped this shot in square cut yellow and black trunks, and what’s more, he supplied the provocative caption above!  Those just tuning in may want to revisit my interview with young Drake in which, when I asked what retired classic wrestlers would he like a fantasy match with, he included überhunk, omnipresent Aryx Quinn.
Drake checks out how “retired” Aryx’ trunks look on him
In response to Drake including him on a list for a fantasy match with a star “who’s retired from the scene,” it turns out (should you read the comments to the interview) that Aryx himself took some umbrage at being prematurely put out to pasture by the new kid.  While Aryx’ infamous ego almost certainly swelled erect with Drake’s playful stroking, the ring veteran seemed none too pleased to be counted out of the homoerotic wrestling business before his time.  We’ll have to see what happens when Aryx gets a load of this same newbie strutting around in the gear most BG East fans instantly associate with Aryx.  Drake could be playing with fire here, but ah hell, I wanna be fireside when Aryx gets his hands all over him to demonstrate that he’s not quite ready for the old-folks home yet!
Is bespectacled KV sizing up Coop for a behind-the-scenes muscle bashing? (please say yes)

There’s a lot of detail left out of Drake’s scrapbook from Florida, but enough still there to spur my lustful imagination onward.  For example, Kid Vicious and Coop side by side, “chilling” (as Drake reports) between matches… let’s just picture for a moment KV working over Coop’s luscious muscles in that way that nobody but KV can do!

Flashing so much bare muscle in front of Jonny & KV!?  Coop is just asking for it!

And/or (preferably and) let’s ponder the potential of a KV/Coop tag team partnership, as goldenboy Coop let’s that facial hair grow out in proportion to the nasty heel-lessons he learns the longer he hangs out with classic heels like KV and Jonny Firestorm!  I have to wonder how a bespectacled KV resists the temptation to just tackle barely clad Coop behind the scenes and crush all those muscles into a quivering pulp, and you know for a fact  Jonny would help hold the goldenboy down.  And while I’m on this high-speed train of free-association, can I just say, again, that wrestling hunks in glasses are insanely hot!?! YUM!

Ray Naylor and Lobolito were on hand as well

Sexy newbie Ray Naylor was also on hand in Florida last week, as was a blast from the slightly more distant past, Lobolito!  Let’s review: Lobolito has appeared exactly twice in BG East matches, first getting demasked, crushed, stripped and humiliated at the expert hands of Cage Thunder, and then repeating the rinse cycle in a Wet ‘N’ Wild version against Kid Vicious.

Lobolito cannot get enough BG East beatdown!

And Lobolito is back for more!?  Fuck me, this guy just skyrocketed in my esteem!

Drake identifies this guy aptly as “Mystery wrestler with a hot ass!”

There are, of course, more questions than answers in Drake’s scrapbook, which is, I’m sure, exactly the way KL intends it.  For example, who belongs to this stunningly hot ass approaching the sunroom mats, and where does the line start to catch that ride!?

Wow! Just. Wow!

When he’s coming this direction, he’s equally a mystery but even hotter!  Look at the pecs on this big bear of a bruiser!  A homoerotic wrestling blogger could feast for days on all of that gorgeous, massive muscle!  I’m just a little worried that young Drake might have found his way onto the same mat with his beast, because Insanity workout or no, there’s no way a muscleman this massive could do anything but snap lightweight Drake into several pieces!  Since Drake sent me the pics, I’m assuming he survived the weekend, ergo I’m guessing he didn’t have to face this bulging body in competition.  However, I can still fantasize about what Drake might have got up to with a twink-lusting muscle daddy off camera!

I do believe that’s Silver Eagle back for more after that ass-whooping he took from Morgan Cruise!

Again, I’m left desperately reading between the lines (aka, pulling this out my ass!), but I for one am titillated and delighted to see recent new masked stud, Silver Eagle, back on the mat in Florida.  This, I believe, is the unfortunate rook who faced an iconoclastic Morgan Cruise in his very first BG East appearance, in which Morgan not only crushes Silver Eagle, he gives a go at belittling and destroying the very foundation of the masked homoerotic wrestling genre!  While Eagle didn’t fare well in the end against Morgan, he put up some surprisingly tough and downright mean offense demonstrating that this slice of mouthwatering beef is no simple flat-footed, do-gooder novice.  He’s got an incredibly hot ass, and if he’s the one who had the privilege of facing off against that huge beast of a masked bruiser mentioned above, who do I need to fuck to get an advanced copy of that action!?  There are several more shots snapped by Drake that I have in my possession, enough, in fact, to post a couple more times on the contraband Drake smuggled out of the Florida compound (under the watchful eye of The Boss).  So for now, let’s just send out a word of thanks to a certain BG East newbie living the dream.  You rock, Drake!

Drake dreams of BG East action yet to come…

Do You See What I See?

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Tis the season for shiny, dangling balls, so what better way to celebrate than a new release starring long-time infatuation of mine, Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!!!).

Mr. Joshua’s baubles make me feel all warm inside on a cold winter night!

Mr. J’s latest jaunt into the ring occurs on BG East’s new release Demolition 15.  He and his giant baubles square off against bewilderingly squashable Louie Lanza, a newbie that looks like Mr. Joshua could break in half with a stern look.  I know (really, I KNOW) to expect to be awed by Mr. J’s pendulous package.  I’ve appreciated its every bounce and wiggle, sway and swing in dozens of matches already.  I live in constant unrequited lust to see his trunk monster released from it’s bonds, so of course I’m prepared to be impressed all over again anytime he climbs into the ring or onto the mat.  And still, I experience a little gasp of shock when he shows up in those insanely tight plastic-wrap-style metallic silver trunks.

Lovely Louie holds his breath when he feels Mr. J sliding into position behind him.

There are probably few professions in which an endowment like Mr. J’s most prominent one can be quite so explicitly advantageous.  Exotic dancing.  Porn.  Underwear model for gay men (because if he modeled for straights, you know they’d be completely freaked out and insecure).  But thank Santa that Mr. J has found the niche in which his beauteous bulge is surely most appreciated, the homoerotic wrestling ring.

Mr. J controls his newest twink conquest by a handful of hair and another handful of trunks.

I love a good squash, mind you, so any compilation that includes Mr. J facing an achingly fragile-looking newbie who, let’s face it, just looks like he’s desperate to get his ass kicked, is going to be a crowd pleaser.  This is, in my estimation, a good squash.  Now, I prefer Mr. J in a more competitive scenario.  To be completely honest, I really, really prefer Mr. J outmatched, owned, and stripped naked by a hungry hunk guaranteed to be my personal hero for life, although that preference has never been fulfilled.  However, as he proves in his systematic destruction of lovely Louie, Mr. J carries off the role of muscle-bully exceedingly well.

It’s possible to get so distracted by his bulge that you miss the fact that Mr. J is pristinely gorgeous from head to toe!

I’m certain that my infatuation with Mr. J is far from exclusively explained by the mountain in the front of his trunks.  In fact, there’s something intoxicating to me about a man as aesthetically beautiful as Mr. Joshua being a nasty bully.  He’s so fucking pretty!  I love his proportions.  I love him smooth.  I swear, if you licked him, he’d taste like a peppermint patty (that sweet!).  So when he opens his mouth and out pours this torrent of scathing contempt, the soul crushing and unnecessary insistence on humiliating an obviously outmatched opponent… all delivered on a relentless IV drip of a hellishly sexy Boston accent… the contrasts to my senses are just so delicious.  The whole package (not just THE package) is just so thoroughly, beautifully, and uniquely Mr. Joshua.

Whatever Louie Lanza is thinking, he’s one lucky, lucky bastard!
Let me spare a word for lovely Louie, because although he gets absolutely and completely demolished, he’s got one thing going for him: he runs headlong into his humiliation.  What this kid’s story?!  He taunts Mr. J.  Now, let’s just review… little Louie (an inch shorter and 25 pounds skinnier) taunts powerhouse ring veteran, Mr. J.  He’s got nothing, nothing to put on the table to make this anything other than an uglyass obliteration (though both asses here are quite beautiful).  Now, he’s cute as a button (in a Jersey Shore kind of way), but that’s never been a weakness of Mr. J’s (someone needs to find Mr. J’s weakness!).  And even when Louie is basically getting his leg ripped off at the hip with his trunks yanked so high up his crack that you can almost see them down his throat when he opens his mouth and screams in pain, even then, Louie astonishingly taunts, “Is that all you’ve got!?”  I have two theories here.  1) Louie is a hardcore masochist.  I mean, he’s the sort of twink that likes straps and whips and hand crank electrical devices.  He wants to hurt.  He wants it really, really bad, and all he sees in front of him when Mr. J charges in is muscles expertly tuned to taking a piece of fluff like him to the limit of endurance.  And/or 2) Louie is a hardcore Mr. Joshua devotee (line starts right behind me, bitches!).  He’s watched Mr. J’s wrestling performances for years and wants nothing but to feel those hands on him.  He’s a Mr. Joshua freak who wants nothing but to know exactly how strong all of those muscles are (yeah, that one too, but he’ll have to keep guessing there…).  He’s nursing a Mr. J daddy-fantasy that, let’s face it, almost certainly was born the moment any of us saw Mr. J strap that studded collar around furious, but beaten Rocco’s neck and drag him into the private portion of the BG East facility to service his new master.
Is Louie aiming to follow in Rocco’s footsteps?
I like to think that Mr. J has a collection of lovely, lithe twinks with blond highlights at home, each with their own studded collars, thongs yanked up their cracks, and duties to perform in service of Mr. J.  Rocco, Chico Valdez, Randy Stanton, Jeremy Burk,  Austin Raines, now Louie Lanza, (hell, maybe that’s where muscle bunny beautiful Troy Baker disappeared to!?)… I picture them each in a thong, each charged with servicing Mr. J’s every whim morning, noon, and night.

There’s nothing epic in Demolition 15 for Mr. Joshua’s storyline, as far as I can tell.  He hasn’t offered his wildly tappable ass for a bar conquest to compete for, as he did with Randy Stanton.  He isn’t facing down an astonishingly hands on, nearly unstoppable Napolean-complexed drill sergeant like he did with Gino Liotta.  There’s no upperclassman bully session turned shockingly on its head this time, like there was with Austin Raines.  It’s just little Louie caught between a rock and a hard place, over and over again, and soaking up every ounce of punishment he can take from expertly outfitted Mr. Joshua Goodman.  Happy holidays, indeed!

The Ring Bunny

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I’ve posted a new piece of juicy pro wrestling fiction from Alex in his AWL series over at the Sidelineland fiction group.  It’s another Daring Danny Chase story, so I know of several fans of Daring Danny that will particularly brighten to hear this news.  Alex is taking us into some new territory, including some twisted kink that even disturbs me just a little (not much… but a little).  I use the word “disturb,” however it’s not like “AWL: The Ring Bunny” failed to completely turn me on and get my heart pumping hard.  Alex just has that way about him!  It’s just that “ring bunny” character that throws me…

I’ve commented in the past that I’m not sure Danny is the brightest bulb in the lamp, which got me into some hot water with fans taking me to task for calling Danny dumb.  For the record, I don’t think Danny’s dumb.  I do think he’s a beautiful work of fiction, however, so unless Alex writes the results of an IQ test into a future story, we may never really know any objective measure of Danny’s intelligence. His common sense, however, is occasionally seriously impaired (c’mon, you gotta give me that!), and that weakness is once again the foundation for Danny to encounter a challenge like he’s never faced before, not entirely limited to the seriously pissed off 6’1″, 250-lbs mountain of muscle bearing down on him.

So sure.  Perhaps we just haven’t seen Danny’s brainy side.  This snapshot of his life and career from the early 80’s world of pro wrestling is hardly a study in his intellectual capacity as much as it is a recognition that when you’re gorgeous as hell and built like a gym-bunny pro wrestler, the calls for you to produce your SAT scores are understandably limited.  Whether I’m too hard on lovely Danny (and trust me, I could get a lot harder!) as I speculate about his intelligence, I’m entirely on board with his many fans who find his pro-wrestling-turned-kink-wrestling stories damn hot!  Nice work as always, Alex!

Drake Is Just Getting Started

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I love it when BG East fans turn the corner and become BG East wrestlers!  For one thing, I think they’ve got a leg up in already knowing the scene.  A wrestler who arrives already knowing the story of the epic heel turn of Brad Rochelle, for example, is immediately starting off at an entirely different level in speaking to me as a fan, I think.  But even more, a new wrestler who has been a long-time fan has a greater chance of already knowing about fan blogs like this one.  Case in point: BG East rookie x-fighter, Drake Marcos.  Well before his debut release in X-Fights 34, I caught sight of sexy Drake in a behind-the-scenes pic off off Kid Karisma’s blog post about the September taping in Pembroke.  Young Drake caught my eye, sandwiched so tightly between big, burly bear Red Baron and blond, blue-eyed Canuck, Blaine Janus.  I gushed a bit here at neverland, speculating on what this handsome young hottie might bring with him as a newbie to the scene.  Little did I know that Drake not only follows BG East as an avid fan, he also reads neverland!  He reached out and thanked me for the shout out.  One thing led to another, and of course I talked BG East’s newest x-fighter into giving me an interview.  I had no idea the auspicious location he was in when we chatted, and another surprise I had, once I had Drake on the line, was how fast time flies when chatting with him.  He likes to talk about all things homoerotic and wrestling every bit as much as I do, and you and I both know that’s saying a whole, whole lot!  So here’s the transcript of my extensive chat with the cheshire cat of BG East’s rookie line up in Catalog 96.  For your viewing and reading pleasure, let me introduce Drake Marcos…
Drake Marcos: 5’10”, 155 lbs, damn happy to wrestle for BG East!

Bard: So, Drake Marcos, it’s a great pleasure to meet you! On behalf of BG East fans, welcome into our wrestling fantasies! If I’m not mistaken, you’re the handsome stud sandwiched between Blaine Janus and Alan aka Red Baron in one of Kid Karisma’s pics that he posted on his blog in September. How does it feel with your debut release just out, to have joined the elite ranks of BG East wrestlers?

Drake first appeared here at neverland as that unnamed hottie between Blaine Janus and Red Baron

Drake: Pleasure to meet you as well, Bard! And you’re far too kind! I am the fresh face from KK’s blog. That shot was taken before heading out to the airport after a whirlwind week of shooting at the fabled BG East house. After reading this blog in the past and gaining some insight on what makes some other wrestling fans tick, it’s different to be in the role of “wrestler,” and no longer just a fan. It’s exhilarating to be on camera once again doing something that began as a hobby, and kind of “dirty little secret”, and it’s even more so that people are responding to my BG East debut. And with that new catalog? I am extremely proud of being a part of that lineup and mixing it up with guys I’ve admired for a bit now.

“My smile has a mind of its own…”

Bard: It’s obvious from your debut match against that brand new muscleboy version of Gabriel Ross that you’ve got plenty of insight into what makes erotic wrestling so hot! Before I ask you about getting your hands all over lovely Gabriel, though, I want to ask how you were “discovered?” The website says that you contacted them, they checked you out, and then you got the invite to show up for that whirlwind week of shooting. What was the vetting process like? How did it feel to get the word that you made the cut and were invited to join the ranks of BG East wrestlers?

Drake: The story on the site is kind of oversimplified. Basically I’ve known Kid Leopard for nearly a decade. We’ve had multiple conversations online. He’d extended the offer to bring me out for training in the past, but there’s a long backstory involving inner spiritual turmoil and near crippling body dysmorphia issues, and I demurred for a good while. Then, late last year, I jokingly applied as a model for the now-defunct HBWL and was put in contact with the owner, and next thing I know, I’d completed three shoots for them and received a message on, also now defunct, Grunts ‘N Groans from KL that said, simply, “No more excuses, it’s time.” And with a slight hesitation, I accepted. With everything official and settled, I threw my ass headlong into the gym and began to get myself into better shape for BG East, and I hope that translated to camera. I credit much of the early blossoming of my sexuality to BG East, oddly enough. So the idea that someone saw me as a good fit for the site was quite overwhelming. I was determined not to let KL down with my fitness or any fans that may have been holdovers from HBWL.

Bard: I hear the jokers that write the text for the BG East website often oversimplify things! Fascinating to hear the story and to read between the lines of what sounds like even more story. I’m thrilled that you battled whatever demons were necessary to “throw your ass headlong” into this adventure! I found your presence in the mat room for X-Fights 34… compelling, to say the least. Having such a long build up to get to that day, what was it like when the boys at BG East said, “Oh, and by the way, you’re going to wrestle your first match against the massively muscled gym bunny that ate Gabriel Ross whole?”

Drake gets thrown to the wolves

Drake: Gabriel Ross ate himself whole? [laughing] That backstory is a Lifetime movie slash one-man play slash gay coming-of-age novel just…sexier, I guess, considering where it’s brought me. Hearing that I would be making my debut against Gabriel made me ten kinds of nervous. Granted I’ve a significant height advantage, and maybe (maybe!) a few pounds, I simply did not have the muscle I needed to gain an advantage against him on the mats. That, and Gabriel chose me for his first match back to the BG East world. Here I was barely off the plane and he was already preying on the unexperienced new wrestler. Nothing like getting thrown to the wolves on your first day. But if the wolves are that sexy…
          Had you asked me before fighting Gabriel who I wanted to cut my teeth against I would have picked someone equally as new and with similar stats, but after? I can’t imagine a better way to get the ball rolling. And it definitely got me amped for the opponents I had later in the week.

Bard: I know of no other believable explanation for how lovely “little” Gabriel Ross turned into that massive musclebound basher than to believe a gorgeous gym bunny ate him. I’m sticking to it. So hold that thought about who else you faced, because you know for a fact I’m coming back to that topic! But let me linger just a bit on diabolically innocent looking Gabriel hand-picking you to give you that wad-blowing welcome he gave you in X-Fights 34. So there’s just no way to miss the grin stretching from ear to ear across your face through most of this match (excluding the moments when your face is buried between his skull-crunching thighs or twisted in such exquisite agony). Was it difficult maintaining your focus on the wrestling? You get in some enviable muscle worship in there, and I couldn’t help but think jealously of the phrase “between a rock and a hard place” when he repeatedly delighted in just slamming his bulging body down on top of you and pounding the air out of your lungs. Was the mix of pain and pleasure what you expected it to be, and would you do anything differently, knowing what you know now about Gabriel 2.0?

Gabriel gives Drake a thrill he’ll be chasing for a long time
“… so easy to get lost in worshipping him”

Drake: Well it took me a minute to let it sink in when I was told that Gabriel wanted to face me. First: flattered that such a hot stud wanted me for a match. Second: worry; you don’t challenge someone to a match unless you think you are going to be able to come out on top. So about that grin… I loved every second of that fight. The brief moments when I had Gabriel where I wanted him, and yes, even when he used his considerable experience to show me for the rookie I am. My smile has a mind of its own; I have a hard time suppressing emotion, so when I’m happy, that joker’s grin asserts itself. He used his considerable muscle and appeal to distract me, yes.  There were times I wanted to say: “Fuck wrestling…we’re just going to go at it!” but something deep inside told me that I needed to avenge that opening submission and, if possible, use my own sexual desire as a weapon to maybe turn the tide of the match in my favor. But it was so easy to get lost in worshipping him. It took the body splashes and the rib-crumbling body scissors to remind me that we were still fighting. The pain was a lot more exquisite than I was expecting, and the pleasure far outweighed even my strongest fantasies. The two of those things together though are something I’ll probably chase for a while. It was, essentially, my own lust and over eager attitude that contributed to my debut downfall at the hands of the Brit, and given the chance of a rematch, I would eagerly snatch it up and would definitely do better on a second go around. I’m more focused, and in better shape than the first time. Gabriel can rest easy with this win, but next time he hits American shores I’ll be ready.

Drake goes down under the expert attention of an angel-faced veteran

Bard: Well, if you’re going to “go down,” what a fantastic way to do it – in the expert hands of someone like Gabriel Ross! So, not to trigger your body dysmorphia, but I typically ask wrestlers I interview what part of their body they’re most proud of. Particularly as you’re so committed to forging your body into better and better shape, what are you liking about you’re body these days?

Drake’s new abs take a beating, which
he gives right back to Gabriel.

Drake: Overall I’ve been pretty shy about revealing my body for a great deal of my life. I’m talking cutting out of class early so I could change for PE alone. Before coming out I used to weigh about 50 lbs more than I do now, and it wasn’t muscle. That weight eventually proved itself to be stress weight and kind of melted off in quick fashion, and I never really did anything else to improve my body because I was terrified of the gym and judgment. So the dysmorphia would assert itself much more as an adult because, in my mind, I was still carrying that extra weight. It was about a year before finally accepting Kid Leopard’s offer that I started to get kind of serious about getting in shape. I mean, I was getting naked on camera in HBWL; no one wants to see an out of shape guy doing that [laughing]. My body wasn’t quite changing the way I wanted it to, and it wasn’t until I started doing Insanity that I realized where I had went wrong. And now that you see what my dysmorphia has done to my life you want me to focus on my body? [laughing] Kidding… Okay I’ve always been kind of fond of my own smile and eyes.  I’ve received compliments about them my whole life, but those are two features I can’t really be proud of because I have no hand in their development. But as I work my way through Insanity, I am noticing some amazing major changes.  I’m finally building some muscle and melting off some weight. I’m beginning to pay more attention to my legs as my thighs become solid, but my kind of favorite feature now is my rapidly developing abs. I didn’t really think I had them, honestly. After two weeks on this program they began introducing them selves to my mirror. I’ve been sore tempted to just stop and accept the body I have achieved so far because a) I’ve never felt so good in my life, and b) I’ve never looked this good in my life. The thing is though, I’m only halfway through the program; if the first half was this good to me, I can only imagine how good the next one is going to be. Before I embarked on this workout I told everyone that my goal was to look like a cheese grater.

Bard: Well, I’m guessing there are plenty of guys who’ll be happy to rub something up and down your body, but I don’t think it’ll involve cheese! You look damn sexy to me! You’re crazy-handsome (thus my fawning comparisons to John Fugelsang on my blog, who I think is incredibly hot). And your legs are simply gorgeous. I predict you’re going to make boys cry when you’ve snapped shut those scissors around them. Speaking of which, at this early point in your wrestling career, what do you think is the strongest aspect of your wrestling arsenal? What holds or maneuvers do you think are your most effective, and equally as important, what holds turn you on the hardest (either giving or receiving)?

“I’m rather fond of my full nelson/body scissors combo.”

Drake: You’re buttering me up and then asking me to wax arrogant on what I find to be amazing about myself…well played, Bard! [laughing] You’re far too kind with the compliments, but I’m fine with that. When it comes to wrestling I haven’t quite had a chance to show what I’m capable of just yet; rest assured that I will though. But I think that my good-guy attitude and good-natured personality are kind of disarming when I actually get someone in pain. I may not look tough, but that’s part of it all. I’m kind of a bitch when it gets down to it. Given the chance, I will fuck someone up. Yes, I kind of want to use my legs to dominate in the future, but until I have them up to caliber for that kind of action, I’m rather fond of my full nelson body scissor combo. Yes, Gabriel held up surprisingly well in my full nelson, but he’s also more experienced and caught me off guard. I’m really flexible and can take a lot of pain (especially now that I know what I’m up against in this company) and like to pay it back in spades. In terms of getting aroused during combat, those who’ve known me for a while know that I’m a sleeper and chokehold fanatic. Any time someone is wrapped up tight and you get to watch the fight drain from their eyes, the realization sinking in that it’s all over and there’s not a damn thing to be done, the muscles losing control and hanging limp as their body shuts down and accepts defeat is the hottest thing in the world to me.

Drake likes wrapping them up tight and watching the fight drain from their eyes.

Bard: I’m an expert butterer (take that however you’d like)! However, I refute your claim that I am too kind. I just call it like I see it. And I call your description of what turns you on about a sleeper/chokehold wildly hot! I cannot wait to see you put some stud out cold, and then disentangle yourself from his unconscious body with you fully aroused. That’s gold-plated platinum, right there, that is! Who else have you wrestled so far for BG East? And, knowing that Kid Leopard would crush both our sets of testicles if you were to answer that question, who on the BG East’s present roster would you most like to sleeper out cold?

Drake: [laughing] As for who I’d like to fall victim to my sleeper? I have a few in mind… Skip Vance for one, Len Harder for the shit talk on Grunts N’ Groans, and definitely Ben Monaco for the shit talk exchange on Facebook, that would be ultra satisfying. And I hate to say it, Bard, but I would love to take down your resident god: Kid Karisma. The first three I know are entirely possible; Kid K would be a major stroke of luck, however. Being honest, I know I’m not near the level of competition or skill for Kid K, but I would kill for the shot.

Drake has his sights set on patron saint of
neverland, Kid Karisma

Bard: That’s a fantastic menu! I love to hear that you boys mix it up with trash talk online. Nothing, but nothing hotter than an erotic grudge match! And I’d love to see you give Kid K a go! But I warn you, if you found Gabriel Ross’s hot bod distracting, you’d better include some hardcore tantric meditation to your training schedule, because you wouldn’t be the first challenger to get completely thrown off your game plan when he shoves that world class ass in your face and flexes for you. I definitely want to see that match happen… from the front row! Since you’ve been a BG East fan for a while, who are some of the classic wrestlers who’ve retired from the scene that you would’ve liked to have faced in their prime? And what are some highlights of what those fantasy matches would have entailed?

Drake: I know I’m possibly signing my own death certificate by throwing that kind of challenge out there at Kid K, and I know I’m not quite ready to compete at that level quite yet. That’s why I’m secretly hoping he doesn’t show up at a shoot that I’m at soon! But I do believe, that, with enough training and preparation that, if I can’t beat him, I’m definitely going to give that flawless ass a run for its money.

Josh Avery talks top notch trash

     Now, asking me to dig back quite a bit in my memory in my fantasies… Three names pop out immediately: Aryx Quinn, Nick Archer, and Josh Avery. Those three guys have crossed paths with each other. The first BG East match I ever purchased was a grudge match with Nick and Josh. Josh’s complete inhalation of Nick in the ring is almost the entire encapsulation of my erotic wrestling fantasies; unfortunately Josh was a one trick pony. His matches followed the same patterns that kind of wore thin after a while. Anyone who has seen more than one of his matches will know what I’m talking about. His trash talk in the aforementioned match is epic and so hot to me.

Aryx Quinn and Nick Archer round out
Drake’s classic fantasy list

     Aryx Quinn: that’s the only thing that really needs said is his name. When I first started checking out the stuff he was putting out, I loved his bad guy, pretty face, dominating attitude. But as time went on, I started seeing him get his ass handed to him and that became much hotter to me. The thought of taking down those two big-mouthed pretty boys and shutting them up? Taking a page from Josh’s own book and flexing over his unconscious body, each flex signifying a count all the way up to ten? Yea, and Aryx, finally seeing him with absolutely nothing to say, no witty retort, no stuttered trash talk, my foot on his heaving sweaty chest. That shit excites me.
     Finally Nick Archer: as much as I loved watching him getting methodically torn apart, I kind of want to experience defeat at his hands. Short, ripped little fucker, making me fade away helplessly in his classic, figure-4 head scissor. Shit, I’m going to have to revisit some of those matches for the holiday season!

Bard: Hot, hot, hot! I love the fact that you know the BGE catalogue so well. I’m making an educated guess that your familiarity with the classics will be a major asset in your evolving homoerotic wrestling career. Taking the best, hottest elements of the best and hottest wrestlers seems like it would automatically give you a huge leg up against other wrestlers, particularly other rookies. And personally, I think any wrestler who wears headgear into the ring (a la Josh Avery) should get tied into the ropes with said headgear stuffed down his trunks. But that may be just me. So Aryx, Nick, and Josh… I’m sensing a prettyboy-jock theme. Are there particular themes to the guys that get your heart pumping hardest? Angelic-looking sadists with gym bunny bodies and English accents can obviously top you off, but do you have other “tastes” that you tend toward in your guys?

Drake remembers well that it was Justin
Pierce who stole Josh Avery’s headgear and
put the trash talker to sleep!

Drake: I think it was Justin Pierce, actually, who beat Josh Avery’s ass, stripped him of his headgear and then wore it himself as he put Josh to rest. Not only that, but left Josh lying in a heap, Justin claiming the headgear as his own. – Pretty boy jock theme, huh? Never really thought of it that way; makes sense looking back on it. But I think when it comes down to wrestling and all, I think what really gets me going is the self-assured, confident, arrogant, mouthy guys who think they’re Superman, untouchable, invincible. That attitude is hot to me. However, the tantalizing thing about that attitude is when they get their comeuppance, are defeated and humiliated. Egos totally wounded, crushed, humbled. That is what gets me going. But in terms of picking guys to go toe-to-toe with, they can’t be behemoths. Or too tall, unless they have that attitude I crave. I prefer guys that are, at the very least, in as good of shape as me, or are built well. Gym bunny bodies are awesome, but guys who are a little more Everyman (in shape, but not an Adonis) are more my speed. You don’t really know what you’re going to get from those guys. They’re the ones that shock and dazzle. And then there are some that just suck [laughing]. But you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs right?

K-Pop hardbody, Jay Park

     However, I have a certain weakness for Asian guys. Spend 5 minutes researching K-Pop on YouTube (for example, G-Dragon, Tae Yang, Jay Park). Those are my penultimate, favorite guys – either in the ring, bed, or (prophetic) altar. I want those types of guys. As well as the Everyman, those are the ones you really don’t know what to expect from. I haven’t been let down thus far, let’s just say that. Accents are also a pretty good turn on as well. A good grasp of English is required, but the stumbling, fresh off the boat accents are hilarious and adorable.
     It’s always been kind of weird to me, though, when I think about the wrestling/dating aspect. I know there’s the legendary Christian/Skip fairy tale wrestling romance, that I’d like to find some day. But, usually, when I’m dating someone, wrestling them is the farthest thing from my mind. Weird, I know. But I am sort of a private person in a lot of aspects. The wrestling part of my life is kept separate from my personal life, and I’m kind of okay with that. Now that’s not to say that I don’t have fun and don’t wrestle off camera, I do that. But, at this point in time, I feel more at ease and organized with keeping the two as separate entities. Who knows, though? Maybe down the road the two will merge into a perfect union. Only time will tell.

Bard: Fascinating! It’s a sad thing not all of us can enjoy a “wrestling romance” as wrestling-hot as Christian and Skip. You’ll have to let us at neverland know if these two worlds collide for you in the future. Maybe Skip and Christian can set you up with some wrestling stud that they know of on the market. So, 1) who would be your top pick for a tag team partner, 2) who would you face first, and 3) which of the four of you ends up tied in the ropes and force-fed cock? Oh, wait, that last part is my answer to the question, “What would be the climax to that match,” so perhaps that should be your number 3.

Mr. Janus had better hold up his end of a
tag team with Drake, or else!

Drake: I’ve never really thought of the whole tag team aspect before.  It’s never figured into my fantasies. I’ve always been kind of focused on doing a job myself, but if I’m facing insurmountable odds and need help, I’d probably like to have Nick Archer on my side. The things I could learn from him! And if I can’t have him, then I’ll want Blaine Janus because he and I developed a connection at the last shoot, and I think we’d work well together because of that. And it would be fun to go up against Christian and Skip or Skrapper and Z-Man. Now I’d think Christian/Skip would fare pretty well against us in a way I don’t think Skrapper and Z-Man would. I’ve seen Z-Man go down far too many times to smaller guys to worry, and that’s a lot of weight for Skrapper to shoulder on his own. So I predict a nice win with Mr. Janus as my partner. And I see that win coming from a hard fight with me cranking one of them out in a sleeper/body scissors combo and Blaine with a nice headscissor on the other one, both studs fading out cold. And if we lose, best believe that Canuck, Blaine, will find himself receiving the torture you mentioned earlier! [laughing]

Bard: Well you may have never figured a tag team partner into your fantasies, but you’ve painted a most provocative picture that I’d pay to see! And I love hearing that you hit it off with Blaine. Damn, that guy puts the “erotic” in homoerotic wrestling! So a couple of years ago I adopted a rule that I saw Kid Leopard enforce on the BG East Headquarters discussion group, banning comments that trash wrestlers with catty comments about their bodies. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how ridiculously hypercritical gay guys can be as “consumers” of each other’s bodies (so to speak), and I occasionally round-bin a comment that someone tries to post on my blog about a wrestler being too skinny, fat, unattractive, etc. At the same time, I realize that I’m one of a chorus of voices promoting my particular tastes in men’s bodies, including (but not limited to) hard, hot muscle hunks with probably unhealthily low body fat and ridiculous genetic gifts. As a new face on the scene who’s upfront about your history of struggling with your body image, do you have any advice for homoerotic wrestling fans about how we talk about you all? And any advice for the countless guys reading these words who struggle with valuing themselves because of body image issues and that internal, hypercritical gay bitch inside each of us all too ready to tear ourselves down for not looking like some completely unrealistic ideal (aka, Lon Dumont… for me, at least)?

Drake: As part of the gay community, you are subject to unfair criticism. In terms of wrestlers, we’re stripping ourselves down on camera so the criticism is heightened. Fueled by a love of the similar tastes and wanting to put something out for the fans, that we ourselves would like to watch, is something we don’t take lightly. When it comes to attacking wrestlers: if you want to sit at your keyboard in the safety and comfort of your home and have the audacity to criticize what we look like, who we are and what we do (or don’t do), I’m not bothered, that’s your shtick. Until you have the guts to do what we do, you have nothing to stand on. We do what we do to make you happy. We have so many different guys to cast in our fantasy roles. If you see someone on the site that you don’t think is attractive or doesn’t fit your ideal, just keep clicking. We have the Adonises. We have the guys who are continuing to work on their bodies. And we have the Everyman. But to take to a wrestling blog and to attack someone’s image is a waste of everybody’s time.

Bard: I hear you! And I hope that I haven’t strayed into that particular shtick too often, because I think you’re absolutely right. You guys who strip down to nearly (or completely!) nothing and not only put your bodies on display but also put them to the test against another competitor (however competitive and/or amorous it gets) deserve 110% respect from those of us who just “consume.” And personally I get stoked by so many different “types” of wrestlers. I love getting totally taken by surprise, making a snap judgment that some wrestler isn’t going to be at the top of my list of fantasies, only to see him in action and find myself totally captured by his body, his intellect, his humor, his personality.

Drake: Yeah, I’m pretty much a fan of the old adage “Everyone is beautiful.” Because it’s true. Concepts of beauty differ greatly across racial and generational lines. Everyone needs to get to a point where they love themselves for who they currently are and what they look like.

Not everyone should look like Stretch Armstrong (who turned me gay)

Bard: So true! I watch British television a lot, and I’m often struck when they have a character who’s supposed to be some gym bunny meat head (often also supposed to be an American, interestingly) who would probably be laughed off the set as nothing special for anything being filmed in Hollywood. Presenting anything other than a highly competitive, zero-body fat, platonically proportioned bodybuilder seems too often to bring out the cattiness in some gay fans. There are a lot of different standards for judging beauty, and insisting that everyone look like a plasticine sculpture of a Stretch Armstrong doll is just ridiculous.

Drake: Since we’re talking about body image everyone needs to accept the reality of how you currently look and decide if there’s something you want to change. There are literally millions of avenues to getting into the shape you want. The hardest part of all this is committing to doing it though. It takes 2 weeks to develop a habit. Give yourself at least 14 days of doing something everyday, and then you’ll continue to do it. And the worst thing you can do going into physical fitness is wanting to have the body of someone else. No one has identical bodies. Every body is built differently and with different potentials. What you need to do is go into it wanting to be in the best shape possible: that includes a healthy diet, a good workout program, and an attitude that it is possible.

Bard: I think that sounds like an awesome attitude and approach, Drake! I think it’s also a nice corrective to the tendency to latch onto one “ideal” body and hold ourselves, and our homoerotic wrestling objects of lust, up to that one image. Your comments send me self-reflecting on this blog, and the ways that I may intentionally or inadvertently promote unrealistic body images for wrestlers and readers. Regularly picking my favorites probably says a lot about the range (or lack thereof) of what I think of as ideal. You’ve given me a lot of food for thought!

Like Zac Efron, but even better

Drake: As I apply this to myself, even before my actual attempt at getting in shape my ideal was Zac Efron. Now that I’m actually working out and seeing results I would say I have the potential to look even better! But I wouldn’t necessarily say you’re guilty of promoting unrealistic ideals. I mean, these guys exist, so it’s obviously realistic, but for them. But different bodies, different potentials. People don’t need to kill themselves to look like someone else, because what’s the fun in that? Don’t you want to stand out from the crowd? I worship at the altar of individuality often. I celebrate people who are completely their own person and don’t compromise to fit other people’s perceptions. Whenever I witness someone doing something completely out of the norm I find myself wanting to be a part of it. That’s how it’s been my whole life, always something new, off the wall. And ultimately I think it’s that attitude that’s brought me here. BG East is not filled with a bunch of skinny boys having sex. It’s filled with all body types struggling against each other to achieve physical dominance and superiority. It’s primal. It’s sensual. It’s hot as hell!

Bard: Hell, yes! Smokin’ hot wrestlers come in all sorts of packages! I’ll take that “necessarily” to heart, and I sincerely appreciate your words of caution about worshipping too much at the altar of cookie-cutter fitness model physiques. I think this conversation is good for me as I think about how I write about wrestlers and how I think about my own fitness goals. You rock.

Drake: Well, it’s your blog, your little corner of the web to say what you think unfettered by other people’s thoughts. If you feel like saying someone has the penultimate bod, I think you should be allowed to express that. One more thing I wanna say about fitness before we move away from that is: I am not a fitness guru, nor am I a physical trainer. I’m far from that. I’m just a guy who came late for the party and is stuck cleaning up the mess. I can only speak from my personal, frighteningly sparse, experience. So with that forewarning, another key to getting yourself on track is friends and accountability. I lost track of how many people have noticed my improvements, even ones that I didn’t see with my mirrored “progress checks” (which occur every few hours.) That, especially, serves to buoy and foster confidence that what you’re doing is working: other people’s validation. You’re your own worst critic, but once you’ve got others on board supporting you, those self-defeating voices eventually begin to fade.

Bard: Again, that sounds like excellent advice! So… Zac Efron? Okay. I’ll be fine with you having his body (or better). But as for who you look like, when I saw Kid K’s pic of you from the September shoot at BG East, I mentioned on my blog that you sort of had a John Fugelsang look about you. Tell me that you get that all the time, that you look like John Fugelsang. And holy shit, John Fugelsang as an X-fighter homoerotic wrestler… holy… shit! What an idea!!!

Separated at birth?

Drake: [laughing] I didn’t even know what a “John Fugelsang” is, but a quick search online shows he’s an actor with some left-leaning comedic leanings, which I can definitely get into. But yeah, I kinda see it.  As for others I’ve asked: no one knows who he is either. So I’m afraid you’re kind of alone in that. I have, however, been compared to other celebrities: Ricky Ullman (Disney Channel’s “Phil of the Future”), Jim Parsons (Sheldon of “Big Bang Theory), Tony Dow (Wally of “Leave It To Beaver – 50s sitcom), and Sean Hayes (Jack from NBC’s “Will and Grace”). But since Kid Leopard can work magic maybe we can get that matchup between me and Fugelsang put together. A loosely connected sequel to “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” but this would be “The Time Traveler’s Battle,” where he travels back in time to wrestle his younger self [laughing].

Wally Cleaver as erotic wrestler!

Bard: I’m okay with being fettered… if it’s consensual. And I’m okay if I’m the only guy in the world who suddenly found America’s Funniest Videos wildly erotic during the brief period it was co-hosted by John Fugelsang. Seriously, I… got… off to AFV for him. Sharing too much? Suffice it to say I intended the Fugelsang comparison as a major compliment. And you X-fighting John Fugelsang would surely rip a hole in the space-time continuum with the over the top explosive eroticism. I had to look up Ricky Ullman, which suddenly makes me feel old. However I think you’re several times hotter than Jim Parsons or Sean Hayes, though if I saw you in black and white, I think I’d agree with the Tony Dow comparisons. I won’t bother going into detail about what Leave It to Beaver reruns did for me (a lot).

Drake: I had a nagging suspicion that I had seen him in something before but couldn’t put my finger on it, but you nailed it! I have seen Fugelsang around before, just didn’t know his name! Since I’m apparently his doppelgänger, it’d be in poor taste for me to say I find him attractive, right? This all being said, I really am going to develop an ego with all the compliments you’ve been feeding me… Stop…please…(keep ‘em coming)! [laughing]

Bard: Well I’m fantasizing about you in an X-fight with Fugelsang, so if you find him attractive, all the better on my end. So we’ve been at this interview for a while, and I think I could keep chatting for hours longer with you, but I suspect you have a life to get on with. You’ve given neverland readers, and me in particular, a ton of great stuff to ponder and look forward to. Anything else you’d like to say by way of introduction to BG East fans sitting up and taking note of Drake Marcos’ arrival on the scene?

Drake: I’ve had a blast chatting with you about all of this and am so sad it’s ending! This has been way too fun! As we talk, I’m sitting in an airport in Atlanta waiting for my flight to Ft. Lauderdale where I will be getting up to some more BG East hijinks, so definitely want to say you can expect more from yours truly, Drake Marcos. Maybe some of my comments here can prick the ears of future challengers and we can get the wheels rolling on those. I plan on either starting blogging or tweeting soon (I’ll keep you informed) to capture all of the BG East goodness, because I’d like to be at this for a little bit. I derive great pleasure in giving people what they want to see and hear so stick with me, because Drake is just getting started.

Having had a taste of BG East wrestling,
Drake is definitely heading back for more!

Bard: Fantastic to hear that you’re on your way to your next taping with the BG East boys! I hope it’s wildly raunchy and incredibly hot! And I love the news that you’re contemplating documenting your journey in homoerotic wrestling in blog or tweet format. Let me know the moment you start so we can get folks tuning into Drake Marcos’ next big adventure! And finally, take some behind the scenes photos at the Florida compound. I love, love, love the behind the scenes photos. Fly safe and play hard, Drake!

Drake: I will certainly do that, Bard. It was a pleasure chatting with you and I look forward to doing it again soon!

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

wrestlebard11 Comments

Austin Wolf’s reign as homoerotic wrestler of the month has been a wild one, no doubt, but it’s time to kick his fine, fine ass off the throne to make room for one of the army of beautiful boys who, unlike Austin, posted a new release in homoerotic wrestling during the month of November.  The field is always deepest when BG East releases a catalog, and that’s the case this time around.  Among the notable contenders from BG East’s catalog 96 is newly minted muscle bunny, Gabriel Ross from X-Fights 34, as well as former HWOTM and long-time reigning favorite around here, pendulous Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) for Demolition 15.  It should come as no surprise to recent readers that Gazebo Grapplers 14 presents a bevy of beautiful contenders, including rookies Pete Sharp and friend of this blog Mason Brooks, as well as former HWOTM Christian Taylor, veteran erotic master  Blaine Janus, and the visually stunning pair of hairy hunks Ben Monaco and Damien Rush.  I haven’t discussed Muscle Madness 1 yet around here, but damn, did you see sex-wrestler and monster muscleman Magnus have his way with big, beautiful Chace LaChance!?  Former HWOTM Z-Man also posts a hot performance with frequent contender Rio Garza, and both Trent Blayze and Darius work up so much heat between them that my computer mouse even got hot! Two former HWOTM went head to head in some of the most visually beautiful images I’ve ever seen when Lon Dumont brought a long a rookie to put a glorious beatdown on barefoot beauties Jake Jenkins and Austin Cooper for Tag Team Torture 15. From Sunshine Shooters 5, I was deep down turned on by the Dorian Gray-esque Patrick Donovan and massive stud Dev Michaels, as well as current reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler overall Kid Karisma, making it hurt so sweetly with sexy Brit Mike Martin.  Finally, Ethan Axel making his BG East debut getting incredibly hot and bothered and ripped and stripped with Mason Brooks’ infatuation, Lorenzo Lowe in Gloved Gladiators 5. Amazing depth from BG East!  But of course, they aren’t the only ones putting out chart topping matches in November.  I’m wildly happy to see what Braden Charron gets up to against hot rookie Ken in Thunders Arena’s Mat Rats 29.  And I love the look of Can-Am’s Bobby Blake volunteering to get DeCrotcheried by cockmaster Jobe Zander.  And on the muscle worship scene, did you catch Steel Muscle God going flex to flex and bearhug to bearhug against fellow internet/youtube sensation Connor?  Wowza! And finally, Rock Hard Wrestling released Superstar Showdown, pitting former HWOTM Jake Jenkins squaring off against his very same tag team partner from BG East’s new release Tag Team Torture 15, goldenboy Austin Cooper.

So much quality.  So much sweat.  So many hours in November devoted to sucking the juice out of each and every one of these contenders!  But my task I’ve set for myself is to appoint only one to laud as the homoerotic wrestler of the month this time around.  And that hunk is….

Trent Blayze: 6’1″, 195 lbs

This choice catches me by surprise.  I know, I know.  It’s my choice, but still, I surprise myself sometimes.  I was all set to tap a different power hitter when I sat down to give my due diligence to Trent and Darius’ match in Muscle Madness 1.  And even then, I was really vetting Darius for the title based on his stills and what he’s managed to do to me when I’ve watched his previous matches.  And no doubt, Darius is insanely beautiful in this match.  His ass alone deserves some sort of award.  He sells like a champ.  I love me some Darius in the ring!  But holy hell, I was blown away by Trent Blayze!

Darius was always going to outmuscle Trent in above board competition.

Trent establishes character 5 seconds after climbing into the ring.  Darius extends a hand as an offer of good sportsmanship, which Trent slaps away in disgust.  Trent admires himself, flexing in the mirror and taunting his famously muscled opponent.  “Look at that! Hmmm?  What about that!”  Darius quickly steps side-by-side and demonstrates why he’s not one to challenge in a muscle comparison.  “Is this what we’re here for!” Darius smirks.  Trent is big and beautiful, don’t get me wrong.  He’s a champion sweat machine, and I’m a sucker for pools of perspiration.  But a side-by-side double bicep next to Darius?  Come on!  The arm wrestling challenge seems similarly unlikely.  The veins in Darius’ huge arms pop.  He toys with this kid briefly, then easily knocks out a right-handed victory like nothing.  Left-handed goes no better for Trent, who shows exactly what he thinks of sportsmanship by launching a sneak attack and bashing Darius’ mouthwatering muscles.

Trent looks awfully tasty from every angle!

Trent keeps leveling the playing field with cheap shots that lay Darius out cold, setting the stage for muscle man Darius to flex all those maddening muscles to power his way back on top.  Every time Darius digs deep and pumps himself back into contention, I’m stroked harder.  A few minutes in and I’m thinking this is Darius in the spotlight, not big, tattooed Southern boy Trent.  Darius’ body on offense and getting pummeled in the corner are such a feast!  But holy hell, there’s some point I can’t quite put my finger on in the middle of this match that I suddenly recognize that I’m totally infatuated with every inch of 6’1″ Trent.

That sweaty, tattooed, muscled back is so fucking HOT!

I’m pretty sure whatever that moment is, it happens when Trent’s back is to the camera, because this kid’s back is incredible.  Backs aren’t always my fixation, of course.  Often it’s a bit lower where my eyes are wandering when a wrestling stud turns his back to the camera, and Trent’s sweet, powerful ass is entirely fixation-worthy.  But no, it’s his back itself.  Big, brought, muscled, tattooed, and very quickly shining with a self-replenishing coat of sweat.  Gorgeous, simply gorgeous!

“That feels good, don’t it!?”

There’s nothing bad at all about the front, either.  He’s got an incredibly sexy way of snarling to one side, like he’s got a shaft of straw in the other side of his mouth.  And maybe it’s just Mason Brook’s warning that quiet, polite Southern boys are probably nastier than you think.  There’s both an understated quality about Trent and a deep, dangerous nastiness there, too, growling out from deep in his chest in that hot, sexy drawl.  There’s lots of “how’s that feel?  That feels good, don’t it!?”  juxtaposed against Darius mouth hanging open in silent agony.  Trent rips apart Darius’ mighty pecs fiber by fiber, digging his fingers in deep and clawing savagely.

Trent swims in his own sweat and showers a withering Darius.

There’s corner these boys turn where you know Darius is once again going down in a musclebashing feast for the eyes.  There’s another 15 minutes left, and the main course on this menu is meaty Darius getting carved up and served raw.  I was prepared to be captured by the iconic sight of a big, powerful musclestud broken to bits and wailing helplessly.  But I wasn’t prepared for how incredibly irresistible I found Trent’s work on top, maintaining the pace of this match, carrying the story forward like a bona fide heel.  He makes a seamless transition from blasting Darius’ quivering mass he calls his pecs to brutalizing the bodybuilder’s back by ripping one last pec claw while simultaneously holding Darius in a bulging OTK backbreaker.  Multitasking is so… fucking… sexy!

Bulge-beautiful, muscle torturing crucifix

The corner abuse Trent inflicts is also hot shit.  He yanks upward on Darius’ trunks, using those butt-hugging Adidas to making the muscleman climb the turnbuckles and setting him up for a bulge-beautiful, muscle torturing crucify that leaves incredibly powerful Darius suspended helplessly with his feet nearly two-feet (no shit!) off the mat.  Furious, horrified, humiliated, Darius submits repeatedly until the nasty Southern boy, sweat streaming off his body, finally releases him.

Heavily lubricated victory

Joe’s been a Trent fan since day 1, and it’s not like I’ve ever not liked what I’ve seen.  But the Southern brawler put together a look, an offense, and an attitude in his muscle crunching destruction of Darius that put me way, way over the top.  I’m on the record now and always as saying that any big, beautiful wrestler who literally pours sweat onto their humiliating opponent writhing beneath them will always have the pole position in a HWOTM competition.  Trent not only starts in pole position, he shifts my gears like nobody else this month, earning him my enthusiastic laud as neverland’s newest homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Trent’s happy to be on top!

The point of the conversation

wrestlebard3 Comments
Austin Wolf generates so much heat!

I’m closing down the comments on my post last week concerning speculation regarding masculinity and femininity in homoerotic wrestling.  My sincere attempt to try to have a conversation about the role of masculinity in today’s homoerotic wrestling scene continued to veer into persistently vague yet increasingly personal attacks on last month’s homoerotic wrestler of the month, Austin Wolf.  A comment that came through for approval last night got catty with me, pointing out that I was missing the point of the conversation, since all I was talking about was Austin’s wrestling.  I was in the middle of composing a cuttingly clever and brutally insightful retort when it suddenly occurred to me that the commenter (who’s comment won’t be published because of the ensuing character attack on Austin as a person) was actually quite correct on his first point.  Sure, it was my conversation to start with, and it’s a conversation happening on my blog, but the conversation was decisively on a point that is implicitly and explicitly off topic around here.  I was missing “the point” that one or more commenters are uninterested in saying anything about Austin’s wrestling, but fixated on remarkably non-specific but vehement charges about his quality as a gay man and human being off camera.

… and as for his potential in homoerotic wrestling…

Yeah.  I don’t “get” that conversation at all, and more pertinently, that’s not a conversation for this blog. I’ve never talked with Austin, so I can’t verify whether he’s an upstanding sort of guy who’s just pissed somebody off, or if he’s a royal, screwed up dick.  But except for the generous gentlemen who have agreed to be interviewed for neverland, that’s pretty much the state of things with all the wrestlers I review and reflect on.  This conversation, the conversation that I’ll continue to initiate and be happy to respond to, is about homoerotic wrestling, the professional homoerotic wrestling industry, and what turns me on.  Austin’s wrestling turns me on, and I continue to think that he’s got a huge potential, proportional to his massive muscles, for more chart topping homoerotic wrestling.  The rest is for some other forum.

Austin takes the only beating that I care about: in a wrestling match.

I’m composing my post appointing Austin’s successor as HWOTM.  He didn’t appear in a November homoerotic wrestling release, so Austin isn’t eligible for a back-to-back repeat.  So I’m guessing I’ll have less to say about him in the coming days, and I guarantee you won’t be seeing any further comments charging him with unspecified failures to gay humankind.  But comments about his work on the mat or his potential in the business going forward will continue to be welcomed, because that’s what we talk about around here.  And if Austin wants to join the ranks of the friends of neverland by giving me an interview (pass along the hint, people!), we’ll enjoy chatting with him about his initial forays into homoerotic wrestling. Period.  Until then, let’s move on and get back to “the” conversation.

I hope to see those tree trunks wrapped around many, many more heads!

…So Let’s Keep Rocking and Rolling

wrestlebard3 Comments
Not long after my recent post describing exactly what Blaine Janus and Mason Brooks did to me in their intensely sexy Gazebo Grapplers 14 throw down, I found this snapshot in my inbox along with this adorable note:
“Just wanted to say thanks for the nice write-up
 and I’m glad you enjoyed watching the match
as much as I enjoyed filming it! – Mason”
After licking my computer screen a few times, I quickly replied, and using my famous powers of persuasion (which admittedly involve a whole lot of sincere flattery), I got Mason to agree to chat with me a bit about being one of the new kids on the BG East block.  In some ways, the interview that follows picks up right where my interview with Ben Monaco left off yesterday.  Young Mason had me rolling on the floor in laughter one minute and then needing to rearrange my crotch the next minute with his razor sharp wit and extremely sexy insights into how he approaches launching an on-camera homoerotic wrestling career.  So let me be the first to introduce you to this sultry, sexy, suprisingly sinister Southern boy who, I predict, very well could take BG East by storm.
Bard: Fantastic to hear from you, Mason! And damn, boy, really, really thanks for the photo! If you enjoyed filming that match even half as much as I enjoyed watching it, I hope you had a few days to rehydrate because you and Blaine certainly wore me out. Can I share your pic on the blog? And can I start peppering you with questions “on the record?”

Mason Brooks: 5’9″, 150 lbs.

Mason: [Laughing] Please, feel free to share. I am getting in touch with my inner exhibitionist. And I’d be happy to answer your questions.

Bard: You’ve definitely got to let that inner exhibitionist out. A lot! Consider us on the record, and talk to me about your nipples (which is something I’ve never said in an interview before!). Blaine cannot keep his hands off of them. Ben Monaco privately commented to me that your nipples are “to die for.” Ben’s words were, “I know it. He knows it. That’s where he’s going to get his fans.” And I have to tell you, you’ve got seriously hot nips! What sort of “gay wrestling catnip” do you use on them to turn us all on like that!?

Mason: Well, gee, this is a first for me as well. It’s funny, aside from the piercing, which obviously gets a fair amount of attention, I’ve never thought of my nipples as a standout attribute of mine. I mean, maybe my hair, my smile, my eyes–the list goes on, as you might imagine. I guess all those dips and push-ups while watching Honey Boo Boo this summer paid off. Seriously, though, if everyone is as taken with them as Mr. Monaco, I think I’m set. He really couldn’t help himself all weekend. Not that I’m complaining, of course. If a little nipple-tweaking was my BG East initiation, I guess I got off easy. It is strange, though, that they seem to have such an effect on Canadians. It was chilly that weekend, and the cold air does seem to perk those boys up. Sort of like my nips.  Not sure about the gay wrestling catnip (although that sounds like something I need in my stocking this Christmas). Actually, just a little neosporin now and then to keep the piercing in working order, especially if someone’s had his, umm, hands all over it.

Blaine had his… hands… all over Mason’s nips.

Bard: There’s just so much material there in your answer that I’m almost speechless. Almost. So yes, let me just confirm that I’m in a growing line of guys who clearly find your nipples extremely alluring. Next, please let me also confirm that your hair, smile, and eyes are also very, very attractive, but I’ll be damned if there’s a BG East fan who’ll rip his eyes away from your hot pecs to say much more about your eyes. And finally, I’m profoundly disturbed to recognize within myself that the image of you doing dips and push-ups while watching Honey Boo Boo just completely gave me wood. My therapist and I are going to have a lot to talk about next week…. But dragging myself back on topic… as I mentioned in my review of your match with Blaine, you certainly caught me off guard. I was totally expecting to see an earnest, babyface-in-wrestling-singlet bound to be another naive rook about to be awakened to the dark truth of homoerotic wrestling at the hands of a master. Then like a cruise missile you almost instantly locked Blaine down, completely immobilized him, and went straight for a crotch claw. There’s no way in hell you’ll convince me that that was your first dance, Mason! That was an accomplished hand that so confidently, simultaneously crushed Blaine’s testicles and worked him into a drooling lather. Where have you wrestled before, and how much will I pay to see your rip-n-strip archives?

Mason sees what’s he wants and goes for it.

Mason: Okay, I must confess, this was not my first dance. I’ve done my fair share of wrestling, in and out of a singlet, and learned the ropes, as they say. None on video, unfortunately. As far as I know….  But maybe, just maybe, I enjoy it when people see my cute, innocent face and underestimate me. I think it gives me an advantage when I surprise them with my skills.  More than that, though, I’m the kind of guy who sees what he wants and goes for it. You saw him, parading his freckled cheeks around in that little see-through number.  how could I not pounce on that? Yeah, if anyone thought I was a pushover, they were in for a rude awakening.

Bard: You, my new friend, are one seriously devious little devil! I’d love to get Blaine’s take on this, but my impression is just that: he completely underestimated you. I strongly suspect that your (now) obviously misleading shy grin and a strong resemblance to Edward Norton could throw plenty of opponents off stride right around the time that you rip them apart at the crotch and claw their balls with abandon. In light of the horrific tragedy that your earlier wrestling in/out of a singlet was not captured on video, I hope BG East signed you up for many more matches to come. Having toyed, dangerously, with fluorescent blue-eyed, freckle faced, horny-toad Blaine, have you seen anything else at BG East that you hope to “go for” in the future?

“Gabriel Ross is lucky I had a plane to catch…”

Mason: You know, I’ll gladly take on (and take down) whomever they want to throw at me. Christian, Skip, Len, Lorenzo–I think all those boys need to get a taste, and I’m ready to give it to ’em, any time. The big muscleboys–gosh, I can never keep all their names straight–they don’t scare me either. And Gabriel Ross is lucky I had a plane to catch, or he would have been next on my list. I don’t care how much he bulked up, that little wanker would have ended up with a faceful of my balls. Though I’m not sure how mean I could be to him–that smile is pretty killer. As it happens, all I got to do was hug him goodbye. And cop a feel, of course.

Bard: I really, really like the sound of hotties like Lorenzo Lowe getting “thrown” at you. It makes me picture you in the ring with boys flying off the ropes, and I hope we see you in the ring soon. And as for muscleboys, I suspect that with the performance you posted against Blaine and the smack talk you’re laying down here, there could be some big muscleboys eager to get their hands on your pecs and/or your balls in their face. Personally, I’d like to take up a collection to buy Gabriel a ticket back just to see how “that little wanker” would fare in the matroom against you. It would be like a battle of the angelic babyface badboys, which sounds like a fantastic theme for a collection of matches! So if you were ever to find yourself sleepered out cold at the end of another sweaty, raunchy barnburner like you suffered at the hands of Blaine Janus, who would you prefer to wake up with his tongue shoved down your throat: Lorenzo Lowe, Ben Monaco, or Kid Karisma? In other words, twink, hunk, or muscleboy?

“Lorenzo sounds mighty nice.”

Mason: Hmmm, twink, hunk or muscleboy.  Is that like boff, marry, kill? It all depends on my mood, I suppose. (Sometimes you feel like a nut, and all that, right?) I wouldn’t kick any of those boys out of the ring for eating crackers, but right now I must be in a twink mood, because Lorenzo sounds mighty nice. Of course, he’d be the one getting sleepered out and waking up to me on top of him…

Lorenzo’s tongue ALSO seems irresistibly drawn toward Mason’s pecs (photo courtesy of Ben Monaco).

Bard: Well I saw a certain behind the scenes shot from Ben where you were sitting next to Lorenzo sans any pants, and you were sporting an awfully pleased grin on your face. I’m now officially advocating to see that grin on your face in a match with Lorenzo as he groggily rouses from your sleeper finisher to find your lips descending over his. Speaking of boff, marry, kill: Justin Bieber, Justin Theroux, and Justin Timberlake?

Boff. Marry. Kill.

Mason: Oh fun! Okay, first of all, my well-documented affection for Canadian boys notwithstanding, I would kill Justin Bieber, no question. Although I suspect that in a couple years, once the screaming girls have moved on and he’s still spindly and pale and the wrong side of 25, some combination of drugs and alcohol will do the job for me. Justin Timberlake’s never done that much for me, personally, but I guess I’d give him a whirl in bed. Don’t think I could marry him, though. His fashion sense irks me too much. (Ooh, you’re wearing a tweed vest and a fedora? Neato.) So that leaves Justin Theroux to marry, which sounds about right. I mean, if he’s good enough for the co-star of “Leprechaun,” he’s good enough for me. Nah, I’m kidding, he’s hot, I think we’d hit it off. As long as he’s into wrestling, that is. He seems like an interesting guy, but very serious. Eventually I’d get tired of exploring our feelings and I’d need to give those abs a working over. Wouldn’t that make a great tabloid headline? “Jen’s Heartbreak: Justin Caught with Wrestling Boy-toy.” Oh well, a boy-toy can dream….

Another wicked smart wrestling hunk:
Lon Dumont

Bard: I couldn’t agree with you more on all counts. And I can start that Justin Theroux rumor and see where it leads… never know. Damn, he’s hot. So you’ve got good hair, gorgeous pecs, magical nipples, AND insanely insightful taste in men? Damn, you’re going far! Did you have the opportunity to meet a long-standing favorite infatuation of mine when you were in Pembroke: Lon Dumont? I think you two would hit it off. You both seem particularly quick-witted and self-reflective. And he’s a god in the wrestling ring, so you can’t go wrong chumming up to Lon! Wrestling + smarts = Bard-is-infatuated. What haven’t you done yet in homoerotic wrestling that you’re itching to try out? Any particular moves, venues, gear, etc?

Mason: I did meet Lon Dumont, but just briefly. I think he was pretty busy in the ring, and I may have been headed to wash Blaine out of my hair (figuratively speaking, of course). Sounds like I should get to know him, though. I could always use a few pointers in the ring to add to my skills on the mat. What am I itching to try? You know, I’m always open to new things, especially if they make my butt look good. So, I dunno…rip and strip, oil, mud, jello? See, now I’m getting hungry. Oh, and I probably shouldn’t say too much, but it’s possible that in my next match we’ll get a little…wet?

Mail your boxes of Jello c/o Mason Brooks to:
BG East, PO Box 172, Pembroke, MA 02359

Bard: I hope you had help in the shower! Yeah, I think you and Lon could make for a very dangerous combination. If you two got your heads together, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that there’s been a major coup at BG East with you two running the show. And as for what we should expect next from you, I LOVE the sound of “wet!” And I’m even crazier for the words “oil, mud, and jello.” How incredibly old school sexy of you! I know a whole lot of wrestling fans who would blow a gasket for a rip-n-strip jello wrestling match, or a classic oil wrestling throw down. I think the time has come for those vintage genres to come back in vogue as retro-chic, and I love that you’re ready to be at the front of that line. But really, is there anything that doesn’t make your butt look good? So I think you know that I’ve also recently interviewed Ben Monaco, and Ben referred to you as “quiet and polite” to the point of being eligible to be an honorary Canadian. Has he ever actually met you?! I mean, sure, maybe you’re a little more reserved in person that you have been during this interview, but seriously… honorary Canadian!? Are you stringing him along, playing coy, in order to blow him away on the mats? Is this some sinister master plan building off of that dimple in your cheek and twinkle in your eye to lull another potential opponent into underestimating you?

Has Ben even met Mason!?

Mason: Honorary Canadian, huh? That would be quite an honor. I like hockey, beer, and flannel, and I know “O Canada” in English and French–still working on Inuktitut–so I think I’m halfway there already. I just hope the initiation ceremony involves Tyler Seguin shirtless and lots of maple syrup. As for quiet and polite, I can see how people assume that when they first meet me. I like to size up a room first, see who I’m dealing with. And hey, if people assume I’m innocent and harmless, that’s their problem. Plus I’m from the south, so yeah, probably I do have some manners deep down inside, along with a knack for making killer fried chicken. But I’m not so polite on the mat, as Mr. Monaco ought to know by now.

Bard: I’m adding “maple syrup” to the list of media within which you should wrestle. And it sounds like you’re more than halfway to Canuck-hood, eh? What part of the South are you from, and what percentage of the time that you wrestled with Ben did he spend sucking on your nipples?

Just like wrestling the pig farmer’s son!

Mason: I’m from a rural part of Virginia, where I’m pretty sure some folks are still fighting the Civil War. Very pretty country, but not much to do, unless you wanna wrestle a pig. On the other hand, sometimes you get into the Wild Turkey and end up wreslin’ the pig farmer’s son behind the barn. And that ain’t so bad. What else? Oh, right, nipples. Always with the nipples. As I recall, there was more pinching and tweaking going on than sucking, but it’s all a blur. A thoroughly enjoyable blur. Perhaps Mr. Monaco has a more vivid recollection, or maybe he was just daydreaming about the things he’d like to do with my sweaty chest.

Bard: You make pig farmer wrestling sound hotter than I’d ever have guessed! Ben was entirely mum about any activities you may have gotten up to. The nipple sucking was just my wishful thinking, though perhaps I’ve seeded the ground for future opponents you might face. I can hope. Well, Mr. Brooks, I’m convinced that we will be seeing a lot more of you in the future, based on your debut in Gazebo Grapplers 14 and your readiness to face all comers and all viscous substances. I predict that you’re going to have a big fan club, starting with nipple-obsessed Canadians and jello wrestling fans, but quickly branching out from there. Is there anything else you’d like to say to BG East fans who are about to discover that they’re Mason Brooks fanatics?

Quiet, polite, Southern boys:
probably nastier than you think.

Mason: Yeah, in the immortal words of Dirk Diggler, I’ll keep trying if you keep trying so let’s keep rocking and rolling. (Sweet jeebus, I loved that movie.) Seriously, though, I just hope the fans out there enjoy watching my matches as much as I enjoy making them, ’cause the whole experience was a blast, and I can’t wait to do it again. Oh, and watch out for quiet, polite, Southern boys–they’re probably nastier than you think.

Bard: True story: Boogie Nights is one of Lon Dumont’s favorite flicks. I kid you not. I’ve already seen quite a bit of chatter that fans are lining up for more of Mason Brooks, so we’re going to do our part. And personally, I’m hoping that there are plenty of hunks at BG East who will decidedly not take your advice about watching out for polite, quiet Southern boys, because I can’t wait to see the look of shock on their faces when you let loose. This was a true pleasure getting to chat with you! Thanks for your time, and I hope we can do this again. I’m strongly convinced that you could go very, very far in this business, and I’m not just saying that because of your entrancing nipples.

Mason: The pleasure was mine, and thank you so much for the kind words. The nipples and I are flattered.

Mason Brooks and his nipples.

Upperclassman

wrestlebardLeave a comment
I’ve marveled here already about the first two in the truly fantastic collection of BG East matches in their latest release in the Gazebo Grapplers series.  The marquee match pits Mr. Rush’s little trust fund baby, Damien Rush (looking hunkier than ever) against Canadian sex-bomb and friend of this blog, Ben Monaco.  Ben graciously sat down with me to talk about his latest outing for BG East and speculate about all sorts of hot topics concerning homoerotic wrestling.
Ben Monaco: 5’10”, 175 pounds, 100% Canadian

Bard: Ben, thank you for agreeing to another interview for the homoerotic wrestling fans at neverland. And I want to publicly and directly thank you again for all of the juicy behind the scenes news and candid pics you shared with us from the taping you did for BG East in September. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: You rock! And speaking of you rocking and that September hunk-fest in Pembroke, am I right in guessing that your most recent match for Gazebo Grapplers 14 against gorgeous trust fund baby Damien Rush was filmed at that time?

Just a little of the eye candy at BG East

Ben: My pleasure Bard! As always, you are too kind with your compliments. I’m more than happy to give the fans my behind-the-scenes look at things, having been (and still being) a homoerotic wrestling fan myself. My match with Damien was filmed during that hunk-filled weekend, you are correct. There definitely was a lot of eye-candy around during that shoot!

Bard: That’s twice in just the past few days that someone has accused me of being too kind in my compliments. I don’t think you appreciate how much I appreciate you, your insights into the homoerotic wrestling business, and your extremely hot wrestling. Speaking of which, your match with Damien was incredible! Tell me exactly, in every prurient detail, what was going through your head when Mr. Rush’s son came strutting into the Gazebo in those skin tight, royal purple trunks and his designer shades looking (though I’d have never believed it if I didn’t see it) even hotter than he did when he got squashed and stripped by Morgan Cruise last spring?

Which celebrity most resembles Damien Rush?

Ben: Well, I knew I was going to be facing off with some punk. At least the Boss sent me a hot looking one. He did look at least 10 times better than his match with Morgan, I’ll give him that. One way or another, I knew that I’d have some fun with that body of his, win or lose.  I also kept trying to figure out who he reminded me of. There’s a vague resemblance to a celebrity but I couldn’t put my finger on which one. Am I crazy?

Bard: I’m sure you’re not crazy. Damien’s definitely got the face of a leading man, but I can’t put my finger on it either. We’ll have to make this a contest on the blog to identify which celebrity hunk Damien resembles most. Although you can’t put your finger on whom he looks like, you certainly did a truly inspired job of getting your hands all over Damien’s hot and hairy bod! And holy shit, when you snatched his shades off his face and made that stunning little rich boy literally whine, I nearly popped my cork before the action even started. Same for when you rip his trunks off of him – the panic in his voice suggests that this trust fund baby is entirely unaccustomed to getting his possessions forcibly removed. Was there a particular moment in this match that was hottest for you?

A good bicep really gets Ben going

Ben: He did have a whiny way about him didn’t he? Despite that, I did enjoy feeling every inch of his hairy body pressed up against mine. Favorite moment…definitely has to be the part where I ended up licking and kissing his bicep. I’m an arm-man. A good bicep really gets me going and Damien has quite the set of guns on him! Could certainly feel some other parts of MY body awakened in that moment…I mean who wouldn’t want to get their mouth on that slab of meat (among his many slabs of meat to choose from, the man is a muscle deli).

Damien can gladly park his ass
anywhere on Ben’s body.

Bard: What a beautiful way you have with words! You should blog. Seriously. And that moment when you’ve taken a serious pounding – you’re looking a little worn thin from getting repeatedly pec smothered deep in Damien’s hairy chest – and he barks at you to kiss his muscles… that’s truly an iconic homoerotic wrestling moment, I think. Were you surprised by that turn in the action? I didn’t know Damien had it in him to possess a longing for an oral muscle worship session. And then that finish, with his thonged/bare ass planted across your face… I’m swooning just a little replaying the scene in my head right now! Tell me you were holding on to enough consciousness to describe the view!

Ben: Thanks, I might just take you up on that…I could use a blog. For now, I’m content to tweet from time to time but I might venture into blogging if I have some more spare time in the new year. Damien may not have the most skills on the mat, but his continued smotherings in his sculpted physique distracted me a bit from my own skills I think. With his flexed bicep rubbed up against my face, I think I completely forgot how to wrestle. Then the ass…well, those glutes truly are a thing of beauty. Especially from the angle I was in, I got to see just how broad he was from below. Next time we meet, he can gladly park that ass anywhere he wants on my body.

Ben nearly rips Damien’s head off his neck.

Bard: I’ll link to your Twitter account here so that your neverland fans can follow you if they aren’t already. Let us know if you start blogging, because I’m first in line to follow you. I think any sane wrestling fan would forgive you for being distracted by how… intently… Damien crushed your face into his body over and over again. Hell, any sane homoerotic wrestling fan is insanely jealous! However I don’t want to give anyone the impression that this match is all about muscle worship and bicep licking. The wrestling in this match is wildly hot and majorly intense! There are moments there where I swear you’re going to rip his skull off his neck or, alternately, rip his balls from his body. With a battle that gets this heated on camera, what’s it like when they turn off the cameras and you’re sitting there in a pool of sweat with this guy who you were moments ago making scream like a whiny bitch in a spine-snapping camel clutch, or who seconds earlier had his gorgeous, bare ass planted across your face?

Ben: It actually was quite strange but I think we gained respect for each other after tearing each other apart. There was a certain chemistry bewteen us before and after the match. Who knows, perhaps a tag-team match could happen in the future.  It’ll be up to the fans to petition the Boss to see us as a tag-team I guess. Could be fun, I’d certainly be open to it. With our combined skills and muscle, we’d be pretty fierce together I think. We’d have to think up a fantastic tag-team name though.

Sex and Candy?

Bard: I’ll lobby for that tag team pairing, and I’m first on the record to vote for the tag team name, “Sex and Candy.” You’d make a blazingly hot duo in the ring! I’m picturing Damien holding them down and you feeling them up. Watch that ego of his, though. I don’t know if the concept of “sharing” was ever something this Damien’s nannies ever taught him, so trying to share the limelight with him could be dangerous. So tell me some more about the rest of the cast of dizzyingly hot eye candy that was on hand in September. You’ve told me privately that the outrageously hunky newbie that made jaws hit the floor was, indeed, Pete Sharp who also appears on Gazebo Grapplers 14. Can you name any more names for us regarding who got your heart pumping behind the scenes?

Ben: Sex and Candy! Love it! Oh trust me, I could convince him to share. Among my other talents, I can be quite persuasive in the right situations. You pretty much know all the guys who were there by now, I think I’ve told you all the names and such in that e-mail I sent you. However, one guy that I was very upset I missed was Braden Charron who showed up the day AFTER I left! I’d have killed to meet him in person and probably commit even more unspeakable acts to get a match with him. But I guess he’ll be on my hit list for another BG East session. Aside from that weekend, I did introduce two new hunks to BG East recently as well who should be making their BG debuts in the near future. And Bard, I think you know from candid pics I sent that these are two big, hot, hairy hunks. But don’t spoil the surprise right away by posting the pics I sent you.

Bard: I’m the paragon of discretion. And possibly blackmail as well, so we can discuss later what I’ll get for restraining myself from showing neverland readers the studs that you’ve recruited into the BG East ranks. Talk about jaw dropping! If there one thing that I’ve learned from our exchanges over the past few months, it’s that you’ve got an incredibly skilled eye for spotting hot wrestling talent. You also mentioned to me that there was a particular slice of rookie gold who had nipples that drove you insane in September, and I believe I’m correct in identifying said magically nippled newbie as Mason Brooks who also debuts on Gazebo 14. This is one stud-packed collection of matches! What was adorable young Mason like off camera, because on camera, he was a fucking wildcat going up against your fellow Canuck, Blaine Janus?

Nipples to make a man salivate: Mason Brooks

Ben: Of course Bard, you are a true gentleman! Indeed, you can’t tell too much from the photos, but Mason certainly has nipples that can make a man salivate. Trust me! He’s actually really quiet and polite off camera. I’m almost on the verge of making him an honorary Canadian for those virtuous qualities! His wilder side does come out on the mats for sure. We’ve kept in touch actually since that weekend. In fact, he texted me yesterday night and told me you were also planning an interview with him. So I guess you’ll have more rookie-perspective on BG East and all the goings-on behind the scenes. To add to what you said, yes Gazebo Grapplers 14 is really a fantastic video. The Boss really knows how to combine matches into a product that has something for everyone on it. I guess that’s why he’s the Boss after all!

Bard: It’s absolutely true, I’ve got Mason on the line for an upcoming rookie interview. You don’t have to convince me about his nipples. He sent me a close-up shot of his torso, and ooo-baby! Dial me up some fun! Blaine also made note of Mason’s lovely nipples in their match, as well, so clearly the boy has got some sweet morsels there that are attracting a lot of attention. Was this round of taping for BG East different for you this time, now that you’re one of the guys who’s been there before? Was there any difference in what it was like for you in action or behind the scenes now that you’re no longer a newbie? Play any upperclassmen pranks on the brand new rookies?

Ben: Well first off, yes it was different. I was in Pembroke, gay-wrestling Mecca if you will. Plus there were about 3 times more guys in the house than my last session in Florida. In action, the feeling was still the same: nerves, excitement, heart pounding, blood racing. Off camera I tried to be as welcoming to the newbies as I could. After all, I know what it’s like being the new kid in town. We all did our best to make the new “kids” welcome. Of course, some are my age or older but since they’re newer than me, I consider new guys “kids.” No pranks this time, but perhaps the next time around now that I think of it…

Bard: It sounds like there’s a great deal of camaraderie when BG East pulls together crowds of wrestlers like that. I interviewed Ken Canada who was a classic jobber from very early in the BG East days who talked about the good vibe both on camera and off, and friendships that endured even after shooting was over. It sounds like that sort of esprit de corps still exists. What do you think accounts for you all in the “business” of homoerotic wrestling building real friendships like that? I could imagine it wouldn’t “have” to turn out that way, some boys just punching the clock, some boys being egomaniacal dicks, etc. But you seem to be part of some seriously sweet community building out of these shoots.

BG East boys play hard off camera (photo via Kid Karisma)

Ben: It is very much a little community. When I was in Florida for my first shoot, there was a BG veteran Scott Williams who just happened to be visiting Florida and stopped in to check out what was going down on our shoot. Anyone who’s met Scott knows he’s a big kid at heart. Naturally, Scott and I were instant buds. We went out for supper a few nights and on random food runs for the gang too. One night at supper, Scott simply said “I’m so happy you’re part of the family!” which indeed is true. Once you’re part of BG East, once your first match is taped, it’s like being part of a family. That shared experience and bond bring us together. It’s never about big grudges off camera, it’s often good natured boys-being-boys friendship. On the mats of course, it becomes a bit more serious, but off camera there are lots of laughs and good times.

Bard: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Scott Williams as in Ultra Fight 2 Scott Williams!? Tall, lean, hairy chested, devastatingly handsome Scott Williams who could milk every ounce of agony out of a hold like absolutely no one else!? Scott Williams, who, after I saw him wrestle in Ultra Fight 2, shocked me to realize that I’d kick young Brad Rochelle to the curb to get my hands on his fantastically hairy pecs and nibble on that leading-man chin of his?! You’re now instant buds with that Scott Williams!? So as a new BG East wrestler you just run chores and sit around shooting the breeze with guys who have permanent positions in my pantheon of homoerotic wrestling god infatuations? My mind was just blown to bits. What an incredibly hot fraternity/family you guys comprise!

Ben: Indeed, THAT Scott Williams! It is a little bit of a mind-blowing situation when you first enter the “family”. You become friends and stay in touch with this plethora of hot guys you fantasized about for what seems like your whole life. I mean, it still boggles my mind that I have Cameron Matthews’ cell phone number and a year ago I didn’t even exist in the gay-wrestling scene. BG East really is a welcoming place for all its wrestlers and that’s why I really encourage people to work for them if they have the chance. We’re always looking to expand the family with hot new guys.

Bard: I know some Cam fans who’d do some naughty things to you to get that phone number! Hell, I’d do naughty things to get Scott Williams’ phone number. Oh, who am I kidding? I’d do naughty things just for the fun of doing naughty things to you. Since I know for a fact that you’re actively and successfully recruiting new studs for the stable, what do you think are some essential qualifications for joining the family? I’m guessing the physical demands alone aren’t something that just anyone could jump right into.

Ben: You wouldn’t be the first to want to do naughty things to me and you’re surely not going to be the last [laughing]. As far as joining the ranks of BG East, no matter what I think of a guy, the final decision always comes down to Kid Leopard and/or Kid Vicious. I know they have their own demands and criteria when it comes to their selection of men. As for me, what I tend to look for is a love or interest in wrestling at the very least. From there, I specifically try to hone in on looks or types of guys that aren’t already present in the active roster on BG East. Why would I try to recruit another Skip Vance? There’s already one! I try to find something completely new and original in either style or personailty. Plus, if I can imagine myself hitting the mats with a guy, he’s already got a head start. And as for experience levels, if the guy is relatively new, I certainly don’t mind sacrificing some time to train privately with him…as was the case with my two recruits…one of which is my personal trainer.

Doing naughty things with Ben Monaco

Bard: I’m certain that I’m in a long line of guys thinking about what naughty things to do with you! Since you brought it up, I’ll just say that I’ve seen a photo of your personal trainer, and I’m breathless in anticipation of seeing him wrestle! I love your approach to thinking about looking for wrestlers who bring something new and original to the scene. That’s one thing that I think BG East does possibly better than anyone else – recruit a broad variety of wrestlers across all sorts of measures, including appearance, wrestling experience, and personality. So as always you’ve been incredibly generous with your time in taking my questions again. Now that we’ve grown to know more about you in the past 6 months, what’s one more thing that fans may not yet know about you that you can tell us? Is there one more little personal detail that you can share with us to satisfy our fixations on a new wrestling fantasyman?

Ben: Always happy to take the time out for an interview with you. Now for one last little detail…hmmm…well, I guess a personal detail that I can share is that I’m single [winks]. But I suppose it’s also worth mentioning, more on the wrestling side of things, that my two recruits only have one match under their belts as of now and are itching to get even more. My trainer especially is looking for someone big enough and man enough to toss him around. Keep in mind, he’s 5’11” and 195lbs of solid, hairy beef.

Bard: Well I hope you’re single because you chose to be, because otherwise, that’s just bat shit crazy. Next interview, we’ll have to explore in more detail what qualifications it would take to get your hot ass off the market. Just to make neverland readers hate me a little (more?), let me point out that I’m looking at a photo of your personal trainer right now and swooning… a lot. However, I will honor your request not to post this photo of one of the meatiest, muscliest, hairiest cuts of prime beef I’ve seen flexing in a long, long time. I hope you’ll keep us posted about your ongoing adventures in homoerotic wrestling and recruiting. I’m following you on Twitter, and I’m crossing my fingers, hoping you start blogging on your adventures soon!

Ben: I will try to start up a blog ASAP. For now, time for me to get my winter boots out! It’s snowing here in Montreal! Have a good one Bard and we’ll talk again soon.

Ben beats the cold with memories of hot times at BG East!

Man Enough

wrestlebard11 Comments

Our Google overlords bless us with a fickle blogger interface that frequently leaves me cursing.  Typically, I think, the frustration is almost entirely on my side of the computer screen. Occasionally, however, it seems to impact neverland readers.  One reader has repeatedly pointed out that the automatic program for verifying that people who attempt to comment are, indeed, human beings, can sometimes present such blurry and obscure text to try to decipher that it’s nearly impossible.  Sorry for that. I wish I had some control over those things.  I also recently discovered that someone attempted twice to post a comment on a recent session of gushing of mine over reigning (for one more day) homoerotic wrestler of the month, Austin Wolf.

Austin Wolf not masculine?

I approved the comment, after some pause, however I don’t see it anywhere on the blog itself.  It’s in my “approved comments” list, but doesn’t show up in any post I can find.  The pause came because I’ve been rejecting comments lately that seem to me to be bitchy criticisms of wrestlers’ bodies or personalities.  Too fat.  Too skinny.  Not butch enough.  I know that a lot of the homoerotic wrestlers I write about also read this blog, and I don’t want them reading that crap.  But I went ahead and approved this comment that referred to Austin as “sexy enough, if only he weren’t so femme in person…. He is not nearly as masculine as the image he is trying to portray,” the commenter reported.  There’s just so much there to think about.  Setting aside my first question, “when have you seen him in person?” and my second question, “isn’t every expression of masculinity (or femininity) an image, a mere portrayal, or as Judith Butler has called it, a “performance?”  Whatever.  So Austin isn’t as masculine in person as he seems to appear on camera.  I guess my real question is, so what?

Rusty Stevens: masculine enough for you?

Now I’m not trying to take this commenter to task.  At all, really.  I approved the post because it provoked me to think deeper about masculinity in homoerotic wrestling.  I mean, sure, hypermasculinity is a pretty well-worn trope on our scene, so I would be entirely unsurprised to discover that any number of the meanest, baddest, most dominatingly butch heels in homoerotic wrestling history are, in their personal lives, light in the loafers and sassy as blown glass.  I don’t care what they may get up to on their own time, I might say.  Just tell me that powerful story of domination and submission, power and suffering, agony and arousal that I love so much, and what do I care how far from the mark that wrestling persona is to how they act when their sipping apple martinis at the piano bar?

Xavier: Does body hair make the man?  Big muscles?  Facial hair?

But even that isn’t really where I settled with this comment about the purported incongruity between Austin’s presentation of masculinity on and off camera.  No, I found myself challenged by the idea of masculinity itself.  We’re clearly not in a post-gender age, of course, but as for me (and I’ll speak solely for myself here), I’m not sure I’ve got the clearest hold on what comprises the polar opposites of masculinity and femininity as far as homoerotic wrestling goes.  I know of big, burly muscle bear-looking bruisers who snarl and spit and I think, hot damn, that’s one hot bit of masculine hunkiness!  But if the same burly bear wears a pink cardi and giggles like a girl when Glee comes on, I’m still fully prepared to objectify him as a no-holds-barred object of my lust.

Lon Dumont: Smooth as a baby’s bottom and over-the-top masculine in the ring.

And there are relatively petite, smooth, boyishly beautiful wrestlers who wink and grin, and when slam an opponent into the turnbuckle or bash him across his knee in an over the knee backbreaker, I think, hot damn, that’s one hot bit of masculine hunkiness!  Deep bass Boston voices.  High pitched Southern accents.   Pretty in pink.  Dangerous in black.  Go-go-boy.  Construction worker.  Limp wrist.  Football fan.  Facial hair.  Man-scaped.  Do they have a cock and tell me a hot, hot wrestling story?  I’m in.

Damien Rush was quoted recently as saying, “Let me smother you with all my masculine hair!”

So if Austin Wolf cracks an opponent’s spine over his knee, claws his crotch mercilessly, then schoolboy pins the punk with his big, gorgeous cock slapping the loser’s cheeks back and forth, and then gets up, showers off with 5 different skin care products and quotes Bette Davis movies over cosmos with all the rest of the girls… well, fuck.  It just occurred to me that I think that’s even HOTTER!

Tell me again how I’m not masculine enough for you, bitch!

Homoerotic wrestling likely reifies stereotypes of masculinity (and, by default, femininity) in many, many ways.  But I think, and I hope, that it blurs some of the old standby stereotypes as well.  I like the idea that the same mass of 6’4″ sculpted muscle can threaten to rip an opponent’s head off in a camel clutch and the next day sing along with show tunes in the car as he goes antiquing with his gurl-friends. I harbor a deep seated and not at all sublimated sexual fantasy of the rise of the muscle sculpted sissies who may be as pretty as a prima donna, but will fuck you up in a heartbeat in the ring.  Maybe I’m too old.  Or too young.  Or just don’t have the good taste to want to cling to the sharp, clean lines of gender stereotypes any longer.  But even if Austin Wolf were a flaming queen, he’d drain me dry time and time again as long as he racks another wasted loser across those mile wide shoulders of his.  Hell, I’d pay a premium, in fact!

Ask Hoop right about  now if Austin is masculine enough for him.