The Ring Bunny

I’ve posted a new piece of juicy pro wrestling fiction from Alex in his AWL series over at the Sidelineland fiction group.  It’s another Daring Danny Chase story, so I know of several fans of Daring Danny that will particularly brighten to hear this news.  Alex is taking us into some new territory, including some twisted kink that even disturbs me just a little (not much… but a little).  I use the word “disturb,” however it’s not like “AWL: The Ring Bunny” failed to completely turn me on and get my heart pumping hard.  Alex just has that way about him!  It’s just that “ring bunny” character that throws me…

I’ve commented in the past that I’m not sure Danny is the brightest bulb in the lamp, which got me into some hot water with fans taking me to task for calling Danny dumb.  For the record, I don’t think Danny’s dumb.  I do think he’s a beautiful work of fiction, however, so unless Alex writes the results of an IQ test into a future story, we may never really know any objective measure of Danny’s intelligence. His common sense, however, is occasionally seriously impaired (c’mon, you gotta give me that!), and that weakness is once again the foundation for Danny to encounter a challenge like he’s never faced before, not entirely limited to the seriously pissed off 6’1″, 250-lbs mountain of muscle bearing down on him.

So sure.  Perhaps we just haven’t seen Danny’s brainy side.  This snapshot of his life and career from the early 80’s world of pro wrestling is hardly a study in his intellectual capacity as much as it is a recognition that when you’re gorgeous as hell and built like a gym-bunny pro wrestler, the calls for you to produce your SAT scores are understandably limited.  Whether I’m too hard on lovely Danny (and trust me, I could get a lot harder!) as I speculate about his intelligence, I’m entirely on board with his many fans who find his pro-wrestling-turned-kink-wrestling stories damn hot!  Nice work as always, Alex!

Drake Is Just Getting Started

I love it when BG East fans turn the corner and become BG East wrestlers!  For one thing, I think they’ve got a leg up in already knowing the scene.  A wrestler who arrives already knowing the story of the epic heel turn of Brad Rochelle, for example, is immediately starting off at an entirely different level in speaking to me as a fan, I think.  But even more, a new wrestler who has been a long-time fan has a greater chance of already knowing about fan blogs like this one.  Case in point: BG East rookie x-fighter, Drake Marcos.  Well before his debut release in X-Fights 34, I caught sight of sexy Drake in a behind-the-scenes pic off off Kid Karisma’s blog post about the September taping in Pembroke.  Young Drake caught my eye, sandwiched so tightly between big, burly bear Red Baron and blond, blue-eyed Canuck, Blaine Janus.  I gushed a bit here at neverland, speculating on what this handsome young hottie might bring with him as a newbie to the scene.  Little did I know that Drake not only follows BG East as an avid fan, he also reads neverland!  He reached out and thanked me for the shout out.  One thing led to another, and of course I talked BG East’s newest x-fighter into giving me an interview.  I had no idea the auspicious location he was in when we chatted, and another surprise I had, once I had Drake on the line, was how fast time flies when chatting with him.  He likes to talk about all things homoerotic and wrestling every bit as much as I do, and you and I both know that’s saying a whole, whole lot!  So here’s the transcript of my extensive chat with the cheshire cat of BG East’s rookie line up in Catalog 96.  For your viewing and reading pleasure, let me introduce Drake Marcos
Drake Marcos: 5’10”, 155 lbs, damn happy to wrestle for BG East!

Bard: So, Drake Marcos, it’s a great pleasure to meet you! On behalf of BG East fans, welcome into our wrestling fantasies! If I’m not mistaken, you’re the handsome stud sandwiched between Blaine Janus and Alan aka Red Baron in one of Kid Karisma’s pics that he posted on his blog in September. How does it feel with your debut release just out, to have joined the elite ranks of BG East wrestlers?

Drake first appeared here at neverland as that unnamed hottie between Blaine Janus and Red Baron

Drake: Pleasure to meet you as well, Bard! And you’re far too kind! I am the fresh face from KK’s blog. That shot was taken before heading out to the airport after a whirlwind week of shooting at the fabled BG East house. After reading this blog in the past and gaining some insight on what makes some other wrestling fans tick, it’s different to be in the role of “wrestler,” and no longer just a fan. It’s exhilarating to be on camera once again doing something that began as a hobby, and kind of “dirty little secret”, and it’s even more so that people are responding to my BG East debut. And with that new catalog? I am extremely proud of being a part of that lineup and mixing it up with guys I’ve admired for a bit now.

“My smile has a mind of its own…”

Bard: It’s obvious from your debut match against that brand new muscleboy version of Gabriel Ross that you’ve got plenty of insight into what makes erotic wrestling so hot! Before I ask you about getting your hands all over lovely Gabriel, though, I want to ask how you were “discovered?” The website says that you contacted them, they checked you out, and then you got the invite to show up for that whirlwind week of shooting. What was the vetting process like? How did it feel to get the word that you made the cut and were invited to join the ranks of BG East wrestlers?

Drake: The story on the site is kind of oversimplified. Basically I’ve known Kid Leopard for nearly a decade. We’ve had multiple conversations online. He’d extended the offer to bring me out for training in the past, but there’s a long backstory involving inner spiritual turmoil and near crippling body dysmorphia issues, and I demurred for a good while. Then, late last year, I jokingly applied as a model for the now-defunct HBWL and was put in contact with the owner, and next thing I know, I’d completed three shoots for them and received a message on, also now defunct, Grunts ‘N Groans from KL that said, simply, “No more excuses, it’s time.” And with a slight hesitation, I accepted. With everything official and settled, I threw my ass headlong into the gym and began to get myself into better shape for BG East, and I hope that translated to camera. I credit much of the early blossoming of my sexuality to BG East, oddly enough. So the idea that someone saw me as a good fit for the site was quite overwhelming. I was determined not to let KL down with my fitness or any fans that may have been holdovers from HBWL.

Bard: I hear the jokers that write the text for the BG East website often oversimplify things! Fascinating to hear the story and to read between the lines of what sounds like even more story. I’m thrilled that you battled whatever demons were necessary to “throw your ass headlong” into this adventure! I found your presence in the mat room for X-Fights 34… compelling, to say the least. Having such a long build up to get to that day, what was it like when the boys at BG East said, “Oh, and by the way, you’re going to wrestle your first match against the massively muscled gym bunny that ate Gabriel Ross whole?”

Drake gets thrown to the wolves

Drake: Gabriel Ross ate himself whole? [laughing] That backstory is a Lifetime movie slash one-man play slash gay coming-of-age novel just…sexier, I guess, considering where it’s brought me. Hearing that I would be making my debut against Gabriel made me ten kinds of nervous. Granted I’ve a significant height advantage, and maybe (maybe!) a few pounds, I simply did not have the muscle I needed to gain an advantage against him on the mats. That, and Gabriel chose me for his first match back to the BG East world. Here I was barely off the plane and he was already preying on the unexperienced new wrestler. Nothing like getting thrown to the wolves on your first day. But if the wolves are that sexy…
          Had you asked me before fighting Gabriel who I wanted to cut my teeth against I would have picked someone equally as new and with similar stats, but after? I can’t imagine a better way to get the ball rolling. And it definitely got me amped for the opponents I had later in the week.

Bard: I know of no other believable explanation for how lovely “little” Gabriel Ross turned into that massive musclebound basher than to believe a gorgeous gym bunny ate him. I’m sticking to it. So hold that thought about who else you faced, because you know for a fact I’m coming back to that topic! But let me linger just a bit on diabolically innocent looking Gabriel hand-picking you to give you that wad-blowing welcome he gave you in X-Fights 34. So there’s just no way to miss the grin stretching from ear to ear across your face through most of this match (excluding the moments when your face is buried between his skull-crunching thighs or twisted in such exquisite agony). Was it difficult maintaining your focus on the wrestling? You get in some enviable muscle worship in there, and I couldn’t help but think jealously of the phrase “between a rock and a hard place” when he repeatedly delighted in just slamming his bulging body down on top of you and pounding the air out of your lungs. Was the mix of pain and pleasure what you expected it to be, and would you do anything differently, knowing what you know now about Gabriel 2.0?

Gabriel gives Drake a thrill he’ll be chasing for a long time
“… so easy to get lost in worshipping him”

Drake: Well it took me a minute to let it sink in when I was told that Gabriel wanted to face me. First: flattered that such a hot stud wanted me for a match. Second: worry; you don’t challenge someone to a match unless you think you are going to be able to come out on top. So about that grin… I loved every second of that fight. The brief moments when I had Gabriel where I wanted him, and yes, even when he used his considerable experience to show me for the rookie I am. My smile has a mind of its own; I have a hard time suppressing emotion, so when I’m happy, that joker’s grin asserts itself. He used his considerable muscle and appeal to distract me, yes.  There were times I wanted to say: “Fuck wrestling…we’re just going to go at it!” but something deep inside told me that I needed to avenge that opening submission and, if possible, use my own sexual desire as a weapon to maybe turn the tide of the match in my favor. But it was so easy to get lost in worshipping him. It took the body splashes and the rib-crumbling body scissors to remind me that we were still fighting. The pain was a lot more exquisite than I was expecting, and the pleasure far outweighed even my strongest fantasies. The two of those things together though are something I’ll probably chase for a while. It was, essentially, my own lust and over eager attitude that contributed to my debut downfall at the hands of the Brit, and given the chance of a rematch, I would eagerly snatch it up and would definitely do better on a second go around. I’m more focused, and in better shape than the first time. Gabriel can rest easy with this win, but next time he hits American shores I’ll be ready.

Drake goes down under the expert attention of an angel-faced veteran

Bard: Well, if you’re going to “go down,” what a fantastic way to do it – in the expert hands of someone like Gabriel Ross! So, not to trigger your body dysmorphia, but I typically ask wrestlers I interview what part of their body they’re most proud of. Particularly as you’re so committed to forging your body into better and better shape, what are you liking about you’re body these days?

Drake’s new abs take a beating, which
he gives right back to Gabriel.

Drake: Overall I’ve been pretty shy about revealing my body for a great deal of my life. I’m talking cutting out of class early so I could change for PE alone. Before coming out I used to weigh about 50 lbs more than I do now, and it wasn’t muscle. That weight eventually proved itself to be stress weight and kind of melted off in quick fashion, and I never really did anything else to improve my body because I was terrified of the gym and judgment. So the dysmorphia would assert itself much more as an adult because, in my mind, I was still carrying that extra weight. It was about a year before finally accepting Kid Leopard’s offer that I started to get kind of serious about getting in shape. I mean, I was getting naked on camera in HBWL; no one wants to see an out of shape guy doing that [laughing]. My body wasn’t quite changing the way I wanted it to, and it wasn’t until I started doing Insanity that I realized where I had went wrong. And now that you see what my dysmorphia has done to my life you want me to focus on my body? [laughing] Kidding… Okay I’ve always been kind of fond of my own smile and eyes.  I’ve received compliments about them my whole life, but those are two features I can’t really be proud of because I have no hand in their development. But as I work my way through Insanity, I am noticing some amazing major changes.  I’m finally building some muscle and melting off some weight. I’m beginning to pay more attention to my legs as my thighs become solid, but my kind of favorite feature now is my rapidly developing abs. I didn’t really think I had them, honestly. After two weeks on this program they began introducing them selves to my mirror. I’ve been sore tempted to just stop and accept the body I have achieved so far because a) I’ve never felt so good in my life, and b) I’ve never looked this good in my life. The thing is though, I’m only halfway through the program; if the first half was this good to me, I can only imagine how good the next one is going to be. Before I embarked on this workout I told everyone that my goal was to look like a cheese grater.

Bard: Well, I’m guessing there are plenty of guys who’ll be happy to rub something up and down your body, but I don’t think it’ll involve cheese! You look damn sexy to me! You’re crazy-handsome (thus my fawning comparisons to John Fugelsang on my blog, who I think is incredibly hot). And your legs are simply gorgeous. I predict you’re going to make boys cry when you’ve snapped shut those scissors around them. Speaking of which, at this early point in your wrestling career, what do you think is the strongest aspect of your wrestling arsenal? What holds or maneuvers do you think are your most effective, and equally as important, what holds turn you on the hardest (either giving or receiving)?

“I’m rather fond of my full nelson/body scissors combo.”

Drake: You’re buttering me up and then asking me to wax arrogant on what I find to be amazing about myself…well played, Bard! [laughing] You’re far too kind with the compliments, but I’m fine with that. When it comes to wrestling I haven’t quite had a chance to show what I’m capable of just yet; rest assured that I will though. But I think that my good-guy attitude and good-natured personality are kind of disarming when I actually get someone in pain. I may not look tough, but that’s part of it all. I’m kind of a bitch when it gets down to it. Given the chance, I will fuck someone up. Yes, I kind of want to use my legs to dominate in the future, but until I have them up to caliber for that kind of action, I’m rather fond of my full nelson body scissor combo. Yes, Gabriel held up surprisingly well in my full nelson, but he’s also more experienced and caught me off guard. I’m really flexible and can take a lot of pain (especially now that I know what I’m up against in this company) and like to pay it back in spades. In terms of getting aroused during combat, those who’ve known me for a while know that I’m a sleeper and chokehold fanatic. Any time someone is wrapped up tight and you get to watch the fight drain from their eyes, the realization sinking in that it’s all over and there’s not a damn thing to be done, the muscles losing control and hanging limp as their body shuts down and accepts defeat is the hottest thing in the world to me.

Drake likes wrapping them up tight and watching the fight drain from their eyes.

Bard: I’m an expert butterer (take that however you’d like)! However, I refute your claim that I am too kind. I just call it like I see it. And I call your description of what turns you on about a sleeper/chokehold wildly hot! I cannot wait to see you put some stud out cold, and then disentangle yourself from his unconscious body with you fully aroused. That’s gold-plated platinum, right there, that is! Who else have you wrestled so far for BG East? And, knowing that Kid Leopard would crush both our sets of testicles if you were to answer that question, who on the BG East’s present roster would you most like to sleeper out cold?

Drake: [laughing] As for who I’d like to fall victim to my sleeper? I have a few in mind… Skip Vance for one, Len Harder for the shit talk on Grunts N’ Groans, and definitely Ben Monaco for the shit talk exchange on Facebook, that would be ultra satisfying. And I hate to say it, Bard, but I would love to take down your resident god: Kid Karisma. The first three I know are entirely possible; Kid K would be a major stroke of luck, however. Being honest, I know I’m not near the level of competition or skill for Kid K, but I would kill for the shot.

Drake has his sights set on patron saint of
neverland, Kid Karisma

Bard: That’s a fantastic menu! I love to hear that you boys mix it up with trash talk online. Nothing, but nothing hotter than an erotic grudge match! And I’d love to see you give Kid K a go! But I warn you, if you found Gabriel Ross’s hot bod distracting, you’d better include some hardcore tantric meditation to your training schedule, because you wouldn’t be the first challenger to get completely thrown off your game plan when he shoves that world class ass in your face and flexes for you. I definitely want to see that match happen… from the front row! Since you’ve been a BG East fan for a while, who are some of the classic wrestlers who’ve retired from the scene that you would’ve liked to have faced in their prime? And what are some highlights of what those fantasy matches would have entailed?

Drake: I know I’m possibly signing my own death certificate by throwing that kind of challenge out there at Kid K, and I know I’m not quite ready to compete at that level quite yet. That’s why I’m secretly hoping he doesn’t show up at a shoot that I’m at soon! But I do believe, that, with enough training and preparation that, if I can’t beat him, I’m definitely going to give that flawless ass a run for its money.

Josh Avery talks top notch trash

     Now, asking me to dig back quite a bit in my memory in my fantasies… Three names pop out immediately: Aryx Quinn, Nick Archer, and Josh Avery. Those three guys have crossed paths with each other. The first BG East match I ever purchased was a grudge match with Nick and Josh. Josh’s complete inhalation of Nick in the ring is almost the entire encapsulation of my erotic wrestling fantasies; unfortunately Josh was a one trick pony. His matches followed the same patterns that kind of wore thin after a while. Anyone who has seen more than one of his matches will know what I’m talking about. His trash talk in the aforementioned match is epic and so hot to me.

Aryx Quinn and Nick Archer round out
Drake’s classic fantasy list

     Aryx Quinn: that’s the only thing that really needs said is his name. When I first started checking out the stuff he was putting out, I loved his bad guy, pretty face, dominating attitude. But as time went on, I started seeing him get his ass handed to him and that became much hotter to me. The thought of taking down those two big-mouthed pretty boys and shutting them up? Taking a page from Josh’s own book and flexing over his unconscious body, each flex signifying a count all the way up to ten? Yea, and Aryx, finally seeing him with absolutely nothing to say, no witty retort, no stuttered trash talk, my foot on his heaving sweaty chest. That shit excites me.
     Finally Nick Archer: as much as I loved watching him getting methodically torn apart, I kind of want to experience defeat at his hands. Short, ripped little fucker, making me fade away helplessly in his classic, figure-4 head scissor. Shit, I’m going to have to revisit some of those matches for the holiday season!

Bard: Hot, hot, hot! I love the fact that you know the BGE catalogue so well. I’m making an educated guess that your familiarity with the classics will be a major asset in your evolving homoerotic wrestling career. Taking the best, hottest elements of the best and hottest wrestlers seems like it would automatically give you a huge leg up against other wrestlers, particularly other rookies. And personally, I think any wrestler who wears headgear into the ring (a la Josh Avery) should get tied into the ropes with said headgear stuffed down his trunks. But that may be just me. So Aryx, Nick, and Josh… I’m sensing a prettyboy-jock theme. Are there particular themes to the guys that get your heart pumping hardest? Angelic-looking sadists with gym bunny bodies and English accents can obviously top you off, but do you have other “tastes” that you tend toward in your guys?

Drake remembers well that it was Justin
Pierce who stole Josh Avery’s headgear and
put the trash talker to sleep!

Drake: I think it was Justin Pierce, actually, who beat Josh Avery’s ass, stripped him of his headgear and then wore it himself as he put Josh to rest. Not only that, but left Josh lying in a heap, Justin claiming the headgear as his own. – Pretty boy jock theme, huh? Never really thought of it that way; makes sense looking back on it. But I think when it comes down to wrestling and all, I think what really gets me going is the self-assured, confident, arrogant, mouthy guys who think they’re Superman, untouchable, invincible. That attitude is hot to me. However, the tantalizing thing about that attitude is when they get their comeuppance, are defeated and humiliated. Egos totally wounded, crushed, humbled. That is what gets me going. But in terms of picking guys to go toe-to-toe with, they can’t be behemoths. Or too tall, unless they have that attitude I crave. I prefer guys that are, at the very least, in as good of shape as me, or are built well. Gym bunny bodies are awesome, but guys who are a little more Everyman (in shape, but not an Adonis) are more my speed. You don’t really know what you’re going to get from those guys. They’re the ones that shock and dazzle. And then there are some that just suck [laughing]. But you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs right?

K-Pop hardbody, Jay Park

     However, I have a certain weakness for Asian guys. Spend 5 minutes researching K-Pop on YouTube (for example, G-Dragon, Tae Yang, Jay Park). Those are my penultimate, favorite guys – either in the ring, bed, or (prophetic) altar. I want those types of guys. As well as the Everyman, those are the ones you really don’t know what to expect from. I haven’t been let down thus far, let’s just say that. Accents are also a pretty good turn on as well. A good grasp of English is required, but the stumbling, fresh off the boat accents are hilarious and adorable.
     It’s always been kind of weird to me, though, when I think about the wrestling/dating aspect. I know there’s the legendary Christian/Skip fairy tale wrestling romance, that I’d like to find some day. But, usually, when I’m dating someone, wrestling them is the farthest thing from my mind. Weird, I know. But I am sort of a private person in a lot of aspects. The wrestling part of my life is kept separate from my personal life, and I’m kind of okay with that. Now that’s not to say that I don’t have fun and don’t wrestle off camera, I do that. But, at this point in time, I feel more at ease and organized with keeping the two as separate entities. Who knows, though? Maybe down the road the two will merge into a perfect union. Only time will tell.

Bard: Fascinating! It’s a sad thing not all of us can enjoy a “wrestling romance” as wrestling-hot as Christian and Skip. You’ll have to let us at neverland know if these two worlds collide for you in the future. Maybe Skip and Christian can set you up with some wrestling stud that they know of on the market. So, 1) who would be your top pick for a tag team partner, 2) who would you face first, and 3) which of the four of you ends up tied in the ropes and force-fed cock? Oh, wait, that last part is my answer to the question, “What would be the climax to that match,” so perhaps that should be your number 3.

Mr. Janus had better hold up his end of a
tag team with Drake, or else!

Drake: I’ve never really thought of the whole tag team aspect before.  It’s never figured into my fantasies. I’ve always been kind of focused on doing a job myself, but if I’m facing insurmountable odds and need help, I’d probably like to have Nick Archer on my side. The things I could learn from him! And if I can’t have him, then I’ll want Blaine Janus because he and I developed a connection at the last shoot, and I think we’d work well together because of that. And it would be fun to go up against Christian and Skip or Skrapper and Z-Man. Now I’d think Christian/Skip would fare pretty well against us in a way I don’t think Skrapper and Z-Man would. I’ve seen Z-Man go down far too many times to smaller guys to worry, and that’s a lot of weight for Skrapper to shoulder on his own. So I predict a nice win with Mr. Janus as my partner. And I see that win coming from a hard fight with me cranking one of them out in a sleeper/body scissors combo and Blaine with a nice headscissor on the other one, both studs fading out cold. And if we lose, best believe that Canuck, Blaine, will find himself receiving the torture you mentioned earlier! [laughing]

Bard: Well you may have never figured a tag team partner into your fantasies, but you’ve painted a most provocative picture that I’d pay to see! And I love hearing that you hit it off with Blaine. Damn, that guy puts the “erotic” in homoerotic wrestling! So a couple of years ago I adopted a rule that I saw Kid Leopard enforce on the BG East Headquarters discussion group, banning comments that trash wrestlers with catty comments about their bodies. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how ridiculously hypercritical gay guys can be as “consumers” of each other’s bodies (so to speak), and I occasionally round-bin a comment that someone tries to post on my blog about a wrestler being too skinny, fat, unattractive, etc. At the same time, I realize that I’m one of a chorus of voices promoting my particular tastes in men’s bodies, including (but not limited to) hard, hot muscle hunks with probably unhealthily low body fat and ridiculous genetic gifts. As a new face on the scene who’s upfront about your history of struggling with your body image, do you have any advice for homoerotic wrestling fans about how we talk about you all? And any advice for the countless guys reading these words who struggle with valuing themselves because of body image issues and that internal, hypercritical gay bitch inside each of us all too ready to tear ourselves down for not looking like some completely unrealistic ideal (aka, Lon Dumont… for me, at least)?

Drake: As part of the gay community, you are subject to unfair criticism. In terms of wrestlers, we’re stripping ourselves down on camera so the criticism is heightened. Fueled by a love of the similar tastes and wanting to put something out for the fans, that we ourselves would like to watch, is something we don’t take lightly. When it comes to attacking wrestlers: if you want to sit at your keyboard in the safety and comfort of your home and have the audacity to criticize what we look like, who we are and what we do (or don’t do), I’m not bothered, that’s your shtick. Until you have the guts to do what we do, you have nothing to stand on. We do what we do to make you happy. We have so many different guys to cast in our fantasy roles. If you see someone on the site that you don’t think is attractive or doesn’t fit your ideal, just keep clicking. We have the Adonises. We have the guys who are continuing to work on their bodies. And we have the Everyman. But to take to a wrestling blog and to attack someone’s image is a waste of everybody’s time.

Bard: I hear you! And I hope that I haven’t strayed into that particular shtick too often, because I think you’re absolutely right. You guys who strip down to nearly (or completely!) nothing and not only put your bodies on display but also put them to the test against another competitor (however competitive and/or amorous it gets) deserve 110% respect from those of us who just “consume.” And personally I get stoked by so many different “types” of wrestlers. I love getting totally taken by surprise, making a snap judgment that some wrestler isn’t going to be at the top of my list of fantasies, only to see him in action and find myself totally captured by his body, his intellect, his humor, his personality.

Drake: Yeah, I’m pretty much a fan of the old adage “Everyone is beautiful.” Because it’s true. Concepts of beauty differ greatly across racial and generational lines. Everyone needs to get to a point where they love themselves for who they currently are and what they look like.

Not everyone should look like Stretch Armstrong (who turned me gay)

Bard: So true! I watch British television a lot, and I’m often struck when they have a character who’s supposed to be some gym bunny meat head (often also supposed to be an American, interestingly) who would probably be laughed off the set as nothing special for anything being filmed in Hollywood. Presenting anything other than a highly competitive, zero-body fat, platonically proportioned bodybuilder seems too often to bring out the cattiness in some gay fans. There are a lot of different standards for judging beauty, and insisting that everyone look like a plasticine sculpture of a Stretch Armstrong doll is just ridiculous.

Drake: Since we’re talking about body image everyone needs to accept the reality of how you currently look and decide if there’s something you want to change. There are literally millions of avenues to getting into the shape you want. The hardest part of all this is committing to doing it though. It takes 2 weeks to develop a habit. Give yourself at least 14 days of doing something everyday, and then you’ll continue to do it. And the worst thing you can do going into physical fitness is wanting to have the body of someone else. No one has identical bodies. Every body is built differently and with different potentials. What you need to do is go into it wanting to be in the best shape possible: that includes a healthy diet, a good workout program, and an attitude that it is possible.

Bard: I think that sounds like an awesome attitude and approach, Drake! I think it’s also a nice corrective to the tendency to latch onto one “ideal” body and hold ourselves, and our homoerotic wrestling objects of lust, up to that one image. Your comments send me self-reflecting on this blog, and the ways that I may intentionally or inadvertently promote unrealistic body images for wrestlers and readers. Regularly picking my favorites probably says a lot about the range (or lack thereof) of what I think of as ideal. You’ve given me a lot of food for thought!

Like Zac Efron, but even better

Drake: As I apply this to myself, even before my actual attempt at getting in shape my ideal was Zac Efron. Now that I’m actually working out and seeing results I would say I have the potential to look even better! But I wouldn’t necessarily say you’re guilty of promoting unrealistic ideals. I mean, these guys exist, so it’s obviously realistic, but for them. But different bodies, different potentials. People don’t need to kill themselves to look like someone else, because what’s the fun in that? Don’t you want to stand out from the crowd? I worship at the altar of individuality often. I celebrate people who are completely their own person and don’t compromise to fit other people’s perceptions. Whenever I witness someone doing something completely out of the norm I find myself wanting to be a part of it. That’s how it’s been my whole life, always something new, off the wall. And ultimately I think it’s that attitude that’s brought me here. BG East is not filled with a bunch of skinny boys having sex. It’s filled with all body types struggling against each other to achieve physical dominance and superiority. It’s primal. It’s sensual. It’s hot as hell!

Bard: Hell, yes! Smokin’ hot wrestlers come in all sorts of packages! I’ll take that “necessarily” to heart, and I sincerely appreciate your words of caution about worshipping too much at the altar of cookie-cutter fitness model physiques. I think this conversation is good for me as I think about how I write about wrestlers and how I think about my own fitness goals. You rock.

Drake: Well, it’s your blog, your little corner of the web to say what you think unfettered by other people’s thoughts. If you feel like saying someone has the penultimate bod, I think you should be allowed to express that. One more thing I wanna say about fitness before we move away from that is: I am not a fitness guru, nor am I a physical trainer. I’m far from that. I’m just a guy who came late for the party and is stuck cleaning up the mess. I can only speak from my personal, frighteningly sparse, experience. So with that forewarning, another key to getting yourself on track is friends and accountability. I lost track of how many people have noticed my improvements, even ones that I didn’t see with my mirrored “progress checks” (which occur every few hours.) That, especially, serves to buoy and foster confidence that what you’re doing is working: other people’s validation. You’re your own worst critic, but once you’ve got others on board supporting you, those self-defeating voices eventually begin to fade.

Bard: Again, that sounds like excellent advice! So… Zac Efron? Okay. I’ll be fine with you having his body (or better). But as for who you look like, when I saw Kid K’s pic of you from the September shoot at BG East, I mentioned on my blog that you sort of had a John Fugelsang look about you. Tell me that you get that all the time, that you look like John Fugelsang. And holy shit, John Fugelsang as an X-fighter homoerotic wrestler… holy… shit! What an idea!!!

Separated at birth?

Drake: [laughing] I didn’t even know what a “John Fugelsang” is, but a quick search online shows he’s an actor with some left-leaning comedic leanings, which I can definitely get into. But yeah, I kinda see it.  As for others I’ve asked: no one knows who he is either. So I’m afraid you’re kind of alone in that. I have, however, been compared to other celebrities: Ricky Ullman (Disney Channel’s “Phil of the Future”), Jim Parsons (Sheldon of “Big Bang Theory), Tony Dow (Wally of “Leave It To Beaver – 50s sitcom), and Sean Hayes (Jack from NBC’s “Will and Grace”). But since Kid Leopard can work magic maybe we can get that matchup between me and Fugelsang put together. A loosely connected sequel to “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” but this would be “The Time Traveler’s Battle,” where he travels back in time to wrestle his younger self [laughing].

Wally Cleaver as erotic wrestler!

Bard: I’m okay with being fettered… if it’s consensual. And I’m okay if I’m the only guy in the world who suddenly found America’s Funniest Videos wildly erotic during the brief period it was co-hosted by John Fugelsang. Seriously, I… got… off to AFV for him. Sharing too much? Suffice it to say I intended the Fugelsang comparison as a major compliment. And you X-fighting John Fugelsang would surely rip a hole in the space-time continuum with the over the top explosive eroticism. I had to look up Ricky Ullman, which suddenly makes me feel old. However I think you’re several times hotter than Jim Parsons or Sean Hayes, though if I saw you in black and white, I think I’d agree with the Tony Dow comparisons. I won’t bother going into detail about what Leave It to Beaver reruns did for me (a lot).

Drake: I had a nagging suspicion that I had seen him in something before but couldn’t put my finger on it, but you nailed it! I have seen Fugelsang around before, just didn’t know his name! Since I’m apparently his doppelgänger, it’d be in poor taste for me to say I find him attractive, right? This all being said, I really am going to develop an ego with all the compliments you’ve been feeding me… Stop…please…(keep ‘em coming)! [laughing]

Bard: Well I’m fantasizing about you in an X-fight with Fugelsang, so if you find him attractive, all the better on my end. So we’ve been at this interview for a while, and I think I could keep chatting for hours longer with you, but I suspect you have a life to get on with. You’ve given neverland readers, and me in particular, a ton of great stuff to ponder and look forward to. Anything else you’d like to say by way of introduction to BG East fans sitting up and taking note of Drake Marcos’ arrival on the scene?

Drake: I’ve had a blast chatting with you about all of this and am so sad it’s ending! This has been way too fun! As we talk, I’m sitting in an airport in Atlanta waiting for my flight to Ft. Lauderdale where I will be getting up to some more BG East hijinks, so definitely want to say you can expect more from yours truly, Drake Marcos. Maybe some of my comments here can prick the ears of future challengers and we can get the wheels rolling on those. I plan on either starting blogging or tweeting soon (I’ll keep you informed) to capture all of the BG East goodness, because I’d like to be at this for a little bit. I derive great pleasure in giving people what they want to see and hear so stick with me, because Drake is just getting started.

Having had a taste of BG East wrestling,
Drake is definitely heading back for more!

Bard: Fantastic to hear that you’re on your way to your next taping with the BG East boys! I hope it’s wildly raunchy and incredibly hot! And I love the news that you’re contemplating documenting your journey in homoerotic wrestling in blog or tweet format. Let me know the moment you start so we can get folks tuning into Drake Marcos’ next big adventure! And finally, take some behind the scenes photos at the Florida compound. I love, love, love the behind the scenes photos. Fly safe and play hard, Drake!

Drake: I will certainly do that, Bard. It was a pleasure chatting with you and I look forward to doing it again soon!

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

Austin Wolf’s reign as homoerotic wrestler of the month has been a wild one, no doubt, but it’s time to kick his fine, fine ass off the throne to make room for one of the army of beautiful boys who, unlike Austin, posted a new release in homoerotic wrestling during the month of November.  The field is always deepest when BG East releases a catalog, and that’s the case this time around.  Among the notable contenders from BG East’s catalog 96 is newly minted muscle bunny, Gabriel Ross from X-Fights 34, as well as former HWOTM and long-time reigning favorite around here, pendulous Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!) for Demolition 15.  It should come as no surprise to recent readers that Gazebo Grapplers 14 presents a bevy of beautiful contenders, including rookies Pete Sharp and friend of this blog Mason Brooks, as well as former HWOTM Christian Taylor, veteran erotic master  Blaine Janus, and the visually stunning pair of hairy hunks Ben Monaco and Damien Rush.  I haven’t discussed Muscle Madness 1 yet around here, but damn, did you see sex-wrestler and monster muscleman Magnus have his way with big, beautiful Chace LaChance!?  Former HWOTM Z-Man also posts a hot performance with frequent contender Rio Garza, and both Trent Blayze and Darius work up so much heat between them that my computer mouse even got hot! Two former HWOTM went head to head in some of the most visually beautiful images I’ve ever seen when Lon Dumont brought a long a rookie to put a glorious beatdown on barefoot beauties Jake Jenkins and Austin Cooper for Tag Team Torture 15. From Sunshine Shooters 5, I was deep down turned on by the Dorian Gray-esque Patrick Donovan and massive stud Dev Michaels, as well as current reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler overall Kid Karisma, making it hurt so sweetly with sexy Brit Mike Martin.  Finally, Ethan Axel making his BG East debut getting incredibly hot and bothered and ripped and stripped with Mason Brooks’ infatuation, Lorenzo Lowe in Gloved Gladiators 5. Amazing depth from BG East!  But of course, they aren’t the only ones putting out chart topping matches in November.  I’m wildly happy to see what Braden Charron gets up to against hot rookie Ken in Thunders Arena’s Mat Rats 29.  And I love the look of Can-Am’s Bobby Blake volunteering to get DeCrotcheried by cockmaster Jobe Zander.  And on the muscle worship scene, did you catch Steel Muscle God going flex to flex and bearhug to bearhug against fellow internet/youtube sensation Connor?  Wowza! And finally, Rock Hard Wrestling released Superstar Showdown, pitting former HWOTM Jake Jenkins squaring off against his very same tag team partner from BG East’s new release Tag Team Torture 15, goldenboy Austin Cooper.

So much quality.  So much sweat.  So many hours in November devoted to sucking the juice out of each and every one of these contenders!  But my task I’ve set for myself is to appoint only one to laud as the homoerotic wrestler of the month this time around.  And that hunk is….

Trent Blayze: 6’1″, 195 lbs

This choice catches me by surprise.  I know, I know.  It’s my choice, but still, I surprise myself sometimes.  I was all set to tap a different power hitter when I sat down to give my due diligence to Trent and Darius’ match in Muscle Madness 1.  And even then, I was really vetting Darius for the title based on his stills and what he’s managed to do to me when I’ve watched his previous matches.  And no doubt, Darius is insanely beautiful in this match.  His ass alone deserves some sort of award.  He sells like a champ.  I love me some Darius in the ring!  But holy hell, I was blown away by Trent Blayze!

Darius was always going to outmuscle Trent in above board competition.

Trent establishes character 5 seconds after climbing into the ring.  Darius extends a hand as an offer of good sportsmanship, which Trent slaps away in disgust.  Trent admires himself, flexing in the mirror and taunting his famously muscled opponent.  “Look at that! Hmmm?  What about that!”  Darius quickly steps side-by-side and demonstrates why he’s not one to challenge in a muscle comparison.  “Is this what we’re here for!” Darius smirks.  Trent is big and beautiful, don’t get me wrong.  He’s a champion sweat machine, and I’m a sucker for pools of perspiration.  But a side-by-side double bicep next to Darius?  Come on!  The arm wrestling challenge seems similarly unlikely.  The veins in Darius’ huge arms pop.  He toys with this kid briefly, then easily knocks out a right-handed victory like nothing.  Left-handed goes no better for Trent, who shows exactly what he thinks of sportsmanship by launching a sneak attack and bashing Darius’ mouthwatering muscles.

Trent looks awfully tasty from every angle!

Trent keeps leveling the playing field with cheap shots that lay Darius out cold, setting the stage for muscle man Darius to flex all those maddening muscles to power his way back on top.  Every time Darius digs deep and pumps himself back into contention, I’m stroked harder.  A few minutes in and I’m thinking this is Darius in the spotlight, not big, tattooed Southern boy Trent.  Darius’ body on offense and getting pummeled in the corner are such a feast!  But holy hell, there’s some point I can’t quite put my finger on in the middle of this match that I suddenly recognize that I’m totally infatuated with every inch of 6’1″ Trent.

That sweaty, tattooed, muscled back is so fucking HOT!

I’m pretty sure whatever that moment is, it happens when Trent’s back is to the camera, because this kid’s back is incredible.  Backs aren’t always my fixation, of course.  Often it’s a bit lower where my eyes are wandering when a wrestling stud turns his back to the camera, and Trent’s sweet, powerful ass is entirely fixation-worthy.  But no, it’s his back itself.  Big, brought, muscled, tattooed, and very quickly shining with a self-replenishing coat of sweat.  Gorgeous, simply gorgeous!

“That feels good, don’t it!?”

There’s nothing bad at all about the front, either.  He’s got an incredibly sexy way of snarling to one side, like he’s got a shaft of straw in the other side of his mouth.  And maybe it’s just Mason Brook’s warning that quiet, polite Southern boys are probably nastier than you think.  There’s both an understated quality about Trent and a deep, dangerous nastiness there, too, growling out from deep in his chest in that hot, sexy drawl.  There’s lots of “how’s that feel?  That feels good, don’t it!?”  juxtaposed against Darius mouth hanging open in silent agony.  Trent rips apart Darius’ mighty pecs fiber by fiber, digging his fingers in deep and clawing savagely.

Trent swims in his own sweat and showers a withering Darius.

There’s corner these boys turn where you know Darius is once again going down in a musclebashing feast for the eyes.  There’s another 15 minutes left, and the main course on this menu is meaty Darius getting carved up and served raw.  I was prepared to be captured by the iconic sight of a big, powerful musclestud broken to bits and wailing helplessly.  But I wasn’t prepared for how incredibly irresistible I found Trent’s work on top, maintaining the pace of this match, carrying the story forward like a bona fide heel.  He makes a seamless transition from blasting Darius’ quivering mass he calls his pecs to brutalizing the bodybuilder’s back by ripping one last pec claw while simultaneously holding Darius in a bulging OTK backbreaker.  Multitasking is so… fucking… sexy!

Bulge-beautiful, muscle torturing crucifix

The corner abuse Trent inflicts is also hot shit.  He yanks upward on Darius’ trunks, using those butt-hugging Adidas to making the muscleman climb the turnbuckles and setting him up for a bulge-beautiful, muscle torturing crucify that leaves incredibly powerful Darius suspended helplessly with his feet nearly two-feet (no shit!) off the mat.  Furious, horrified, humiliated, Darius submits repeatedly until the nasty Southern boy, sweat streaming off his body, finally releases him.

Heavily lubricated victory

Joe’s been a Trent fan since day 1, and it’s not like I’ve ever not liked what I’ve seen.  But the Southern brawler put together a look, an offense, and an attitude in his muscle crunching destruction of Darius that put me way, way over the top.  I’m on the record now and always as saying that any big, beautiful wrestler who literally pours sweat onto their humiliating opponent writhing beneath them will always have the pole position in a HWOTM competition.  Trent not only starts in pole position, he shifts my gears like nobody else this month, earning him my enthusiastic laud as neverland’s newest homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Trent’s happy to be on top!

The point of the conversation

Austin Wolf generates so much heat!

I’m closing down the comments on my post last week concerning speculation regarding masculinity and femininity in homoerotic wrestling.  My sincere attempt to try to have a conversation about the role of masculinity in today’s homoerotic wrestling scene continued to veer into persistently vague yet increasingly personal attacks on last month’s homoerotic wrestler of the month, Austin Wolf.  A comment that came through for approval last night got catty with me, pointing out that I was missing the point of the conversation, since all I was talking about was Austin’s wrestling.  I was in the middle of composing a cuttingly clever and brutally insightful retort when it suddenly occurred to me that the commenter (who’s comment won’t be published because of the ensuing character attack on Austin as a person) was actually quite correct on his first point.  Sure, it was my conversation to start with, and it’s a conversation happening on my blog, but the conversation was decisively on a point that is implicitly and explicitly off topic around here.  I was missing “the point” that one or more commenters are uninterested in saying anything about Austin’s wrestling, but fixated on remarkably non-specific but vehement charges about his quality as a gay man and human being off camera.

… and as for his potential in homoerotic wrestling…

Yeah.  I don’t “get” that conversation at all, and more pertinently, that’s not a conversation for this blog. I’ve never talked with Austin, so I can’t verify whether he’s an upstanding sort of guy who’s just pissed somebody off, or if he’s a royal, screwed up dick.  But except for the generous gentlemen who have agreed to be interviewed for neverland, that’s pretty much the state of things with all the wrestlers I review and reflect on.  This conversation, the conversation that I’ll continue to initiate and be happy to respond to, is about homoerotic wrestling, the professional homoerotic wrestling industry, and what turns me on.  Austin’s wrestling turns me on, and I continue to think that he’s got a huge potential, proportional to his massive muscles, for more chart topping homoerotic wrestling.  The rest is for some other forum.

Austin takes the only beating that I care about: in a wrestling match.

I’m composing my post appointing Austin’s successor as HWOTM.  He didn’t appear in a November homoerotic wrestling release, so Austin isn’t eligible for a back-to-back repeat.  So I’m guessing I’ll have less to say about him in the coming days, and I guarantee you won’t be seeing any further comments charging him with unspecified failures to gay humankind.  But comments about his work on the mat or his potential in the business going forward will continue to be welcomed, because that’s what we talk about around here.  And if Austin wants to join the ranks of the friends of neverland by giving me an interview (pass along the hint, people!), we’ll enjoy chatting with him about his initial forays into homoerotic wrestling. Period.  Until then, let’s move on and get back to “the” conversation.

I hope to see those tree trunks wrapped around many, many more heads!

…So Let’s Keep Rocking and Rolling

Not long after my recent post describing exactly what Blaine Janus and Mason Brooks did to me in their intensely sexy Gazebo Grapplers 14 throw down, I found this snapshot in my inbox along with this adorable note:
“Just wanted to say thanks for the nice write-up
 and I’m glad you enjoyed watching the match
as much as I enjoyed filming it! – Mason”
After licking my computer screen a few times, I quickly replied, and using my famous powers of persuasion (which admittedly involve a whole lot of sincere flattery), I got Mason to agree to chat with me a bit about being one of the new kids on the BG East block.  In some ways, the interview that follows picks up right where my interview with Ben Monaco left off yesterday.  Young Mason had me rolling on the floor in laughter one minute and then needing to rearrange my crotch the next minute with his razor sharp wit and extremely sexy insights into how he approaches launching an on-camera homoerotic wrestling career.  So let me be the first to introduce you to this sultry, sexy, suprisingly sinister Southern boy who, I predict, very well could take BG East by storm.
Bard: Fantastic to hear from you, Mason! And damn, boy, really, really thanks for the photo! If you enjoyed filming that match even half as much as I enjoyed watching it, I hope you had a few days to rehydrate because you and Blaine certainly wore me out. Can I share your pic on the blog? And can I start peppering you with questions “on the record?”

Mason Brooks: 5’9″, 150 lbs.

Mason: [Laughing] Please, feel free to share. I am getting in touch with my inner exhibitionist. And I’d be happy to answer your questions.

Bard: You’ve definitely got to let that inner exhibitionist out. A lot! Consider us on the record, and talk to me about your nipples (which is something I’ve never said in an interview before!). Blaine cannot keep his hands off of them. Ben Monaco privately commented to me that your nipples are “to die for.” Ben’s words were, “I know it. He knows it. That’s where he’s going to get his fans.” And I have to tell you, you’ve got seriously hot nips! What sort of “gay wrestling catnip” do you use on them to turn us all on like that!?

Mason: Well, gee, this is a first for me as well. It’s funny, aside from the piercing, which obviously gets a fair amount of attention, I’ve never thought of my nipples as a standout attribute of mine. I mean, maybe my hair, my smile, my eyes–the list goes on, as you might imagine. I guess all those dips and push-ups while watching Honey Boo Boo this summer paid off. Seriously, though, if everyone is as taken with them as Mr. Monaco, I think I’m set. He really couldn’t help himself all weekend. Not that I’m complaining, of course. If a little nipple-tweaking was my BG East initiation, I guess I got off easy. It is strange, though, that they seem to have such an effect on Canadians. It was chilly that weekend, and the cold air does seem to perk those boys up. Sort of like my nips.  Not sure about the gay wrestling catnip (although that sounds like something I need in my stocking this Christmas). Actually, just a little neosporin now and then to keep the piercing in working order, especially if someone’s had his, umm, hands all over it.

Blaine had his… hands… all over Mason’s nips.

Bard: There’s just so much material there in your answer that I’m almost speechless. Almost. So yes, let me just confirm that I’m in a growing line of guys who clearly find your nipples extremely alluring. Next, please let me also confirm that your hair, smile, and eyes are also very, very attractive, but I’ll be damned if there’s a BG East fan who’ll rip his eyes away from your hot pecs to say much more about your eyes. And finally, I’m profoundly disturbed to recognize within myself that the image of you doing dips and push-ups while watching Honey Boo Boo just completely gave me wood. My therapist and I are going to have a lot to talk about next week…. But dragging myself back on topic… as I mentioned in my review of your match with Blaine, you certainly caught me off guard. I was totally expecting to see an earnest, babyface-in-wrestling-singlet bound to be another naive rook about to be awakened to the dark truth of homoerotic wrestling at the hands of a master. Then like a cruise missile you almost instantly locked Blaine down, completely immobilized him, and went straight for a crotch claw. There’s no way in hell you’ll convince me that that was your first dance, Mason! That was an accomplished hand that so confidently, simultaneously crushed Blaine’s testicles and worked him into a drooling lather. Where have you wrestled before, and how much will I pay to see your rip-n-strip archives?

Mason sees what’s he wants and goes for it.

Mason: Okay, I must confess, this was not my first dance. I’ve done my fair share of wrestling, in and out of a singlet, and learned the ropes, as they say. None on video, unfortunately. As far as I know….  But maybe, just maybe, I enjoy it when people see my cute, innocent face and underestimate me. I think it gives me an advantage when I surprise them with my skills.  More than that, though, I’m the kind of guy who sees what he wants and goes for it. You saw him, parading his freckled cheeks around in that little see-through number.  how could I not pounce on that? Yeah, if anyone thought I was a pushover, they were in for a rude awakening.

Bard: You, my new friend, are one seriously devious little devil! I’d love to get Blaine’s take on this, but my impression is just that: he completely underestimated you. I strongly suspect that your (now) obviously misleading shy grin and a strong resemblance to Edward Norton could throw plenty of opponents off stride right around the time that you rip them apart at the crotch and claw their balls with abandon. In light of the horrific tragedy that your earlier wrestling in/out of a singlet was not captured on video, I hope BG East signed you up for many more matches to come. Having toyed, dangerously, with fluorescent blue-eyed, freckle faced, horny-toad Blaine, have you seen anything else at BG East that you hope to “go for” in the future?

“Gabriel Ross is lucky I had a plane to catch…”

Mason: You know, I’ll gladly take on (and take down) whomever they want to throw at me. Christian, Skip, Len, Lorenzo–I think all those boys need to get a taste, and I’m ready to give it to ’em, any time. The big muscleboys–gosh, I can never keep all their names straight–they don’t scare me either. And Gabriel Ross is lucky I had a plane to catch, or he would have been next on my list. I don’t care how much he bulked up, that little wanker would have ended up with a faceful of my balls. Though I’m not sure how mean I could be to him–that smile is pretty killer. As it happens, all I got to do was hug him goodbye. And cop a feel, of course.

Bard: I really, really like the sound of hotties like Lorenzo Lowe getting “thrown” at you. It makes me picture you in the ring with boys flying off the ropes, and I hope we see you in the ring soon. And as for muscleboys, I suspect that with the performance you posted against Blaine and the smack talk you’re laying down here, there could be some big muscleboys eager to get their hands on your pecs and/or your balls in their face. Personally, I’d like to take up a collection to buy Gabriel a ticket back just to see how “that little wanker” would fare in the matroom against you. It would be like a battle of the angelic babyface badboys, which sounds like a fantastic theme for a collection of matches! So if you were ever to find yourself sleepered out cold at the end of another sweaty, raunchy barnburner like you suffered at the hands of Blaine Janus, who would you prefer to wake up with his tongue shoved down your throat: Lorenzo Lowe, Ben Monaco, or Kid Karisma? In other words, twink, hunk, or muscleboy?

“Lorenzo sounds mighty nice.”

Mason: Hmmm, twink, hunk or muscleboy.  Is that like boff, marry, kill? It all depends on my mood, I suppose. (Sometimes you feel like a nut, and all that, right?) I wouldn’t kick any of those boys out of the ring for eating crackers, but right now I must be in a twink mood, because Lorenzo sounds mighty nice. Of course, he’d be the one getting sleepered out and waking up to me on top of him…

Lorenzo’s tongue ALSO seems irresistibly drawn toward Mason’s pecs (photo courtesy of Ben Monaco).

Bard: Well I saw a certain behind the scenes shot from Ben where you were sitting next to Lorenzo sans any pants, and you were sporting an awfully pleased grin on your face. I’m now officially advocating to see that grin on your face in a match with Lorenzo as he groggily rouses from your sleeper finisher to find your lips descending over his. Speaking of boff, marry, kill: Justin Bieber, Justin Theroux, and Justin Timberlake?

Boff. Marry. Kill.

Mason: Oh fun! Okay, first of all, my well-documented affection for Canadian boys notwithstanding, I would kill Justin Bieber, no question. Although I suspect that in a couple years, once the screaming girls have moved on and he’s still spindly and pale and the wrong side of 25, some combination of drugs and alcohol will do the job for me. Justin Timberlake’s never done that much for me, personally, but I guess I’d give him a whirl in bed. Don’t think I could marry him, though. His fashion sense irks me too much. (Ooh, you’re wearing a tweed vest and a fedora? Neato.) So that leaves Justin Theroux to marry, which sounds about right. I mean, if he’s good enough for the co-star of “Leprechaun,” he’s good enough for me. Nah, I’m kidding, he’s hot, I think we’d hit it off. As long as he’s into wrestling, that is. He seems like an interesting guy, but very serious. Eventually I’d get tired of exploring our feelings and I’d need to give those abs a working over. Wouldn’t that make a great tabloid headline? “Jen’s Heartbreak: Justin Caught with Wrestling Boy-toy.” Oh well, a boy-toy can dream….

Another wicked smart wrestling hunk:
Lon Dumont

Bard: I couldn’t agree with you more on all counts. And I can start that Justin Theroux rumor and see where it leads… never know. Damn, he’s hot. So you’ve got good hair, gorgeous pecs, magical nipples, AND insanely insightful taste in men? Damn, you’re going far! Did you have the opportunity to meet a long-standing favorite infatuation of mine when you were in Pembroke: Lon Dumont? I think you two would hit it off. You both seem particularly quick-witted and self-reflective. And he’s a god in the wrestling ring, so you can’t go wrong chumming up to Lon! Wrestling + smarts = Bard-is-infatuated. What haven’t you done yet in homoerotic wrestling that you’re itching to try out? Any particular moves, venues, gear, etc?

Mason: I did meet Lon Dumont, but just briefly. I think he was pretty busy in the ring, and I may have been headed to wash Blaine out of my hair (figuratively speaking, of course). Sounds like I should get to know him, though. I could always use a few pointers in the ring to add to my skills on the mat. What am I itching to try? You know, I’m always open to new things, especially if they make my butt look good. So, I dunno…rip and strip, oil, mud, jello? See, now I’m getting hungry. Oh, and I probably shouldn’t say too much, but it’s possible that in my next match we’ll get a little…wet?

Mail your boxes of Jello c/o Mason Brooks to:
BG East, PO Box 172, Pembroke, MA 02359

Bard: I hope you had help in the shower! Yeah, I think you and Lon could make for a very dangerous combination. If you two got your heads together, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that there’s been a major coup at BG East with you two running the show. And as for what we should expect next from you, I LOVE the sound of “wet!” And I’m even crazier for the words “oil, mud, and jello.” How incredibly old school sexy of you! I know a whole lot of wrestling fans who would blow a gasket for a rip-n-strip jello wrestling match, or a classic oil wrestling throw down. I think the time has come for those vintage genres to come back in vogue as retro-chic, and I love that you’re ready to be at the front of that line. But really, is there anything that doesn’t make your butt look good? So I think you know that I’ve also recently interviewed Ben Monaco, and Ben referred to you as “quiet and polite” to the point of being eligible to be an honorary Canadian. Has he ever actually met you?! I mean, sure, maybe you’re a little more reserved in person that you have been during this interview, but seriously… honorary Canadian!? Are you stringing him along, playing coy, in order to blow him away on the mats? Is this some sinister master plan building off of that dimple in your cheek and twinkle in your eye to lull another potential opponent into underestimating you?

Has Ben even met Mason!?

Mason: Honorary Canadian, huh? That would be quite an honor. I like hockey, beer, and flannel, and I know “O Canada” in English and French–still working on Inuktitut–so I think I’m halfway there already. I just hope the initiation ceremony involves Tyler Seguin shirtless and lots of maple syrup. As for quiet and polite, I can see how people assume that when they first meet me. I like to size up a room first, see who I’m dealing with. And hey, if people assume I’m innocent and harmless, that’s their problem. Plus I’m from the south, so yeah, probably I do have some manners deep down inside, along with a knack for making killer fried chicken. But I’m not so polite on the mat, as Mr. Monaco ought to know by now.

Bard: I’m adding “maple syrup” to the list of media within which you should wrestle. And it sounds like you’re more than halfway to Canuck-hood, eh? What part of the South are you from, and what percentage of the time that you wrestled with Ben did he spend sucking on your nipples?

Just like wrestling the pig farmer’s son!

Mason: I’m from a rural part of Virginia, where I’m pretty sure some folks are still fighting the Civil War. Very pretty country, but not much to do, unless you wanna wrestle a pig. On the other hand, sometimes you get into the Wild Turkey and end up wreslin’ the pig farmer’s son behind the barn. And that ain’t so bad. What else? Oh, right, nipples. Always with the nipples. As I recall, there was more pinching and tweaking going on than sucking, but it’s all a blur. A thoroughly enjoyable blur. Perhaps Mr. Monaco has a more vivid recollection, or maybe he was just daydreaming about the things he’d like to do with my sweaty chest.

Bard: You make pig farmer wrestling sound hotter than I’d ever have guessed! Ben was entirely mum about any activities you may have gotten up to. The nipple sucking was just my wishful thinking, though perhaps I’ve seeded the ground for future opponents you might face. I can hope. Well, Mr. Brooks, I’m convinced that we will be seeing a lot more of you in the future, based on your debut in Gazebo Grapplers 14 and your readiness to face all comers and all viscous substances. I predict that you’re going to have a big fan club, starting with nipple-obsessed Canadians and jello wrestling fans, but quickly branching out from there. Is there anything else you’d like to say to BG East fans who are about to discover that they’re Mason Brooks fanatics?

Quiet, polite, Southern boys:
probably nastier than you think.

Mason: Yeah, in the immortal words of Dirk Diggler, I’ll keep trying if you keep trying so let’s keep rocking and rolling. (Sweet jeebus, I loved that movie.) Seriously, though, I just hope the fans out there enjoy watching my matches as much as I enjoy making them, ’cause the whole experience was a blast, and I can’t wait to do it again. Oh, and watch out for quiet, polite, Southern boys–they’re probably nastier than you think.

Bard: True story: Boogie Nights is one of Lon Dumont’s favorite flicks. I kid you not. I’ve already seen quite a bit of chatter that fans are lining up for more of Mason Brooks, so we’re going to do our part. And personally, I’m hoping that there are plenty of hunks at BG East who will decidedly not take your advice about watching out for polite, quiet Southern boys, because I can’t wait to see the look of shock on their faces when you let loose. This was a true pleasure getting to chat with you! Thanks for your time, and I hope we can do this again. I’m strongly convinced that you could go very, very far in this business, and I’m not just saying that because of your entrancing nipples.

Mason: The pleasure was mine, and thank you so much for the kind words. The nipples and I are flattered.

Mason Brooks and his nipples.

Upperclassman

I’ve marveled here already about the first two in the truly fantastic collection of BG East matches in their latest release in the Gazebo Grapplers series.  The marquee match pits Mr. Rush’s little trust fund baby, Damien Rush (looking hunkier than ever) against Canadian sex-bomb and friend of this blog, Ben Monaco.  Ben graciously sat down with me to talk about his latest outing for BG East and speculate about all sorts of hot topics concerning homoerotic wrestling.
Ben Monaco: 5’10”, 175 pounds, 100% Canadian

Bard: Ben, thank you for agreeing to another interview for the homoerotic wrestling fans at neverland. And I want to publicly and directly thank you again for all of the juicy behind the scenes news and candid pics you shared with us from the taping you did for BG East in September. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: You rock! And speaking of you rocking and that September hunk-fest in Pembroke, am I right in guessing that your most recent match for Gazebo Grapplers 14 against gorgeous trust fund baby Damien Rush was filmed at that time?

Just a little of the eye candy at BG East

Ben: My pleasure Bard! As always, you are too kind with your compliments. I’m more than happy to give the fans my behind-the-scenes look at things, having been (and still being) a homoerotic wrestling fan myself. My match with Damien was filmed during that hunk-filled weekend, you are correct. There definitely was a lot of eye-candy around during that shoot!

Bard: That’s twice in just the past few days that someone has accused me of being too kind in my compliments. I don’t think you appreciate how much I appreciate you, your insights into the homoerotic wrestling business, and your extremely hot wrestling. Speaking of which, your match with Damien was incredible! Tell me exactly, in every prurient detail, what was going through your head when Mr. Rush’s son came strutting into the Gazebo in those skin tight, royal purple trunks and his designer shades looking (though I’d have never believed it if I didn’t see it) even hotter than he did when he got squashed and stripped by Morgan Cruise last spring?

Which celebrity most resembles Damien Rush?

Ben: Well, I knew I was going to be facing off with some punk. At least the Boss sent me a hot looking one. He did look at least 10 times better than his match with Morgan, I’ll give him that. One way or another, I knew that I’d have some fun with that body of his, win or lose.  I also kept trying to figure out who he reminded me of. There’s a vague resemblance to a celebrity but I couldn’t put my finger on which one. Am I crazy?

Bard: I’m sure you’re not crazy. Damien’s definitely got the face of a leading man, but I can’t put my finger on it either. We’ll have to make this a contest on the blog to identify which celebrity hunk Damien resembles most. Although you can’t put your finger on whom he looks like, you certainly did a truly inspired job of getting your hands all over Damien’s hot and hairy bod! And holy shit, when you snatched his shades off his face and made that stunning little rich boy literally whine, I nearly popped my cork before the action even started. Same for when you rip his trunks off of him – the panic in his voice suggests that this trust fund baby is entirely unaccustomed to getting his possessions forcibly removed. Was there a particular moment in this match that was hottest for you?

A good bicep really gets Ben going

Ben: He did have a whiny way about him didn’t he? Despite that, I did enjoy feeling every inch of his hairy body pressed up against mine. Favorite moment…definitely has to be the part where I ended up licking and kissing his bicep. I’m an arm-man. A good bicep really gets me going and Damien has quite the set of guns on him! Could certainly feel some other parts of MY body awakened in that moment…I mean who wouldn’t want to get their mouth on that slab of meat (among his many slabs of meat to choose from, the man is a muscle deli).

Damien can gladly park his ass
anywhere on Ben’s body.

Bard: What a beautiful way you have with words! You should blog. Seriously. And that moment when you’ve taken a serious pounding – you’re looking a little worn thin from getting repeatedly pec smothered deep in Damien’s hairy chest – and he barks at you to kiss his muscles… that’s truly an iconic homoerotic wrestling moment, I think. Were you surprised by that turn in the action? I didn’t know Damien had it in him to possess a longing for an oral muscle worship session. And then that finish, with his thonged/bare ass planted across your face… I’m swooning just a little replaying the scene in my head right now! Tell me you were holding on to enough consciousness to describe the view!

Ben: Thanks, I might just take you up on that…I could use a blog. For now, I’m content to tweet from time to time but I might venture into blogging if I have some more spare time in the new year. Damien may not have the most skills on the mat, but his continued smotherings in his sculpted physique distracted me a bit from my own skills I think. With his flexed bicep rubbed up against my face, I think I completely forgot how to wrestle. Then the ass…well, those glutes truly are a thing of beauty. Especially from the angle I was in, I got to see just how broad he was from below. Next time we meet, he can gladly park that ass anywhere he wants on my body.

Ben nearly rips Damien’s head off his neck.

Bard: I’ll link to your Twitter account here so that your neverland fans can follow you if they aren’t already. Let us know if you start blogging, because I’m first in line to follow you. I think any sane wrestling fan would forgive you for being distracted by how… intently… Damien crushed your face into his body over and over again. Hell, any sane homoerotic wrestling fan is insanely jealous! However I don’t want to give anyone the impression that this match is all about muscle worship and bicep licking. The wrestling in this match is wildly hot and majorly intense! There are moments there where I swear you’re going to rip his skull off his neck or, alternately, rip his balls from his body. With a battle that gets this heated on camera, what’s it like when they turn off the cameras and you’re sitting there in a pool of sweat with this guy who you were moments ago making scream like a whiny bitch in a spine-snapping camel clutch, or who seconds earlier had his gorgeous, bare ass planted across your face?

Ben: It actually was quite strange but I think we gained respect for each other after tearing each other apart. There was a certain chemistry bewteen us before and after the match. Who knows, perhaps a tag-team match could happen in the future.  It’ll be up to the fans to petition the Boss to see us as a tag-team I guess. Could be fun, I’d certainly be open to it. With our combined skills and muscle, we’d be pretty fierce together I think. We’d have to think up a fantastic tag-team name though.

Sex and Candy?

Bard: I’ll lobby for that tag team pairing, and I’m first on the record to vote for the tag team name, “Sex and Candy.” You’d make a blazingly hot duo in the ring! I’m picturing Damien holding them down and you feeling them up. Watch that ego of his, though. I don’t know if the concept of “sharing” was ever something this Damien’s nannies ever taught him, so trying to share the limelight with him could be dangerous. So tell me some more about the rest of the cast of dizzyingly hot eye candy that was on hand in September. You’ve told me privately that the outrageously hunky newbie that made jaws hit the floor was, indeed, Pete Sharp who also appears on Gazebo Grapplers 14. Can you name any more names for us regarding who got your heart pumping behind the scenes?

Ben: Sex and Candy! Love it! Oh trust me, I could convince him to share. Among my other talents, I can be quite persuasive in the right situations. You pretty much know all the guys who were there by now, I think I’ve told you all the names and such in that e-mail I sent you. However, one guy that I was very upset I missed was Braden Charron who showed up the day AFTER I left! I’d have killed to meet him in person and probably commit even more unspeakable acts to get a match with him. But I guess he’ll be on my hit list for another BG East session. Aside from that weekend, I did introduce two new hunks to BG East recently as well who should be making their BG debuts in the near future. And Bard, I think you know from candid pics I sent that these are two big, hot, hairy hunks. But don’t spoil the surprise right away by posting the pics I sent you.

Bard: I’m the paragon of discretion. And possibly blackmail as well, so we can discuss later what I’ll get for restraining myself from showing neverland readers the studs that you’ve recruited into the BG East ranks. Talk about jaw dropping! If there one thing that I’ve learned from our exchanges over the past few months, it’s that you’ve got an incredibly skilled eye for spotting hot wrestling talent. You also mentioned to me that there was a particular slice of rookie gold who had nipples that drove you insane in September, and I believe I’m correct in identifying said magically nippled newbie as Mason Brooks who also debuts on Gazebo 14. This is one stud-packed collection of matches! What was adorable young Mason like off camera, because on camera, he was a fucking wildcat going up against your fellow Canuck, Blaine Janus?

Nipples to make a man salivate: Mason Brooks

Ben: Of course Bard, you are a true gentleman! Indeed, you can’t tell too much from the photos, but Mason certainly has nipples that can make a man salivate. Trust me! He’s actually really quiet and polite off camera. I’m almost on the verge of making him an honorary Canadian for those virtuous qualities! His wilder side does come out on the mats for sure. We’ve kept in touch actually since that weekend. In fact, he texted me yesterday night and told me you were also planning an interview with him. So I guess you’ll have more rookie-perspective on BG East and all the goings-on behind the scenes. To add to what you said, yes Gazebo Grapplers 14 is really a fantastic video. The Boss really knows how to combine matches into a product that has something for everyone on it. I guess that’s why he’s the Boss after all!

Bard: It’s absolutely true, I’ve got Mason on the line for an upcoming rookie interview. You don’t have to convince me about his nipples. He sent me a close-up shot of his torso, and ooo-baby! Dial me up some fun! Blaine also made note of Mason’s lovely nipples in their match, as well, so clearly the boy has got some sweet morsels there that are attracting a lot of attention. Was this round of taping for BG East different for you this time, now that you’re one of the guys who’s been there before? Was there any difference in what it was like for you in action or behind the scenes now that you’re no longer a newbie? Play any upperclassmen pranks on the brand new rookies?

Ben: Well first off, yes it was different. I was in Pembroke, gay-wrestling Mecca if you will. Plus there were about 3 times more guys in the house than my last session in Florida. In action, the feeling was still the same: nerves, excitement, heart pounding, blood racing. Off camera I tried to be as welcoming to the newbies as I could. After all, I know what it’s like being the new kid in town. We all did our best to make the new “kids” welcome. Of course, some are my age or older but since they’re newer than me, I consider new guys “kids.” No pranks this time, but perhaps the next time around now that I think of it…

Bard: It sounds like there’s a great deal of camaraderie when BG East pulls together crowds of wrestlers like that. I interviewed Ken Canada who was a classic jobber from very early in the BG East days who talked about the good vibe both on camera and off, and friendships that endured even after shooting was over. It sounds like that sort of esprit de corps still exists. What do you think accounts for you all in the “business” of homoerotic wrestling building real friendships like that? I could imagine it wouldn’t “have” to turn out that way, some boys just punching the clock, some boys being egomaniacal dicks, etc. But you seem to be part of some seriously sweet community building out of these shoots.

BG East boys play hard off camera (photo via Kid Karisma)

Ben: It is very much a little community. When I was in Florida for my first shoot, there was a BG veteran Scott Williams who just happened to be visiting Florida and stopped in to check out what was going down on our shoot. Anyone who’s met Scott knows he’s a big kid at heart. Naturally, Scott and I were instant buds. We went out for supper a few nights and on random food runs for the gang too. One night at supper, Scott simply said “I’m so happy you’re part of the family!” which indeed is true. Once you’re part of BG East, once your first match is taped, it’s like being part of a family. That shared experience and bond bring us together. It’s never about big grudges off camera, it’s often good natured boys-being-boys friendship. On the mats of course, it becomes a bit more serious, but off camera there are lots of laughs and good times.

Bard: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Scott Williams as in Ultra Fight 2 Scott Williams!? Tall, lean, hairy chested, devastatingly handsome Scott Williams who could milk every ounce of agony out of a hold like absolutely no one else!? Scott Williams, who, after I saw him wrestle in Ultra Fight 2, shocked me to realize that I’d kick young Brad Rochelle to the curb to get my hands on his fantastically hairy pecs and nibble on that leading-man chin of his?! You’re now instant buds with that Scott Williams!? So as a new BG East wrestler you just run chores and sit around shooting the breeze with guys who have permanent positions in my pantheon of homoerotic wrestling god infatuations? My mind was just blown to bits. What an incredibly hot fraternity/family you guys comprise!

Ben: Indeed, THAT Scott Williams! It is a little bit of a mind-blowing situation when you first enter the “family”. You become friends and stay in touch with this plethora of hot guys you fantasized about for what seems like your whole life. I mean, it still boggles my mind that I have Cameron Matthews’ cell phone number and a year ago I didn’t even exist in the gay-wrestling scene. BG East really is a welcoming place for all its wrestlers and that’s why I really encourage people to work for them if they have the chance. We’re always looking to expand the family with hot new guys.

Bard: I know some Cam fans who’d do some naughty things to you to get that phone number! Hell, I’d do naughty things to get Scott Williams’ phone number. Oh, who am I kidding? I’d do naughty things just for the fun of doing naughty things to you. Since I know for a fact that you’re actively and successfully recruiting new studs for the stable, what do you think are some essential qualifications for joining the family? I’m guessing the physical demands alone aren’t something that just anyone could jump right into.

Ben: You wouldn’t be the first to want to do naughty things to me and you’re surely not going to be the last [laughing]. As far as joining the ranks of BG East, no matter what I think of a guy, the final decision always comes down to Kid Leopard and/or Kid Vicious. I know they have their own demands and criteria when it comes to their selection of men. As for me, what I tend to look for is a love or interest in wrestling at the very least. From there, I specifically try to hone in on looks or types of guys that aren’t already present in the active roster on BG East. Why would I try to recruit another Skip Vance? There’s already one! I try to find something completely new and original in either style or personailty. Plus, if I can imagine myself hitting the mats with a guy, he’s already got a head start. And as for experience levels, if the guy is relatively new, I certainly don’t mind sacrificing some time to train privately with him…as was the case with my two recruits…one of which is my personal trainer.

Doing naughty things with Ben Monaco

Bard: I’m certain that I’m in a long line of guys thinking about what naughty things to do with you! Since you brought it up, I’ll just say that I’ve seen a photo of your personal trainer, and I’m breathless in anticipation of seeing him wrestle! I love your approach to thinking about looking for wrestlers who bring something new and original to the scene. That’s one thing that I think BG East does possibly better than anyone else – recruit a broad variety of wrestlers across all sorts of measures, including appearance, wrestling experience, and personality. So as always you’ve been incredibly generous with your time in taking my questions again. Now that we’ve grown to know more about you in the past 6 months, what’s one more thing that fans may not yet know about you that you can tell us? Is there one more little personal detail that you can share with us to satisfy our fixations on a new wrestling fantasyman?

Ben: Always happy to take the time out for an interview with you. Now for one last little detail…hmmm…well, I guess a personal detail that I can share is that I’m single [winks]. But I suppose it’s also worth mentioning, more on the wrestling side of things, that my two recruits only have one match under their belts as of now and are itching to get even more. My trainer especially is looking for someone big enough and man enough to toss him around. Keep in mind, he’s 5’11” and 195lbs of solid, hairy beef.

Bard: Well I hope you’re single because you chose to be, because otherwise, that’s just bat shit crazy. Next interview, we’ll have to explore in more detail what qualifications it would take to get your hot ass off the market. Just to make neverland readers hate me a little (more?), let me point out that I’m looking at a photo of your personal trainer right now and swooning… a lot. However, I will honor your request not to post this photo of one of the meatiest, muscliest, hairiest cuts of prime beef I’ve seen flexing in a long, long time. I hope you’ll keep us posted about your ongoing adventures in homoerotic wrestling and recruiting. I’m following you on Twitter, and I’m crossing my fingers, hoping you start blogging on your adventures soon!

Ben: I will try to start up a blog ASAP. For now, time for me to get my winter boots out! It’s snowing here in Montreal! Have a good one Bard and we’ll talk again soon.

Ben beats the cold with memories of hot times at BG East!

Man Enough

Our Google overlords bless us with a fickle blogger interface that frequently leaves me cursing.  Typically, I think, the frustration is almost entirely on my side of the computer screen. Occasionally, however, it seems to impact neverland readers.  One reader has repeatedly pointed out that the automatic program for verifying that people who attempt to comment are, indeed, human beings, can sometimes present such blurry and obscure text to try to decipher that it’s nearly impossible.  Sorry for that. I wish I had some control over those things.  I also recently discovered that someone attempted twice to post a comment on a recent session of gushing of mine over reigning (for one more day) homoerotic wrestler of the month, Austin Wolf.

Austin Wolf not masculine?

I approved the comment, after some pause, however I don’t see it anywhere on the blog itself.  It’s in my “approved comments” list, but doesn’t show up in any post I can find.  The pause came because I’ve been rejecting comments lately that seem to me to be bitchy criticisms of wrestlers’ bodies or personalities.  Too fat.  Too skinny.  Not butch enough.  I know that a lot of the homoerotic wrestlers I write about also read this blog, and I don’t want them reading that crap.  But I went ahead and approved this comment that referred to Austin as “sexy enough, if only he weren’t so femme in person…. He is not nearly as masculine as the image he is trying to portray,” the commenter reported.  There’s just so much there to think about.  Setting aside my first question, “when have you seen him in person?” and my second question, “isn’t every expression of masculinity (or femininity) an image, a mere portrayal, or as Judith Butler has called it, a “performance?”  Whatever.  So Austin isn’t as masculine in person as he seems to appear on camera.  I guess my real question is, so what?

Rusty Stevens: masculine enough for you?

Now I’m not trying to take this commenter to task.  At all, really.  I approved the post because it provoked me to think deeper about masculinity in homoerotic wrestling.  I mean, sure, hypermasculinity is a pretty well-worn trope on our scene, so I would be entirely unsurprised to discover that any number of the meanest, baddest, most dominatingly butch heels in homoerotic wrestling history are, in their personal lives, light in the loafers and sassy as blown glass.  I don’t care what they may get up to on their own time, I might say.  Just tell me that powerful story of domination and submission, power and suffering, agony and arousal that I love so much, and what do I care how far from the mark that wrestling persona is to how they act when their sipping apple martinis at the piano bar?

Xavier: Does body hair make the man?  Big muscles?  Facial hair?

But even that isn’t really where I settled with this comment about the purported incongruity between Austin’s presentation of masculinity on and off camera.  No, I found myself challenged by the idea of masculinity itself.  We’re clearly not in a post-gender age, of course, but as for me (and I’ll speak solely for myself here), I’m not sure I’ve got the clearest hold on what comprises the polar opposites of masculinity and femininity as far as homoerotic wrestling goes.  I know of big, burly muscle bear-looking bruisers who snarl and spit and I think, hot damn, that’s one hot bit of masculine hunkiness!  But if the same burly bear wears a pink cardi and giggles like a girl when Glee comes on, I’m still fully prepared to objectify him as a no-holds-barred object of my lust.

Lon Dumont: Smooth as a baby’s bottom and over-the-top masculine in the ring.

And there are relatively petite, smooth, boyishly beautiful wrestlers who wink and grin, and when slam an opponent into the turnbuckle or bash him across his knee in an over the knee backbreaker, I think, hot damn, that’s one hot bit of masculine hunkiness!  Deep bass Boston voices.  High pitched Southern accents.   Pretty in pink.  Dangerous in black.  Go-go-boy.  Construction worker.  Limp wrist.  Football fan.  Facial hair.  Man-scaped.  Do they have a cock and tell me a hot, hot wrestling story?  I’m in.

Damien Rush was quoted recently as saying, “Let me smother you with all my masculine hair!”

So if Austin Wolf cracks an opponent’s spine over his knee, claws his crotch mercilessly, then schoolboy pins the punk with his big, gorgeous cock slapping the loser’s cheeks back and forth, and then gets up, showers off with 5 different skin care products and quotes Bette Davis movies over cosmos with all the rest of the girls… well, fuck.  It just occurred to me that I think that’s even HOTTER!

Tell me again how I’m not masculine enough for you, bitch!

Homoerotic wrestling likely reifies stereotypes of masculinity (and, by default, femininity) in many, many ways.  But I think, and I hope, that it blurs some of the old standby stereotypes as well.  I like the idea that the same mass of 6’4″ sculpted muscle can threaten to rip an opponent’s head off in a camel clutch and the next day sing along with show tunes in the car as he goes antiquing with his gurl-friends. I harbor a deep seated and not at all sublimated sexual fantasy of the rise of the muscle sculpted sissies who may be as pretty as a prima donna, but will fuck you up in a heartbeat in the ring.  Maybe I’m too old.  Or too young.  Or just don’t have the good taste to want to cling to the sharp, clean lines of gender stereotypes any longer.  But even if Austin Wolf were a flaming queen, he’d drain me dry time and time again as long as he racks another wasted loser across those mile wide shoulders of his.  Hell, I’d pay a premium, in fact!

Ask Hoop right about  now if Austin is masculine enough for him.

Masonry

Adorably Mason Brooks looks like he just stepped off the train.
Ben Monaco, bless his soul, mentioned in his embedded report from the front lines of a marathon BG East taping bonanza in September that there was a particular new slice of of babyface gold with magic nipples.  No, he clarified, it’s not the same jaw droppingly hot muscle-face that boys were sneaking peeks out of the 2nd story windows to watch his photo shoot in the backyard.  That stunner, we’ve since learned, was pretty Pete Sharp (who hates being called pretty).  No, there was a different magically nipped newbie who Ben mentioned will grab attention right around and to either side of the sternum area.  I don’t yet have independent verification (though I’m working on Ben to give me an interview any day now), but I’m strongly compelled that said rook is lean, lovely Mason Brooks, also seen in a behind-the-scenes candid shot from Ben’s camera that weekend.
Accomplished erotic wrestler Blaine Janus is unmistakably happy to see his rookie opponent.

The first BG East staple to get his fingertips on Mason’s nipples is astonishingly blue-eyed Blaine Janus, facing the raw rookie in Gazebo Grapplers 14.  My question is whether Blaine is horny for anyone who steps on the wrestling mat with him, or whether he has some sway with the BG East back office boys to get to handpick the hotties he faces.  Because one thing seems as regular as rain, Blaine is HOT for his opponents.

Blaine is very, very happy to get his hands all over Mason Brooks.

Mason is no exception to this rule.  There’s a hunger in Blaines’ eyes the moment he struts onto the mat and finds young Mason stretching his muscles.  Blaine also seems to have a taste for the freshest meat, wanting to be first to put his scent on debuting rookies like Mason.  The moment the action begins, the look of a starving man eyeing a T-bone washes over Blaine’s face as the anticipatory grin slowly stretches from ear to ear.  He wants this handsome boy in his hot wrestling singlet.  He wants to muss up his gelled hair.  He wants to dial up those nipples with both hands.  He wants to make this gorgeously innocent rookie sweat buckets so that he can skip the lube and slide straight into place.  And as is Blaine’s way, he’s not going to be happy until he’s been the first at BG East to taste this hot rookie’s sweet, sweet lips.

Not so fast!  This rookie isn’t so innocent after all.

But wait.  Did I refer to Mason Brooks as innocent?  Mere minutes into this match, the rookie neutralizes Blaine’s offense, takes him down, uses his surprisingly powerful legs to wrap up the veteran’s arms behind his back like a twist tie, and then, with a confident, easy grin of someone who’s been down this road before, he wraps his fingers slowly around Blaine’s pouch, pauses a moment, and then squeezes. I guarantee you Blaine did NOT see this coming!

Blaine wants Mason to get a good taste of humiliation.

So lovely Mason Brooks isn’t as green as we might have thought.  That doesn’t mean, of course, that Blaine Janus is any less dangerous, or passionate, as we’ve come to know and love.  I’m guessing Blaine has been in psychoanalysis, because he seems to have fully embraced his oral fixation, specifically his fixation on sweet Mason’s mouth.  Mason does not make it easy, but eventually, carefully, with several starts and stops in the mean time, Blaine finally manages to slide into place in a fantastic folded schoolboy pin, pivoting his hips forward into Mason’s face.

Surprisingly ripped Mason serves up his own dish of humiliation!

Even when young Mason was stretching out before the match, I thought this kid was delightfully handsome.  He exudes a sort of “high school kid makes a bid for erotic wrestling fame” sense about him.  He’s extremely lean.  He looks so young.  But when Blaine forcibly yanks Mason’s singlet straps off his shoulders and peels him down to bare torso, I have to reassess the situation.  Holy shit, this kid is hot!!!  His pecs are seriously sweet, and damn it all if Ben wasn’t absolutely right, there’s just something about those nipples that makes me have to swallow.  “Mouthwatering” is a good start at describing them, but just a start.

Blaine cannot keep his hands (and claws) away from the rookie’s meaty pecs

Blaine sees it too.  He grows fixated on pushing those alluring buttons on Mason’s surprisingly meaty pecs.  He also relishes clawing the big, broad, strong pecs themselves… and clawing the kid’s crotch… and taunting, daring, luring the hard fighting rookie to give Blaine’s nips some oral attention in return.

Mason’s got the situation well in hand!

But I tell you, Mason is no varsity standout thinking that amateur wrestling credibility will automatically translate to the BG East Gazebo.  The kid has either done this before, or he’s a fucking savant, because Mason draws a straight line between seriously vicious underground wrestling tactics (crotch claw, face-to-crotch head scissors, both at the same time, etc.) and homoeroticism.  He’s got a great poker face that leaves me wondering just what’s going on inside his head as Blaine gets more and more erotically explicit in his wrestling assault.  Is he flattered?  Is he as turned on as his opponent clearly is?  Or is he just one fabulously focused competitor with a truly awesome rookie arsenal for playing a randy veteran like Blaine like a player piano?

Nighty-night, Mason!

There’s nothing you can take for granted about where this match is headed, because neither hunk looks ready to admit defeat.  They get deliciously sweaty.  They’re clearly starting to wear each other out as the minutes grind by in one test of strength and skill after another.  Blaine’s got a tiger by the tail, and hard pounding Mason is just not the doe-eyed, barely legal amateur-in-over-his-head that I (or I’m guessing, Blaine) thought he was at the start.  No, he’s a seriously sexy tactician with a ground game of both amateur and underground wrestling skills that are an intoxicating mix with his unflinching, cool as ice demeanor.   Even when Blaine catches him off guard in a beautifully intimate sleeper and the rookie starts to slide into Neverland, I’m still left guessing whether Mason is as hot for this type of wrestling as he is hot at it.

The thrill of victory… the agony thrill of defeat…

Then he rouses at the touch of Blaine’s lips on his.  His hands rest at the base of Blaine’s ass.  His mouth opens slowly, but hungrily.  Mason’s on board, boys.  And with a solid foundation already in place, paired with some intimate tutoring sessions from the likes of Blaine and the other boys at BG East who I’m certain will want a piece of this kid, I think Mason, and his nipples, could make a very, very big name for himself with fans of unmistakably gay homoerotic wrestling.

Destiny

Well, my review yesterday of Thunder’s Arena’s Halloween Havoc match between Brendan Cage and Braden Charron generated the thoughtful conversation and, perhaps, a little bit of controversy.  Controversy is probably much too strong a word for it, but it’s a word that sounds like something serious and important happened, so I’ll stick with it just for the gravitas.  However, no one seemed to be too negatively provoked by my marveling at Thunder’s Arena’s Austin Wolf doing Randy Blue a few days ago, so for the moment, I’ll go back to more unanimous territory there.

Austin Wolf wrestles himself

Yowza!  I still haven’t re-upped my “premium” membership in RB, but I just discovered that my lapsed pay membership from years ago reverted to a free “basic” membership that gives me free preview pics and videos.  Score.  So I’m able to get my hands all over portions of Austin’s delightful performances, including both his solo video and his (by all appearances) aggressively hard pounding sexual domination of Nicco Sky.

Nicco Sky isn’t sure what he signed up for when Austin shoves him to his back
The closest that Randy Blue appears to get to stroking my wrestling kink with Austin is that he seems to shove and bully Nicco a bit.  Hot? Yes.  Wrestling, not quite.  He pins Nicco’s wrists over his head and climbs on top, a little fear playing across Nicco’s face as the 6’4″ muscle monster mounts him without a smile.  Damn hot? Hell yes.  Wrestling?  Still not quite.
Does this shot come in a wall-size mural format?
I’ve only seen the preview (I’m still toying with where to squeeze money out of my porn budget), so I don’t know exactly how the boys choreograph the approach to this truly awesome work of art constituting a bearhug/cock-suck/rim-job combination with an added bonus of enjoying the sight of Nicco massaging Austin’s beautiful glutes in the palms of his hands.  Wildly erotic?  Oh, fuck yes!  Wrestling?  Well, I need more context, but bear with me here…  Paint out the living room, the sofa, the rug, the sketchy art, the lamp, the houseplant.  Now paint this scene inside a wrestling ring, Austin’s feet planted in damp sweat stains, Nicco’s wrestling trunks ripped to shreds near one corner, and Austin’s trunks carefully folded on a top turnbuckle.  With me?  Why has this beast not yet been seen climbing into a wrestling ring!?
“The Wolf” would make an epic fuck-stakes finisher!

This standing fuck similarly strokes me so close to my wrestling kink that I’m left a little breathless.  Do the same background readjust, and slap the title “Catchweight XXX-Fight” on it and tell me how I’d be able to do anything other than slap Skrapper’s ass into 2nd place and crown a new favorite wrestling pornboy!? Seriously, crowdsource this question for me: has there been a standing victory fuck like this celebrating an all-stakes homoerotic wrestling ring match?  Because if not, this finisher could easily be dubbed “The Wolf” for all eternity… if a producer with vision signs this stud and get’s those gorgeous glutes inside a pro wrestling ring!

Sign this muscle hunk up yesterday!
So perhaps we don’t all agree on the line that wrestling for a gay audience shouldn’t cross when it comes to potentially sublimated wrestling kink.  But surely, in the name of all that’s good and beautiful, we can all agree that this gorgeous ass, in full contact, fuck stakes ring wrestling, would be a stroke of pure genius, can’t we? 

Austin surely knows the fickle tastes of gay fans.

Oh, who am I kidding?  There’s nothing that we can get 100% of gay men to agree on, even gay men who all have a particular hard spot for wrestling.  Austin Wolf is a slam dunk for me.  I’m tempted to just state imperially that he is, objectively, an essentially perfect specimen of a hunk who everyone in the universe MUST agree would make an earth-shattering, game changing character in the world of dicks-out homoerotic wrestling.  I will this to be true for you, dear reader!  I could be adamant, bordering on shrill, in pursuit of opening your eyes to the Platonic ideal embodied in every inch of Austin Wolf’s body and wrestling demeanor.

The homoerotic wrestler platonic ideal: Austin Wolf
Every so often I get a comment or an email essentially laying out precisely that argument for some hot stud I’ve horribly shortchanged in my reviews.  I’ve been called ignorant, tasteless, blind… any number of supposed deficiencies have been proposed to explain why my tastes are so impaired as not to recognize the perfection of the object of someone else’s raving fanaticism.  So I’ll try not to insist that you’re seriously damaged if you don’t jump on the bandwagon of pleading with the powers that be to transform this muscle god into the homoerotic wrestling god that he was meant to be from birth.  You don’t have to agree with me here.  I’ll be okay with it if you aren’t as much an Austin Wolf fanatic as I am.  But for those of you who are, and I know you’re out there, write your favorite producer of homoerotic wrestling products today (and tomorrow) and tell them to find this hunk of meat and get him in the ring.  He’s got a date with destiny, and I’m telling you, remember the title “Catchweight XXX-Fight!”

"Remember, it’s wrestling!"

Brendan Cage earned his homocredibility in the work he did in the ring for Cam-Am.  In Pro Tagteam Sex Battle 1, the handsome stud teamed up with porn tidal wave, Aryx Quinn, to physically, psychologically, and yes, sexually dominate mouthwatering former homoerotic wrestler of the month, Landon Mycles/Marcus Mojo and his partner Jake Lyons.  Brendan likes cock.  He also clearly likes pounding his cock up the ass of hot muscle hunks.  So when Brendan invaded the living room of Thunder’s Arena, I took notice.

Brendan Cage pays $400 for 25 minutes of “wrestling” with Braden Charron

Brendan brings the most overtly homoerotic element to Thunder’s Arena that I’ve seen yet.  For example, in Halloween Havoc 2012 he apparently went on the internet and found Braden Charron, looking as hard and ripped as we’ve ever seen him, advertising for some private, recreational wrestling services.  The offer of $400 by Brendan lures beautiful Braden to the Thunder’s mat room, where a hungry Brendan instantly begins to devour the tanned muscle god with his eyes.  “Pretty, pretty nice,” Brendan says with his mouth, though his eyes are screaming, Fuck, yes!  “You know a little bit about wrestling?” he asks.  Of course you and I know that Braden knows a lot about wrestling.  Or, at the very least, we can testify that Braden has logged some crazy hot hours in the ring and on the mat, for the most part getting his juicy muscle ass squashed in one bashing defeat after another at the eager hands of some of BG East’s most fierce grapplers.  “Are you ready to earn your $400 today?” Brendan asks, giving Braden an unsolicited, hearty squeeze of his huge, sculpted tricep.

“Remember, it’s wrestling!”

“Remember, it’s wrestling!” Braden cautions. “This isn’t a muscle worship thing!” And therein lies the paradox.  Thunder’s Arena is unquestionably about both wrestling and muscle worship.  It’s unmistakably pitched directly at a gay wrestling kink audience.  But typically Thunder’s relies on us to read between the lines, to supply our own heat to the pounding muscles of their strong suit: massive, meaty bodybuilders going toe-to-toe in mostly fun-and-games wrestling with frequent drift into selling competition, egos, and lusty desires to dominate.  It’s wrestling.  Undoubtedly.  It’s also “a muscle worship thing,” despite Braden’s protest.  But lately Brendan Cage is connecting the implicit and explicit stories written into the fabric of Thunder’s Arena more openly and enthusiastically than I’ve seen before.  In some ways, he embodies the role that Thunder’s plays in the homoerotic wrestling genre, creating a virtual universe in which straight bodybuilders grapple lightheartedly in g-strings and speedos, explicitly staying this side of “straight” wrestling, while giving an unmistakable nod to the other side of that line, where the homoeroticism of wrestling draws those like you and me.  Brendan’s frequent eyebrow wags at the camera are not-so-subtle signals that he’s turned on by beautiful Braden.  He’s offered $400 for a private session not just to wrestle, but to feed a hunger for getting his hands all over big Braden’s famously hot bod.  In short, Brendan is one of us, my friends, and he’s slipped in the back door of Thunder’s Arena to enjoy the fratboy hijinks there the way you and I have been imagining for ourselves for years.

Braden cops a feel, here or there, tempting Brendan farther down the path…

He wraps his arms around Braden  almost lovingly and turns him to the camera.  Brendan’s bright, blue eyes give us a knowing wink as he reaches around and feels Braden’s famously luscious pecs.  “Remember… wrestling,” Braden warns.  “I know, I know… I’m just fucking with you,” Brendan says with a smirk, wagging his eyebrows at the camera once more.

“Yeah, I’m ready, but this ain’t touchy-feely!”

It’s Brendan’s $400, so Braden obeys his instructions to get down on all fours.  Brendan slides in behind him, pressing his crotch against Braden’s fantasyman ass and sliding his hand slowly around the muscle hunk’s narrow waist in order to squeeze his right pec.  “Just let me know when you’re ready,” Brendan purrs.  Braden growls threateningly, “Yeah, I’m ready, but this ain’t touchy-feely!”  “I know!” Brendan grins, “this is the position you get in.  This is called the opening stance.”  He digs his fingers into Braden’s massive traps.

There’s a fine line between a passionate hug and an erotic bearhug.

“Is this opening stance or a massage!?” Braden protests again.  But he doesn’t flinch, really.  He doesn’t shove Brendan’s exploring hand away.  So Brendan slaps Braden’s ass. When Braden doesn’t complain, he slaps it again.  “Cut the shit, and let’s wrestle!” Braden snaps, his patience finally wearing thin.  He wants to wrestle, and just playing a game of ass-grab isn’t on the menu (so maybe it’s actually Braden who’s really “one of us” in this scenario!).

“You really don’t like this!?” Brendan asks incredulously.

They do wrestle, and it’s hot action.  Brendan hoists his musclebunny off his feet in a lovely bear hug, before slamming his back to the mat and mounting his ass provocatively.  He spends a lot (alotalotalot) of the 24 minutes of this match mounted across Braden’s back, shoving the muscleboy’s face into the mat and grinding his crotch into Braden’s bubble-muscle-butt.  He keeps dialing up the sexual tension, groaning lustfully as he pumps his hips, until he crosses some invisible line that pisses Braden off.  Where is that line, up to which Braden will permit Brendan to stroke, squeeze, and grind, but beyond which he’s not willing to go, even for $400?  That’s pretty much the eternal question gay man have been asking through the ages, haven’t they, playing fratboy hijinks with their macho buddies, psychologically masterbating off of the sublimated intimacy while upping the ante, bit by bit, to test whether the defensive heterosexuality is merely a veneer overtop of a deep down cocklust?

“Yeah, come on, that don’t bother ya!”

Braden catapults Braden off of him when near-pin morphs into a some rousing worship of his massive biceps and sculpted pecs.  “That’s not my thing!” Braden protests.  “If I wanted a massage, I’d go down the street.”  “Take it easy man, take it easy,” Brendan smirks, reminding Braden he’s earning $400 to walk that fine line with him.  Brendan’s rides the wave across most of the best of what Braden offers, including those mountainous biceps and pecs, but also including slapping and even kissing his ass. “You really don’t like this?” Brendan asks, his crotch pressed tightly against Braden’s ass as he squeezes tight to a full nelson.  “Really?” he repeats incredulously.  Braden complains, “I just thought we were gonna wrestle!”

“Oh, yeah, it’s just wrestling, man!” Brendan mocks.

Of course, 30 seconds later, Braden is the one who’s the first to rip off his opponent’s baggy shorts to reveal Brendan’s speedo underneath.  The smile that stretches across Brendan’s surprised face is priceless.  He spins around in shock and gives Braden another appraising look.  Is he, or isn’t he?  Just how far can he take this mouthwatering brick house?!  “Oh, yeah, it’s just wrestling, man!” Brendan mocks, even as Braden immediately starts to protest that he’s just here for above board athletic competition.  Sensing a green light to go another block, Brendan returns the favor and peels Braden down to a bikini-bottom.  “This is good!” Brendan laughs.  “You’re having fun with me right? You’re having fun?”  Braden isn’t exactly enthusiastic in response, but he doesn’t quite give his lustful benefactor the red light, either.

Brendan leans in extra close in a distracted test of strength

A test of strength looks like Brendan is in way over his head as Braden begins to power up, but when the salt-n-pepper daddy leans in and rests his cheek on the muscleboy’s flexing pec, Braden loses his concentration and quickly ends up on his back again.  “Look at that muscle!” Brendan marvels, pinning his opponent’s wrists to the mat.  He leans in and kisses Braden’s right bicep.  “Does that bother you?” he asks, doing the same to the left bicep.  He slides his hips forward and rests his pouch on Braden’s chin, laughing.  “You gotta admit, this is pretty fun!”  Braden grimaces and turns his mouth away, but he doesn’t exactly “say no.”  “Does that bother ya?” Brendan asks, slapping Braden’s cheeks with his cock stretching the fabric of his speedo.  “Yeah, come on, that don’t bother you.  I know how you are.”

“I’ll keep feelin’; you keep squeezin’!”

Braden acknowledges the attention that Brendan is paying to his stunningly hot legs and offers his benefactor the opportunity to feel their power in a headscissors.  “Yeah, okay!” Brendan accepts eagerly.  Brendan strokes his opponent’s muscles wrapped around his skull lustily, making Braden threaten to squeeze harder.  “Go ahead!” Brendan says through clenched teeth.  “I’ll keep feelin’, you keep squeezin’!”  The headscissors turns into a schoolboy pin, with Braden slapping his low-hanging pouch across his opponent’s cheeks in retribution.  “Remember that? This is the way you like it, right?” The smile stretched across Brendan’s face is a crystal clear answer.

This is, most definitely, the way Brendan likes it!

What else do you get for $400 and 25 minutes with Braden Charon?  Brendan requests the pleasure of being captured in Braden’s side headlock and trying to escape.  Braden crushes him mercilessly, though the proximity of Brendan’s captured face to his opponent’s bulging pouch doesn’t seem to be entirely “punishment.”  Later, Braden allows Brendan to stroke his washboard abs for a few seconds before saying, “Okay, that’s enough of that.”  Stroke his abs? No, but Braden will let you punch his abs.  And he’ll raise his arms and let you lift him off his feet in a bearhug, and then treat you to the same just to show you what it feels like to have all that muscle wrapped around you.

$200, right?

“Come here, man.  That’s good.  That was very fun!” Brendan finally embraces his wrestle rentboy, slapping him on those pecs he so admires.  But wait, was it $400 or $200 they agreed on?  When Braden confesses he doesn’t actually have $400 on him, he may have crossed the line once and for all.  Trying to bargain Braden down after the fact earns a suddenly panicked Brendan a fireman’s carry out of Thunder’s Arena to be forcibly transported to the nearest ATM to pay up.

There’s a morality tale or two in this match.  There’s something here to be said about the dangers of playing the “just how straight are you?” game with your buddies.  Of course, real fans who know of Braden’s work from his Randy Blue days know that he’ll go a lot farther, but presumably $400 won’t cover the ground he staked out for RB.   I also think there’s a morality tale about walking that delicate line between appealing to a homoerotic wrestling audience while simultaneously appealing to a more closeted, just-this-side-of-the-line gay audience whose closet boundaries may be less threatened by strictly straight-up wrestling than full on porn.  It’s a dangerous line to walk, with pitfalls both for straying too close or keeping too safe a distance away from the line.  I have to think that there a lot of you who are like me (and Brendan) who harbor a serious lust to see the beautiful bodybuilders of Thunder’s Arena more exposed, infused with more erotic content, slapped down, felt up, squeezed and kissed in exchange for suffering domination at the hands of a randy wrestling opponent.  I for one am glad to see someone like Brendan Cage facing the danger head on and pushing that line (both Braden’s and Thunder’s).