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Two Great Tastes – Part 2

May 28, 2015 wrestlebardLeave a comment

I always feel like I need to apologize to pretty Pete Sharp’s baby blue eyes, his full lips, his sculpted torso, and his gorgeous ass. Because I struggle to tear my eyes away from, much less write much about anything other than that magnificent, mountainous, mouthwatering, award-winning Best Bulge of 2014.

His ring gear in his match again Lon Dumont (same he wore against Braden in Jobberpaloozer 13) does not accentuate his gargantuan package as much as his mat gear does. However, I have a hard time imagining what gear could manage to disguise that massive ballast he’s stowing in the front of his trunks.

Pete is wild card, it seems to me. He’s been bested more than he’s come out on top in his young career with BG East, but at no point has he ever failed to earn respect. His natural habitat seems to me to be on the mats. He seems more settled inside that flawless skin of his when he’s barefoot. There’s a shade more uprightness about his bearing in boots and inside the ring. Lon seems to be certain that he’s got the bronzed god’s number, alluding to some tag team collaboration they’ve had somewhere that went terribly awry (read: they lost, and Lon is convinced it was the rookie’s fault). Lon promises to take the dazzlingly beautiful hunk back to first grade, reviewing the basics of professional wrestling for the aspiring grappler. He promises to exact just a little retribution for the humiliation of being yoked to Pete’s rookie mistakes in some indy pro tag team match I’m guessing we will never see. But best of all, Lon promises that nothing short of total submission will count in this match. In other words, these two shining, gorgeous specimens of muscle are in a forced-to-flex match!

0215_med — Pretty Pete turns fucking fierce!

All of that beauty, the dreamy eyes, the tasteful ink, the pumped and glistening muscles seem to inevitably make opponents discount pretty Pete Sharp from the start. And it’s true, looking that pretty is frequently a one-way ticket to an ass-kicking in these parts. But Lon discovers instantly that the ass kicking is a two way street on this fine day, and big, powerful, blindly beautiful Pete goes full throttle all over the lightweight bodybuilder.

Lon is incensed. I love that moment when an opponent nudges Lon over the edge of calm, rational calculation. He morphs from pedantic college professor into vile, heartless heel in the blink of an eye. And holy fuck, does he go to town on pretty Pete. I think Lon has his BG East fans in mind as he manages to twist and rip and pry apart Pete’s phenomenal physique at all the right angles. He bends him over backward, threatening to rip the rookie’s head off, and not accidentally showing off that fan favorite huge package along the way. He repeatedly ties the golden hunk up in the ropes, torturing the beautiful kid like a vision of St. Sebastian.

And Pete sells the suffering sweetly. I could almost feel sorry for the battered hunk… if I weren’t so damned turned on by the sight of him so bashed and controlled so completely. True to his word, Lon manages to zero out the advantages that pretty Pete has in sheer size and raw strength. I confess to having a warm and moist spot for a smaller opponent totally dominating a big, ripped, superhero-looking stud like Pete.

0717_lg — Pete slaps the veteran heel down hard!

Thing is, Pete’s a fighter. There’s no point at which you should count him out until the camera turns off, because he keeps coming back. He keeps upending the veteran heel. He keeps defying him, refusing to be crushed. And out of nowhere, he puts my long-time infatuation on his shoulders and pounds out a stunning 3-count.

0713_lg — So much muscle locked in such an intimate embrace!

Pete’s bronzed muscles soaked in sweat are dizzying. His astonishing refusal to play the cowed rookie is breathtaking. And while, sure, watching Lon ride him like a bronco is at the top of my list of favorite things, I’m loving the suspense that these two weave, earning begrudging respect from one another and total, slack jawed adoration from me.

Now let’s put Pete back into his mat gear!

Two Great Tastes – Part 1Out

May 27, 2015May 27, 2015 wrestlebardLeave a comment

The second match on Lon Dumont’s Wrestler Spotlight features two of my favorite things in the world: Lon Dumont and Pete Sharp’s award winning package.

First, let me just reiterate why I find Lon so compelling: aesthetics and attitude. His body is phenomenal. As a competitive bodybuilder, Lon brings a rare level of muscle quality and leanness to the ring. There are plenty of guys bigger, of course. But as Lon points out to his opponents often, there’s a difference between size and functional strength. And as I’m often reminded, lost in reverie admiring his body, there’s a difference between muscle mass and muscle beauty. Lon is one fantastically beautiful muscle man.

h0208_lg — Lon typically controls his opponents and owns every corner of the ring.

There’s nothing wasted about Lon’s physicality. There’s no ounce of weight or inch of topography that isn’t devoted single-mindedly to the construction of a gorgeously proportioned physique. The manner in which he deploys all of that beautiful muscle is similarly efficient. His attacks are quick and incapacitating. Every hold is strategically timed to climax into maximal brutality. He’s decisive, calculating, and with both hands in control of the momentum in the ring, I don’t think there’s anyone else that holds my attention or takes my breath away quite as commandingly.

h0206_lg — Lon exploits the small things, like raking pretty Pete’s baby blues with his taped wrists.

Then there’s that attitude. I’ve had the immense pleasure of meeting Mr. Dumont in person, and I’m delighted to report that his larger than life personality, his command of the room, his emotional presence is as powerful in real life as it is in the ring. Intellectually, Lon is always on the move from one place to another, and in the ring that translates to an awesome capacity to weave a narrative, to build suspense, to convey character and plot structure that turn the passion play of homoerotic wrestling into captivating melodrama. There’s a start, middle and finish to Lon’s matches, carried through by a fantastic skill in possessing character motivation and embodying a back story. Throughout his long awaited (by me) Wrestler Spotlight, Lon is at the top of his game from every angle.

Like manna from heaven, Lon announces that his battle with pretty Pete is going to be a forced-to-flex match. I’m not sure there’s ever been a more perfect pair to exploit forced-to-flex better. Lon is absolutely dwarfed by his big, stunning, bronze opponent, but that attitude of Lon’s seems to even the odds. And then some. I tend to believe the words that come of Lon’s mouth as gospel, so when he promises to take Pete to school like a naughty truant, I’m just praying there’s some big, pendulous ball claws involved in the coming discipline.

h0701_lg — When Lon attempts an Irish whip, he discovers that moving this mountain of muscle is going to be a lot harder than it looks.

According to Lon, pretty Pete is a weak link. Lon’s given the gorgeous stunner a shot at glory, apparently even tag teaming with Lon in an indy match. But all that promise and muscle on Pete weren’t sufficient to hold up his end of the bargain. Lon berates the bronze beauty. He goes probably a step too far in pronouncing Pete an ugly brute (show me an inch of ugly on Pete, anywhere!!!). He predicts that his ring savvy and superior intellect will enable the veteran to not just punish pretty Pete for his disappointment as a tag team partner, not just teach the blue eyed bombshell some much needed lessons in pro wrestling technique, but Lon assures the dazzling hottie that he will possess him, body and soul, and transform the very essence of Pete’s power into the vehicle of his utter humiliation.

0708_lg — Outmuscling Lon is child’s play for big, beautiful Pete Sharp!

They start to tangle, and Pete completely overpowers the lightweight bodybuilder. Lon charges again and again, only to be swatted away like a gnat. Suddenly, Pete snatches him up in the air, calmly marches across the ring and plants the veteran on his ass atop the top turnbuckle. With a sly, cocky grin, Pete musses Lon’s long locks like playfully chastising a child. Holy fuck, I love this drama!

Tomorrow, I’ll muse a little longer on the most prominent bulge in wrestling, and exactly why I love these two stunningly hot wrestlers going pec to pec.

Happy Birthday

May 16, 2015 wrestlebard5 Comments

It was 6 years ago yesterday that I sat down and found my first words to begin a conversation about what turns me on. The quick answer then, as now, is that it’s complicated. Of course, “beautiful men wrestling in a homoerotic context” are at the heart of pretty much everything that I’ve written about. But if it were truly that simple, I can’t imagine that I’d have kept posting for 6 years. The pages of this blog have become considerably more self-disclosing than I’d ever imagined 6 years ago. Faithful readers know way more about me than 90% of the people I interact with in person.

One of the somewhat unexpected pleasures of this journey has been hearing from readers who’ve said, “Hey, that’s my story, too!” As much as I make everything about me, a lot of others have seen something true about themselves as well. As idiosyncratic and kink-marginal as I’ve always thought of my erotic fantasies, I’m clearly in good and abundant company with homoerotic wresting fans across the globe.

This is the first neverland birthday since my fellow homoerotic wrestling blogger, Joe, shuddered Ringside at Skull Island. I’ve thought of Joe as my big brother in this adventure, setting the pace, typically a step ahead of me, but cut from the very same cloth. Not infrequently over the past 6 years, I struggled to say something different than what Joe had already said so perfectly about the homoerotic wrestling industry, about pop culture, about bodies and beauty and wrestling holds and kink. Working to make a contribution to the conversation without simply repeating what Joe had already said made neverland what it is as much as anything else did. With Joe on hiatus from blogging these 6 years later, I feel just a tad untethered as I think about the future of neverland.

I’m excited to see what the future holds for neverland. Life is pulling me a lot of different directions offline, but I remain committed to keeping the conversation going. Where these musings take me next, I honestly don’t know. But looking back at the journey these past 6 years, I’m happy to say it’s been good. Thanks for being part of it.

Hammer Time

April 24, 2015 wrestlebard5 Comments

andy — Andy Hammer is beautiful, young, ripped, and soaked in sweat.

The newbies have been commanding my attention in the new releases at BG East. Even newbies who’ve been around a while! By that, I’m referring to watching veterans Blaine Janus and Andy Hammer go at one another in Matmen 25, apparently pulled from the archives back when both of them were just babies.

There are hints of the accomplished fan favorites they will grow to become. Blaine is intense as hell and constantly looking like he can’t decide whether to submit Andy or just go directly to fucking him. Andy is a vision. Tanned, ripped, ferocious, and already looking like he’s learning to seriously savor the sweet bouquet of his own anguish. But this is so clearly from very early in their wrestling careers. They’re raw, occasionally clumsy, still learning to pace themselves, execute a finisher, know when to lose a battle in order to win a war.

andy4 — Andy repeatedly smothers Blaine with his big, beautiful bulge.

Somehow, I had missed the part of Andy Hammer’s resume that indicates he’s one of the Boss’ special projects. The online description for Matmen 25 points out that Andy’s phenomenal capacity, nay, carnal delight in taking a tidal wave of hurt comes from Kid Leopard’s up close and personal training sessions. Like tumblers clicking in a lock, this suddenly makes so much sense. His combo of balls out, intense offense paired with an unmistakable enjoyment of being pushed to the edge of human endurance is exactly what I’d expect from a beautiful, blond, blue-eyed, bubble-butted babyface who’s graduated from Kid Leopard’s personal wrestling tutorials.

blaine2 — Andy learned a thing or two from the master!

I’m not used to seeing Blaine get knocked on his ass so commandingly, which makes this romp from the time machine that much more engaging. When Andy has his foot on the gas pedal, which is most of this match, Blaine is sore pressed to keep up. It’s a fierce shoot with trading momentum back and forth, but early on I feel like there’s a surprising inevitability about Andy’s performance. This is the first match I’ve seen where, early going, I think Blaine very well might get crushed in a lopsided schooling, if not a full blown squash.

andy5 — Slowly, savoring the moment, Blaine pulls his mouthwatering prey close.

Something inspires the erotic mat warrior we’ve come to know and love in Blaine to finally show his face, though. At one point, when he’s finally, slowly, painstakingly maneuvered his prey into a sensationally vulnerable rear naked choke, with Andy’s torso locked down tight between Blaine’s thighs, the Canuck leans his face in close and starts nibbling seductively on his gorgeous opponent’s earlobes. There’s the Blaine Janus we know and love!

They may be diamonds in the rough at this point, but the wrestling here is sensationally brutal. I think about half a dozen times that one or the other of them has got control permanently in hand, but then an awesomely vicious pec claw or a savage, no-shit-that-really-happened jab to the testicles pushes reset and they scramble all over again to come out on top.

andy7 — Clearly, Blaine isn’t the only one who can mount a disarmingly hot erotic offense.

I’ve been a Blaine Janus fan for a long time. His catalog is populated with some of the most arousing homoerotic mat wrestling that I’ve seen. I’ve loved watching him poke and prod and drive rookies crazy with his disarming erotic offense. His work initiating Mason Brooks is outstanding, and his breaking in of incredibly sexy Rafael Valmor (where the hell has that sexpot gone!?) requires IV fluids to keep me hydrated. But Matmen 25 is my first full blown gasp and awe session with beautiful Andy Hammer. This man-boy is phenomenal! His physical conditioning here is epic. His astonishingly blue eyes and boyishly handsome face are achingly sweet. His light, golden tan is pitch perfect, and his ass is solid, masterfully molded, rock hard muscle.

blaine3 — Andy Hammer has one at least one new fawning fan!

This match ends perfectly. The final fall is decisive, but the crotch grinding and face sucking that follows is the real climax. At least for me. And anyone else who sees the unbroken through-line from trash talking young studs sizing one another up all the way to just one of them climbing on top and taking full possession of the other. All of the essential elements of homoerotic wrestling gold are right here.

andy10

Cold Comfort

April 23, 2015 wrestlebard1 Comment

My circles are quivering with excitement at the news out this week that Marvel’s Iceman was outed/came out in the newest reboot of X-Men comics. This doesn’t cut me to the core quite as much as it does to many of my friends who are much more fanatical about superhero comics. It does titillate me, though, particularly when I think about the possibilities of Shawn Ashmore exploring this plot twist on the big screen. I won’t hold my breath. But considering Shawn has a perfectly equally beautiful twin brother actor, and the capacity of superhero universes to bend time and space and big screen adaptations to star multiple actors playing the same character opposite one another, let’s just consider a self-actualized Iceman ‘mo helping a still-closeted Iceman to come to terms. And it all devolves into a supersexy Bobby-on-Bobby popsicle sucking contest.

subzero10 — Eye of the Cyclone’s SubZero took some nasty ball bashing before escaping the tortures of his archenemy, XTractor.

Just me? Well, homoerotic superhero and wrestling fans can get a little assistance with their Iceman fantasies by strolling over to Eye of the Cyclone and checking out this week’s release in the “Hard as Ice” serial starring SubZero. I’ve marveled at this particular narrative before. Well, let’s be honest, I’ve marveled at SubZero’s crazy sexy body and, in particular, that phenomenal ass. I popped my cork when SubZero barely escaped his battle with XTactor, returning to his secret Ice Cave lair and quickly stripping naked to shower off the stink of getting seriously dominated by his archenemy.

subzero9 — SubZero just can’t stop flexing and worshipping his own phenomenal physique!

What SubZero failed to notice, however, is that one of XTractor’s devilish little cybermites hitched a ride along with SubZero back to his lair. Even as smoking hot, ice cold SubZero steams up the place entirely naked except for his minuscule mask (sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy shower scene!), that vicious looking little parasite climbs up the shower wall and launches itself precisely where my eyes are fixated: SubZero’s gorgeous bubble butt!

subzero4 — I’m not the only one intent on exploring that bubble butt!

SubZero apparently doesn’t realize what it is tickling his prostate, and he doesn’t seem to need to ask any questions. Anally stimulated to cruel perfection, the master of ice can’t help himself but grab hold of every succulent inch of his fantasy physique. He squeezes his gorgeous glutes (I’m way ahead of him there), and then turns around to reveal a roaring, raging, beautifully aroused cock.

With something unexpected up his ass, SubZero is in ecstasy, dropping to his knees, working his popsicle like a piston, self-stimulating his asshole, enthralled with his own naked perfection reflected up at him in the mirrored ice floor of his shower. This is phenomenal staging! I’m admiring nearly every perfected angle of this hunk’s beauty at the same time. The masked ice cold hottie explodes, losing his load across the mirrored floor. Of course, these are still frames and text, but damn it if this hunk doesn’t sell this lovely, long cum shot to perfection!

Spent and satisfied, SubZero is astonished to discover the vile cybermite crawling out of his ass, slurping up some supercum, and transporting back to his evil master with SubZero sperm filed away for some genetically diabolical scheme. Which brings me back to the potential for an icy hot superhero homoerotic self-confrontation, if XTractor does some fancy cloning shenanigans. The possibility of seeing SubZero’s lovely rod up SubZero’s incredible ass seems inevitable…

subzero3 — Every angle of SubZero is supersexy!

…at least in my imagination.

Sleeping Through the Alarm

April 22, 2015 wrestlebardLeave a comment

Look at this,” Mutant flashes his gargantuan biceps. “I’m the best in the ring. Look at these arms!?” he marvels almost disbelievingly at his own magnificence. Mutant is, indeed, a marvel. There’s something almost too big about him, like he’s wearing an inflatable muscle suit. But time and time again, tested and not infrequently bested in the wrestling ring, we’ve seen abundant proof that everything about Mutant is grade A beef, ready to be tenderized and chewed up.

zzzz2 — Muscle Master Kevin puts the big man out cold. Repeatedly.

Of course a physique star who presumes to monologue that he’s “the best in the ring” is going to garner the attention of Muscle Domination Wrestling top heels, and there are none topper than Muscle Master Kevin himself. Kevin can be seen sliding into the ring quietly behind Mutant as the beefcake poses for the camera. Suddenly, Kevin slides his gloved hand across the muscle man’s mouth, pinching his nose, completely cutting off all sources of oxygen to feed his hungry mutant muscles. “Look at those arms, indeed,” Kevin smirks, smothering the stunned muscle stud and quickly making Mutant’s knees buckle. “Look at those muscles go nice and limp.” When I say Mutant goes out quickly, I mean really, really, quickly. Kevin says that he has “special gloves” guaranteed to make short order of a massive mountain of muscle like Mutant. Perhaps there’s a little chloroform on them, because Mutant drops like a sack of potatoes with astonishing speed. He’s out. Way out, and flat on his back with Kevin posing over top of him and trash talking like only MMK can.

zzzz4 — Mutant’s deflated muscles highlight Kevin’s hot, flexed beef.

Kevin impatiently urges Mutant to gather his wits about him as he rouses. “I want to see those cocky muscles deflate time and time again.” And that sentence, my friends, is the cliff notes to this match. If you want to see a mountain of muscle go limp over and over, Zzzz 4 is right up your alley. Kevin enjoys applying a half a dozen or more variations on sleepers and chokes, tipping giant Mutant over the edge of unconsciousness repeatedly. Like a cat playing with an all-but-dead mouse, MMK exercises complete control of his prey for his (and our) sadistic delight.

zzzz10 — Brutalizing a helpless muscle phenom.

The payoff for wrestling fans isn’t just the repeated sleepers, though I know plenty of homoerotic wrestling fans with a special kink for watching that money shot of a powerful gladiator going limp and helpless. For my money, I also enjoy the humiliation of watching Kevin exploit his often slowly rousing, sometimes still completely out cold “opponent,” applying vicious holds, dragging the barely clad beauty across the ring, hanging him like drapes from the ropes. It’s not like a full nelson or a kneeling surfboard are technically “offense” in this scenario, because Mutant is toast from start to finish. He’s not being “worn down” by these brutal, joint wrenching, soul crushingly painful manipulations of his magnificent body. It’s just gravy, with MMK milking the muscle exploitation theme for every ounce of homoerotic wrestling nutrition you’re hungering for.

zzzz8 — Mutant, literally, sleepwalks through this match almost from start to finish.

I have one buyer beware caution, and one catty bitch complaint to level, because Zzzz 4 does a whole lot for me, but there are a couple of distractions. First my word of caution. If one-sided muscle squashes leave you limp, this, like most of MMK’s matches, are not your cup of tea. There are moments when the extremely up-close camera work here catches Mutant looking a little less like he’s dazed and a little more like he’s a little bored with his sorry lot in this match. Honestly, when was the last time Kevin was on camera in even the slightest jeopardy? I think his parallel industries of muscle domination kink and muscle domination wrestling kink seriously limit what Kevin can offer wrestling fans, because he seems constitutionally self-prohibited from being at risk on camera. I pretty much get it. Before he was wresting, Kevin was seducing hardcore fanatics of being dominated by a blue eyed babyfaced muscle god with (literally) in your face psychological and physical intimidation. His bread and butter has long been stroking the kink of those who want to be dominated by him, who want to be conquered by his bulging muscles and torrent of trash talk, who are slack-jawed betas to his persistent “alpha dog” performance art. I have to imagine it could damage the brand in that arena for fans to see him lose, hell, even suffer a little in the wrestling ring. So yeah, I get it. MMK on offense, in total control, dominating and destroying and taking full possession of a magnificent muscle specimen is part of the entire MMK empire. But you know me, and I know at least some of you, so if you’ve been waiting for MDW and MMK in particular to wade deeper into the drama of wrestling competition storytelling, keep waiting.

zzzz9 — Call the homoerotic wrestling fashion police!!!!!!

And I feel like I’m being bitchy when I say for the second time in a handful of weeks that there’s a major gear fail that’s distracting me. It’s not the barely there leopard print jock strap that Mutant is bulging out of, of course. It’s the not-so-tighty off-whities that Kevin has donned for this match. They’re gathered, elasticized, built for sucking tight to a hot bod like designer briefs do. The only problem is that they’re a size too big for Kevin. They sag in all the wrong places. Kevin has undergone some impressive muscle reformation in the past year of so, so perhaps this is symptom of his wardrobe still catching up to his redistribution of muscle and mass. But these briefs give the unfortunate (and false) impression that Kevin has no ass, and the bunching and gathering at the legs cast an illusion that his hunky, hairy thighs are somehow skinny and underdeveloped. Let me reiterate here, before MMK fans grab their pitchforks (too late, I’m sure), that I adore Kevin’s body. I’ve offered to suck Kev’s mouthwatering nipples raw and worship his bulges and peaks for days, and to his credit, Kevin confirmed that if a certain blogger ever found his way into his ring, he might just have to make that happen. So I am not complaining about anything at all about Kevin’s hot, bulging body. It’s just those fucking briefs!

zzzz5 — Mutant is ripped and helpless for your pleasure.

Like your cat, Kevin lays his conquered prey out and proudly displays for you, his fanatical audience, the prize. Mutant is, indeed, a sight for sore eyes, all of that superhuman muscle brutalized, owned, and defenseless at Kevin’s feet. And clearly there’s not been nearly enough of a neverland reader campaign to demand that blogger muscle worship session that Kevin teased when I interviewed him a couple of years ago. As is so often the case, this MDW new release doesn’t do everything for me, but it does do some things very well. Now, let’s burn those fucking briefs and get MMK a (blogger) stylist.

zzzz3 — MDW puts you right where you want to be.

More than Skin Deep

April 17, 2015 wrestlebard3 Comments

Of the many things I’ve learned about sophomore heel rising Kayden Keller, he’s demonstrated repeatedly that he has phenomenal taste in wrestlers. Like me, Kayden was impressed with the blue-eyed, blond powerhouse rookie debut of big Biff Farrell. But in Kayden’s opinion, even gorgeous Biff’s earth shaking entry into homoerotic wrestling takes a back seat to another debut in BG East’s catalog 108.

Stunningly handsome, silky smooth Chet Chastain is Kayden’s pick for hottest new hunk mixing it up in the BG East ring. It’s not hard to see why. Damn, this stud is dazzlingly pretty! And making his debut in BG East’s newest genre of heel on heel brutality, clearly tasty Chet arrives on the scene already minted as a fresh, promising heel. Built like that? A face like that? And down and dirty vile disdain for the dignity of his opponents?! Is it hot in here, or is it just Chet Chastain?

If there’s anyone who should be fucking furious right about now, it’s Chet’s Heel Bash 1 opponent, fellow rookie heel Dolph Danner. Dolph is a hot, intimidating, remarkably powerful newbie. He’s instantly one of the fiercest bad asses in contention. He’s lean, long, and illustrated. On another day, I have to imagine I (and perhaps Kayden) would be musing about how decisively dastardly Dolph knocked my socks off. But timing is everything.

Rookie on rookie action is a rare treat that I love. As Chet and Dolph smirk and strut, sizing each other up and immediately waging psychological warfare before laying a hand on each other, I’m fully engaged in anticipation of all of this untested promise. They both have ice in their veins. They both promise to fuck the other up, and there’s something about the delivery that convinces me that they’ve fucked up more than their fair share of opponents in the past. These guys clearly have arrived with luggage full of ring experience, and they quickly sell a three dimensional narrative.

chet8 — Dolph likes something pretty trapped between his thighs. And speaking of between his thighs, Chet spends 1/3 of this match spread eagled in one way or another!

The action is extremely hard hitting and high impact. Early on, I’m expecting that Chet may be about to have the pretty smacked right off that beautiful face. Dolph just has the look of a beast emerging from the shadows of a back alley, and Chet is just so fucking pretty! Have I mentioned that Chet is pretty? Chet is pretty. And Dolph looks like he enjoys making ugly happen.

chet3 — Rub ever so slightly, and you’ll find a dark, vicious heel under all of that distractingly dazzling pretty on Chet!

But Chet is no babyface jobber, by any stretch of the imagination. He goes toe to toe with his taller opponent, and no shit, Chet is confident, calculating, and laser focused. There’s this intensity that descends like a cloud over his handsome features when you can see a deep down raging sadist shine through all of that dazzling beauty. He likes to hurt people. He fucking loves it. There’s a lustfulness about his brutality, an aching desire in the way he wrenches Dolph’s joints in the wrong direction, that’s entrancing to watch.

chet4 — Chet’s promise as a heel could be seriously jeopardized by how insanely sexy he looks trapped in the ropes.

If there’s one potentially catastrophic roadblock in the way of Chet’s ascendency in the ranks of homoerotic wrestling heels, it’s that he looks so insanely hot suffering. He looks genuinely shocked when dastardly Dolph starts to manhandle him. Just finding himself overpowered and at his opponent’s mercy appears to be so unfamiliar to this ripped, beautiful athlete that his eyes grow wide as he desperately tamps down moments of panic. That silky smooth, golden hued, classically proportioned body of his rises to the level of high art when he’s trapped in the ropes, hanging helpless, or slowly morphing from flexed muscle god to soft, slack stud on the brink of unconsciousness. This hunk has a phenomenal range, and if anything, I think the homoerotic wrestling world struggles most with recruiting and holding tight to highly skilled wrestlers who can sell suffering and inspire a thousand erotic fantasies while doing it. I’m always partial to a gorgeously muscled babyface heel, mind you. But seeing Chet writhe and wriggle on the line, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a mass uprising of fans pleading to see him get taken down again and again and again.

chet10 — Look this up in the dictionary under “mouth watering!”

Both Dolph and Chet are fantastic trash talkers. They’re awesomely comfortable in the ring. They know their own bodies. They are aggressive, decisive, and highly skilled professional wrestlers. They tell a captivating story of young, brash, sadistic warriors forced to debut against one another, promising to leave only one of them with an unblemished claim to stand on the heel side of the dance floor. Two phenomenal debuts.

chet9 — There’s something simultaneously beautiful and vilely ugly about Chet when he tries to rip Dolph’s face off.

So I won’t be surprised a bit if I hear that Dolph Danner is pissed as hell to hear fans like me left absolutely infatuated with the beauty and the potential of ridiculously handsome Chet Chastain. I haven’t heard a word from Kayden Keller about his opinions on Dolph. Which sounds to me like the perfect prelude to Heel Bash 2. And just to stir the pot, I’m going to say here and now that unlike Kayden, I have to give the edge to blond bombshell big Biff Farrell as the most impressive ring debut in catalog 108. His hairy thighs with meat draping luxuriously off the bone left me only marginally more infatuated than with devastatingly handsome Chet. But if Chet and Biff need to fight it out face to face to determine which of them is the hottest new commodity at BG East, I’ll keep an open mind.

chet — Chet Chastain will command your respect.

TBT

April 16, 2015April 16, 2015 wrestlebard7 Comments

I had a birthday a couple of days ago. One more year older, one more year closer to perfection. Someone who knows of my infatuation with BG East classics and glimpses behind the scenes gifted me with a few pics I’ve never seen before featuring homoerotic wrestling hunks who have populated my erotic fantasies for nearly 2 decades. Now that’s a birthday present! Knowing the perfect surprise gift to give is surely the sign of a true friend. So climb into your way-back machine and vicariously enjoy my thrill when I received these hot, mostly candid pics of sizzlingly sexy wrestling titans of yesterday (and a couple, still of today!).

Scan 11 — Ian Nesbitt, Sean Patrick, Kid Vicious and Kid Leopard look for wimps to bully at the beach.

This shot of Ian, Sean, KV and KL sunning in the sand is instantly one of my most treasured possessions. Each of these hunks surely owns his own corner in the homoerotic wrestling hall of fame. I’m still torn as to whether Sean “the Kisser” Patrick or Christian Taylor deserves the lifetime achievement award for sexiest liplock. And gorgeous heel master Kid Vicious can pull my trigger absolutely any time. What’s with the Boss being the only one fully clothed here?

get-attachment-47 copy — Andy Bailey, Thom Katt, (?) and Brian Baxter make male grooming a sexy, full contact sport.

I need help identifying the bright-eyed babyface flexing his bicep under Brian Baxter’s chin. Seeing these classic hunks so obviously having fun together is so awesome. Brian Baxter’s marathon ring match with Kid Leopard, with fellow wrestlers off camera flinging taunts and catcalls, is one of the rawest, sexiest, personality-forward homoerotic wrestling matches ever.

IMG_3509 (1) — Back row: (?), (?), Shane McCall, Cage Thunder. Front row: Tommy Lopez, Kid Leopard, Sailor Rob

Holy crap look at this reunion of pioneers of homoerotic wrestling hotness! The two silver foxes on the left in the back defy me, though I feel like I ought to be able to identify them. Shane McCall and an unmasked Cage Thunder are both classics and ongoing forces to be wrestled with in BG East new releases. Tommy Lopez! Tommy Lopez!!! Just a few months ago I was waxing nostalgic about this babyface wrestling rock star. And if you want to be brought to your knees hard, check out Tommy and Sailor Rob’s photo collection from their full frontal, pedal to the metal homoerotic wrestling match in BGE’s Arena Vintage section. And it’s great to see KL and Sailor Rob are still close after their cut throat, brutally humiliating title match documented in the Arena’s Vintage Photo Story.

Happy birthday, indeed!

Bring It, Biff!

April 15, 2015 wrestlebard7 Comments

Imagine my surprise to discover that the magnificent blond muscle boy debuting in Lon Dumont’s new release Wrestler Spotlight compilation is, in fact, named Biff. I thought he looked like a Biff. I even announced here that I’d think of him as “Biff” until I learned otherwise. I also mentioned how I’d enthusiastically nurse a fantasy of seeing him kick sand in some twink’s face.

biff6 — BG East offers up the stats that Biff is 5’7″ and 190 pounds. Damn, I want more numbers!

Fuck, I like the look of Biff. From every angle. I’m crazy for those baby blue eyes and beautiful boyband face. His shoulders are insanely huge. That ass is a work of art. But fuck it all, those lightly hairy, gargantuan legs simply blow my mind.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I was first in line to get my hands all over Lon Dumont’s first Wrestler Spotlight release. As the president of the Lon Dumont fan club, I officially cannot ever get enough of watching BG East’s resident pro wrestler turned competitive bodybuilder turned pro wrestling bodybuilder. His Wrestler Spotlight 3-some is piled high with everything that makes me so obsessed with Lon. His body. His attitude. His body. His brutality. His body. His humor. His body. But even I have to admit that my blood was rushing even harder to see what Lon would do with a bombshell beefcake newbie like big, beautiful Biff.

biff5 — Lon mounts the “spine-tingling” rookie from behind. Understandably.

Lon sees it too, mind you. Lon is absolutely taken with the mass of gorgeous muscles flexing back at him when he first arrives ringside. He literally pulls up a stool to just sit and watch this phenomenal specimen pump out some of the most impressive, titillating first look flexing you’ve ever seen on a newbie. Words are exchanged. An arm wrestling challenge does not go Lon’s way. And with his delicate ego bruised, Lon is all over every succulent inch of big Biff. He announces, ominously, thrillingly, that this is going to be a forced-to-flex match. Lon’s debut with BG East just a few years ago demonstrated how devastating he can be when submissions don’t count without being forced to flex. All that muscle on Biff. Lon chomping at the bit to make him flex. Holy shit, this is pure gold!

biff4 — Holy hell, Biff knows what to do with ring ropes!

Here’s the thing, though. If you’re like me, you expect big, brawny, babyface beefcake Biff to absolutely dominate in pure, stunning, overpowering strength. But if you’re like me, you also expect Lon’s years of indy pro wrestling experience, battle worn into one of the most devastating, vicious wrestling heels currently in the ring, to out hustle and outmaneuver the green rookie. So if you’re like me, you’ll be profoundly delighted to watch this untried, unknown mountain of muscle seriously wrestle! He repeatedly knocks Lon on his rock hard glutes, and then follows up with astonishingly confident and devastating pro wrestling moves. Lon is in serious jeopardy through most of this match, which is a place I never expected to see him in, at least not against a doe-eyed rook.

Lon is a tenacious fucker, though, and although it takes him quite a bit more time and effort than he’d planned, eventually he maneuvers bulging Biff nice an snug between a rock and Lon’s hard spot. The muscled rook is no dummy. When he’s stuck but good, he obediently pumps out precisely the poses that his bodybuilder tormentor demands. Lon is a maestro, playing this remarkable rookie for everything he’s worth. The juxtaposition of devastatingly hot, powerful muscles and the humiliation of submissively flexing at his opponent’s command is what makes me such a total sucker for precisely this type of match.

biff7 — Let’s see that most muscular, rookie!

Lon gives us a guided tour of Biff’s magnificent muscles, dragging him to the edge of unconsciousness over and over, driving him to the brink of panic and relenting only when we get to see another display of Biff’s physique. This is total ownership. The rook is Lon’s plaything. And I am once again in awe of how completely Lon turns me on. That, I knew to expect. What I didn’t expect was how instantly big Biff Farrell has captured my imagination, set up shop in my wrestling fantasies, and left me breathlessly waiting to see what those skills, that physique, and all of that potential will do next!

biff8 — Luscious, massive, sweat-soaked, muscles look so sexy conquered and defenseless!

Welcome to the family, Biff. Can’t wait to see much, much more of you!

Our Man Inside

March 28, 2015 wrestlebard6 Comments

I have no way of predicting when I’m going to receive the proverbial brown paper package, sans return address, with a new batch of smuggled pics of the inner sanctum of BG East from the anonymous benefactor I’ve dubbed, simply, Our Man Inside (OMI). This latest batch was actually signed “OMI,” which makes me chuckle… and worry a bit that the fans’ spy may be getting cocky. Speaking of dangerously cocky, did I mention how fervently Drake Marcos denied being OMI when I visited him at BG East’s South Campus last fall? Regular readers may remember that Drake was one of the first to smuggle pics to me from behind the scenes at a BG East taping. However, he also got caught, and rumor is, got his ass handed to him long and hard for dabbling in corporate espionage. So Drake brought up the topic all on his own last fall, pointedly clarifying that he isn’t the one who has continued to sneak peeks to me from behind the curtain at BG East. There was a slight tone of desperateness about his unsolicited denials that makes me think whoever OMI is (and I’m not saying that it definitely ISN’T the Cheshire Cat), I hope he continues to fly under the radar, because it sure seemed to me like hottie Drake was reliving some personal terror as he adamantly denied continuing his smuggling operation.

Whoever OMI is, I’d make him my honorary favorite homoerotic wrestler insider, if I could post of picture of him and give credit where it’s due. Of course, that would defeat the purpose. And I don’t want that purpose defeated, or OMI found out, because once again he slipped out what appear to be some cutting room floor shots from behind the scenes of BG East homoerotic wrestling tapings. There’s a brand new mountain of blond muscle who looks like he belongs in some Beach Blanket Beefcake flick from the the 60’s. Most of these appear to be from recent releases, so hopefully we’ll see Blond Bombshell Biff in action soon. And thank heavens for more candid, between takes reveals of fantasy studs like Lon Dumont, Jake Jenkins, Kayden Keller, and Jonny Firestorm. Seeing these gorgeous wrestlers without their game faces on makes me that much more infatuated with watching them suit up, slip into the ring, and go to town.

red — Hello, Rookie! I’m breathless with the anticipation of being formally introduced to this new mountain of beautiful muscle. In the mean time, I’m calling him “Biff” and fantasizing about seeing him kick sand in some lucky twink’s face.

lon — This looks like a way back shot of perpetual infatuation of mine, Lon Dumont, and his first BG East tag team partner, Chace LaChance from several years ago. Lon has put on more muscle and grown a lot more hair since then, and Chace has bulked up about twice this size!

green — Speaking of size, incredibly hot beefcake rookie Sam Sellers caught a lot of fans’ attention, including mine, in his recent debut in Mat Scraps 3. Seeing him with specs (and very little else) makes this muscleman about 20 times sexier than he already was, as far as I’m concerned.

ben — I love this shot of Sam and Ben Monaco with the video cameras off. Ben looks like it’s just occurred to him that he may have bitten off more than he can chew. Sam’s wide, open smile is so fucking handsome!

green2 — So perhaps OMI is a little infatuated with rookie beefcake Sam as well. Not hard to miss why!

Jake Jenkins peels his hot, athletic body off the floor in what looks like a takeout from his recent Barefoot Babyfaces ring match. I never, ever get tired of seeing this Von Erich-esque stud!

jonny — By all accounts, Jonny Firestorm is the prankster of the BG East boys. This appears to be the aftermath of a dozing jobber Skip Vance being on the receiving end of Jonny’s humiliating humor.

Kayden Kellar has come on like a house on fire in the past 16 months dialing up the dastardly and roaringly erotic dial as a rising heel. All of that squeezed into a windsor knot, and you might never guess what a vicious sexual sadist he is!

ryder — This appears to be a shot of The Boss himself getting an up close and personal view of Jake Ryder and Z-Man’s sizzling hot bodies working each other over hard in Mat Scraps 3. What a fucking dream job!

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