I’m calling yesterday’s face off as another decisive victory. As of this post, Rusty Stevens’ liplockon Kevin Crowes easily buries catchweight face sucking between Drake Wild and Tyler St. James. The vote was a conclusive 35 – 19, and Rusty and Kevin move on to the semis along with Lorenzo Lowe’s liplockon Steven Ponce. Two more spots are still open to join the next round, so let’s get right down to this 3rd quarter-final match-up.
Gabriel Ross shocks and awes Lorenzo Lowe with his lips.
First is a second drink from the well for Lorenzo “Jake” Lowe who can’t seem to keep his luscious lips off his opponents. Wrestle Shack 16 pitted bubble-butted Jake against a veteran opponent this time, angelic babyface muscle brute Gabriel Ross. Gabriel stuns with his mammoth pecs and cherubic face, but Jake seems to seriously go limp (except for his crotch) right around the time that Gabriel plants a wet one on him.
Bodybuilder beatdown: Morgan Cruise crushes an intimate liplock out of outmatched Skip Vance and boyfriend Christian Taylor.
The next contenders to move on from the quarterfinals are a unique threesome, pulled from Tag Team Torture 16: Boyfriend Beatdown. Jobber extraordinaire Skip Vance and his real life lover, Christian Taylor, get more than they can handle when they both climb into the ring against single-handed Mason “the Mastodon” Cruise. Morgan milks the humiliation of boyfriends having to watch each other be crushed, and then squeezes out still more sweet pathos by forcing the boys to exchange intimacies at his command while he makes the both of them his tandem bitch. A unique kissing moment in a novel homoerotic wrestling match vies for your vote!
It’s your civic duty to vote, so get to clicking on the kiss that’s hottest!
I feel like I’m just about to lose my shit in anticipation of BG East’s release of catalog 100. 100 catalogs packed with some of the sexiest, most iconic moments in homoerotic wrestling history!? You’ve got to expect that reaching the centennial mark will mean something big. The Arena preview pics so far are dizzyingly hot. Just check out Joe’s assessmentof just one of the matches from the upcoming Fantasymen 35. This match features perpetual top tier fantasyman Kid Karismagetting his hands all over unbelievably pretty newbie, Kip Sorrell,, and in Joe’s words, “Karisma does a genius job of showing off Sorell’s fine points while breaking the picture-perfect physique down for spare parts.” Prepare yourself to be dazzled before you click over to Joe’s, though. Sweet Gaia, the vascularity on Kip (who is, I predict, an immediate frontrunner for both babyface and rookie of the year awards) is blowing my mind! So far the boys at BG East have released preview shots for 4 new collections (Fantasymen 35, Matmen 24, Undagear 20, and Wrestlefest 3), but a typical catalog could have as many as 2 or 3 more products, so I’m holding my breath for what more mind/wad-blowing treasure they may still unveil for the 100th (what is that, like, the platinum-plated-gold anniversary?) Since I’m obsessing about this anyway, I thought I’d take time today to handicap one of the matches that’s previewed in the Arena and already haunting my dreams, Undagear 20’s yet-to-be-released match pitting Jake Jenkinsagainst Marco Carlow.
The tale of the tape is already compelling. Jake consistently weighs in at 155 lbs on his 5’7″ frame. Marco is an inch shorter and weighed in 15 pounds heavier in his one released BG East match. In other words, beautiful little muscle stud Jake is faced with, potentially, his biggest (pound-per-inch) competitor so far in his BG East tenure. Taking a look at Marco’s pics, it’s hard to ignore that the boy has slabs of beef hanging off of his ridiculously conditioned frame. I’d be willing to make a side bet that his right upper arm is measurably thicker than Jake’s neck (but I won’t pay up unless I’m the one holding the measuring tape to them!). In a side-by-side, the lusciously beautiful, proven powerful Jake Jenkins is instantly giving away serious advantage to the unquestionably superior size and, almost certainly, strength of muscle man Marco. On a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being “absolutely impossible” and 10 being “a complete certainty,” I give the likelihood that Marco will repeatedly outmuscle Jake (tests-of-strength, powering out of full nelsons, squeezing submissions out of rib crushing bearhugs) at an 8.
Marco nearly tamed muscle beast Dev Michaels in Motel Madness 11.
Experience, on the other hand, is an entirely different story. Marco Carlow has exactly one prior appearance in a BG East release, in which he faced the muscle beast Dev Michaels in a New Orleans motel room for Motel Madness 11. Marco made a surprisingly good showing, as far as I was concerned, despite a good deal of flat-footedness, lack of speed, and limited repertoire. In this case, he was giving away 30 pounds to the mountain of muscle Michaels, and still Marco successfully put the hurt on the giant and quite nearly secured the final fall submission.
Marco got buried beneath raging bull Dev!
However impressive was Marco’s rookie debut, however, being flat-footed, slow, and technically limited in wrestling skill does not bode well for facing Jake Jenkins. Jake has wrestled 9 times for BG East and 12 times for Rock Hard Wrestling. Match descriptions indicate that Jake is both a highly accomplished amateur wrestler as well as a novice MMA boy, and he’s certainly taken to the special demands of homoerotic wrestling like white on rice. At RHW, Jake tends to be more of a bad ass than he is at BG East, where he generally wrestles clean, at least starts out amiable, and has a healthy (but not overinflated) sense of his extensive assets, especially on the mats.
Jake breaks Christian Taylor in half in Wet ‘n’ Wild 6
The heaviest opponent Jake has faced at BGE was Christian Taylor in Wet ‘n’ Wild 6, but that seems a poor comparison to judge his promise against the likes of Marco Carlow. Christian’s 175 lbs are stretched across 6’2″ of height, which averages out to about 2.36 pounds per inch of height. In other words, Christian is one stunningly beautiful, long, tall drink of water, but he’s no muscle man. Inch-for-pound, although over half a foot shorter, Jake was almost exactly the same proportionally (2.35 pounds per inch), and with a boatload more mat experience, it’s not surprisingly he tied the tallboy into knots and left him whimpering in a pile. Rating the likelihood that Jake will spin his nearly naked, sweat-lubricated body all over a stunned Marco and lock the muscle boy up tight repeatedly like a twist-tie, I give it another 8 out of 10. The likelihood that Marco will be knocked on his ass when he pushes amiable Jake one step too far: 9 out of 10. The likelihood that Marco will, like half of Jake’s opponents before him, comment on Jake’s ferocious intensity that makes pit bulls cower: 4 out of 10.The likelihood that Marco squashes Jake and gets out without suffering multiple, expertly administered, joint-snapping submission holds that Marco’s never even heard of, much less suffered in: 1 out of 10.
Sweat-soaked buddy Austin Cooper proved too much for “little” Jake to handle!
Perhaps a more realistic comp would be to look at a couple other of Jake’s opponents who, although technically not as heavy as Christian, are closer to the weight/power ratio of Marco. First, Jake’s long-time tag partner Austin Cooper faced Jake in their simultaneous BGE debut in Ripped Rookie’s 1. Austin’s weight-height ratio is 2.39 pounds per inch of height, which makes for a pretty noticeable size advantage over little Jake (4/100ths in this case is not a negligible difference). Also, the two are pretty damn equally matched in mat experience, and they’ve wrestled each other and together as a tag team multiple times, essentially zeroing out any experience advantage. Against equal experience and a not-insignificant size disadvantage, how did Jake do? It was incredibly competitive (as in, please bottle those gallons of sweat, because I’m buying!), but slowly, but surely, goldenboy Austin absolutely owned Jake’s lovely ass! I believe Ripped Rookies was filmed in the very same mat room as Jake’s match with Marco Carlow, and in both matches, the boys start in singlets and end in jock straps. So if Jake’s performance against the dominating power of Coop is any measure, he could be in for a world of hurt against Marco whose weight-height ratio is a jaw-dropping 2.58 pounds per inch of height. I put the likelihood that Jake is hoisted off his feet and completely at Marco’s mercy at one point or another at around a 7 out of 10.
Kid Karisma owned “monkey boy’s” smoking hot ass!
One other comp I think needs to be addressed, and that’s Jake’s ring match against 165 pound Kid Karisma in Hunkbash 12. Kid K’s weight-height ratio is, before now, the most dominating that Jake has faced, with a 2.42 pounds per inch of height measured. Again, Kid K has a boatload more experience than Marco Carlow, and for my tastes, Kid Karisma is never more dangerous than he is in the ring, which is arguably Jake’s weakest genre. So how did Jake, 2012’s top babyface, do against 2012’s best ass winner? Holy fuck, it was a massacre! Karisma trounced the babyface before Jake even left the locker room! JJ battled back to claim one submission, but that was his one bright spot in an unremitting train wreck of a match for poor Jake. Kid K destroys him, tying his spine in knots around the ring post, crushing his face into the apron, trampling, pounding, squeezing, and delectably dominating Jake into yet another quivering pool of sweat and humiliation. So again, although he’s been highly competitive and dominant even, against boys his size, including extremely pedigreed mat wrestlers and MMA fighters, when Jake’s been faced with serious muscle boys not even close to Marco’s concentrated muscle mass, he’s gone down brutally hard. The likelihood that still-green muscle man Marco will enjoy serious riding time on Jake’s ass, bullying the babyface and rendering Jake’s hot bod a limp rag at various points in this match: 6 out of 10. The likelihood he’ll make Jake cry: 4 out of 10. The likelihood he’ll make Jake beg like a bitch for mercy: 3 out of 10.
A few more numbers that I’m estimating based on nothing more than my personal tastes and adoring study of countless hours of homoerotic wrestling (remember, 0 means “absolutely impossible” and 10 means “a complete certainty”):
Likelihood that either of these boys loose their jockstraps: 2.
Likelihood that they both lose their jock straps: 1 (I’m an eternal optimist).
Likelihood that we catch a glimpse of either of their balls spilling out of their jockstraps: 4.
Likelihood that we catch a glimpse of either of their assholes: 6.
Likelihood that I decide before this match is over that I’d tap Jake’s ass over Marco’s: 3.
Likelihood that Marco’s mountainous pecs get clawed: 7 (though that doesn’t seem to be Jake’s style).
Likelihood that Jake gets stretched over Marco’s knee and spanked like a naughty boy: 3.
Likelihood that Marco shoves Jake’s face in his crotch and makes him smell his sweaty crotch: 3.
Likelihood that both boys give a bare-assed muscle posing session towering over top of their prone opponent: 10 (because the Arena documents both!).
Likelihood that Jake takes the final fall: 8.
Likelihood that one of these boys claims my homoerotic wrestler of the month title off this match: 3.
Likelihood that have to push pause and clean up a bit within the first 5 minutes: 6.
Likelihood I’ll be obsessing about catalog 100 all day long: 10.
Bard: Thanks for making time to chat with me today, Morgan. You seem like a busy guy. I’m seeing you in a lot of wrestling products!
Morgan: Yeah, been a busy a few weeks orienting new talent filming seasons 5 and 6 at MDW, as well as work on a superhero season, and of course I have spent a fair amountof time down at BGE.
Bard: You all are already producing season 6!? Season 5 just came out! Damn, you are busy! I’ve been seriously enjoying some of that new talent MDW has been getting their hands on lately. Tidus, Rodriguez, beefy boys in need of getting a beatdown. What do you do to “orient” fresh meat?
Morgan: Glad you like the new boys. These guys did not need much of a training session; they got in the ring ready to wrestle! Rodriguez in particular is going to be a damn fine talent. When a new guy comes in, though, the procedure is to have them spend time watching myself or Muscle Master Kevin wrestle a couple of matches so there are noquestions as to what is off limits. [laughing] All reservations quickly fly out the window using this method. Once they feel comfortable in that regard we set ’em loose.
Morgan tenderized fresh beef back in MDW Season 2, breaking in Mateus Shogun in Meaty Muscle Massacre.
Bard: Voyeur first, then climb in and go at it? I like it. I like it a lot. I want to ask you more about other wrestlers and about the companies you’ve wrestled for, but first let me ask more about Morgan the Mastodon Cruise. It seems to me like you’ve gone from a rookie to a seasoned heel in the blink of an eye. To what do you owe your success as a terrifying force ofdestruction in the homoerotic wrestling universe?
Morgan: I take full credit for in my in ring prowess! [laughing] But in all seriousness, I have been a wrestling fan for as long as I can remember, and when I got to BG East for the first timeit was like a dream. I learned a lot from my first match with Lon Dumont – it was kind of like, “Oh, this is what I am going to be doing? Hell, yeah!”
Morgan learned the ropes at the mercy of indy pro veteran and competitive bodybuilder, Lon Dumont, in BG East’sRookie Wreckers.
Bard: That was a monumental match with Lon. I’m a huge, huge, huge fan of his, and I go back to that match often. I had a strong feeling even then that with a little “orienting” from an indy pro veteran like Lon, you were going to be a force to be reckoned with. What would you say is the most devastating hold in your arsenal at this point in your career?
Morgan bearhugs Lon Dumont in Rookie Wreckers.
Morgan: Interesting, well that match was all about the bearhug; I bearhugged Lon; he bearhugged me; and I definitely have to put that one high up on the list. But as far as my most devastating hold, the torture rack has to take the cake
Bard: Fuck. Yes. Hoist an opponent up across those big broad shoulders of yours and make them scream. I’ll be in the front row every time. I know what a move like that does for me as I watch you completely dominate a sorry bastard totally off his feet and under your control. What’s the experience like for you?
Morgan racks the hell out of Christian Taylor, humiliating him in front of Christian’s lover, Skip Vance, in BG East’s Tag Team Torture 16.
Morgan: I am always surprised at how easy it is to throw an opponent up there and secure them by their neck and balls. Once they are on my shoulders and I am cranking down, they have no choice but to submit. It is the perfect chance to run my mouth, make them say whatever I want. It is complete control.
Bard: Complete control. That’s what it looks like on this end, too. I hope you don’t mind if I ask about your body, because I’d swear it’s straight out of some of my fondest erotic fantasies from watching old school 1980’s pro wrestling on television. Big, solid muscles, unapologetically hairy, liberally dowsed in sweat, built for function. How would you describe your physique?
Morgan’s opponents know what’s going down.
Morgan: I am THE hairy he-man. When my opponent comes to the ring and sees me standing across from them, they know what’s going down. My chest is the kryptonite of all men. When I wrestle, I sweat all over guys – always was a heavy perspirer. My bi’s are built tall and peaked; my back is the thickest out of any other wrestler; and I am secretly extremely athletic. Obviously you are not going to see me doing any dop-kicks or high flying moves, much too methodical for that, but letting everyone know now that I can bust any move out. I was built to wrestle.
Bard: Built to wrestle. Excellent summary, and I can’t agree more. So tell me some numbers, because I get off on numbers. What’s your height and weight right now?
Morgan: I’m 5’8, 175 pounds – had been dealing with a shoulder injury and was forced to lean out for quite some time, but now finally am back to my usual bulky self and packing on more muscle than ever.
Bard: How big are those mountainous peaks you call your upper arms?
Morgan: Last I measured, they were in the realm of 18.
Bard: Sweet. How far does the tape measure have to go to get around your pecs and that thickest-of-all-upper-backs?
Morgan: [Laughing] Have not taken that measurement, but let me just say I have ripped a few shirts on the way on and off.
Bard: Damn, you need to get Kevin to grab that measurement… and send me a photo of him doing it. Waist?
Morgan: [Laughing] Good luck getting that photo. The boss is a busy man. My waist is 28 inches.
Bard: Thighs (including copious hair)?
Morgan: Measuring now…
Bard: Damn, I wish I were there to lend a hand with that….
Morgan: You are not the first. 26 inches.
Bard: But I promise, I’d be the best. Fantastic. No wonder opponent’s are weeping when you get those tree trunks wrapped around them. So in the “real” world, when guys are hittingon you, ’cause I know guys are hitting on you all the time, what’s the first compliment they’re giving you to start flirting?
The gaze draws people in.
Morgan: They try and guess the color of my eyes – first they say grey, then green, sometimes blue, ultimately concluding they are hazel. Either way it has always been my gaze that draws people in that is invariably where they start – then the bicep compliments start.
Bard: I could totally see that, though if you had your shirt unbuttoned, I’d have to make a comment about those hot hairy pecs. Coincidentally, I put “hazel” as my eye color on my driver’s license, just because no one can tell me a better description for my eye color, either. So back to wrestling, I’m of the opinion that you’ve moved the bar wherever you’ve wrestled. For example, at BG East, you’ve done some amazing work blending old school pro wrestling style with incredibly sexy, trunks off eroticism. And at Muscle Domination Wrestling, it seems to me you’ve been on the envelope pushing the explicit, full-frontal homoerotic combat angle. Do you think of yourself as a trailblazer?
Morgan wrestle raw against Tony Law.
Morgan: I ama stickler for wrestling logic. That is where the old school style comes in. If a move in a sequence is out of place it really bothers me. I religiously watch back all my matches to fill in the gaps, always thinking about what I could have done here or there. I own a very raw wrestling style which goes hand in hand with baring skin. My main objective at MDW was to incorporate skillful wrestling within the sub-dom framework. Originally Muscle Domination Wrestling utilized wrestling as a medium to explore different facets of domination. My job is bringing the product to a level where wrestling assumes its natural artful position while MDW expands its vision for alpha male conquest. Season 5marks the first huge strides towards this goal.
Bard: I’m thrilled to hear about that continuing evolution at MDW. And I like the word “raw” for your wrestling style. It’s raw, hardcore, in your face wrestling without losing an ounce of respect for the art and science of it. And I’m here to confess that watching you pound the shit out of some pretty, pretty boy turns me on… a lot. Is wrestling a turn on for you?
Morgan: Turn on, fulfillment, gratification… all those words are appropriate.
Bard: Nice to know that it works that way on your end. Speaking of you pounding the shit out of pretty boys, name some names for me. Do you have a favorite match so far in your career?
Morgan: Ah, always a tough question, picking my favorite, but to name a couple… One from BGE, one from MDW. I loved wrestling Diego Diaz. He was a really naturally talented guy. We had a great back and forth before I crushed my way to victory. Chemistry is just one of those things – until you are in the ring working off one another you just never know how a match will turn out, but right when we started and he responded to my shit-talk I knew we would have a good scrap. As for MDW, it has given me many chances to wrestle Tony Law. Myfirst filmed match with him was also at BGE, but since then we have faced each other more times than I can count, so we work very well together – no punches pulled, just intense grit. The most recent match we had was a celebration of our “rivalry,” the culmination of our many bouts – Tony’s final chance to get one over on a 60 minute straight-through Iron Man match. We filmed it all in one shot, non-stop action, and boy did it get sweaty – my favorite match from the new season 5 for sure.
Morgan digs deep into Tony’s pumped pecs in Morgan’s Spotlight Wrestler match.
Bard: Again, I’m a big fan of big, big, big Diego Diaz, and that chemistry you describe definitely comes through when watching that match. And I’m not surprised to hear Tony Law’s name pop up. By the law of averages, since you’ve beaten him so many times, it makes sense one of those times might be on your favorites list. I’ve seen your match with Tonyover at BG East, and again, the word “raw” comes to mind. The match description for this Iron Man match for MDW’s season 5 makes it sound as if Tony may have finally turned the tables on you this time around, which I for one find hard to believe. Anything more you can say about Iron Man and how you left Tony’s meaty ass when the 60 minutes were up?
Morgan leans into his longstanding rivalry with beefy farmboy, Tony Law
Morgan: Well, the Iron Man contest allows for multiple pins and submissions (not that any heel is going to stop at the first tap out anyway), so I will say that Tony had a lot of chance to make up for lost time. The man that walks away with the most victories at the hour’s end is declared the ultimate winner of the contest, so either we exchanged a few wins in a closely contested bout, or I kicked his ass for an hour straight, but you will have to watch it to find out.
Bard: Nicely teased. Damien Rush is another hot stud you’ve brutalized over and over from MDW to BG East and back again. The level of brutality and humiliation you’ve dragged him through is an astonishing body of work all on it’s own. I’ve got to hand it to the handsome hunk that he’s got some serious nerve climbing back into the ring again and again with you. You look like you could just about eat him for lunch, but I wonder if, at the end of the day, you walk away with respect for even the mewling, weeping opponents you leave crushed in the ring behind you, like hot hunk Damien.
Damien works up a sweat all over trashed boy toy, Damien Rush again and again.
Morgan: Damien is a hot-headed talent, and I do respect him, but at the end of the day I have job to do and that is putting everyone in their proper place beneath me the one true wrestling god. Now, if Mr. Rush wanted to admit that I am and always will be better than him in every way and wanted to form a tag team with me then I could really respect him.
… and again, and again the Mastodon works to teach Damien some respect.
Bard: Message sounds loud and clear to me. By the way, if you find yourself ripping Mr. Rush’s sweat-soaked trunks off his hot bod again, keep me in mind. I’ve got a trophy case with a spot reserved. Your most recent release for BG East featured you taking on both Christian Taylor and his notorious jobber boyfriend, Skip Vance at the same time in Tag Team Torture 16. I’ve only seen previews of the match so far, but it looks like you fucking own the both of them in body and soul. A boyfriend tag team beatdown is a long-standing pet erotic fantasy of mine. What was it like for you to not just work over another pretty boy like Christian, but to crush him in front of his anguished lover and then humiliate the both of them at the same time?
Morgan works his way underneath Skip’s skin by humiliating Skip’s lover inside the ring.
Morgan: Let me first say if you want Damien’s trunks you will have to peel them off his throat, but it is fine by me. Someone needs to do him the favor after my many mean encounters with him. Boyfriend Beatdown was exhilarating. While I owned Christian in the ring, Skip cheers on moral support from the much safer exterior of the ring. For the first time I was able to bash one hunk while taunting another. My game plan was of course to get both in the ring at once because obviously alone they are both squash material. Skip and I went back and forth for a good while before I got underneath his skin playing with his boyfriend in whichever way I wanted. Christian was no match for me and failed to save any face even with his boyfriend there cheering him on. I felt badly for him so it was only natural to provoke skip so his boyfriend could see that no one stands a chance against the Mastodon. Squashing both together was like playing god I was the ruler of their relationship; I was the master of all things private to them, it was Morgan Cruise who determined when and where they kissed along with other things.
Morgan has both Skip Vance and his lover Christian Taylor right where he wants them.
Bard: Holy shit, that’s hot. That match is officially next on my BG East order form. So here are a few stream of consciousness questions for you. Don’t think too long… just answer what comes first into your head. Okay?
Morgan: Sure.
Bard: Steak or seafood?
Morgan: Seafood.
Bard: Boxers or briefs?
Morgan: Neither.
Bard: [Laughing] Perfect. Legs or chest?
Morgan: Chest.
Bard: Scissor or bearhug?
Morgan: Bearhug.
Bard: Top or bottom?
Morgan: Top.
Bard: Of course. Country or rock?
Morgan: Metal.
Bard: Nice. So you’ve got a lot of fans, I’m sure you know. Watching you in the ring, however, you seem completely focused, like you don’t give a shit about anyone else, what anyone else thinks or wants. What do you make of the legions of Mastodon fans out there who can’t get enough of the magic that you make in the wrestling ring?
Morgan: The truth is that my namesake the Mastodon went extinct, but I am the perfect breed – an ever-evolving specimen, and that means listening to feedback and taking direction and criticism. I keep in close contact with my die hard fans, and they tell me what they like and what they do not. Luckily there is very little to not like. When I am in the ring I tap into the primal force that is the Mastodon, and everything else dissolves. My focus becomes how I want to break my opponent down and how to do it with precise logic and incomparable style.
Bard: Good to hear. You are a crowd pleaser, it’s impossible to deny. What’s something that Mastodon fans don’t know about you that they should?
Morgan: I am very quiet outside the ring. [Laughing] I hardly speak. I meticulously dissect the way in which others communicate so that I never misunderstand anyone. Everyone has a different method or nuance to the way in whcih they articulate the idea they want to get across, so attention to detail is key. As a result, I do not own a cell phone. I heavily prefer direct contact
Bard: Fascinating… and suddenly I’m second guessing what I’ve said this whole interview. Just a couple more questions for you. Is there any particular wrestler currently competing that you haven’t wrestled yet that needs to trampled by the Mastodon?
Morgan has his eye on none other than BG East’s Kid Karisma.
Bard: Holy hell, yes! I’d pay for a front row seat for that one! Hell, the image of all of those muscles locked with muscles is making me a little dizzy right now. Speaking of muscles, if you found yourself climbing into the ring again with Lon Dumont, with considerably more experience and practice under your belt now than when you first wrestled, do you think things would turn out differently this time around?
Morgan: I have been waiting for that question. He can come to MDW, or we can meet back up in the BG East ring any time, any place. I am there. This time around, you can bet your “firstborn,” The Mastodon is walking away victorious.
A rematch with Lon Dumont: Would this happen again!?
Bard: Sweet. I’m hoping to sit down for face-to-face interview with Mr. Muscles in the not-too-distant future, so I’ll be sure to let him know. You’ve been a delight to chat with, Morgan, and for someone who typically hardly speaks outside the ring, you’ve been an awesome conversationalist. Is there any last word you’d like to pass along to Mastodon fans out there before I let you go?
Morgan: The Mastodon is watching over the works at MDW, and would like to encourage my fans to check Muscle Domination Wrestling out as I am making sure my in-ring work extends beyond my own matches. The landscape has changed, and the wrestling has come to the forefront. And thank you for the interview it was a pleasure to have this experience. I have learned a good few things from your blog. And do be sure to let good old Lonny Dumont that he can come to me, or I am coming for him [laughing].
Bard: You are a one of a kind, hot, sweaty, raw, old school mass of muscle wrestler, and I cannot wait to catch up on your newest releases now, and to check out the evolving landscape at MDW. I hope we can chat again sometime, perhaps after I can get Lon back on the record. Thanks again, Morgan. You’re awesome!
My HWOTM pick is very late in arriving here at neverland, primarily because I was traveling for the first 2 weeks of August. That does not mean, however, that I didn’t have time to enjoy the cream of the crop of homoerotic wrestling new releases that came out in July, and to form my opinions about which wrestler worked me the hardest. I settled on one particular wrestler who is almost certainly overdue for the accolades here at neverland, but truth be told, there was another couple of boys who were absolutely chomping on his ass vying for the title. It was a hair’s breadth between them, but I’ll save my lauding of the runner’s up and stick to placing the laurel leaves atop the head of the wrestler who entertained me most in the July new releases…
Skip Vance has described BG East’sGazebo Grapplers 15 match featuring Ethan battling it out with Skip’s lover, Christian Taylor, as his favorite match of all time. I can understand why. It’s smoking hot. Both Christian and Ethan are in mouthwatering shape, with Ethan still sporting the bad mohawk that he earned in his Hairstakes match against my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont. The wrestling is intense, punctuated by the grunts and groans that few men can really fake with the type of sincerity you hear in this match. And, well, fuck, I’ve certainly had the odd (i.e., regularly recurring) fantasy of a vicious, barely clad heel beating the shit out of my lover during those moments when my lover is annoying me as only someone who knows me most intimately can.
Christian, a former HWOTM, puts up a highly entertaining performance, working that cold as ice, unflappable focus he has so masterfully. But it’s Ethan that has me laughing, gasping, and unzipping as he weaves an intricate, finely balanced narrative that unfolds like a favorite novella.
Ethan’s mouth runs pretty much continuously, as it does in most everything I’ve seen of his work. He’s got a sharp wit that cuts and slices at the ego strength of the long, tall beauty in front of him. Early on, he brings up Skip in his trash talk offense. And when it comes to Ethan, I mean “offense” quite literally. He makes no bones about his full on intent to offend, insult, crawl up under Christian’s gorgeous skin and fester like a rotting sore. He insults Christian liberally, commenting on the towering beauty’s less than stellar match record. But it’s when he insults Skip that I start to seriously appreciate the sexy-devious mind that has made many a fan before me line up right behind Ethan’s beautiful ass and cheer.
As I say, these boys wrestle with a heated intensity that not for a moment can be mistaken for anything other than homoerotic combat. There’s humor, laced with a strong overtaste of humiliation to keep it spicy. Ethan’s crotch bulges impressively from very early on. The banter and grappling and submissions scored on one another are transparently turning these hot young hunks on (not to mention this hot-not-nearly-as-young hunk on this side of my screen).
Christian is simply not up to the challenge of keeping pace with the intensity and focus of Ethan. There’s something almost “consuming” about the manner in which Ethan’s ripped bod wraps around his struggling opponent so fiercely. I’d say that he enjoys having as much of his body in physical contact with as much of Christian’s body as possible, but then again, there’s no need to say it. Just look at that lovely mountain hanging between his legs, particularly when he’s stripped to a totally impractical and somehow completely believable gear choice: a mesh thong. Ethan slowly reveals his master plan. Dump the twig, he advises Christian. Give lightweight jobber Skip the boot and make room in your bed for the likes of Ethan Andrews. He’s shown up not just to win a wrestling match, but to conquer another man’s lover and take what he’s won body and soul. Ethan is not just a homoerotic wrestling savant. He’s not just a ripped, hunky heel. He’s an unapologetic (hell, he clearly loves this shit) home wrecker!
We knew it. Christian knew it. Obviously Ethan knew it. Before this is all said and done, there was no way in hell that Ethan’s mouth would fail to be planted hungrily across the alluring lips of Christian Taylor. It’s Christian’s MO, I think. Opponent’s sign up for a match because, if they beat him, they can suck face with one of the most handsome hotties on the BG East roster. I imagine he must taste like mojitos… no real reason, just the look of satisfaction on the faces of opponent’s as they peel their lips off of his. Yes, it was destined to happen that, stripped to excellently minuscule thongs, these two would stretch out across one another, crotch grinding into crotch, pec to pec, Christian flat on his back and being owned by the relentless badger on top of him, before Ethan dives in and plants a long, lingering, lip smacking kiss on him. Fuck, I love that climax. It’s the perfect apex to a homoerotic wrestling story arc.
But it’s only after that point that Ethan suddenly grabs me by the balls and demands to be crowned HWOTM. Christian has effectively melted. “Submitted” is a polite term for it, really, because the way his body responds to being owned and tasted by mohawk stud, he’s completely ripe for the picking. Then Ethan smacks him around a little more and peels away. The smirk on his face as he looks at Christian’s prone body is hilarious. Like cruising a gay bar, he gives a I-had-that-fucker sneer toward bagged-and-tagged Christian and says that he’s changed his mind. He doesn’t want to take Skip’s place, after all. Now that he’s proven he can own Christian, Ethan announces that he’s ready to move on to his real prize: Christian’s lover Skip.
Fuck, that is a sweet, sweet story! There’s suspense, humor, rocking hot bodies and highly competitive mat wrestling with a through-story. Hello!? This was clearly so far up my alley that I need to dig my underwear out of my crack! Ethan plays it to perfection, controlling the pace, setting the fantastically erotic tone, toying with Christian’s mind and body and then really lowering the shocking boom by leaving the stud gaping open-mouthed as Ethan heads off to hunt down Christian’s bon-bon lover. Game, set, match! I’m still laughing; I’m still hard. Ethan Andrews is undeniably my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month. Nicely played, Ethan.
Like fresh picked berries and crotch watching at the beach, BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s releases have become a seasonal treat for me. I’m a little dizzy from the initial overdose I just subjected myself to, scoping out the preview pics that are part of catalog 99.1, just released.
Boyfriend jobbers Skip and Christian make me think it’s not all bad getting crushed by Morgan Cruise.
Making my eyes water the hardest are the initial shots of Tag Team Torture 16: Boyfriend Beatdown, featuring the combo I’ve been bitching and moaning in anticipation of for years. Skip Vance and his real life boyfriend (and former HWOTM) Christian Taylor climb into the ring together for a 2-on-1 battle against heel-risen Morgan Cruise. Holy shit, this looks insanely hot. This looks like it’s heading in all the right directions, and I’m a little breathless in anticipation.
Chace LaChance and Braden Charron are RIPPED!
Speaking of breathless, shocking me just a little are the preview pics of the “Bonus Match” (for ordering all of the Summer Sizzlers) featuring Braden Charron and Chace LaChance both appearing to have physically peaked for the season at precisely the same moment that they climbed into the ring together. I may have seen Braden this ripped… possibly, but holy hell, I have never seen Chace as put together as this. Fuck. Me. Please.
Who’s Got Whom? Eli Black or Cameron Matthews?
Mat Hunks 9 is a stand-alone compilation that delivers a pretty perfect 8-pack selection of thirst-quenching hunks such as I’m not sure I’ve seen all on one DVD before. 3-time HWOTM Eli Black looks like he’s got his hands full with former HWOTM Cameron Matthews. This is a fascinating pairing, I think, and Cameron’s showmanship combined with Eli’s intensity seems like a formula for either disaster or perfection. I’m voting for perfection.
Rafe Sanchez takes the ride of MY life!
And speaking of perfection, former HWOTM and former and long-running overall favorite homoerotic wrestler of mine, Mitch Colby, snaps those tanned, rock hard thighs around the smooth, sexy head of long, long running infatuation of mine (though never a HWOTM), Rafe Sanchez (mmmmmmmm… Rafe). These two have appeared in some of the over the top sexiest wrestling I’ve ever enjoyed, so combined, I’m feeling dehydrated just thinking about it. And I’m not even going to mention the perfection of asses featured in the other two matches on Mat Hunks 9… yet.
Hot, hard muscles turned to jelly.
I will mention that my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (non-pornboy)Lon Dumont is also out in a new product, Knock Outs 2 , appearing back in the day when his head was smoother than Rafe Sanchez’. The match promises both Lon and his opponent, veteran pro Paul Hudson, get sleepered repeatedly, and the image of lovely, powerful Lon so vulnerable, out cold, is giving me hot flashes!
Mr. Joshua had better watch his back (I’ll keep an eye on his front for him)
Finally, Ring Hunks 1 (how is this only the first of that title!?) throws former overall favorite homoerotic wrestler Mr. Joshua’s massive package headlong into the dangerous machinations of former HWOTM and recent interviewee here, Aryx Quinn. If anyone can unleash the beast, surely it’s diabolical Aryx! Right?! Please!?
So these releases technically fall in the month of May, but there’s no way I can assess them in time for tomorrow’s crowning of a new HWOTM, so they’re officially delayed to join the June releases. In the mean time, pass me a protein drink. I’m going in….
“On the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me…”
The final wish I whispered into Santa’s ear felt like possibly the most daring fantasy of all. I was incredibly fortunate to get to spend about half a day with a certain homoerotic wrestling god about a year and a half ago. The master of the house, this iconic heel turned wrestling producer showered generous hospitality on me, showing me every corner of BG East headquarters where many of my fondest wrestling fantasies have taken place. Near the end of my visit, he invited me to join him as he sat down at his computer and pulled up the unedited photos of the upcoming BG East catalog (Catalog 89). I stood behind his chair, looking over he shoulder as he clicked through literally hundreds of pics, zipping past most, and then pausing to soak in a particularly titillating shot. “Mmmmm,” he’d mutter appreciatively, “look at that!” A photo of Mitch Colby’s hot muscled bod draped helplessly across the top turnbuckle, about to be battered by big Vlad Varek made my host groan and made my cock ache. I got the first outside glimpse of masked mountain of muscle Magnus force feeding his monster cock to fellow rookie Surge, to the soundtrack of my host letting out a little gasp of pleasure as he paused on a shot from behind Magnus, dwarfing his opponent, as Surge’s hands worshipfully cupped Magnus’ massive glutes. My host would fly through dozens of photos and then something would catch his eye, and when he paused on a shot long enough for me to soak it in, I’d see it. A particularly sexy angle, a display of exquisitely tortured muscle, an incredibly hot grimace of agony or sadistic, sexy leer. His taste, his eye for what speaks most directly to my own homoerotic wrestling kink, was astonishing to witness, and his commentary as much as the graphics left me slightly dizzy and hard a rock. With that memory crystal clear in my mind, I whispered to Santa, I want to see just a glimpse of what he sees. And on the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me an entire collection of what catches the eye of the man who has pretty much defined my homoerotic wrestling kink, an astonishingly beautiful montage of moments directly from the desk of Kid Leopard.
Dawn breaks over the lake at BG East.
Skrapper rolls out of bed, ready for a day of wrestling
Lobolito watches as Drake texts illicit photos to neverland
Canadian Beef: The Boss included in his bundle of Christmas presents this never before seen (but much anticipated) preview of Ben Monaco and a new massive, hairy muscle beast due out in the next BG East catalog!
News Flash: Liam Ryan is bearded, bulked up, and ready for one of the most epic returns to BG East wrestling ever in 2013!
Did Kid Leopard’s eye for homoerotic wrestling mold my tastes, or does he simply have instinctive insight into what turns me on? Either way, like Santa, Kid Leopard is an incredibly generous friend of neverland, and his generosity and genius continue to turn me on like nobody else can!
One of the sexiest fantasies come true for me in 2012 was the revelation that two of BG East’s wrestlers were, in real life, long-time lovers and partners. Skip Vance and Christian Taylor won the reader’s poll as Mr. and Mr. Valentine’s Day Wrestling Couple of 2012 and really, was there any competition? When I had the opportunity to interview Skip, he filled in additional dizzyingly hot details, including the fact that it was Christian who introduced Skip to homoerotic wrestling after they’d been dating a while. The end of 2012 has been a rough one on these reigning royal couple of homoerotic wrestling, however, with a nasty flare up of Skip’s Crohn’s disease putting the champion jobber in the hospital for a serious surgery. Today’s a banner day, however, both here at neverland and in the Taylor/Vance household. It’s a banner today here at neverland because that horny toad bear daddy Santa came through with another wish on my Christmas list: some sweet pics from the lives of the hottest wrestling couple reigning. It’s a good day in the Taylor/Vance household because Skip got to finally head home from his extended stay in the hospital, to be nursed back to health by what has to be just about the sexiest, tall drink of water to nurse a homoerotic wrestling lover back to health ever!
“On the fourth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me…”
So it seems like there are a lot of Christmas wishes getting fulfilled today. Fans of the reigning royal couple of homoerotic wrestling who want to help retire Skip and Christian’s medical debt can make even more wishes come true by donating here. And I’m incredibly happy for both Skip and Christian today, but I have to admit that I’m also very selfishly self-satisfied that on the fourth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me a few sweet glimpses into the off-the-mats world of the sexiest couple in homoerotic wrestling, Skip Vance and Christian Taylor.
You can fulfill your own Christmas wish by pre-booking with either or both of these boys for a wrestling match later in 2013!
Adorable Skip is ready to get back into his peak physical conditioning in order to return to the mats soon.
What a Christmas treat! The reigning sexiest homoerotic wrestling couple ready to face down any challenge and all comers! Santa, you rock, and Skip and Christian, I cannot wait to see the two of you work up a sweaty lather on the mats again in 2013!
I’m just coming out of a nearly comatose state after a raging cold made my sinuses feel like they were about to explode inside of my head. Right around now is the time that I would, in my fashion, likely subtly appeal for sympathy, perhaps pander a bit for encouragement, possibly even manage to go fishing for compliments somehow. However, catching up on the news I missed while my head has been threatening to explode, I realize that such a pity party would be a little ridiculous. Sure, there’s the horrific crime of an under-treated, under-diagnosed lunatic with not only access to but training and encouragement in the use of assault weapons, but frankly that’s not what I’m talking about. Let’s thank Reagan for deinstitutionalization of mental health care and “W” for happily watching assault rifles become legal again for that news. Chickens home to roost, as far as I’m concerned.
Skip Vance stays healthy every way he can.
What stopped me in my accustomed pity party is following up on Skip Vance’s FB feed. Skip, friend of this blog and all around stunningly hot jobberboy, mentioned in his interview here earlier this year that he has Crohn’s disease. Turns out he’s had a new flare up in the past week or so that’s sent him to the hospital, in a lot of pain, and facing significant surgeries and major pharmaceutical bills (oh, yeah, thanks for that, too, Republicans).
Word has gone out elsewhere and a crowd sourcing effort has managed to help Skip raise some much needed funding for his mounting healthcare costs. However, the hits keep coming, and in addition to still looking at a huge bill for necessary medications, he’s got mounting hospitalization costs accruing the longer he’s holed up getting poked and prodded and punished, and NOT in the good way.
So now that I think about it, if you’ve got pity to spare, send it my way. I can always soak up that crap. But if you actually want to make a difference for one of our own who’s in need of some assistance right about now, send your financial support here and keep track of Skip’s journey to hell and back here. And just as a testament to this kid’s ferocity, he’s already taking tentative pre-bookings for wrestling gigs in the coming months, once he’s kicked this latest episode in the ass.
Lot’s of love, Skip & Christian. We’re looking forward to having you back on your feet and taking another beating like absolutely nobody else can.
Ben Monaco, bless his soul, was the first to give me heads up that there was about to be something big and shiny landing on the scene at BG East. Ben reported after the now famous, blisteringly hot marathon of taping in Massachusetts two months ago that one particular tattooed adonis newbie was so smokingly hot that wrestlers were literally stealing glances out of the upstairs windows to get a first look at him during his solo backyard photoshoot. With the release of BG East’s Catalog 96, we now know who the scene stealer is: painfully pretty Pete Sharp.
What do you notice first?
Many things might grab your attention about lovely Pete… oh fuck that, you and I both know that we were both immediately transfixed by this pretty boy’s MASSIVE package! I mean, sure, when you’ve picked your jaw up off the floor, you’ll get a little lost in those baby blue eyes and handsome features of a 1950’s Hollywood leading man. Yep, you’re going to marvel at this tanned stud’s sweet proportions, mouthwatering pecs, luscious arms, and I lose all self-control when he flexes those tree trunks he calls legs. And yeah, without a doubt, that’s a top notch ass screaming (SCREAMING I say!!!) for a mercilessly stunning spanking. But interspersed throughout that virtual tour of his astonishingly hot body, we both know that you were repeatedly double-checking if that mass of muscle hanging between his legs was as big as you remembered it from 5 seconds earlier. Wow. Yeah. Um, wow.
The look in pretty Pete Sharp’s eyes says it all… well, that and his massively stuffed pouch.
The masterminds behind the scenes tapped long, sexy, Christian Taylor, a former homoerotic wrestler of the month on this blog, to break-in this epic rookie in Gazebo Grapplers 14 (which could possibly qualify as sexiest compilation from start to finish of any homoerotic wrestling collection). I’m totally making up the back story that Christian’s beau, scrappy Skip Vance, was just off camera hoping for his lover to conquer this Greek god and put him out cold so the two of them can tie him down and get their four hands all over that impossible to overstate bod. This imagined trophy take down does not materialize, sadly, but both of these on-camera grapplers get their hands all over each other. That massive hulk of a pouch protruding from Pete’s crotch is like a third participant in this match. When he wraps handsome Christian up in a standing full nelson, there’s Christian suffering, Pete threatening to break him to bits at the shoulders, and Pete’s package pressed tantalizingly against Christian’s ass. I’d still love to see Skip in this mix, but even without him, that’s still an awfully incredible threesome!
Christian puts the rookie on perfect display!
Christian, bless his soul too, works his ass off making sure to show off Pete’s best sides. The smooth, tanned stud spends a great deal of time locked up tight and split nearly in half, with his remarkable manhood framed front and center. And the still-frames don’t capture the kinetic qualities that make Pete about 1,000 times hotter in motion. That tantalizing mass in his trunks jiggles. It swings and sways. When he moves suddenly, it bounces heavily, proving via the laws of physics that there is NOT just some sock stuffed in there, but rather that’s more than a mouthful of real man dragging Pete’s waist band downward.
Pete presses his advantage
That third party in this match, Pete’s powertool, spends a lot of time smashed beautifully between the rock of his muscles and the hard place of Christian’s long, lean, powerful bod. There was clearly some codicil in Pete’s contract in which he stipulated that Christian would not get aggressive with that humungous vulnerability dangling between his meaty thighs, because there’s just NO other explanation for how Christian managed to go from start to finish in this match without grabbing hold with both hands (because it would require two!) and milking this adonis’ moneymaker in one raw-nerve screaming hunk submission after another. That’s not to say, however, that Christian has no contact with the trunk monster reaching out from Pete’s crotch at all times. Pete may be going for the cover to pin Christian’s shoulders to the mat, but it’s hard not to be fixated on the sight of Pete’s pouch grinding into his opponent’s midsection, stretching the tight confines of the metallic gold fabric like an animal struggling to escape captivity.
Christian restrains himself from going for the gold.
And Pete’s body scissors comprise one of the most astonishingly sexy homoerotic wrestling images I’ve seen in a long, long time, with his gorgeous body flexing and his sneering, perfectly white teeth flashing confidently. But even though Christian doesn’t go for the gold by yanking on that emergency exit handle, just trying his best to pry Pete’s legs apart inevitably brings Christian’s hand in contact with the intrusive presence of that huge pouch.
Lip-smackingly lovely muscle ass!
Who do I have to fuck to get Pete Sharp on a long-term contract to launch a long and (I guarantee) wildly successful homoerotic wrestling career? Because I’d love the leisure to study this stunning specimen in infinite detail and from every angle over and over, including that lip-smackingly lovely muscle ass! I want to linger on those glutes, to marvel at the mountains of muscle there on his backside that need to get clawed, first above board and then with a couple of expert hands slid down inside those tight trunks. I want to contemplate his glutes more… but fuck me if I can rip my mind away from projecting inside of Christian’s head as he feels Pete’s huge pouch grinding against his ass right there in that full nelson.
Like Christian, I’m appreciating this view a lot!
Pete Sharp’s rookie debut is truly a thing of beauty. I’m right beside those other BG East wrestlers who were irresistibly drawn to pull back the curtain to soak in the mind-boggling beauty that this man embodies from head to toe. I haven’t really mentioned his wrestling yet, which is uncharacteristic, so let me just marvel that the boy is every bit as strong as he looks. He’s already got a solid mat game that suggests this is most certainly not his first time putting a lucky bastard on his back. And he’s just plain fierce, clearly taking it personally and refusing to concede until Christian absolutely and entirely locks up this muscle monster like a vice. But that massive package is nothing short of epic, and I’m on my knees and praying like a son-of-a-bitch to the homoerotic wrestling gods for one, simple, unavoidable, pristinely perfect true and right thing to occur: Sharp and Goodman vs. Taylor and Vance.
Jake Jenkins is stunning to watch use those muscles to choke out Eli Black
Sometimes I think of myself as a homoerotic wrestling kink therapist. I often hear from wrestling fans who have questions and problems they want solved with regard to homoerotic wrestling. “Tell BG East to…” or “Why does Rock Hard Wrestling always…?” And not uncommonly, I get messages from readers who tell me that they “just need to vent.” For example, a reader and homoerotic wrestling fan recently “vented” to me in an email regarding a recurring frustration. Like me, he’s a major Jake Jenkins fan. And like me, he enjoys watching Jake kick ass. So when he sees a lot of JJ’s new releases in which the stud puppy clearly gets squashed, he’s irritated. This reader knows my recurring answer to these types of questions: tastes vary. Some of us likely get more kink for the buck to see a hot muscle kid like JJ dominated, while others of us get a harder push over the edge by watching handsome Jake on the conquering in of the equation. But this reader still questions what makes those on “the other side” tick, and what makes them want to see more and more of JJ getting owned.
Jake goes down in a puddle of sweat beneath a victorious Kid Karisma
This exchange brought to mind a similar brief correspondence I had with a reader several months ago, who asked me to exercise influence over Steel Muscle God to convince him to tape some wrestling action in which the godly one gets dominated. This is hardly the first time someone has vastly overestimated my influence. And it’s actually not the first time I’ve heard this particular plea. Personally, I LOVE watching SMG totally use an opponent, particularly one of thosehot muscleboys he’s pummeled lately. There’s an absolutely intoxicating scene in SMG’s recent release of a ring “bout” in which he repeatedly sleepers a hot, hard hunk. He puts the fiesty stud out flat on this stomach, and I’m 110% on board with the sell that this is an actual choke out. The hunk goes limp like a noodle. And when SMG shakes and shoves him and rolls him over, the hottie looks absolutely out cold. SMG prods and pokes the unresisting hunk, standing over top of him and flexing his guns, leering down into his slack face, until finally after a half a minute or so, the vulnerable hunk of meat comes to. Fuck me there something so erotic about that little exchange!
Steel Muscle God wreaks divine justice all over another hot muscle buddy
But ripping myself back to my topic for today. Some readers have repeatedly complained that SMG “always wins.” Why doesn’t he star in a muscleboy-in-trouble-scenario for those desperately waiting for him to stroke that g-spot where many fans get topped off by the powerful muscle stud shocked, laid out and humiliated? For the record, SMG has said that he does have a wrestling match in which he “loses,” but I haven’t actually seen it (I think you have to buy it separately from the membership site, and I’m too frugal). But the issue seems to be repeated from many of my kink therapy clients: “my getting off on a homoerotic wrestling match requires that my primary object of lust win (or lose).”
Brad Rochelle wrote the book in making a muscleboy loser epically homoerotic.
And both of these conversations call to mind still another set of exchanges I’ve had with a long-time commentator and avid student of homoerotic wrestling who more than once has chided me that I’m too focused on who wins and who loses. What tweaks the subconscious wrestling kink, he argues, is almost entirely unrelated to specifically whose shoulders are pinned to the mat or which hunk sobs, “I give!” The passion play that homoerotic wrestling presents us is about themes broader than the specific “winner” or “loser,” like broken egos, revenge on bullies, the battle of might versus right, or our personal secret longings to be dominated or to dominate. And, this commentator has also argued, it’s about much more specific elements than the literal “win” as well, such as the particular sell of suffering, how persuasively we’re sucked into longing to see someone punished, the precise angle at which a wrestler’s lower back is pried backward in a Boston crab that convinces us he’s hurting while simultaneously displaying is gorgeous body and bulging package so tantalizingly. There’s definitely the school of thought that literal “winning” and “losing” is almost entirely beside the point.
Brad Rochelle also looks GORGEOUS milking victory out of Patrick Donovan’s withering body!
I’ve pushed back against that hard line. I think the drama of coming out on top is very central to what strokes my homoerotic wrestling kink. The notion of two powerful men, both fully expecting to be top-stud as they climb into the ring is precisely the tension that thrills me. One of them will end up defeated, knocked down a peg, put in his place, while the other will stride out of the ring victorious, top dog, in control. Turn this into a non-competitive, everybody wins, nobody loses, passionless dance of pretty bodies, and I might as well be watching a yoga class, which even when the bodies are smoking hot, it’ll never do for me what a hot wrestling match does.
Pectacular Patrick Donovan also looks dizzyingly hot slapping down a humiliating victory all over Z-Man’s beautifully vulnerable muscle-bod.
And then there’s one last mental association I’m having with all of this talk of winners and losers. At the BGE Headquarters discussion group, someone who has frequently commented on this blog wrote a seemingly straightforward opinion, suggesting that he’d prefer the initial photo galleries in the membership site of BGE not “give away” which wrestler wins and which one loses. He suggested that he’d prefer to maintain the suspense, particularly for those matches that he’s planning on purchasing. Give him enough time to get the new release shipped to him before revealing who ends up top dog.
Z-Man can also delight in victory as he rips apart loser muscle boy Brody Hancock
Personally, I think this sounds entirely reasonable and well-reasoned. However, another commentator left a bizarrely mismatched diatribe mocking anyone who could “believe these matches aren’t fake.” This commentator prejudices his own oddly aggressive response by tying them to appalling politics, but my point is actually not his apparent political self-hatred. My point is really that he misses the point entirely. The point is not how choreographed wrestling-for-pay may be in any given example. The question of wanting to milk the suspense of not knowing who wins is wholly unrelated to whether the wrestlers or promoters are staging the matches as melodramas rather than as Olympic sport. It seems to me that the investment many of us have in winners or losers in homoerotic wrestling is entirely about how wrestling speaks directly to our erotic fantasies, not some “objective” evaluation of who, in a fair fight, would kick whose ass.
Babyface Brody Hancock also make victory look so, so sexual when he puts magically nippled muscle hunk Cody Nelson on his back for good.
Suspense, anticipation, the establishment of tension in the plot, the development of compelling characters who establish motivation and commit to their particular roles… these are essential elements of satisfying homoerotic wrestling as far as I’m concerned. However much a pretense it appears in any given match, the context of combat is a core component of what turns me on and tops me off as a homoerotic wrestling fan. It isn’t so much who would win in an actual barroom brawl (not at all, really), but who tells a provocative story about passion and heat, power and strength, skill and strategy, muscle and beauty, and, without a doubt, winning and losing.
Sweat soaked and savoring victory, Cody Nelson titillates musclebully fans when he crushes handsome, lanky, lovely Christian Taylor aka Chris Cox.
So why do some JJ fans never seem to get tired of seeing him humiliated and defeated? Why are others desperate to watch him use those gorgeous muscles of his to pick apart and make another hunk his bitch? How are some fans filled up on a steady diet of SteelMuscleGod owning one opponent after another, while others are insanely aching to see SMG crushed and dominated? I think this state of affairs is simply the landscape in which we live as homoerotic wrestling fans. Our fantasies vary, even as we share a common passion for the eroticism of wrestling drama. It seems clear to me that winning and losing is far from beside the point, and who wins and who loses is directly and intimately tied to what strokes many of us hardest. It’s not that we’re naively buying into the competitive pretense of wrestling-for-pay. I for one love watching Olympic wrestling, but the hottest amateur match is only a fraction as sexy as even the average homoerotic wrestling product as far as I’m concerned. Explicitly homoerotic wrestling is much bigger than the raw rules and tests of strength and skill of amateurs, and more importantly, the point is entirely different. The point of amateur wrestling is entirely winning and losing. But the point of homoerotic wrestling is to get you and me off, and while it’s not the whole story, the drama of winning and losing is one of the elements that makes wrestling the kink that defines me (and many of you!).
For my tastes, Christian never looked hotter than when he brutalized his lover and rumored-to-be tag team partner Skip Vance, tying together homo, erotic, and wrestling in as beautiful a bow as any victory ever has!
Sidelineland 