Jonny Firestorm – Page 8

Wednesday’s Woes

October 16, 2013October 16, 2013 wrestlebardLeave a comment

I’m entirely on board with the erotic power of a tree of woe. The ToW is an example of how some homoerotic wrestling gems simply require a professional wrestling ring. Hang a hammered hunk upside down in the corner, his knees draped over the top ropes and his feet locked in place beneath the cable connecting the turnbuckle to the post, and there’s all sorts of a hot wrestling gold that’s suddenly ripe for picking. It’s a maneuver that signals total control over a mastered man. The subject of woe is laid out so vulnerably, his body not just on display, but trussed up beautifully for easy access to innovative methods of torture. There’s a little crossover here between bondage kink and wrestling kink, with enough of both to show due respect to all parties involved, as far as I’m concerned. In honor of those of you who harbor a special place in your hearts and crotches for an agonizing, dominating, body manipulating tree of woe (and I hear from you often), this post is for you. Here are 10 ideas for what to do with an opponent once you’ve trapped him in a tree of woe.

jpwoe — Climb on top, knee crushing his balls, and celebrate like Brooklyn Bodywrecker.

coltonwoe — When finding yourself out-boxed, hang the fucker upside down and peel off his gloves to make this all about homoerotic wrestling, **like Brodie Fisher**.

diegowoe — Grab a dumbbell and bash your opponent’s six-pack abs, **like Eli Black**.

bobbywoe — Duck outside the ring and wrench the trapped fucker’s head backward, **like Cameron Matthews.**

lonwoe — Stop on his flowing locks and dare the muscleboy to squirm, **like Ethan Andrews**.

kylewoe — Stand outside the ring and threaten to rip his arms out at the shoulder, **like Alex Waters**.

austinwoe — Make sure his trunks are hooked on the turnbuckle and slipping off, then land a soaring drop kick to the helpless stud’s gut, **like Jonny Firestorm**.

shanewoe — Sit on his face, **like the Brooklyn Bodywrecker.**

jonnywoe — Pause and appreciate the view – and feel – **like Jarret Cole**.

kevinwoe — That’s right, a Tree of Woe/Bearhug/Headscissors combination, nice and snug in the crushing embrace of Cole Cassidy!

More Jonny

October 4, 2013 wrestlebardLeave a comment

There are some neverland readers, and you know full well who you are, who frequently pepper me with questions about Jonny Firestorm. “Did you get to feel his bicep when you met him at BG East?” “Was he as electrifyingly sexy in person as he is on camera?” “Is he ever going to film a match in which he wrestles naked?”

jonny

For the record, the answers are no (though next time…!), most definitely, and I have no idea. What all the questions drive home for me is that Jonny has got an intensely infatuated hardcore base of fans who are ready to live, breath, and (most of all) eat Jonny non-stop. Especially for them, though I think of interest to many homoerotic wrestling fans, Jonny has launched a professional website to satisfy more of your prurient interests in all things Firestorm.

Jonny now blogs, tweets, and takes orders for custom made matches, as well as makes himself available for private matches with eager challengers. I’ve put in an order for a custom match already, so get in line.

Considering Jonny’s embarrassing indictment at the end of Contract 10, just out in BG East’s catalog 100, this all makes me wonder whether Jonny’s hedging his bets should there be serious hell to pay for his literally turning his back on The Boss and, by extension, costing Kid Leopard the exclusive use and abuse of Brad Rochelle. More likely, I suspect, Jonny simply knows that there are a cadre of fanatics aching for more-access-Jonny.

If you’ve had a private match with Jonny, or with any other homoerotic wrestler out there, I’d love to hear about it. If you’ve ordered a custom match from him (or from Cameron Mathews, the only other wrestler on our scene that I’m aware of that offers this service), tell me how the creative process unfolded and how you feel about your final product. As for me, I love an entrepreneur with a hard body and a fetish for wrestling, so I encourage everyone to visit Jonny’s site, and all of the personal and professional sites of our homoerotic wrestling favorites, often!

jonny7 — Jonny Firestorm wants to give you more.

Stand and Deliver

September 19, 2013 wrestlebard4 Comments

There are some holds, some moves, some moments in homoerotic wrestling that are a sure bet to make me gasp a little and set off fireworks in my brain. I frequently mention my adoration of a beautifully executed OTK, for example. The position of the bodies, the contrast of powerful control and total vulnerability… hot, hot, hot every time. Another hold that regularly strokes my lusts with extra friction and speed is the standing headscissors.

There’s a lot to enjoy about a standing headscissors. The hold gives the hunk in charge the opportunity to display his upper body for adoration while his lower body bears down on the noggin trapped between his thighs. A dominating, powerful, beautiful body on display, as if he’s not in the ring but shooting a double bi for the bodybuilding competition judges, turns my crank hard.

stand9 — Kid Karisma owns, OWNS Skip Vance in **BG East’s Matmen 23!**

Unquestionably value added from this hold is the narrative. There’s a strong can’t-be-bothered subtext about a sweet standing headscissors that absolutely electrifies me. It’s as if the upright stud is saying (and sometimes, he actually does say) I’m so in control of you that I can make you suffer helplessly by just standing here. Just a flex of those quads, a shift of muscle barely noticeable from a distance, and the boy in charge captures his prey and makes him wail. The hold communicates that cocky, told-you-so, you-should-be-humiliated-by-how-helpless-you-are story that, little wonder, speaks to the very heart of my homoerotic wrestling kink.

stand7 — BBW applies a faceclaw to a totally crushed Dino Serra in Squared Circle IV, not because he needs to, but just because it’s so fucking hot!

Of course, I enjoy it when the hunk bearing down does bother enough to tear himself away from gloating and flexing and preening to rub in the total control and humiliation he owns in this moment. A completely unnecessary claw to the face, for example. Yanking on the poor fucker’s ears or hair, cinching his head up nice and tight, pressed against his new owner’s balls… that’s the ticket!

stand6 — Look, Ma, no hands! Jonny Firestorm crushes Andy Hammer in body and soul in BG East’s **Jobberpaloozer 8**.

The standing headscissors seems to me to never be about what it takes to best an opponent. Guys don’t pull this one out of their quiver in a flurry of moves and counter-moves, for the most part. This isn’t a competitive hold that brings an opponent to submission or pins his shoulders to the mat or even efficiently wears him down, nearly as much as it is a gloating, sadistic, exploitation of a groveling challenger who’s already been beaten down to size. The standing headscissors seems to me to logically appear in the chain of the well-told homoerotic wrestling story right after the tide-turning offensive maneuver, but a few moves before the stick-a-fork-in-it-you’re-done-mother-fucker finisher.

stand2 — Dante Rosetti’s gargantuan thighs say, “Welcome to your new home,” to Barry Longshaw’s skull in BG East’s **Fantasymen 9.**

My personal infatuation with the standing headscissors was featured in one of my favorite pieces of celebrity homoerotic wrestling fiction from my collection, the Producer’s Ring. The match pits Scottish bull Gerard Butler out to wipe the smirk off the face of English beefcake, Sean Maguire, after Sean’s sweetly humiliating parody of Gerard’s muscle-fantasy performance in the movie 300.

Which naked hunk grinds out a standing headscissors? Gerard Butler on the left (scene from “300”), or Sean Maguire on the right (scene from 300 parody “Meet the Spartans”)?

Again, the scenario is precisely after the tide-turner, before the official end of the match. Spectacularly muscled Gerard (damn, I love his body!) has been crushed (starting with his scrotum), and terrorized into total submission. Smart-ass hottie Sean verbally commands the groveling Scot to willingly shove his head in between Sean’s thighs. There’s a moment’s pause, but Gerard has been laid waste by this point. In a moment of complete submission, on his knees, he slides his head in, and Sean proceeds to crush, nearly rips Gerard’s massive shoulders out of their sockets, and then pumps out a two-fisted orgasm, slathering the Scot’s wide, rippled back in cum. Yeah, that’s pretty much how that fantasy rolls…

stand4 — Muscle fantasyman Wade Cutler gets milked dry trapped in an exquisitely beautiful standing headscissors by Nick Caruso in BG East’s **Hard Pros 6**.

Not long ago, in one of those nervous, self-concious, try-not-to-appear-criminally-obsessed moments, I wrote a personal note to encourage one of my top currently competing homoerotic wrestling infatuations to keep a standing headscissors in mind when he’s called up for another match. He promised me he’d take it under advisement. For my tastes, it’s underused, and some wrestlers can tell that story of total domination and barely-need-to-lift-my-finger-to-fuck-you-over narrative so, so well. My eyes are peeled, because just thinking about a standing headscissors is making me sweat!

A Contract Worth Signing [Guest Blogger: Alex]

May 18, 2013July 1, 2013 wrestlebard2 Comments

Like most people, I hate signing contracts. Whether it’s for cell phones, cable or the gym, companies love to lock us in then treat us like crap. BGEast is the exception, of course. They have a contract I was happy to sign. Not just once, but a whopping nine times.

For those that don’t know, The Contract is a fantastic series that stars Brad Rochelle, a true superstar. If there were a Hall of Fame for BGEast icons, he’d get in on the first ballot for sure. This is Brad at his best – believable as face and heel, victim and victor, dominator and jobber.

I love Brad’s nearly unmatched range in skill, attitude, flexibility and personality. He’s at his bendy best throughout. The beatdown from the Enforcer stands out for me, as does Brad’s initiations of studs like Alexi and Braden.

I love the long form storytelling aspect, which is so unique. Rock Hard Wrestling and Thunder’s Arena do have wrestlers reference past encounters, but it’s not quite the same feel.

I love the evolution of Brad’s character during the series from hapless victim to malevolent mastermind.

And I love Brad’s opponents. They include a who’s who of BGEast talent, from established stars to emerging talent to debuts by future favorites:

Unless I missed one, the ending for The Contract is left to the viewer to imagine. Brad gets ratted out, as KL is told what’s going on, but his wrath is never seen.

I’d love to see more series like this. Given the way these things work, what any company should do is either complete the entire series in one filming or at least film a concluding chapter in case the rest never gets filmed. I think people would be forgiving of changing bodies and hair styles to get closure. We’re used to it.

What are your thoughts? Love or hate The Contract? Would you like to see more series? Weigh in through the comments!
~Alex

Beating the Odds

April 12, 2013July 1, 2013 wrestlebard3 Comments

There are varying opinions about mismatched opponents in homoerotic wrestling. I get the argument that the intoxicating heat of the competitive premise can suffer when there is, or appears to be, little chance of an outmatched wrestler holding his own, much less taking possession of his opponent’s. Not infrequently, however, I have a sweet tooth for an apparent mismatch, for the tale of the tape that suggests there is no spread big enough to make this worth a bookie’s time. Just that first glimpse of some plucky hunk staring down (more often up) extremely long odds can grab my attention with both hands.

Brian Baker stares down his nose at goldenboy Austin Cooper

The long-odds wrestling match jumped front and center in my attention recently when I clicked through to the preview of my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, 5’9″, 170 pound Austin Cooper, trying not to have to strain his neck to look up at the stunningly handsome face of his young rookie opponent, Brian Baker (different one), who towers over him at 6’4″ at weighing in at an athletically lean 205 pounds. I’m downloading this promise at this very moment, inspired largely by the promise of seeing what Coop can do with the rook’s seriously lovely ass and long, tattooed torso. The online match description telegraphs (or, rather, painstakingly details) that not only does Coop tame the towering stud, but he humiliates Brian in a two-fall squash despite the 7 inches of height and 35 pounds of weight advantage the rookie comes in with. Please tell me Coop draws out the schooling just as long as his lovely pupil’s body is!

Drake Wild has his hands full taming massive muscle beast Tyler St. James

In the way the universe does sometimes, I was fresh off of getting all breathless over Coop and Brian Baker when I stumbled across more tantalizing preview pics of Can-Am’s first catch-weight version of a Pro Sex Fight. Men.com reports that the sweet, hot punk Drake Wild is 5’5″ and 140 pounds, which explains why he looks absolutely dwarfed by Tyler St. James, who Men.com reports is 6’2″ and 240 pounds of insanely thick muscle. That’s 7 inches and, I kid you not, a reported 100 pound difference, which is instantly translated into a sweaty brow and gasps of lust to see controlling the big man handily. Fuck, that’s hot!

Gorgeous giant Paladin makes even notorious heel Jonny’s eyes grow wide.

Apparently there’s something in the water these days, because BG East’s latest catalog also boasts one of those inspiring apparent mismatches with the 5’5″ and 160 pound version of Jonny Firestorm, staring up at the chart topping beauty of 6’6″ and 210 pound Paladin in the 3 Stages of Jonny. The online match description explains that Jonny’s been sent on a mission to cut the 6 and half foot giant down to size, but even Jonny and those magical forearms can’t prevent the man 50 pounds and over a foot taller from taking the first fall. It’s never a good idea to count out Jonny, or his forearms, prematurely, and yet again another “little guy” beats the odds, and his massive opponent, to a pulp.

Every ounce of Cybertron’s 65 pound weight advantage threatens to break babyface Ronny Pearl in half

And then there’s the case of 5’8″, 185 pound Ronny Pearl, who I mentioned so adoringly yesterday, encountering 6’2″ and 250 pound wrecking ball Cybertron in Ringwars 21. Compared to the previous 3 mismatches, Ronny’s “only” staring down a half a foot height difference (and, yeah, a 65 pound weight disadvantage). Nevertheless, Cybertron demonstrates what “odds” are all about, capitalizing on every inch and ounce of superiority to crush the flowing-haired rookie with more brutality than I’ve seen in a match in a long time!

Big Sexy isn’t about to let even two opponent’s kick his fine, fine, FINE ass!

And if we’re counting numbers and assessing odds, Thunders Arena has posted a couple of new matches recently the devolve into 2-on-1 double-teams. In Rough and Ready 33, peroxide punk Izzy was due to star in one of those totally outmatched features, though how much smaller he is than 6′, 205 pound Big Sexy is a mystery because he’s not listed yet in their roster (which seems ominous for his future). Regardless, 5’8″, 156 pound Python apparently steps in to help little Izzy out, wrapping those superman arms around Big Sexy’s throat and turning the tide. However, this is Big Sexy we’re talking about. Worse for the double-team, it’s Big Sexy bigger, sweatier, and more beautiful than ever, demonstrating that it’ll take a lot more than 2-on-1 for the likes of these boys to ever best the likes of Big Sexy.

Butt-to-butt-to-butt, Tak and Coop work over Braden Charron’s luscious muscles.

On the flip side, you’ve got twink of my dreams, Tak, getting more than he bargained for when he tries to work his twink-dominator magic on the bulging muscles of body beautiful Braden Charron in Rough and Ready 34. Braden is reportedly only 5’8″ and 155 pounds (really!? with that ass and those pecs, that astonishes me), whereas Tak is 5″10 and about the same weight, but even at the outset this looks like a mismatch for lean fratboy Tak. When things go decidedly not his way, fellow goldenboy Frey (aka, homoerotic wrestler of the month Austin Cooper) steps in to go butt-to-butt with his buddy Tak in delivering a lick-lippingly sexy double-team dose of humiliation on the bubble-butted beauty Braden. Braden stared down the odds stacked against him (and on top of him, and all around him) and learned the hard way that they’re “odds” for a reason.

Coop’s got the towering rookie right where he wants him.

Mismatches, long odds, David and Goliath… sometimes the little guys surprise us. Sometimes they don’t, and yet still delight us. However the contrast, the conventional wisdom turned on its head, is very frequently a provocative element in homoerotic wrestling that sorts me out just right.

Making Jake

March 15, 2013July 1, 2013 wrestlebard1 Comment

The next catalog apparently has a new Jake Jenkins match previewed in BG East Arena this week, in which the former homoerotic wrestler of the month squares off on the mats with always underestimated and deceptively dangerous Skrapper. It’s been a while since I posted a dose of Making Jake, so let’s consider more of the ABC’s that make Jake Jenkins such a compelling homoerotic wrestler.

K is for “kneel at my feet, bitch!”

..kneel. Pry your eyes away from the aesthetic perfection of Kid Karisma’s award-winning ass and appreciate the stunningly sexy dominance he has over Jake in their sexy-as-hell ring match for Hunkbash 12. I could come up with an A-Z catalog just documenting the insanely sexy wonders (yes, that’s 3 uses of the word “sexy” in 2 sentences!) that my top contender for reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler (Kid K) does to his highly acrobatic “monkey boy” opponent, Jake. Potentially the sweetest of all is when Kid K drags this lovely homage to Kevin Von Erich off the mat by a fistful of hair, his own stunning muscles pumped and primed, staring down at the sweaty, battered, beaten, slack jawed beauty before him as humiliatingly makes Jake kneel.

L is for leaping from the turnbuckle!

… leap. Speaking of acrobatics and being a monkey boy, there’s nothing more provocative about Jake than watching him in his natural habitat, swinging from the ropes and climbing the corners of a pro wrestling ring. The 5’7″, this top babyface of 2012 could make hay for days capitalizing on a low center of gravity and his hot, thick musculature. Fuck that. Jake loves to fly, like when Rock Hard Wrestling’s stud puppy, Cliff Johnson’s long lovely bod is flat on it’s back, the overhead lights spinning in his eyes, and his tag team partner a couple of miles away, helpless to do anything but watch his buddy about to get pummeled from projectile Jake. Cliff’s tantalizing helplessness laid out like a turkey dinner delightfully makes Jake leap!

M is for pushing the mild-mannered stud too far and making him mad!

… mad. I enjoy Jake’s range. For example, in his tag team match alongside partner Austin Cooper, staring across the ring at Lon Dumont and Nicholas Rush, he chuckles at the start of Tag Team Torture 15. The boys in stars and stripes think that they’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about. They’re gorgeous, powerful, and probably Coop’s biceps are about twice as thick and strong as newbie Nick’s quads. And they’ve partnered in the ring possibly the most of any current (or former?) homoerotic wrestling tag team, establishing a rapport and sweet empathy for one another’s trials in the action. But here, catch the look of fury on Jake’s face as Coop offers a hand to peel him off the mat after getting used and abused by my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont. The vulnerability of all that high octane muscle having to get a hand off the floor, combined with that rising boil of rage in his eyes is such sweet character development, as Lon Dumont makes Jake mad.

N is for watching your partner humiliated as you start to get nervous.

… nervous. That finely honed empathy Jake’s developed with frequent tag team partner Austin Cooper is a double-edged tool, of course. On the one hand, Jake and Coop can probably finish each other’s sentences like an old married couple by now, having grown to know exactly what to expect from one another in the heat of battle. Knowing your partner’s tolerances and limits, having confidence in your partner’s strengths and loyalty… these are fine weapons to bring to bear as a dangerously devastating tag team. Then again, all that empathy can serve just to share the suffering when one of you is getting crushed and humiliated and you’re stuck obeying the rules from your corner. When expert sadist and prettyboy basher Ethan Andrews gets his mitts all over Coop’s soaked, bulging body, things start to take a turn for the worse for team goldenboys. Locking Coop up tight in a camel clutch and prying his helpless head backward to show the camera the handsome stud’s tortured humility leaves Jake pleading with his partner to rally, stretching his hand hopelessly inside the ring so far out of reach, paining the fresh man in the corner to watch his buddy getting messed up and taunted, and with Coop fading fast and looking like he’s about to literally cry uncle, making Jake nervous.

O is for finally putting Mr. Mountain Dew out cold and leaving a little drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth, oblivious.

… oblivious. Jake is not at all unlike a can of Mountain Dew vigorously shaken and then popped open: a concentrated burst of energy exploding all over the ring with a sugary sweet aftertaste. Kid K called him a monkey boy because Jake doesn’t stop moving, climbing, leaping, sprinting. He’s a fantastic combination of grace and power, and even when he gives away a fall, you get the sense the rubber ball is just about to bounce right back up. So it’s probably no wonder that so many of his opponents can only claim an enduring victory over him after they’ve rendered the fitness model unconscious. All that kinetic energy, all that motion and coordination and acrobatics and emoting go slack, and the allure of a muscled athlete dozing away, completely at the mercy of another man, is the homoerotic wrestling money shot for me. What a thrilling climax it is to watch 2012’s top heel, Jonny Firestorm, take total possession of 2012’s top babyface in 2012’s best squash of the year, Jobberpaloozer 12, when he makes Jake oblivious.

Having put in my time marveling at Jake today, let me simply offer my assurances to BG East’s winner of best abs and best debut of 2012 that I’ll be stroking his ego as well, soon!

Still-Frame Fantasies

January 28, 2013July 1, 2013 wrestlebard6 Comments

I remember the first time I came across (so to speak) sites like Can-Am and BG East online. My heart pounded in my chest. This is exactly my thing, I thought! Holy fuck on a cracker, the images of hot athletes in minuscule gear captured in still-frame in provocative, evocative moments in wrestling sent off explosions in my head (and pants, sure). I emotionally wrestled for a while with my own closet before I ordered my first homoerotic wrestling videos. But that period after I first glimpsed homoerotic wrestling in still-frame online and before I had a video popped in the VCR to watch the action in motion was, in and of itself, a pristinely beautiful thing. The fantasies that those pics inspired could have fueled a small city with the combustion that they set off inside of me. Everything that came before and everything that came after the shutter going click to capture a given still-frame was alive with possibility that my virile imagination was thrilled to muse over. One homoerotic wrestling producer (not KL) once chided me gently for my infatuation with photos, since homoerotic wrestling is, by definition, a kinetic thing best (essentially?) defined in motion. But my homoerotic wrestling kink has always included a deep passion for the fantasies that a particular wrestling still-frame can ignite within me that, occasionally, exceeds the reality once I get my eyes on the video. With that in mind, I have a whole new batch of still frame fantasies ignited in response to the preview pics of BG East’s latest catalog release, Catalog 97. So many fantasies, so much erotic energy generated! And I’m a major fan of BG East’s commitment to document their products with both a videographer and photographer present. The boys with their eyes in the viewfinders of the cameras deserve major credit in my book, because these images are stunningly gorgeous!

I’ve been waiting to see this hairy beast that friend of this blog, Ben Monaco, discovered on camera, and Mat Scraps 2 finally introduces the world to pouty-lipped muscle beast, Alain LeClair. He’s 6 foot tall, 187 pounds, and with those telephone poles wrapped around Ben’s abdomen, he’s blowing my mind! There are more climax-worthy still frames in Ben and Alain’s match, including what looks like intense forced muscle worship, but this pic in particular, with Alain grinning as he watches Ben’s face twisted in agony, is incredibly hot!

The coverboy for Catlog 97 is the stud on the right in this shot, Arn Nedic, who goes gorgeous-muscle-to-gorgeous-muscle with insanely baby face muscleboy, Connor Cross in Motel Madness 12. I’m imagining that there will be an instant fan base lining up right behind Connor’s incredible muscle ass wrapped so unbelievably tightly in those baby blue trunks. However, there’s something dizzying about the shots of Arn that are already haunting my dreams (waking and sleeping). Holy fuck, look at those shoulders! His pecs alone are sending my erotic fantasies into overdrive. I don’t think I’ve ever harbored an intense erotic fascination for a Serbian go-go boy before, but I’ve got one now. Bad.

Just saying “Alexi Adamov versus Aryx Quinn” is enough to get me hard, but damn! The preview pics of this clash of titans in Ring Revenge 1 are wildly sexy. Is it possible that Alexi is still growing taller? Because he seems to dwarf his opponents more and more, despite facing the hot, smooth muscle bod belonging to someone like Aryx. Alexi captured, strapped to a ring post, and about to get those picture PERFECT abs pounded is like an image out of Greek mythology, and, of course, my erotic fantasies.

Drake Marcos has been incredibly delightful to get to know since his debut just a couple of months ago. He has the looks and the personality that instantly attract me. That Cheshire Cat smile and obvious enthusiasm for high stakes, profuse sweat, unrefereed erotic wrestling are profoundly compelling. But I have to admit, I sort of overlooked Ray Naylor when he debuted earlier in the autumn, my attention drawn more to the magic of his first opponent, Cameron Mathews. But this particular preview pic from Drake and Ray’s match in Mat Scraps 2 keeps me coming back to admire Ray’s beautifully sweaty back and that incredibly hot ass, positioned so perfectly with Drake’s face trapped in that luscious figure-4 headlock. Talk about cheek-to-cheek! What an image!

Again, there are a dozen evocative images from Eli Black and Diego Diaz’ ab-destroying ring match in Gut Bash 10: Eli Strikes Back. The size differential between these two men is amazing, and the side-by-sides that illustrate Diego’s beautifully musclebody towering over painfully lean “little” Eli tell an incredibly hot story. But there’s something about this pic of Diego’s gorgeous, hairy pecs stretched out, his glute flexed, his massive white boots on those incredibly long legs tucked up underneath Eli’s chin, and the pain contorting Diego’s handsome face into a mask of agony that’s got me hooked.

Again, there are a dozen pics of Denny Cartier’s Ring Revenge 1 match with beach buddy rookie Kai Sotelo, but I’m so enthralled with 2-time homoerotic wrestler of the month Denny Cartier that I can’t take my eyes off of this solo image of him. There are arguably “prettier” wrestlers. There are unarguably bigger wrestlers. But there’s just something about Denny that continues to stroke me hard. The fuck-me brown eyes in this shot are daring me to dive into the ring with him, I swear. And that dimpled chin of his was obviously stolen straight off of a 1950’s big screen leading man. I long to see Denny take a major league heel turn, but then again I also long to see someone not only best Denny, but give him a severe tongue lashing in defeat (with some lingering sucking saved for that chin and those nipples). So far, this is not the direction Denny’s wrestling has taken him with BG East, but pics like these have me helplessly writing that plot in my own mind.

Speaking of helpless! This image from Kid Vicious taking ownership of Len Harder in Ball Bash 3 is sculpture that deserves to be in an art museum. Every inch of this, every angle, everything is so fucking gorgeous!!! From the self-satisfied sneer on KV’s handsome face to the exquisite, gasping agony on Len, there’s a whole story (or 30) summed up in this one shot. The total mastery, Len’s semi-erect cock dangling vulnerably, the defensive-yet-amorous way the Len clutches KV’s neck with his right hand… I’m as captured by this photo as Len is completely captured by KV!

Lon Dumont’s physique is always profoundly pleasing to me, of course, but the shots of him from his Hair Stakes 1 (of many more, please!?) match with Ethan Andrews are pure fantasy gold. I remember in Lon’s Gut Bash battle against massively bigger Joe Robbins that Lon was not about to concede that big Joe’s body was better conditioned than petite Lon’s bodybuilder bod… except for the legs. Lon apparently has some insecurities about his legs, and side by side with the sequoias that Joe calls his thighs, Lon was giving all the credit to the big man beneath the belt. That was last bodybuilding season. A year or so later, Lon’s back and putting his hair on the line against recent addition to the BG East fold, Ethan, and clearly, Lon’s been blasting his legs like a madman. Hair pulling is, in and of itself, a major turn on for me (when done right), so this match is automatically high on my list. But this pic in particular, with Lon hanging so vulnerably in a tree of woe as Ethan steps on his long locks, sends me right over the edge. The drama, the beauty, and those pink trunks squeezed onto Lon’s smooth, lickable body is picture perfect!

Tyrell Tomsen and Jonny Firestorm have both, independently grabbed my attention often, including on the pages of this blog. Jonny’s photo expose on his stunning forearms was one my favorite Christmas gifts this year, and Tyrell has been a vision of physical perfection in the ring making me swoon. The pairing of these two is an intoxicating idea for Ring Revenge 1, and this image of Jonny hanging, body tensed and suffering as sweat drips off him, in Tyrell’s lovely bearhug is fantastic. This is another example of the visually stunning proportions of two bodies sized entirely differently. Jonny’s track record as a serious badass award winning heel, paired with the screaming agony on his face as he suffers helplessly in Tyrell’s arms, sends my homoerotic wrestling fantasies into overdrive!

Ty Garrison has been making me cum for years now, appearing in BG East UK releases for a long time. Like Denny Cartier, Ty gives me such a powerful hit of a “real” bloke, a guy who quickly rips to shreds any awkward pretense of a wrestling scenario on camera to get down to a seriously competitive and fiercely focused wrestler. This Motel Madness 12 pic of Ty’s face smothered against the crotch of a another “Denny,” that is, this stunningly pretty refugee from some French boyband, Deni Dupuis, does all sorts of things to my wrestling kink. Tighty whities, Brit footie fan vs. French beauty, lovely rookie vs. thoroughbred veteran… this works me into a lather in an instant.

My final still frame fantasy from BG East’s new release of Catalog 97 is this incredible shot of hairy heel Morgan Cruise flexing in victory with muscle hunk Marc Merino’s head locked up tight between Morgan thighs as the big, gorgeous, naked jobber tops himself off in obedient submission. Again, the contrasting bodies, the stark naked beauty, the narrative written across Morgan’s gloating face and the completely dominated position of Marc… damn, this is a stunningly hot image. I know that Muscle Destruction 1 is a 1:1 battle, but this shot inflames my desperate imagination longing for a full contact tag team story. Just picture this view as belonging to Marc’s tag team partner, watching from the corner helplessly as his big, powerful muscle stud of a partner is so completely humiliated and destroyed. Or, better yet, picture this perspective as belonging to Morgan’s tag team partner, having subdued whoever Marc’s chump of a tag partner is, and leaving Morgan’s wingman to slowly stroll up, kneel down between Marc’s gorgeous thighs, and force those bronze knees apart.

There are more beautiful, tempting sensations to be sampled in Catalog 97, but these particular images captured my imagination hard, igniting countless fantasies of what could lay behind and ahead of these moments in time. I’m looking forward to getting my eyes on the matches themselves, no doubt. I’m a wide-eyed fanatic for trash talk, and did I mention that Lon Dumont and Ethan Andrews face one another in the ring in Hair Stakes!? But for the moment, the particular titillation of these still-frame fantasies take me back to those first moments of discovering the online world of homoerotic wrestling and knowing that whatever the reality of the matches themselves, these images are beautiful proof that this kink I love is something I share with a whole lot of others.

Best of…

January 22, 2013July 1, 2013 wrestlebard10 Comments

The best of BG East in 2012 poll results have been posted. Joe’s also posted a summary of the winners, implying that he and the popular vote may have parted ways at several points. Same for me, I think. Honestly, I can’t remember who I voted for in several categories, despite the fact that I voted just a few days ago. It’s probably the remnants of my anti-inflammatory and pain meds working their way out of my system.

Sexiest Match: StripStakes 3 – Morgan Cruise vs Damien Rush

I do like numbers though, and I’m happy to see a few more data points available than just who won. For example, Morgan Cruise’s rip ‘n strip ‘n force to cum rookie welcome of Damien Rush in StripStakes 3 scored the trophy for sexiest match in 2012, but check the stats. The match I voted for, Cage Thunder and Lightning Rod’s insanely sexy 2-on-1 destruction of achingly adorably Stinger in Masked Mayhem 9 was just 1 percentage point behind. I think the heat of this competition deserves seeing Cage Thunder and Lightning Rod tag team once again, this time against Morgan and Damien!

Best Mat Battle: Matie Rookies Eli Black v Jake Jenkins

I was with the herd in selecting best mat battle. Jake Jenkins and Eli Black’s Mat Rookie confrontation is a match I think will stand the test of time. And it was 20 percentage points ahead of 2nd place! When we do a best of the best vote for the next decade anniversary or 100th catalog of BGE, I think Jake and Eli could contend for the title against a broader field.

Best Ring Match: Babyface Brawls 2 Austin Cooper v Cameron Matthews

I can’t remember for certain, but I think my vote for best ring match went with runner-ups Jonny Firestorm and Jake Jenkins in Jobberpalooza 12: The Works, rather than category winners Cameron Matthews and Austin Cooper for Babyface Brawl 2. I wouldn’t argue with that outcome at all, really, even though just 5 percentage points separated 1st and 2nd place. I thought that was a very competitive category with several very worthy contenders.

Top Babyface: Jake Jenkins

For best babyface, I think I again went with the herd in picking winner Jake Jenkins who pulled it out by 6 percentage points over Austin Cooper. There are extremely fierce fans in both of these boys’ camps, so I’m not surprised they rose to the top. I’m sort of pleased that of the two, Jake topped Coop.

Top Heel: Jonny Firestorm

Honestly, I just can’t remember who I voted for top heel, but it could have been winner Jonny Firestorm who beat out equally likely candidate I may have voted for, Kid Karisma, by 11 points. Since there was no category for most mindblowing forearms (next year, people!), I’m glad Jonny tucked this one under his belt.

Best Squash: Jopperpalooza 12: The Works Jonny Firestorm v Jake Jenkins

Best squash was not close at all, but I sided with the 17% of decisively swung for Kid Karisma’s gorgeous, sexy beatdown on Skip Vance in Mat Mayhem 23 rather than category winner Jonny Firestorm and Jake Jenkins for Jobberpalooza 12: The Works. I’m glad The Works got a shout out somewhere in the poll results, though. And the writing was on the wall, really, with Jake voted top babyface and Jonny voted top heel!

Jobber of the Year: Rio Garza

Jobber of the year went to fan favorite Rio Garza by 9 percentage points over my pick, Skip Vance. Rio’s got an extremely loyal and not infrequently aggressive (to the point of rude) fan base that makes this result unsurprising to me. For my tastes, however, Skip is much more a classic jobber and entertaining sell. Rio’s awfully entertaining to watch job, too, though.

Debut of the Year: Eli Black

Again, I think was with the herd in picking Eli as the best debut of 2012 by 12 points over Damien, though this could easily have gone a different direction and I’d have been entirely on board. It feels like Eli’s been at BG East for years and years, which suggests to me why this was, as Eli would be happy to tell you, his year!

Best Spotlight Release: Wrestler Spotlight: Austin Cooper

Best spotlight release feature was an 11 point spread between Eli and category winner Austin Cooper. While this doesn’t surprise me, and if I were a betting man I’d have put money down and made money back on this outcome, I placed my vote for last place winner Denny Cartier because his Leopard’s Lair 4 anchor position was fucking AWESOME, and essentially 4 barnburner and brutal bouts for the price of 2. I love, love, love me some Denny Cartier and one of my fondest wishes for 2013 is to see him tap into a nasty streak and headline a new category for next year’s voting: best heel turn!

Best Abs: Eli Black

Best abs was a surprisingly (to me) narrow victory of 2 points by Eli over Jake. What makes for “best” when it comes to bodies and their parts is, obviously, subjective, however my vote went for Lon Dumont by a mile and a half. At the risk of pissing off Eli, I just have to say Eli’s phenomenal 8-pack seems to me to be about 60% conditioning and 40% mass, whereas Lon’s anatomy chart abdominals (the whole pacakge: serratus, obliques, abdomini) are a more aesthetically balanced and all around stunning beauty. I don’t begrudge Eli’s victory at all, mind you, but I just shake my head and contemplate my vast distance from the herd when I see that Lon placed last. For me and my tastes, I think this calls for a Lon v Eli gut bash in 2013.

Best Bulge: Mr. Joshua Goodman

I was, however, right in the middle of the pack in voting for best bulge winner (by 4 points) Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), who slapped down his junk to power hit past Gabriel Ross’ anaconda. There wasn’t one candidate in this field that couldn’t easily own the title, and I’d go so far as to say that this year was a bumber crop of mountainous packages. Now the task for 2013 is for one of those club boys that he likes to take home and challenge to wrestle for the chance to put Mr. J on his knees, to literally shock the pants off of Mr. J and finally, finally, finally unleash the beast within. I guarantee I’ll buy three copies of that release!

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best butt was a horse race between category winner Kid Karisma and 2nd place finisher (by a nose) Cameron Matthews. While we can’t go wrong with any of the contenders for this title, I’m happy to admit I voted for and was campaign chairman for Kid K’s glorious glutes to grab this title. Again, I say, the ferocity of this competition clearly warrants a Kid K v Cameron rip ‘n strip ring battle to be decided by who makes whom kiss his ass. I’ll pay a premium for a front row seat to that one!

Best Body: Rio Garza

Best body again revealed the distance between me and the herd, with Rio Garza taking the title by 4 points over 2nd place Austin Cooper. Arguably, this could be the most subjective of all of these wildly subjective categories, because what bodies turn us on follow such divergent tastes in bodies among wrestling fans. If this were strictly about physical conditioning and muscle mass, the 2 bodybuilders at the bottom of the heap, Magnus and my choice Lon Dumont, could have easily vied for the top spots. Again, this line of reasoning makes my loins ache to see Magnus and Lon in a head-to-head catchweight ring match of bodybuilding beauties. However, 21% of fans preferred the body of beautifully proportioned, lickably smooth Rio, which I get, despite my tastes drawing me strongly elsewhere.

Hottest Liplock: X-Fights 34 Gabriel Ross and Drake Marcos

The final category placed me back among the masses in selecting the blazingly hot X-Fights 34 match between Drake Marcos and Gabriel Ross, obliterating the competition with 54% of the vote! Truth be told, I could easily be tempted to swing for the incredibly sexy and, yes, I’ll say it, wrestling romantic liplock that Enforcer slapped on Maskador in Masked Mayhem 10 as the ripped hunk hung battered and helpless in a tree of woe, halfway to being entirely unmasked. I admit it: I’ve also gotten off to that scene from Spiderman where Tobey Maguire hangs upside down, his masked half pulled off, as his co-star sucks hero face. Gorgeous fantasy! But holy hell, the heat generated by Drake and Gabriel could heat Reykjavik for year!

What a year! BG East pieced together an incredible collection of outstanding homoerotic wrestling, and all of the nominees and the entire catalog of 2012 releases deserves all this and much more credit. Nicely done, gentlemen!

Your Civic Duty

January 17, 2013July 1, 2013 wrestlebard5 Comments

There’s no category for most phenomenal forearms, but you can vote for Jonny Firestorm as Best Heel of 2012.

I’m still recovering from a wrenched neck, but I wanted to broadcast loud and clear your moral imperative to vote in the currently (and briefly!) running, first ever (I believe), BG East year-end review fan poll. We have 14 categories to vote for our favorites of the 2012 BG East releases, and the decisions are brutal, I tell you! I just submitted my ballot, and I found it seriously tough to pick from the extremely fine field of contenders. The Best Bulge category alone took me about 20 minutes to painstakingly research, because how do you decide between the pendulous packages of Joshua Goodman (that’s Mr. Joshua to you!), pretty Pete Sharp, Jobe Zander, Dylon Roberts, and Gabriel Ross!? I don’t want to unduly influence the democratic process, so I’ll try to refrain from telling you who to vote for (though, seriously, people, check out my first day of Christmas present before you register your vote for Best Butt!).

For your consideration: Kid Karisma is up for Top Heel and Best Butt

This blog is also abundantly quoted in the year end celebration from BG East in which they announced the poll. I feel like I say it a lot, but it bears repeating, the boys at BG East (both in front of and behind the cameras) are true friends of neverland, not just because they produce the top tier homoerotic wrestling products available, but also because they indulge me with permissions to use their copyrighted materials. And most importantly, they’re just good guys… generous, understanding, and having just as much fun making these wrestling fantasies happen as you and I enjoy consuming them. Whoever comes out on top of the polls, BG East is chocked full of winners in my book.

Lon Dumont is nominated for Top Heel, Best Abs, Best Butt, AND Best Body!

Now go vote, because polls close this Sunday, January 20, midnight EST. And if you do want me to tell you who to vote for, just ask.

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, Santa Brought to Me…

January 5, 2013July 1, 2013 wrestlebard3 Comments

On the first day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Kid Karisma’s picture perfect ass.

On the second day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Ben Monaco’s luscious, furry pecs.

On the third day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Steel Muscle God’s tree trunk thighs.

On the fourth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Skip and Christian’s wrestling romance.

On the fifth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Darius’ muscle-packed trunks.

On the sixth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Kid Vicious’ domineering sneer.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Lon Dumont’s insanely ripped back.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Mason Brook’s intoxicating nipples.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Cage Thunder’s mouthwatering cock.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Drake Marcos’ wrestling kinked smile.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me Jonny Firestorm’s gorgeously sculpted forearms.

“On the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me…”

The final wish I whispered into Santa’s ear felt like possibly the most daring fantasy of all. I was incredibly fortunate to get to spend about half a day with a certain homoerotic wrestling god about a year and a half ago. The master of the house, this iconic heel turned wrestling producer showered generous hospitality on me, showing me every corner of BG East headquarters where many of my fondest wrestling fantasies have taken place. Near the end of my visit, he invited me to join him as he sat down at his computer and pulled up the unedited photos of the upcoming BG East catalog (Catalog 89). I stood behind his chair, looking over he shoulder as he clicked through literally hundreds of pics, zipping past most, and then pausing to soak in a particularly titillating shot. “Mmmmm,” he’d mutter appreciatively, “look at that!” A photo of Mitch Colby’s hot muscled bod draped helplessly across the top turnbuckle, about to be battered by big Vlad Varek made my host groan and made my cock ache. I got the first outside glimpse of masked mountain of muscle Magnus force feeding his monster cock to fellow rookie Surge, to the soundtrack of my host letting out a little gasp of pleasure as he paused on a shot from behind Magnus, dwarfing his opponent, as Surge’s hands worshipfully cupped Magnus’ massive glutes. My host would fly through dozens of photos and then something would catch his eye, and when he paused on a shot long enough for me to soak it in, I’d see it. A particularly sexy angle, a display of exquisitely tortured muscle, an incredibly hot grimace of agony or sadistic, sexy leer. His taste, his eye for what speaks most directly to my own homoerotic wrestling kink, was astonishing to witness, and his commentary as much as the graphics left me slightly dizzy and hard a rock. With that memory crystal clear in my mind, I whispered to Santa, I want to see just a glimpse of what he sees. And on the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me an entire collection of what catches the eye of the man who has pretty much defined my homoerotic wrestling kink, an astonishingly beautiful montage of moments directly from the desk of Kid Leopard.

Dawn breaks over the lake at BG East.

Skrapper rolls out of bed, ready for a day of wrestling

Drowsy Christian Taylor looks for breakfast, with pretty Pete Sharp in the background

“The irrepressible Lon Dumont” saddles up to the counter with his gorgeous recruit, pretty Pete Sharp

“Since you like bespectacled wrestlers,” the note from KL says, “here Nick Rush laces up beside a contemplative Lon Dumont prior to their match with Austin & Jake.”

Beauty, grace, power: Jake Jenkins takes to the air

Stunningly handsome and beautifully proportioned: All-American Austin Cooper

Bespectacled (thus extra hot) Lorenzo Lowe looks like the meat sandwiched between Jonny Firestorm and Kid Vicious

Lobolito watches as Drake texts illicit photos to neverland

Canadian Beef: The Boss included in his bundle of Christmas presents this never before seen (but much anticipated) preview of Ben Monaco and a new massive, hairy muscle beast due out in the next BG East catalog!

News Flash: Liam Ryan is bearded, bulked up, and ready for one of the most epic returns to BG East wrestling ever in 2013!

Did Kid Leopard’s eye for homoerotic wrestling mold my tastes, or does he simply have instinctive insight into what turns me on? Either way, like Santa, Kid Leopard is an incredibly generous friend of neverland, and his generosity and genius continue to turn me on like nobody else can!