Drake Marcos – Page 6

And the nominees are…

February 8, 2015 wrestlebard1 Comment

Mere hours are left for you to register your votes for the 2014 BG East Besties. The last 4 categories I have to reflect on are what I think of as the most dramatic and titillating. Like saving “best picture” and “best actor in a leading role,” I’ve held off on reflecting on these because these mean most to me in any ways. First up, let’s look at those who sold the most compelling characters this year, beginning with nominees for Top Heel.

morganheel — After a bumpy start in BG East his first go a couple of years ago, Morgan “the Mastodon” Cruise has been a perennial heel. Vicious, merciless, with no regard for life or limb, much less rules or good taste, he’s very on point at all times. His monologues tend to be constant, regardless of his opponent, and I long for new depths of sadism fro him. But he’s got a ton of fans.

guidoheel — Guido Genatto has a boatload of nominations for Best Ring Match, Best Squash, Best Submissions, Best Overall Match. He doesn’t just heel, he obliterates. He’s a steam roller who delights in cheating because, fuck, who’s going to try to stop him? Definition of a heel.

laneheel — Lane Hartley has so much swagger and he’s so damn pretty, he nearly slides out of heeldom when I picture him in my mind’s eye. He’s relentless and deeply sadistic. He takes great pleasure in the screams and tears of his victims.

karismaheel — My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler Kid Karisma drips with contempt, supremely confident that his muscle and might will roll right over every victim placed in his way. I don’t think of him as a dirty tricks wrestler, because he’s just so fucking dominant, why would he need to rely on cheating? Sadistic as shit, yes, but the top heel?

thunderheel — Cage Thunder is a top shelf heel at all times, even though his appearances in 2014 were scarce. The mask, the body, that awesome cock… everything about him is perfectly tuned to inspire terror. He did what he does fabulously, but with just one match on the books this year, will he claim Top Heel of the year?

Shockingly, the reigning Top Heel the past two years running, Jonny Firestorm, was absent from this year’s slate. Was Jonny’s work somehow less dominant, less dastardly, less sadistic? With him suspiciously out of the way, however, someone is definitely taking the crown for the first time. I’m leaning toward Guido because of both quantity and quality of his matches. His trash talk alone is terrifyingly hot, but his muscle domination and indy pro heel superiority are absolutely soul crushing. I’m guessing fans will break his way or possibly Morgan’s. I think Cage Thunder is a long shot this year solely because he didn’t put up more evidence of his heel mastery in 2014, but he very well could be the sentimental favorite of long-time fans.

Top Jobber is crazy competitive this year. I would argue a jobber is not someone who just gets squashed, but someone who sells that he whole heartedly believes he has a fighting chance, even mounts some offense and keeps the suspense building, but sooner or later, inevitably goes down in crushing defeat. A jobber isn’t a pushover. He’s not a joke. He inhabits a full story arc, even if the outcome is as certain as the sunrise. You and I know a jobber is doomed from the start, but he doesn’t. Let’s take a look at the contenders for this nuanced category.

tyjobber — Ty Alexander has been a house on fire his debut year. I think he’s a clear frontrunner for Debut of the Year, and he quickly developed the narrative of his legitimate skill and enthusiasm doomed to be crushed under foot. At times I wondered if his masochism was too far in front, if he wanted to be beaten so bad that he collapsed the suspension of disbelief. But he assembled an army of fans who I’m sure are behind him (because the view is so damn fine from back there).

kirkjobber — I got harassed for discounting Kirk Donahue’s qualifications to be in the Best Butt contention, so I realize I may be asking for it again when I say that, although he made my crotch stir hard with an epic sell jobbing in 2014, it was just one match. The suspense lasted about 17 seconds before Guido was grinding the kid into pulp, which he sold like a champ, but still, was it enough to say he was Top Jobber for 2014?

jjjobber — Jake Jenkins carries so much water at BG East it’s amazing. Total top tier, multi-award winner babyface, he took major beatings in the ring in 2014 establishing a fantastic claim to be considered Top Jobber. Ignore his mat work. That’s a whole different JJ, and BGE deploys their boys in different genres with entirely different aptitudes. In the ring, though, in those “beat me” American flag trunks, he was an incredible jobber.

ofcourseajobber — Drake started the year first jobbing hard for Mason Brooks and then getting pissy with me for admiring what a hot jobber he is. The handsome jobber fucking HATES being called a jobber, which somehow merely makes it only that much more certain that he’s such… a… JOBBER. To top it off, after searching the ranks of bloggers to find someone he can finally beat, he still ended up in a tree of woe with my heel grinding into his defenseless chest. What a jobber…

kipjobber — Kip Sorell is one tasty muscle jobber. His claim to Top Jobber seems clearer than his contention for Top Babyface, as I mentioned earlier. However, I’m not entirely sure Kip honestly believes at any point leading up to or during any of his matches that he has a snowball’s chance in hell. That makes him blur somewhere between a doomed character in a Greek tragedy (aka, a jobber) and a helpless victim of a mugging/attempted rape (aka, a farce). Fans love him every time he suffers hard, though.

Tough call, with a ton of blurry lines depending on exactly what you think and feel about jobbers in general. Two-time winner Rio Garza was not nominated this year, leaving the field open for a first-timer to be guaranteed the crown. With the fond memory of him out cold, stripped naked, and with his trunks stuffed down his throat in the middle of the ring after coming face to face with a certain blogger, though, I have to punch Drake Marcos’ ticket (once again) for Top Jobber. I think his biggest competition for this one is Ty, with the difference being, in my mind, mainly the certainty that Ty would love to be Top Jobber, while Drake would hate it. Paradoxically, I think that gives Drake the edge here. Long shot I think is JJ, mostly just because some people will vote for him regardless what the category is. He’s so complex, though, and you have to partition out his mat work to fully justify him as Top Jobber.

Hottest Liplock may not be a category others think of as the top tier choice to make, but I fucking LOVE this category. Like “Best Submissions in One Match,” the context isn’t entirely clear. A particular liplock? Perhaps not, since the nominees are just matches. I love wrestling liplocks, though, so however you slice it, I’m so into this category.

drakelip — Babyface Brawl X was sexy as hell and a fantastic concoction of bitter aggression and full on sexual arousal, which is one of my favorite formulas. Drake and Ty were fighting for victory, for dignity, and most of all, for Drake’s trunks. Some of the hottest liplocks are NFSW, but every one left me wondering whether it would be interrupted by more bitter fighting, which makes everyone of them hot, hot, hot.

rosslip — Wrestle Shack 18 was full of full on homoerotic wrestling lust between Gabriel Ross and Christian Taylor. This was a fantastically sexy pairing, with tons of value added for the stark contrasts between their bodies. Christian is reigning kissing champion of BG East in my book, but I don’t know if Gabriel was as convincingly committed to the liplocks.

treylip — Holy shit Trey Dixon and Skip Vance were on FIRE by the end of their Gear Wars 4 match. How no penetration appeared on camera is a mystery to me, because Skip’s rod is visibly throbbing and Trey looks like a starved man sitting at an Old Country Buffet. This particular jockstrapped, cock-sitting, body-scissors-oh-fuck-it-let’s-suck-face moment brings a tear of ecstasy to my eyes every time.

kaydenlip — Raunchy Rookies 7 saw the seismic double debut of Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander, putting up one of the sexiest, most explicit, fully erotic wrestling matches I’ve ever seen a rookie (much less two) manage. Kayden looks like he could eat the face off of adorable Ty, but the corporal domination leads ultimately to merely a double explosion in the middle of the ring. Sizzlingly hot liplocks, particularly once the gear is stripped.

masonlip — Pain & Punishment 1 has locked down a boatload of nominations all over the place, so yet again consider the fine eroticism of Mason Brooks squelching Drake Marcos’ screams of anguish with an intoxicating liplock. Not nearly as many liplocks in this bitter, bitter feud as for other contenders, but the aggressive, dominating, domineering face suck is enacted to perfection.

So many fantastic liplock moments that speak to the very heart of what moves me most about homoerotic wrestling! If I could vote for all of the nominees, I would, because they all rocked me dizzyingly hard. Just one, though? Fuck. It’s razor close between Babyface Brawl X and Gear Wars 4. My vote finally goes to the homoerotic jobber wonder twins, Drake & Ty, whose Babyface Brawl X was incredibly innovative and pushed the envelope in all the right directions. I have no idea what the majority will vote for in this category. I won’t be surprised for whoever wins, though I’m pulling for the jobber wonder twins.

Now for Best Overall Match of 2014…

guidobest — Guido Genatto once again complicates the field with two entries, first for Demolition 17 against Jake Jenkins. I don’t know if a squash is likely to win because of the constituency that just doesn’t like them, though this one was incredibly tasty.

kirkbest — Demolition 18 found Guido again crushing another jobber like a grape, this time wunderkind Kirk “don’t-discount-my-ass” Donahue. This match definitely made me most genuinely concerned for the life and limb of a wrestler this year. Was it best overall?

treybest — Mat wrestling entries for Best Overall Match include Passion & Punishment 1’s Trey Dixon v Skrapper. Intensely, intimately, shockingly erotic without an ounce of hot, hard, painful wrestling action spared. Incredible match. Totally legitimate finalist for this category.

drakebest — Yet another Pain & Punishment 1 entry is Drake Marcos getting schooled like a stubborn pup by sexy as hell philosopher king Mason Brooks. This match pushed all my buttons a lot. Awesome drama that extended well beyond the narrative on camera. Fantastic wrestling, awesome suffering, sweat, luscious bodies… I’m convinced, but I’m slightly surprised it pulled the nominating committee to include it.

zmanbest — Pretty boy ring feast, Ring Hunks 2 makes a surprise entry here (as far as I’m concerned). Truly a watershed moment to watch Z-Man really come into his own and set the pace, control the tempo, and tell the story (not to mention fucking own every inch of Kip Sorell). Another squash though, making all 3 ring match entries in this category way one-sided. Not judgment on my part, just an observation.

cameronbest — Submissions 9 puts in the last contender with Cameron Matthews and Lorenzo Jake Lowe chaining together one dizzyingly hot hold after another until everyone is coated in sweat (and most of us on this end of the screen coated in other bodily fluids). Highest quality mat wrestling, big egos, energizer bunnies, bitter aggression.

I’m fascinated that all three ring match entries are squashes. That, along with Guido’s double entry, really fucks with my confidence in predicting a frontrunner. My vote is going to Mason and Drake because of several factors, including Mason’s gorgeous naked ass, Drake’s horrified whimpers, bitter trash talk, a gallon of sweat, and the ball rolling that would lead to me snapping Drake’s photo flat on his back under my foot about 9 months later. Extremely close 2nd place for me is Trey and Skrapper. Holy fuck that’s one over-the-top hot, hard fought, insanely sexy match. My barely better than a random guess for the majority on this one is Cameron and LJL, mostly because of Cam’s fan following. I think long odds are on Guido & Kirk.

If you haven’t voted yet, this is your Bard approved final ballot to point your way to where my tastes take me:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion & Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Match: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos brought to whimpering tears by Mason Brooks

Best Ring Match: Tag Team Torture 17 – Dumont/Baynard v Reno/Walsh

Best Debut: Ty Alexander

Top Babyface: Denny Cartier

Best Squash: Jobberpaloozer 13 – Austin Cooper v Leo Tomasi

Best Submissions in One Match: Wet & Wild 7 – Trey Dixon’s face-to-crotch headscissors on Mason Brooks

Top Heel: Guido Genatto

Top Jobber: Drake “damn-it-I’m-not-a-JOBBER!” Marcos

Hottest Liplock: Babyface Brawl X – Drake Marcos v Ty Alexander (aka, the homoerotic jobber wonder twins)

Best Overall Match of 2014: Pain & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos sniveling and choking like a jobber punk beneath Mason Brooks

And the nominees are…

February 5, 2015February 5, 2015 wrestlebard5 Comments

The link the the Best of BG East voting disappeared from the BG East homepage, but I swear I saw that you had until Sunday at midnight to cast your ballots. Hopefully, if you’re still undecided, you still have time. And hopefully I can offer this voter’s guide and my personal take on the field in a few more categories. Let’s start today taking a look at the hotly contested and highly controversial Best Body nominees. What makes for “Best Body” has got to be even more subjective than what we evaluate as best body part by body part. Me, I like all sorts of bodies, but when I think “best” I think superior fitness, muscle mass, proportion, symmetry, balance, and that most subjective of them all, beauty. Here are the contenders for Best Body at BG East in 2014.

kkbody — I’ve been explicitly campaigning for months for Kid Karisma to take the title this year, because, fuck, look! All those qualifiers I mention above as my personal criteria are summed up right here in my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler. He’s also making a play for a Best Butt 3-peat, and I’m slightly aghast that he didn’t get a nomination for Best Abs.

Chacebody — For those who like them brawnier, burlier, hairier and with tweezed eyebrows, Chace LaChance is certain to make a strong showing. Interestingly he’s not a nominee for best butt, bulge or abs, but as a total package, he got the nod to join the field.

zmanbody — Also Best Abs nominee Z-Man took the Best Body title last year, after going down to Rio Garza in 2012. I’ll say it again, Z-Man must have an aging portrait of himself in the attic somewhere, because he’s perpetually gorgeous and in top shape.

Calbody — Cal Bennett’s insurgency into the Best Abs and Best Body categories this year is ballsy and stunnning. He’s appeared in exactly 1 product thus far at BG East, but that was enough to get his liberally inked, stunning physique a nod for Best Bod. See my comments from a couple days ago about his body, honey, and my tongue.

coopbody — Goldenboy Austin Cooper (or Dr. Cooper, depending on the day) is dazzlingly beautiful, proportioned, balanced. That pretty face could possibly distract even his die hard fans from fully appreciating the top contender quality of that body. But probably not.

I haven’t been coy about saying for months Kid Karisma’s phenomenal fitness and picture perfect physique deserve the title of Best Body this year. The total package from top to bottom, front to back, in my opinion. I expect Z-Man to be making the strongest play to be at the head of this pack, possibly with Coop making a dark horse late run. If Cal pulls this out, I’m calling it a major upset and a huge bullseye painted on his finely muscled ass if he ever dares to step foot in the ring with any of his more seasoned and tested contenders.

Now let’s look at some of the match Besties. Selecting a photo to highlight a nominee’s claim to take the title for best-of-match categories is daunting. What single still frame captures a claim to make an entire match sexiest, or best on the mats? With humility, I’ve attempted to present some of what I think are the best claims for the following two categories, starting with Sexiest Match of 2014.

rookssexy — Cumming out of the gate hot and hard are Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander in their tandem debut in Raunchy Rookies 7. I think it says something significant to have a double debut be featured in the sexiest match contenders. RR7 burned it up, and win, lose or draw, I have to believe there are many more Bestie nominations heading both Kayden and Ty’s way.

drakesexy — I admit to being slightly surprised to see X-Fights 38’s Drake Marcos v LJL and not see Drake and Ty’s Babyface Brawl X in this category. Nevertheless, Drake and LJL were two of the sexiest X-fighters at BGE this year, and their 38 fight was fucking mean and nasty. They hated each other start to finish, which makes it just that much sexier to see how prominently sexual domination became the story.

militarysexy — Military Muscle 2 is another surprise entry here, as far as I’m concerned. Not because I didn’t think it was scorchingly sexy, but because it was far less sexually explicit than other matches that weren’t nominated. That said, MM2 demonstrates that a match doesn’t need to include cock-sucking in order to be blindingly sexy, and rookie Zion Brown’s gasping adoration of Kid Karisma is convincing and compelling.

painsexy — Pasion & Punishment 1 was the first time I sat up and took notice of Trey Dixon. His pairing here with Skrapper is nothing short of epic. Their confrontation is spilling over with raw, balls to the walls lust from the start, and the sexual tension makes my hard drive melt (seriously, I had to buy a new computer). I had to go back and verify that these two didn’t actually fuck on camera, because the sexual aggression is so damn explicit.

darksexy — Dark Knights 11 with Steven Ponce and Ray Dalton is clearly the choice for muscle fetish leather daddies and their stubborn boys. I’m regretting that Dark Knights 12 wasn’t the DK entry in this category, but it’s not hard to see why nominators gave Ray and Steven the nod here.

This category is a major struggle for me to settle on. My blogger v wrestler match with Drake was not nominated, and of course, other than my personal photographs of Drake’s post-match humiliation, you would be hard pressed to be able to make an informed vote our direction (though, take my word for it, it was sexy). So just looking at those that were nominated, personally, I’m completely torn between Raunchy Rookies 7, X-Fights 38, and Passion & Punishment 1. I know that there are wrestling fans out there that don’t like Skrapper, so I’m guessing Passion & Punishment may be a long shot, but at the end of the day, that’s where my vote goes. I’m also guessing it will be either Raunchy Rookies or X-Fights 38 that may be where the majority goes this time, which I will totally understand. Dark horse in this field I think is Dark Knights 11. I didn’t see a ton of buzz about it, but if the muscle fetish leather daddies snap the collars on all their boys, they’ll double their vote quickly and, potentially swing this their way.

Finally for today I’m taking a look at the Best Mat Battle nominees. This is another extremely tough slate to choose from, but you don’t pay me to dither. Wait, you don’t pay me at all! Oh well, onward and upward…

cammat — Submissions 9 with Cameron Matthews grappling with LJL has got to be a front runner in this category. Cam and LJL are major league mat tacticians, and that and about 2 gallons of sweat and some smoldering bitterness make Sub 9 insanely aggressive and the stuff that no one other than a contortionist should try.

drakemat — Passion & Punishment’s match with Drake Marcos and Mason Brooks makes a compelling argument. Two big egos enter the mat room, but one of them crawls on his belly out of the mat room having been actually tagged with a permanent marker to remind him what a consummate jobber he is. As much as I love watching Drake suffer, even I was worried at times in this match that the philosopher king Mason was going to literally break him… which makes a strong case for Best Mat Battle.

masonmat — But then the drama ensues in the Academy, as Mason is going up against himself in this category, also getting the nod for his work against Skrapper in Undagear 22. These are two of the fiercest mat boys on the books right now, and neither of them is going to concede to losing while conscious. Then again, there’s that anti-Skrapper faction out there.

damienmat — I was only slightly shocked to see Damien Rush and Joah Bindao’s Undagear 21 bout appear in this category. Shocked because I don’t think of it as cream of the crop mat work, but only slightly because Damien Rush getting schooled by a petite muscleman acrobat is always going to get attention. I loved the back and forth in this match. Lots of suspense and bruised egos.

kidmat — But if you’re jonesin’ for bruised egos, I’m guessing your choice very well may be Undagear 22’s match between Ray Naylor and Kid Karisma. Ray fucking HATES Kid K, and you get the impression he hates himself just a little for being unable to resist stroking Kid K’s luscious muscles (see my arguments for his Best Body claim). These two put the hurt on each other big time, and you know it was a special match when Kid K treats the loser to a free strip show after all is said and done.

jakemat — As long as Jake Jenkins is wrestling, I predict he will have at least one nomination in the Best Mat Battle category. He’s typically the master of the mats, but he bites off more than he can chew in Gazebo Grapplers 16, facing down big, beautiful newbie Carter Alexander. The outcome of this match is in question to the bitter end, and that end has got to be described as a stunning upset, so little wonder this shows up as a Best Mat Battle nominee.

Fuck, this is another hard choice. My vote, for what it’s worth, is going to Passion & Punishment’s Drake Marcos versus Mason Brooks. It was that match, and the 3-way interview I conducted with Mason and Drake that ultimately got the whole ball rolling to eventually find myself shutting Drake up with his trunks stuffed down his throat this past Fall. It’s also sweet drama, and watching Mason pick Drake apart, humiliate him worse and worse, strip him naked and leave his indelible mark clearly ignited a ton of fantasy’s-cum-true in me. I’m thinking the favorites in this category may be Cameron and LJL, though, possibly with Ray and Kid K being the dark horse here able deliver an upset.

If you haven’t finished your ballot yet, here’s what the Bard-approved slate of choices looks like:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion & Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Battle: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos gets owned by Mason Brooks

2014 in the Rear-View Mirror

December 31, 2014January 1, 2015 wrestlebard4 Comments

Facebook has been offering to package a graphic presentation of how great 2014 was for me. FB doesn’t know shit. Despite ending on a bad note, though, it is certainly true that a lot of great things happened in recently past year. Remembering the best helps put the worst in perspective, so here are my top 10 favorite moments of 2014.

10. In May, Gio Benitez posted a desperately anticipated (by me) shirtless pic. Hot newsboys always grab my attention and stick in my memory, and the dubiously philanthropic fad of dumping buckets of icewater on oneself provided some sweet teases of hot newsboy muscles this year, including Gio and David Muir. But no news was quite so newsworthy as beefy sophomore newsboy Gio Benitez releasing a group photo with him right in the middle showing off his bare, beautiful, meaty pecs.

Jose made sure I also saw this sweet tease Gio released for New Year, with Gio’s muscles pumping and bulging as fellow fantasy man Ryan Hughes “trains” him.

9. In March I enjoyed a novel interview with adorable rookie jobber Ty Alexander all about homoerotic wrestling fashion. It was the first fashion-themed interview I’ve done, and Ty was all earnestness and adorability in dishing out fashion advice and sharing copious photos of his personal collection, both with his bodacious bubble butt in and out of them. Ty continues to impress me as a true native of the homoerotic wrestling universe, and I keep warning Drake Marcos to keep an eye out for this ingenue rising from the fresh meat counter to pick off more established young talents as the young wrestling stud on top of the fan-crush pile. Sure, with Ty it’s all about fashion. And wrestling. And, well, Ty. Just what will he get up to in 2015, one wonders…

8. In May, Clint Morgan sat down with me for a compelling and controversial interview. It should come as no surprise that brutal beast Clint pulls no punches, musing on both the dos and don’ts of the homoerotic wrestling world according to Clint. I’m still praying for that rip-and-strip match between Clint and Tyrell Tomsen to be realized in 2015… in my living room.

7. There are a few wrestlers who I have been angling to interview for a while. Perhaps in 2015 I’ll finally nail down some of those nasty cock teases. But a highlight of 2014 was the reward of tenacity and ingenuity to overcome unusual obstacles and have a thoughtful interview with giant killer Jayden Mayne in October. Hollywood handsome and shockingly brutal, wiry Jayden has plan to beef up and knock the legs out from underneath more big bruisers in the coming year. Cannot wait!

6. In May, homoerotic wrestling fanatic and friend of neverland, Jose, launched his sensational, bilingual homoerotic wrestling blog, La Sustancia P. Jose has carved out a delightful corner of all of the musings about the wrestling we love that’s all his own. The charts and lists and unstoppable powers of deduction bring the art of a homoerotic wrestling infatuation firmly into the realm of science. And science never, ever turned me on as hard as when I’m reading La Sustancia P.

5. August saw the fulfillment of a long-dreamed of moment for me, the on camera appearance of Kid Karisma’s naked ass. The answer of how many times must Kid K win the “best butt” year-end award before those glutes show up unobstructed is 2. In Undagear 22, my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler burned up the mat and crushed and demolished lucky, lucky, lucky Ray Naylor brutally. In a moment of generosity, though, Kid K celebrated his victory by peeling off his sweat soaked undagear and strolling slowly off the mat, bare assed and epically beautiful. I’m hoping this story arc swings into 2015 with actual bare assed, full contact wrestling action from Kid Karisma.

4. Some interviews are the result of begging, pleading and stealing on my part. And then some of my favorite interviews absolutely fall into my lap. When Chuck Flying Tiger Collins dropped me a note appreciating this blog in November, I snapped up the opportunity eagerly. Chatting with the Flying Tiger was like sitting down with an old friend, the back and forth flowing easily. Where I’m often battling nerves during interviews, Chuck had me kicking up my feet and coasting delightfully through the past, present and potential future of homoerotic wrestling. And then I nearly fell off my seat when Chuck sent me a couple of photos of his shirtless self today. Damn, damn, damn, I’m aching to see a Flying Tiger comeback in 2015!

3. In February I saddled up for my first three-way interview, sitting down with both Mason Brooks and Drake Marcos. Coming off of their sizzling hot Passion and Punishment match, I was counting my lucky stars to get to deconstruct their phenomenal confrontation from both handsome hunks’ perspectives. Little did I know I’d have a tiger by the tail in trying to steer both cocky studs through the same conversation. And while I was fully expecting Mason and Drake to throw shade each other’s way, I was sincerely shocked to find Drake irked and annoyed at me, despite my every effort to heap praise and adoration on the world class jobber boy. The interview turned into one of my favorite moments of the year for both the hotness I knew would ensue, as well as the heat that took me entirely by surprise.

2. Speaking of unexpected, my October interview with Shane McCall was simply the hottest interview I’ve ever conducted. I’ve been a slack jawed fanboy of Shane’s from the first moment I discovered BG East. So my heart was already a-fluttering from the get-go when I started talking with him about his epic return to the ring in Catch Weight 6, where he had some harsh words (and harsher holds) for cocky young jobber Ty Alexander. Shane’s retrospective on his early days in wrestling, his insights into the spirit and spirituality of homoerotic wrestling, and his candid thoughts about the near future of the business had me hard, but when Shane sucked me into his big, hairy, bear daddy fantasies, I was literally swooning. I had to hydrate often and towel often even more often, and if you’ve read the interview, it should come as little surprise it was a highlight of my year/decade. Shane also sent me New Year’s best wishes with this photo (above) attached, proving once again he can bend my back across his knee and go to town on my abs any day or night he wants!

1. Hands down my favorite moment of the year was meeting Drake Marcos and climbing into the BG East ring to settle a blogger v wrestler score that was brewing all year long. The whole visit was outstanding, and the entire match, including getting crushed hard between Drake’s crazy sexy legs, was thrilling. But if I had to narrow the whole thing down to that one, distinct, pristine moment that rises to the top, the very best of the best was stepping back to admire the jobber trapped in the ropes, then grabbing my phone in one hand and a handful of Drake’s hair in the other and snapping this keepsake.

So, sure it was “a year to remember” for so many reasons, and even this little jaunt down memory lane turns me on with memories that will surely get me hard for years to come. When it comes to outstandingly memorable moments in homoerotic wrestling blogging, I’d go so far as to say that this one is going to be very tough to beat. But I’m holding out hope that 2015 will have even more awesome, outstanding moments in store. Thanks to all of the fine men who were part of this year’s fun, including all of the hunks who let me interview them, all of my fellow bloggers who kept me informed and motivated, and one particular vanquished buck who proved once again that the pen, and my chokehold, are mightier than the jobber.

The Season

December 23, 2014 wrestlebard2 Comments

As the longest night of the year passes, I thought I’d acknowledge that I’ve been relatively MIA around here, particularly when it comes to updating neverland. Just last month we experienced a big loss in the Bard household. I haven’t posted about it because grief is a buzz kill, and I didn’t want any of you to get your buzz killed along with mine. But as the year wraps up, I thought I’d explain my absence as far as saying that the end of this year seriously sucked. In addition to not posting here regularly, I also dropped the ball on at least 2 homoerotic wrestling related projects I committed to. Like I said, grief is a buzzkill, and I was struggling to get into it.

drake20 — Last year, this was on my wish list.

Happily, my buzz is returning. Things left undone in the mean time include not sending my traditional Christmas wish list to Santa’s little elves to deliver goodies to share with you here. You may remember it was precisely that Christmas wish list last year that Drake Marcos filled with some provocative pics and a particular taunt that came back to bite him in the butt this fall. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever have quite such a fantasy wish list filled as climbing into the ring and gloating in victory over a too-big-for-his-britches sexy jobber wasted at my feet. Perhaps I should take a break from making wishes and just appreciate the good fortune last year’s list brought me. Then again, I wouldn’t say no to any choice pics of beautiful wrestling muscles Santa’s little elves send my way.

Honestly, one of the things that’s been highlighted by my recent loss is the amazing community of support that this little blog has generated for me in the past 6 years. As certain as I am to never, ever let Drake live down his stripped and strung up humiliation at the hands of a mere blogger, I’m just as definite about counting the Cheshire Cat among my friends that I can turn to for a word of consolation, or a distraction, or a kick in the ass, whatever the situation requires. Several wrestlers and readers alike that I hear from regularly (not the charming “Hey dude, I’m going to fuck you up, so let’s wrestle” private messengers, but the others) reached out and offered thoughtful and compassionate words of support to me over the past several weeks. I’m a little in awe and humbled to recognize just how much that’s meant to me, and amazed to think that a shared infatuation with the eroticism of wrestling is the common denominator that shaped those personal connections.

chaos2 — Thunder’s Arena’s new Christmas Chaos 2014 release is threatening to get me right back in the mood. Damn, look at sexy as hell young Kris Kringle red-bearded beauty Frey!

For those of you in the middle of holiday celebrations, I add to my late-started wish list that you have a great time, surrounded by love and support and with at least one rip-and-strip wrestling match in store for you with a hardbodied fantasy man of your dreams. For those of you not in the middle of holiday celebrations,well, hey… same for you, but with a bottle of baby oil thrown in for a little extra fun. To those who have been inconvenienced because I’ve dropped the ball lately, my sincere apologies and genuine intention and expectation that I’ll be back at the work that I love the most (and pays me the least) in the coming weeks. And finally, to anyone else in our community that’s finding this time of year particularly fucked up because of recent loss, I hear you. I know what you mean. It’s going to be okay, but not before it keeps sucking some more. So hang in there.

Grasping at Straws

November 28, 2014November 28, 2014 wrestlebard1 Comment

In case you didn’t catch it, my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Drake Marcos, crawled out of the shame spiral he’s been in for the past month in order to try to articulate how, after all that taunting and trash talk, he ended up with his trunks stuffed in his mouth and a certain blogger snapping photographic proof of his humiliation in the ring (not that we didn’t already have copious evidence of Drake’s humiliation in the ring). It’s adorkable. I honestly didn’t realize that my infatuation with Mason Brooks’ nipples was what apparently seeded Drake’s antipathy toward me during our 3-way interview nearly a year ago. Seriously, how could I not be infatuated with Mason’s nipples? And it’s not as if I have some finite supply of infatuation and fandom to ration out. I can marvel at Drake’s magnificent suffering as a sensational jobber and, simultaneously, go dizzy with delight at Mason’s hot pecs and total mastery of an outmatched opponent.

We’ve been left in suspense to hear the end (or at least “part 2”) of Drake’s attempt to rationalize away his blogger beat down. Considering it was almost 11 months between his last post and this one, perhaps we shouldn’t hold our collective breaths. And what, honestly, can a stud say to defend himself when he was photographed entirely defenseless and defeated? The end of “part 1” of Drake’s tap dance around the cold hard facts suggests that, as is so often the case with dissociative disorder, he is coping with his shame by glancing sideways at his split-personalitied alternate self. Whatever you need to do to sleep at night, Drake. Whatever you need to do. As we wait, I’ve collected a few choice moments from Drake’s wrestling history to share as evidence that the handsome hunk sells sublime suffering just about the best of anyone I can think of in the business today. I’d suggest the Cheshire Cat simply own it rather than run from what he does so, so well: suffer. Check out Kayden Keller’s Facebook feed for more piling on, pointing out that nobody agonizes helplessly quite as provocatively as Drake Marcos.

drake11 — Jonny Firestorm makes Drake weep as he drags the jobber up by his roots in Custom Combat.

drake9 — Drake wails as Skrapper nearly rips his head off in Wet & Wild 7.

drake4 — LJL rubs Drake’s face in it in X-Fights 38.

drake13 — Ty Alexander gives Drake the best seat in the house in Babyface Brawl X.

drake12 — Mason Brooks treated Drake to the best seat in the house in Passion & Punishment.

drakeout — But I had the best seat in the house (perched atop the turnbuckle at BG East South) about a month ago.

Potpourri

November 14, 2014 wrestlebard1 Comment

Today I’m tossing together several little odds and ends that all smell so nice. For example, a few weeks ago I was watching Good Morning America and caught this slice of hotness reporting across lines as ABC and Univision are mashing up their news for white people with their new news for Latinos who don’t speak Spanish so well (to be clear, I’m not making fun. I think this makes perfect sense), Fusion.

Pedro Andrade was fully clothed and wearing a sports coat, but holy fuck there was something pristinely erotic and nakedly raw about this hunk’s beautiful brown eyes and those full, luscious lips seductively stretched in a lopsided grin. Thank the homoerotic wrestling gods I live in the age when I can instantly scratch my itch and look up this reporter to see if there are any shirtless shots. Mind you, shirtless pics of mainstream news reporters can often be very rare nuggets of gold that require sifting through google images for days on end (been there. often.). This was, however, not a problem when it comes to ridiculously attractive Pedro.

pedro2 — I believe as unadulterated fact anything this man has to tell me, as long as he’s shirtless.

Apparently his first career was as a model. Or still is. I’m confident that there’s an extensive backstory to how this slice of gold showed up on a national network news team, and I’m fairly certain that someone who reads this blog will fill me in. Whatever “news” is today, it’s populated increasingly by overtly sexy, crotch warming hotties. And I know I speak for many when I say that the rise of the hardbodied Latino news hunk is long overdue and deeply, profoundly arousing. And knowing of my penchant for casting news personalities in homoerotic wrestling fiction, it should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that my mind instantly pictures infinitely fuckable Pedro first going pec to pec against, then tag teaming with, ABC’s resident Latino powerhouse muscle hunk, Gio Benitez. Now that would be a match made in homoerotic wrestling heaven!

pedro3 — Pedro says, “Bring it!” (or however that’s translated into Portuguese).

239fd-gio5 — Gio is fluent in Spanish, but I think wrapping those massive pythons around Pedro’s head should probably speak for itself.

Adding to the sweet aroma of hot wrestling hunks, let me pass along a hot little gem that showed up from one of the sexiest-assed wrestling fairies ever known to man (who shall remain nameless, but not unthanked). Forwarded to me is the link to artist Ben McNutt‘s new installation over at VICE, entitled “Undying Homoeroticism in Wrestling.” The VICE title “Wrestling is Gay” is such flamer bait, but then again, this is art, so begin provoked is almost certainly the point. However, for the likes of you and me, there’s a pace and power to Ben’s juxtaposition of words and images that reaches a hand deep inside my kink-soul and lets the eroticism of wrestling drizzle through his fingers like fine jewels.

Check out the VICE piece as well as the artist’s body of work that appears to have a persistent wrestling them woven through it.

Inexplicably, Drake bristles at being called "a sweet jobber." — Inexplicably, Drake bristles at being called “a sweet jobber.”

Finally to add a little jobber musk to this potpourri, let me quickly respond to a few inquiries I’ve received asking if my account of getting my hands on BG East jobber extraordinaire, Drake Marcos, was a work of fiction or fact. I get it, of course, because I have transparently written wrestling fiction with me as protagonist on the pages of this blog, typically around the New Year each year. And Drake has been entirely silent since sucking on his own sweat soaked trunks at the end of our match. To be clear and forthcoming, particularly in the absence of Drake stepping up and owning how he got owned, let me say unequivocally and declaratively that yes, my ring encounter with Drake Marcos did, indeed happen. My accounting of the highly enjoyable battle was unembellished. And really, after all his bluster and smirks over the past year, do you blame the handsome stud for slinking into a hole for a couple of weeks to nurse his battered ego after a blogger owned him, trussed him up, and left him in a pool of his own copious sweat?

drakestuffit — Yeah, that never gets old.

So suck down the sweet aroma of random homoerotic wrestling thoughts and images and have a provocative, arousing day, my friends.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

November 6, 2014November 6, 2014 wrestlebard9 Comments

My plate was full in October, but I still managed to take a pretty broad sampling of the new homoerotic wrestling releases. With BG East’s catalog 105, the field was already packed with satisfying hotness, but of course Jose documented that there were in fact 87 new releases from at least 12 different producers. Full disclosure, I did not watch all 87 matches. Some of these fine purveyors of wrestling are not in my regular queue. As I’ve mentioned before, my resources (both financial and temporal) are limited. But designating a homoerotic wrestler of the month is not science. It’s thoroughly and unabashedly biased, informed entirely by what turns me on most among the matches that I have the opportunity to enjoy. With that disclaimer made (again), let me turn my attention to crowning my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month for outstandingly provocative October match performance…

… Drake Marcos.

Someone is, at this very moment, complaining that Drake had an unfair advantage because he had the opportunity to demonstrate to me, in person, just how provocative his wrestling work was in October. See my disclaimer above and let it go. While the pleasure I had to encounter Drake in the ring during my BG East – South campus pilgrimage certainly looms large in my thoughts, first and foremost Drake wins this month’s title for his work in X-Fights 38.

drake72 — “Jake falls for Drake’s charm offensive.”

The back cover of the DVD already had me chuckling and aroused. “Jake falls for Drake’s charm offensive,” the caption reads underneath a shot of Drake and his opponent, Lorenzo “Jake” Lowe glistening with sweat and making out in the mat room. Drake’s talents run deep, of course, but I have to agree whole heartedly that one of the most disarming (and dangerous) assets the Cheshire Cat brings to a match is that fucking charm. It’s conveyed in steady eye contact, a subtly seductive tilt to his head, his sharp and savvy wit, and, of course, that nearly constant dimpled grin on his handsome face.

The backstory on X-Fights 38 is eerily familiar. “It’s pretty easy to talk trash when I’m about 900 miles away,” Drake smirks as they stare one another down on the mat. “But now that I’m here, what are you going to do?” It wasn’t deliberate, but that was almost precisely the backstory and dialogue that constituted the wrestling foreplay between me and Drake later in October. Clearly it’s a potent lure that the Cheshire Cat baits his hook with, all handsomeness and disarming charm with full throttle trash talk to stoke a virtual opponent into a sweat-soaked, erotically charged, IRL wrestling battle.

drake70 — Drake grabs the throttle almost instantly scoring the first fall.

LJL, fans know, is unfailingly dangerous. The lightweight has a stunning record of toppling (and absolutely grinding into dust) much bigger muscle boys. However, about 3 minutes into this match, LJL finds his grinning, charming opponent not only countering his expertly executed offense, but abruptly rolling him into a nut-cruching Boston Crab. Drake sits low, really leaning back and making LJL’s lower lumbar creak with agonizing tension. LJL, the master executioner, astonishingly taps out with a note of panic in his voice as Drake absolutely glows with pleasure. Oh, yeah. I know where you’re coming from, LJL.

Soon enough, however, Drake takes a boatload of torture because, after all, this is LJL. Long limbs and an energizer bunny battery do not spare the Cheshire Cat from being worked into a major lather quite quickly. Both of these boys are pouring sweat minutes in, which always increases my erotic engagement. And speaking of erotic engagement, these boys latch their claws on each other’s cocks and balls from start to finish in this bout.

drake73 — Drake relishes the opportunity to document his destruction of LJL by posting this mid-match video online (Karma’s a bitch, eh, Drake?).

Things turn particularly sexy, in my opinion, and for Drake ominously foreshadowing, right around the time when the Cheshire Cat rolls LJL into a rear naked choke, reaches for his mobile phone, and starts taking selfie video of his Cheshire Cat grin next to LJL’s oxygen-deprived face. “Exclusive for drakefuckingmarcos.blogspot.com!” Drake crows. “Here I am with ‘Jake’ Lorenzo Lowe, and I’m making him my bitch! Smile for the camera,” he laughs at his trapped opponent.

drake71 — LJL documents the truism: Payback is a bitch.

Online taunts turning into a mobile-phone documented reckoning at BG East South?! Oh, Drake, it was a very busy month for you, wasn’t it? And similarly to a certain ring match later in the month, Drake soon enough finds his taunts and bluster catching up to him as LJL starts to maintain momentum and work the Cheshire Cat into more and more compromised positions. The blurring of combat and erotic lust is pitched beautifully in this match. The boys use their bodies to dominate and torture and somewhere, almost imperceptibly, their bodies become focused entirely on giving and receiving pleasure. Those big doe eyes of Drake’s suck LJL right in as Jake can’t help but taste those lips. He rides Drake’s dripping torso, peeling those pink trunks off, feeling that body. Drake gives himself over to his opponent’s control, and when LJL is fully engaged, Drake rolls on top of him, lips locked, hands stroking, crotches grinding intently.

And then Drake replaces his lips with the palm of his hand stretched across LJL’s mouth and nose. That sly son of a bitch was, indeed, working his charm offensive all along, luring LJL into a defenseless position. LJL slowly, reluctantly slips into unconsciousness with the Cheshire Cat perched atop him as pleased as can be, returning the favor of peeling of his opponent’s trunks. Where does combat end and carnal lust begin remains the question as both of these delicious boys bring incredibly accomplished “charm offenses” to bear. The question of who will be erotically lulled into a vulnerable enough place to be decisively conquered, with photographic evidence in hand, and finally led from the mat by his cock is uncertain almost to the bitter end.

drake75 — So much trash talk silenced as Drake is forced to suck on LJL’s bicep.

But as with all things, there is a naked, drenched, humiliated end, and if you can run a simple correlation on Drake’s win-loss record, you can guess whose cock is the leash for whom. LJL is handsome as hell as always, devastatingly dangerous and deadly serious. But the Cheshire Cat is just having more fun. His humor and charm propel this story powerfully. Drake’s full throttle passion for homoerotic wrestling is like a wave crashing over and over again upon the mat (and his opponent), and his intensity and intelligence raise this far above what I often expect in a carnally explicit X-fight.

drake76 — October’s Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month: Drake Marcos

And, sure, it doesn’t hurt that I have my own photographic evidence that trash talk from 900 miles away is a lot easier for a certain Cheshire Cat than facing a challenger on the mats. But when it comes to picking which homoerotic wrestler appearing in an October new release entertained, provoked and aroused me most, there’s just no contest. He may be this blogger’s bitch, true, but he’s also without question this blogger’s homoerotic wrestler of the month: Drake “Cheshire Cat” Marcos.

I Need a Hero

November 5, 2014November 5, 2014 wrestlebardLeave a comment

I woke up to a deep and dark funk in light of the election results across the country yesterday. These are dark days, I fear, and I’m desperately in need of a hero to fight off the villains who are robbing us blind. Fortunately, this Halloween seems to have brought out the superheroes from among the ranks of homoerotic wrestlers, and I for one am relieved to have these gorgeous hunks suit up to slap down the bad guys. Because there are so many fucking bad guys. In Congress!

halloween7 — Kayden Keller reveals his secret identity: Super Sexy Superboy

halloween6 — Look at the shoulders on this kid! Villains step back!

halloween3 — I’m I’m not mistaken, Robin’s jobberboy alter-ego very well may be adorable Ty Alexander!

halloween2 — Unmasked, it’s definitely Ty to the rescue.

halloween — It’s Superman vs Batman, the next generation! Can’t we all just get along!?

Maybe a little next incarnation Night Wing can save the day.

Hey, I recognize that not-so-secret lair!

Wait, staring down from above at those lips, checking out those abs, I’m having flashbacks to recently putting Drake Marcos on his back in the ring!

Night Wing rocks. I hope he’s better at conquering the bad guys than Drake is.

halloween5 — Wolverine always turns me on, particularly when it’s a certain homoerotic wrestling heel selling the look.

halloween4 — The size of the villainy today calls for the big guns. Bear daddy Shane McCall, save us!

Bard’s Pilgrim Way – South (Part 2)

November 3, 2014 wrestlebard2 Comments

drakechauffeursouth — The Cheshire Cat really does grin almost all the time!

Drake Marcos extended gracious courtesy and generosity as he hosted my visit to BG East’s south campus recently. Nowhere in sight were the bluster and strutting he demonstrated online for the past year or so. “Bring it, Bard,” he’d snarled during my threesome interview with him and Mason Brooks last February, “your writing won’t save you on the mats. Let’s do this!” But he was all dimpled smiles and earnestness when he treated me to breakfast at a greasy spoon frequented by BG East boys between taping matches. There was nothing but open faced hospitality as he drove me to the BG East arena to let me soak up more secondhand homoerotic wrestling hits. I have to admit I was feeling pretty certain that although young Drake clearly doesn’t like to admit it, he was way too straight-laced, way too considerate, way too self-deprecating to be anything other than a perpetually doomed jobberboy.

southart — The proprietor’s hand was evident everywhere.

southart2 — Now, that’s what I call art!

Kid Leopard himself had shared with me behind the scenes shots of the recently developed arena facilities of BG East, so it was both intensely familiar and deeply provocative to stroll through. The walls are plastered (tastefully) with eclectic and stimulating wrestling art. Pro posters, comic art, a few classic works. There was no mistaking that the same guiding hand that placed such a distinctive stamp on BG East’s Boston area compound had decorated this place. As I experienced during my pilgrimage to BG East north, everywhere I turned was a hot graphic allusion to precisely what turns me on.

loungesouth — Which hot wrestling asses have sat on those couches!?

Drake described for me the way the facility is used during a typical taping session for BG East. There are frequently many wrestlers on site at the same time, but with one match being taped at a time, the lounge area is populated with hot hunks in gear hanging out, shooting the shit, reading, checking texts, whatever. It’s that downtime, I’m guessing, that has much to do with the camaraderie and esprit de corps that so many BG East wrestlers have described for me during my interviews. For a fan like me, of course, I just kept imagining whose gorgeous asses had graced this furniture, and tried to restrain myself from burying my face in the plush cushions.

I was a little shocked to find that the mat room looked exactly like I pictured it. Pretty much every other venue I’ve toured left me with the impression of distorted proportions. The pool over at the bungalow seemed a little smaller than it was in my mind’s eye, for example. BG East’s northern compound mat room outside of Boston was incredibly tight for the illusions created by camera angles and intimate holds. But the mat room in the south campus arena was exactly like I pictured it.

drakemasonsouth — The same mat room where Mason Brooks introduced long-suffering Drake to the screaming edges of passion and punishment. Remember that nipple torture for later…

And, of course, so many arousing images were superimposed on my vision, like Drake getting tagged and bagged by Mason Brooks in Passion and Punishment. It was spotlessly shiny and smelling of diligently applied cleanser, of course, but I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of awe, and stirring, at the gallons of sweat, tears, and cum that have fallen on that mat. Hell, the tears Drake alone has shed there could probably fill a saltwater aquarium!

ringsouth — [Cue choir of angels] The Ring!

The climax of the tour for me was, of course, the ring arena. Regular readers know of my partiality for the pro wrestling ring in my homoerotic wrestling fantasies. The ring itself seemed every inch the size and scope I remembered from so many scenes of erotic domination, but somehow it fills the warehouse that it inhabits a bit more than I’d pictured. The BG East masterminds have maximized the square footage devoted to the ring, making me a little awestruck at the camera angles and perspectives they manage to capture with the spare inches available outside the ring apron. With the Cheshire Cat standing right beside me, I couldn’t help picture Drake’s Drubbing at the hands of Jonny Firestorm in Custom Combat, winner of the 2012 Fan Poll for Best Squash of the Year (of course, it was Drake that got squashed. Again. And again.). So much brutality and destruction! What a hotly suffering jobber!

drakejonnysouth — Drake wept like a soul-crushed jobber babe in Jonny’s countless machinations of humiliation and destruction.

Drake had to interrupt the tour to scrub the ring. It’s apparently a task he’s been assigned by The Boss, to keep the facility spotless. As he scrubbed away like a good jobber, Drake explained that when the facility isn’t being used to tape BG East matches, it’s rented out for private events and personal wrestling rendezvous by locals (or those traveling through).

choreboysouth — Choreboy keeps it clean.

After choreboy was all done, we sat and talked for hours about a ton of shit, most of which I’m expressly prohibited from sharing on the pages of this blog. My scrupulosity is my bane, clearly. The Cheshire Cat would tell me juicy anecdotes from on and off screen BG East moments, and then pause reflectively and add, “of course, you can’t share that on your blog.” Me and my fucking integrity. I got the impression that Drake was happy to download a ton of behind the scenes stunts and quirks, confiding what mat match created such a racket that the boys waiting their turn in the lounge found themselves laughing so uncontrollably that they had to flee the building for fear of blowing the taping. “But, of course, you can’t share that on your blog.” I was cataloging juicy gossip about the good, the bad, and the downright prickish among BG East wrestlers and hopefuls. “But, of course, you can’t share that on your blog.” I heard Drake’s personal impressions of dozens of the dozens more wrestlers who he’s met, worked with, and tried to avoid. “But, of course, you can’t share that on your blog.”
It began to dawn on me after, quite literally, hours of hearing homoerotic wrestling buzz off the record that the rising pairing of frustration and arousal that was making my crotch ache may not have been all that unintended by the Cheshire Cat. I began to suspect that, knowing of my commitment to confidentiality, the tease of so many stories that I was not allowed to share may very well have been a strategy from the dimpled stud sitting across from me, stretching out his long, sexy legs, working me into a lather and then swearing me to secrecy. What had appeared as an overabundance of generosity and frankness… wait, was I getting played!?

drakesouthcouch — “So, all that talk about wrestling. Are we really going to do it, or was that just talk?”

We hadn’t talked about the gauntlet Drake had laid down so many months ago at all so far this entire time, until suddenly he stopped dishing and smirked at me. “So, all that talk about wrestling. Are we really going to do it, or was that just talk?” Wait, was all this just foreplay, astonishingly spot-on foreplay aimed at stoking the vanity and arousal of a particular wrestling blogger known for loving the behind-the-camera dish, and then leaving me erotically frustrated, irked even, in order to lure me into the ring?

Uh, yeah. We’re going to wrestle!

Bard’s Pilgrim Way – South (Part 1)

November 2, 2014November 2, 2014 wrestlebard4 Comments

drakefirst — My first glimpse of Drake Marcos was him sandwiched between Blaine Janus and Red Baron in a Kid Karisma photo.

It all started so swimmingly, when I first laid eyes on young Drake Marcos, prior to his on camera debut for BG East. He appeared in a mix of photos from Kid Karisma’s pics from a weekend of wrestling for BG East. I called out the then-unknown handsome stud; Drake reached out; I hit him up for an interview instantly; he repeatedly chided me during the interview for being too complimentary, too flattering, which was just not the case because I think the stud is devastatingly handsome. But somewhere, something went awry. Oh, let’s be honest, there was a very particular point at which Drake turned chilly toward me. It was when I was enjoying a threesome interview with both Drake and Mason Brooks, during which I commented that he has a fan following as a “sweet jobber.”

drakesouthchristmas — Drake promised there was a special “present” just for me under his tree.

Of course, I thought I was being deferential, complimentary, even, when I asked young Drake about being a rising fan favorite jobber at BG East. Clearly, that’s not the way my question was received, however, because the Cheshire Cat’s irrepressible smile disappeared in an instant and the earnest grappler bristled. His string of early career squashes aside, Drake promised that he was honing his craft and improving every day and every match, and I should be prepared to bank on the promissory note that he would cash in the day he scored his first, decisive match victory. Then, of course, Drake made another promise last Christmas, apparently still bristling (though with that dimpled grin back on his handsome face), when he told me he had “a present” under his tree particularly for me to open.

In the subsequent months, more words were exchanged. A rookie no longer, Drake continued to issue the vaguely threatening invitation to come on down and see the “present” he was dying to deliver to me as, apparently, his chief blogger and critic. Critic!? Me?! I’ve been fawning over his Fugelsang-esque hot looks from before I ever knew his name or saw him in square cuts. However, no amount of deference or flattery could sway young Drake’s intent on unwrapping for me some of what he perceives to be retribution for my flagrant audacity in lauding his jobber cred.

Honestly, I’m not sure the young stud quite knew what to say when I pointed out a while back that I would be in the vicinity of BG East’s south campus around the same time he would this fall. The jobber stuttered more than a little, but caught in a web of his own making, Drake eventually agreed that the time had come to set aside childish taunts and schoolyard threats and sort out just what it was he felt obliged to “deliver” with a real, live, hot blooded homoerotic wrestling blogger standing in front of him.

drakesouth — Uh-oh, Drake. Online taunts and threats won’t help you now.

My recent rendezvous with Drake Marcos marked what feels like my second pilgrimage to the holy sites of homoerotic wrestling. My first pilgrimage I documented about 3 years ago, when I had an opportunity to spend time in the Boston area and even scored myself an invitation to visit the Boss himself where so much magic has happened and continues to happen. Not nearly so perversely hotheaded or constitutionally delicate as his online persona, this pilgrimage to BG East’s Florida campus was hosted by a genuinely gracious Drake Marcos who devoted a ton of time and attention to showing me the holy sites while other BG East regulars all happened to be out of town.

south — How much hotness has set that pool boiling!?

Prior to opening their newest wrestling facilities in the area, many BG East Florida matches were filmed at a particularly picturesque, canal-side bungalow with a screened in pool and carefully kept gardens. The grounds themselves pulse with the echoes of so many beautiful BG East boys posing dockside.

south2 — Echoes of hot hunks sunning on the dock and wrestling in the backyard were everywhere.

I had a momentary impulse to lick the very palm tree that vicious Bobby Horton momentarily tied Mitch Colby to in Backyard Brawls 5, bashing the fitness model fantasyman like a tormented St. Sebastian, before Mitch turned that shit right back around and threw Bobby to the grass, flexing his hot, muscled, tanned body in the young hunk’s face.

mitchsouthpalm — Mitch Colby and Bobby Horton made the most of the landscape.

south4 — So much hot BG East wrestling and domination have occurred here!

kvsouthpool — Kid Vicious rocks Lobolito in the pool

We know the matches that have taken place in that pool and poolside, including this summer’s Wet & Wild 7 tourney which earned fiercely hot Trey Dixon July’s homoerotic wrestler of the month title here at neverland. Lobolito got the full-on Kid Vicious bash-rinse-repeat cycle in Wet & Wild 4, tortured with such an exquisite intensity in those same waters that I swear I could almost hear the screams of pain still echoing off the pool deck (seriously, has KV ever looked hotter than muscled up and dripping wet in that match!?).

So many sizzling matches have taken place on wrestling mats set up poolside, such as Kid Karisma dragging Christian Taylor’s lovely, long body in, then out of the pool in Wet & Wild 5, working Abercrombie-boy Christian over until both studs had to retire indoors for Kid K to savor the spoils of victory in air conditioning. I’ve spent so many hours watching footage from that screened in pool that it felt like I was cozying up in profoundly familiar surroundings.

dereksouthsunroom — I stood right here where Mitch & Derek tore each other up!

And speaking of those indoors, I also got a long, lingering look at the sunroom, the site of a dizzyingly hot catalog of matches that are never far from the top of my cue. Right here’s where Mitch Colby and Derek da Silva, one of the hottest combinations in history, absolutely crushed one another’s balls until both were writhing in pools of sweat and ecstasy in Crotch Crushers 1. Here’s where Mitch also confronted the only wrestler to compete with him as the longest running title holder of my favorite homoerotic wrestler title, Rusty Stevens, leaving me apoplectic for weeks afterward with the sheer hotness of the score settling in Breaking Point. BG East fans will be unsurprised to hear me say that the sunroom is tight quarters. Most every sunroom match I’ve seen has involved catching inadvertent glimpses of the film crew reflected in the wall of mirrors on one end. There’s an architectural intimacy that I think explains why just about any pairing of hardbodied hunks there has an extra hit of sexual tension.
Drake was ridiculously charming, solicitous even as we toured the place. I was beginning to think the young buck’s bluster and ballyhoo online was thinly veiling a genuinely sweethearted gentleman. He was kind and attentive, anticipating my questions and interests, playing a gracious host and placing my need to reverentially soak in the setting of so many homoerotic wrestling fantasies deliberately and lingeringly at the forefront of his priorities. In other words, it wasn’t long before I was convinced all over again that young Drake Marcos was, indeed, a dyed-in-the-wool, hardwired, cradle-to-grave jobber, through and through. However, when the tour continued on to the newest BG East facilities not far away, I started to suspect that there may, indeed, be more to this adorably dimpled Cheshire Cat.

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