Lost Time

Thanks for those checking in on me after not posting for a couple of weeks.  Exciting times in the Bard household these days, including an imminent relocation of chez Bard. I’m certain there will be more disruptions in my posting schedule over the next few months as I happily move to greener pastures, but in the mean time, let me make up for lost time and applaud the winners of the 2015 BG East Besties.

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Kip Sorell – Best Abs of 2015

In the individual wrestler categories featured winners who were certainly odds on favorites, as well as what I consider a couple of upset surprises.  First, as for surprises, I think Jake Jenkins’ successful defense of his title as Top Babyface is a surprise mostly because JJ simply wasn’t prominently featured in 2015.  Not that I haven’t fucking adored JJ from day 1, but honestly I figured more prolific wrestlers would have been more on the mind of voters.  But JJ proves once again not to underestimate his petite, acrobatic, sensationally hot body or beautiful face.  And Kip Sorell stole Best Abs from Z-Man!? Holy fuck, that blows my mind.  I’d dip all 5 nominees in chocolate sauce and lick them clean, mind you, but Kip’s relatively low 2015 profile paired with Z-Man’s ferocious fan base has to make this a major upset.

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Chace LaChance – Best Body of 2015

Not so surprising are tried and true chart toppers like Best Butt award winner once again, Kid Karisma.  It’s hard to argue with perfection, although Ty Alexander pulled out a runner up for the category, and he’s sworn on FB to claim the title in 2016. Also not surprising me at all is Pete Sharp slapping down the competition for Best Bulge with his his monster package. I think that anaconda could be a gimme anytime Pete’s in the mix.  Best Body went to Chace LaChance, which I think is entirely understandable, though I’m glad to see Kid K pulled into 2nd place.

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Biff Farrell – Best Debut of 2015(Start lobbying now for a “Best Legs” category next year, and a Monster Quad Match between Biff and Logan Vaughn, please!)

Top Heel for 2015 was Guido Genatto, which is hard to argue with, despite my selecting Joe Mazetti for my vote. Guido’s multiple, overwhelming heel performances in 2015 would be tough to beat by anyone at any time. Top Jobber went to fan favorite Ty Alexander, who was my pick and, I think, a shoe-in for his multiple matches jobbing like the cream of the crop. Debut of the year was a tough call, but I’m pleased that my pick, Biff Farrell, slapped Drake’s pick, Chet Chastain, down like a bitch to claim the title. I still say with a debut year like his, Biff could own this industry in a couple of years if he wanted it.

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Guido Genatto and Chet Chastain dug deep to pull out the victory for Best Overall Match of 2015

For the collaborative titles (at least, those requiring more than one wrestler to qualify), there were again a few surprises, at least to me.  The Submissions 10 match featuring Cameron Matthews and Zach Reno came out of nowhere to take the trophy, as far as I’m concerned. I’m seriously shocked Jonny & Stone didn’t get the nod from submission fans. I’m also surprised and a little perplexed that the winner of Best Match Overall for 2015 was Guido and Chet’s Fan Fantasy 3 bout, despite that same match only coming in second place for Best Ring Match.  If one were to assume that voters were consistent in their voting, I think that would have to mean that a good portion of those who voted for Blaine and Cameron’s Barefoot Babyface match as Top Ring match felt that whatever their top mat match pick was was better overall.  Still, I find it intriguing that Best Overall Match was not the best match in its category.

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Drake made a big push in our discussion about the nominees for Blaine and Cameron’s Barefoot Babyface match, and I’m not surprised it snagged the Best Ring Match title. Hot, shocking, sensationally sexy stuff. Similarly, I’m unsurprised that Ring Releases 2 pulled out the victory for Sexiest Match, even though my vote went for X-Fights 39 (which still pulled a respectable second place). I’m a little thrilled to see Kid Karisma and Marco Carlow’s Undagear 23 match do so well, winning Best Squash and coming in 2nd for Best Mat Battle.  My vote still went for Lane Hartley and Richie Douglas brutally once sided babyface mauling for Best Squash, but Kid K and Marco definitely deserved some lauds and praises for that match. The Hottest Liplock of 2015 appeared in Ring Releases 2, meaning it was Kayden Keller’s face sucking on Ty Alexander that turns fans on most last year. That Skrapper and Christian Taylor came in second place surprises me a little, but Christian certainly deserves the reigning title as resident Kisser at BG East these days, so a second place finish for him makes sense

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Kid Karisma & Marco Carlow’s Undagear 23 – Best Squash of 2015

Congratulations to all the nominees and especially the winners. It was a rich, deep bench to call up in 2015.  The extramural, cross production competition seems to me to be heating up these days (note Cameron throwing shade on FB about the Besties on his way to promoting his own productions these days). But when it comes to full on, unapologetically gay-oriented wrestling with sensationally sexy action and beautiful bodies abounding, BG East remained the most prolific, diverse, and entertaining, by my estimation. I keep waiting for Can-Am to really reinvest in buying back their stake of the explicitly gay wrestling scene (though they definitely maintain a major claim on the wrestling-foreplay porn narrative), and/or some new production to seriously compete with BG East for the unapologetic eye to gay pro wrestling fans. But as of the close of 2015, I think that market is unquestionably dominated by BG East. It was definitely a great year for a great company and a fantastic battalion of beautiful wrestlers.

And the Nominees Are…

Time’s a wasting, so if anyone is going to still benefit from seeing side by side (or top to bottom) comparisons of the nominees for BG East Bestie awards before polls close at midnight tomorrow night, I’d better get on it.

The Best Body category is an enigmatic one for me. Taking in the whole of a wrestler’s physique speaks to different tastes and attention. How the academy narrowed the field down to these six specimens, I can’t imagine, but it’s a very, very hot field to choose from.

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Kid Karisma (my pic)
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Van Skyler
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Z-Man (2013 Best Body Winner)
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Lon Dumont
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Chace LaChance
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Logan Vaughn (those legs!!!)

Competition for Best Bulge is probably equally as subjective, but when we zoom in on the crotch, I have to think that size matters. In this case, these are the boys with the heft and volume to get nominations from the academy.

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Pete Sharp (defending Best Bulge 2014 winner)
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Kayden Keller
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Jobe Zander
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Jonny Firestorm
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Gold Shaft

Nominees for Top Heel somehow seems like one of the clearest categories in the poll. The pro wrestling heel is an iconic role, and at BG East, it’s inhabited by some of the hottest, most merciless and vicious bad asses on the planet. Defending Top Heel of 2014, Kid Karisma, didn’t even make the cut this year, but this year’s field is incredibly competitive.

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Joe Mazetti (my pick)
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Guido Genatto
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Flash LaCash (Drake’s pick)
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Lane Hartley
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Jonny Firestorm
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Kayden Keller

So who do you like, and who do you think got snubbed by the academy this year? Remember to vote by midnight tomorrow night, Friday, January 22.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Year: Reader’s Choice

278 of you voted for which of my homoerotic wrestlers of the month you’d pick to be homoerotic wrestler of the year for 2015. The results are definitive and indicative, I think, so let’s break it down.

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Ty Alexander

With 28% of the vote, Ty Alexander wins the plurality as the reader’s choice homoerotic wrestler of the year. Ty worked for it. Ty always works for it. Both in the ring and in the world of social media, the Trophy Boy is a perfect study in having a plan and executing it to perfection. Fans love his bubble butt, ever tightening, taut twink bod, and his reckless enthusiasm for running face first into one steam roller after another. Ty has such a following because homoerotic wrestling fans love a full throttle, unapologetically erotic wrestling jobber.  I suspect that July’s homoerotic wrestler of the month also owns this poll in part due to his ability to mobilize his social media following, which I think is indicative of the next level of the homoerotic wrestling business. Fans respond not only to Ty’s sensational sell in the ring, to his succulent body, to his endless ambition, but also to his commitment to exist, on a day to day basis, in our Twitter and FB feeds, to weave the fantasy of a hot, horny, humpable young stud into the fabric of our day to day lives. As I said back when I anointed him HWOTM in July, I think there’s a whole market waiting to get tapped by serious franchise players like Ty loving it, living it, and making us continue to peek behind the scenes of a wrestling shoot to fantasize in all sorts of new ways about the sexy studs living their wrestling dreams.

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Ty took a beating in Ring Releases 2.
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Mad Mykel brought him to his knees in Ring Releases 3.
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Mason Brooks ripped Ty apart in Florida Fights 5.

Making a major play in the polls for second place with over 21% of the vote was 2015 rookie Sensation (with a capital S!), big, bulging, beautiful, buff, blond, blue-eyed, bombshell beefcake Biff Farrell.

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Biff Farrell

I have to think Biff has got to make a very strong showing for this year’s rookie of the year in BG East’s Besties. He certainly grabbed my attention, and I know captured the homoerotic wrestling imaginations of a whole lot of us with incredibly impressive appearances in an amazing 4 new releases in his rookie year. It’s a rare newbie who makes such a splash at BG East to earn his way into 4 releases, 3 of which are stand alone single matches, 1 of which he’s even the title character for!  Fans love his look, his magnificent muscles, his obvious enthusiasm for professional wrestling, and his sensational, muscled ass (I know, that’s part of his magnificent muscles, but it deserves it’s own mention). I’ve also been on the big Biff bandwagon for the duration because I’m growing more and more infatuated with the character he’s selling better and better with each match. Fans love a big, muscled babyface rookie who can, from the start, take it every ounce as successfully as he dishes it out. I believe the sky’s the limit with my December homoerotic wrestler of the month, and I’m just saying a prayer to the homoerotic wrestling gods that he hasn’t peaked too soon, because I hope to see a lot more of him in 2016.

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Lon Dumont gives fans what they want, forcing rookie Biff to flex.
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Biff learns what BGE heels do with pretty faces in Rookie Wreckers 2: Biff’s Beating.
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Biff’s first babyface victory, wrecking his own rookie in Ripped Rookies 2: Backyard Battle
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Biff finished very strong, determined to cut short Joe Mazetti’s epic Comeback.

Coming in third in the voting with 13%, sophomore heel rising Kayden Keller grabbed hold of hearts and loyalties (not to mention balls) with a vengeance in 2015.

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Kayden Keller

Kayden only appeared in 2 releases for BG East this year (though it seems like more, doesn’t it?  honestly?).  But that was enough to keep his fans gagging for more. If his showing in the polls demonstrates anything, I think it shows us that homoerotic wrestling fans always, always have a place in their fondest fantasies for a sensational, sadistic, explicitly erotic wrestling heel. He abundantly earned his HWOTM title for October by selling one of the best surprises in homoerotic wrestling for 2015, getting sleepered out cold by the shockingly eager erotic debut of little, lithe, lovely Leo Tomasi. I know there are some fans who saw that as a major blow to Kayden’s obvious play to climb the ranks of BG East’s resident, reigning heels, but I found the unexpected drama to be probably the most compelling wrestling narrative of the year. And in case you haven’t seen the match, suffice it to say that despite Leo’s shocking moment in the sun (with Kayden’s face shoved where the sun don’t shine), the 6’2″ powerhouse heel doubles down on the total soul and body crushing domination before all is said and done. It takes a whole lot of man to heel, match after match, and even more of one to get completely owned and humiliated by a jobber and STILL come out with his heel cred shiny. Kayden Keller is every ounce that man.

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Kayden is a heel who can multitask in Ring Releases 2: Triple Release
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Kayden showed us a whole new side in Ring Releases 3.

Congratulations to all the winners this year, and thank you all for a sensationally sexy year in homoerotic wrestling!

Our Man Inside

I have no way of predicting when I’m going to receive the proverbial brown paper package, sans return address, with a new batch of smuggled pics of the inner sanctum of BG East from the anonymous benefactor I’ve dubbed, simply, Our Man Inside (OMI).  This latest batch was actually signed “OMI,” which makes me chuckle… and worry a bit that the fans’ spy may be getting cocky. Speaking of dangerously cocky, did I mention how fervently Drake Marcos denied being OMI when I visited him at BG East’s South Campus last fall? Regular readers may remember that Drake was one of the first to smuggle pics to me from behind the scenes at a BG East taping.  However, he also got caught, and rumor is, got his ass handed to him long and hard for dabbling in corporate espionage. So Drake brought up the topic all on his own last fall, pointedly clarifying that he isn’t the one who has continued to sneak peeks to me from behind the curtain at BG East. There was a slight tone of desperateness about his unsolicited denials that makes me think whoever OMI is (and I’m not saying that it definitely ISN’T the Cheshire Cat), I hope he continues to fly under the radar, because it sure seemed to me like hottie Drake was reliving some personal terror as he adamantly denied continuing his smuggling operation.

Whoever OMI is, I’d make him my honorary favorite homoerotic wrestler insider, if I could post of picture of him and give credit where it’s due.  Of course, that would defeat the purpose.  And I don’t want that purpose defeated, or OMI found out, because once again he slipped out what appear to be some cutting room floor shots from behind the scenes of BG East homoerotic wrestling tapings. There’s a brand new mountain of blond muscle who looks like he belongs in some Beach Blanket Beefcake flick from the the 60’s.  Most of these appear to be from recent releases, so hopefully we’ll see Blond Bombshell Biff in action soon. And thank heavens for more candid, between takes reveals of fantasy studs like Lon Dumont, Jake Jenkins, Kayden Keller, and Jonny Firestorm. Seeing these gorgeous wrestlers without their game faces on makes me that much more infatuated with watching them suit up, slip into the ring, and go to town.

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Hello, Rookie! I’m breathless with the anticipation of being formally introduced to this new mountain of beautiful muscle. In the mean time, I’m calling him “Biff” and fantasizing about seeing him kick sand in some lucky twink’s face.
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This looks like a way back shot of perpetual infatuation of mine, Lon Dumont, and his first BG East tag team partner, Chace LaChance from several years ago. Lon has put on more muscle and grown a lot more hair since then, and Chace has bulked up about twice this size!
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Speaking of size, incredibly hot beefcake rookie Sam Sellers caught a lot of fans’ attention, including mine, in his recent debut in Mat Scraps 3. Seeing him with specs (and very little else) makes this muscleman about 20 times sexier than he already was, as far as I’m concerned.
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I love this shot of Sam and Ben Monaco with the video cameras off. Ben looks like it’s just occurred to him that he may have bitten off more than he can chew. Sam’s wide, open smile is so fucking handsome!
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So perhaps OMI is a little infatuated with rookie beefcake Sam as well. Not hard to miss why!
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Jake Jenkins peels his hot, athletic body off the floor in what looks like a takeout from his recent Barefoot Babyfaces ring match. I never, ever get tired of seeing this Von Erich-esque stud!
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By all accounts, Jonny Firestorm is the prankster of the BG East boys. This appears to be the aftermath of a dozing jobber Skip Vance being on the receiving end of Jonny’s humiliating humor.
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Kayden Kellar has come on like a house on fire in the past 16 months dialing up the dastardly and roaringly erotic dial as a rising heel. All of that squeezed into a windsor knot, and you might never guess what a vicious sexual sadist he is!
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This appears to be a shot of The Boss himself getting an up close and personal view of Jake Ryder and Z-Man’s sizzling hot bodies working each other over hard in Mat Scraps 3. What a fucking dream job!

Their Best Side

I’ve been obsessing lately on magnificently muscled asses. You know the kind I’m talking about.  The sort that takes more than two, big, eager hands to grab hold of entirely. That type that contracts into rock hard slabs of squared off granite that could grab hold with a grip like a vice. Of course, the finest specimens belong on the backside of handsome, hunky, athletic wrestlers. Sampling the new homoerotic wrestling releases is feeding my obsession nicely.

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BG East Best Butt winner for 2014, Cameron Matthews shows that awesome ass of his as he prepares for Barefoot Babyfaces 1.
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Kid Karisma shows off why the title of BG East’s Best Butt is always in contention with his ass around. Perfect muscle sculpture as he poses in preparation for Gazebo Grapplers 17.
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Muscleman Chace LaChance is sculpted beautifully from every angle, particularly from behind, as he prepares for his most explosive match yet, Ring Releases 2.
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In Fan Fantasy 2, Jonny Firestorm gives this fan exactly what I crave: Chris Bruce’s magnificent, meaty, wedgied ass.
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Eye of the Cyclone’s serial “Hard as Ice” includes three of my fondest things: a naked, muscle shower scene, beautiful, glistening glutes, and the fantasy man superhero SubZero.
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Jake Jenkins hot, firm ass is perfectly suited to his acrobatic antics, and that backside may have never looked sweeter than pumped and primed for his Barefoot Babyface battle with Morgan Cruise.
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And speaking of the Mastodon, his beautiful, beefy butt is a totally different sort, but no less obsession-worthy.
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Supersized glutes (and bulges) feature prominently in Eye of the Cyclone’s “Who Do You Voodoo?” serial, with superhero partners Flex and HALO forced like puppets on a string to grope and grind one another.
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Primally hot Zach Reno’s lovely ass is simply stunning as he prepares to get trounced by Kid Karisma in Gazebo Grapplers 17.
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Hello, Sam Sellers, big, beefy, bulging rookie from BG East’s Mat Scraps 3. Nice ass, rook!
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In “Idle Hands,” villainous minions of bodiless hands go for the gold in their assault on Eye of the Cyclone’s Archangel. That’s a heavenly, hotly muscled ass!  

And the nominees are…

The link the the Best of BG East voting disappeared from the BG East homepage, but I swear I saw that you had until Sunday at midnight to cast your ballots.  Hopefully, if you’re still undecided, you still have time.  And hopefully I can offer this voter’s guide and my personal take on the field in a few more categories.  Let’s start today taking a look at the hotly contested and highly controversial Best Body nominees. What makes for “Best Body” has got to be even more subjective than what we evaluate as best body part by body part. Me, I like all sorts of bodies, but when I think “best” I think superior fitness, muscle mass, proportion, symmetry, balance, and that most subjective of them all, beauty.  Here are the contenders for Best Body at BG East in 2014.

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I’ve been explicitly campaigning for months for Kid Karisma to take the title this year, because, fuck, look! All those qualifiers I mention above as my personal criteria are summed up right here in my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler. He’s also making a play for a Best Butt 3-peat, and I’m slightly aghast that he didn’t get a nomination for Best Abs.
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For those who like them brawnier, burlier, hairier and with tweezed eyebrows, Chace LaChance is certain to make a strong showing. Interestingly he’s not a nominee for best butt, bulge or abs, but as a total package, he got the nod to join the field.
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Also Best Abs nominee Z-Man took the Best Body title last year, after going down to Rio Garza in 2012. I’ll say it again, Z-Man must have an aging portrait of himself in the attic somewhere, because he’s perpetually gorgeous and in top shape.
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Cal Bennett’s insurgency into the Best Abs and Best Body categories this year is ballsy and stunnning. He’s appeared in exactly 1 product thus far at BG East, but that was enough to get his liberally inked, stunning physique a nod for Best Bod. See my comments from a couple days ago about his body, honey, and my tongue.
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Goldenboy Austin Cooper (or Dr. Cooper, depending on the day) is dazzlingly beautiful, proportioned, balanced. That pretty face could possibly distract even his die hard fans from fully appreciating the top contender quality of that body. But probably not.

I haven’t been coy about saying for months Kid Karisma’s phenomenal fitness and picture perfect physique deserve the title of Best Body this year. The total package from top to bottom, front to back, in my opinion. I expect Z-Man to be making the strongest play to be at the head of this pack, possibly with Coop making a dark horse late run. If Cal pulls this out, I’m calling it a major upset and a huge bullseye painted on his finely muscled ass if he ever dares to step foot in the ring with any of his more seasoned and tested contenders.

Now let’s look at some of the match Besties. Selecting a photo to highlight a nominee’s claim to take the title for best-of-match categories is daunting.  What single still frame captures a claim to make an entire match sexiest, or best on the mats? With humility, I’ve attempted to present some of what I think are the best claims for the following two categories, starting with Sexiest Match of 2014.

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Cumming out of the gate hot and hard are Kayden Keller and Ty Alexander in their tandem debut in Raunchy Rookies 7. I think it says something significant to have a double debut be featured in the sexiest match contenders. RR7 burned it up, and win, lose or draw, I have to believe there are many more Bestie nominations heading both Kayden and Ty’s way.
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I admit to being slightly surprised to see X-Fights 38’s Drake Marcos v LJL and not see Drake and Ty’s Babyface Brawl X in this category. Nevertheless, Drake and LJL were two of the sexiest X-fighters at BGE this year, and their 38 fight was fucking mean and nasty. They hated each other start to finish, which makes it just that much sexier to see how prominently sexual domination became the story.
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Military Muscle 2 is another surprise entry here, as far as I’m concerned. Not because I didn’t think it was scorchingly sexy, but because it was far less sexually explicit than other matches that weren’t nominated. That said, MM2 demonstrates that a match doesn’t need to include cock-sucking in order to be blindingly sexy, and rookie Zion Brown’s gasping adoration of Kid Karisma is convincing and compelling.
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Pasion & Punishment 1 was the first time I sat up and took notice of Trey Dixon. His pairing here with Skrapper is nothing short of epic. Their confrontation is spilling over with raw, balls to the walls lust from the start, and the sexual tension makes my hard drive melt (seriously, I had to buy a new computer). I had to go back and verify that these two didn’t actually fuck on camera, because the sexual aggression is so damn explicit.
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Dark Knights 11 with Steven Ponce and Ray Dalton is clearly the choice for muscle fetish leather daddies and their stubborn boys. I’m regretting that Dark Knights 12 wasn’t the DK entry in this category, but it’s not hard to see why nominators gave Ray and Steven the nod here.

This category is a major struggle for me to settle on. My blogger v wrestler match with Drake was not nominated, and of course, other than my personal photographs of Drake’s post-match humiliation, you would be hard pressed to be able to make an informed vote our direction (though, take my word for it, it was sexy).  So just looking at those that were nominated, personally, I’m completely torn between Raunchy Rookies 7, X-Fights 38, and Passion & Punishment 1. I know that there are wrestling fans out there that don’t like Skrapper, so I’m guessing Passion & Punishment may be a long shot, but at the end of the day, that’s where my vote goes. I’m also guessing it will be either Raunchy Rookies or X-Fights 38 that may be where the majority goes this time, which I will totally understand. Dark horse in this field I think is Dark Knights 11. I didn’t see a ton of buzz about it, but if the muscle fetish leather daddies snap the collars on all their boys, they’ll double their vote quickly and, potentially swing this their way.

Finally for today I’m taking a look at the Best Mat Battle nominees. This is another extremely tough slate to choose from, but you don’t pay me to dither.  Wait, you don’t pay me at all!  Oh well, onward and upward…

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Submissions 9 with Cameron Matthews grappling with LJL has got to be a front runner in this category. Cam and LJL are major league mat tacticians, and that and about 2 gallons of sweat and some smoldering bitterness make Sub 9 insanely aggressive and the stuff that no one other than a contortionist should try.
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Passion & Punishment’s match with Drake Marcos and Mason Brooks makes a compelling argument. Two big egos enter the mat room, but one of them crawls on his belly out of the mat room having been actually tagged with a permanent marker to remind him what a consummate jobber he is. As much as I love watching Drake suffer, even I was worried at times in this match that the philosopher king Mason was going to literally break him… which makes a strong case for Best Mat Battle.
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But then the drama ensues in the Academy, as Mason is going up against himself in this category, also getting the nod for his work against Skrapper in Undagear 22. These are two of the fiercest mat boys on the books right now, and neither of them is going to concede to losing while conscious. Then again, there’s that anti-Skrapper faction out there.
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I was only slightly shocked to see Damien Rush and Joah Bindao’s Undagear 21 bout appear in this category. Shocked because I don’t think of it as cream of the crop mat work, but only slightly because Damien Rush getting schooled by a petite muscleman acrobat is always going to get attention. I loved the back and forth in this match. Lots of suspense and bruised egos.
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But if you’re jonesin’ for bruised egos, I’m guessing your choice very well may be Undagear 22’s match between Ray Naylor and Kid Karisma. Ray fucking HATES Kid K, and you get the impression he hates himself just a little for being unable to resist stroking Kid K’s luscious muscles (see my arguments for his Best Body claim). These two put the hurt on each other big time, and you know it was a special match when Kid K treats the loser to a free strip show after all is said and done.
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As long as Jake Jenkins is wrestling, I predict he will have at least one nomination in the Best Mat Battle category. He’s typically the master of the mats, but he bites off more than he can chew in Gazebo Grapplers 16, facing down big, beautiful newbie Carter Alexander. The outcome of this match is in question to the bitter end, and that end has got to be described as a stunning upset, so little wonder this shows up as a Best Mat Battle nominee.

Fuck, this is another hard choice.  My vote, for what it’s worth, is going to Passion & Punishment’s Drake Marcos versus Mason Brooks. It was that match, and the 3-way interview I conducted with Mason and Drake that ultimately got the whole ball rolling to eventually find myself shutting Drake up with his trunks stuffed down his throat this past Fall. It’s also sweet drama, and watching Mason pick Drake apart, humiliate him worse and worse, strip him naked and leave his indelible mark clearly ignited a ton of fantasy’s-cum-true in me. I’m thinking the favorites in this category may be Cameron and LJL, though, possibly with Ray and Kid K being the dark horse here able deliver an upset.

If you haven’t finished your ballot yet, here’s what the Bard-approved slate of choices looks like:

Best Abs: Lon Dumont

Best Bulge: Pete Sharp

Best Butt: Kid Karisma

Best Body: Kid Karisma

Sexiest Match: Passion &  Punishment 1 – Trey Dixon v Skrapper

Best Mat Battle: Passion & Punishment 1 – Drake Marcos gets owned by Mason Brooks

Friday Fashion

I often wonder if Friday Fashion voting is mostly about the wrestlers or the fashions. So last week’s polls pitting the same wrestlers against one another in multiple fashions seemed like it might possibly uncover non-fashion related biases (for example, if everyone voted a party line ballot for every gear choice). My faith in democracy is restored now that I see each of the vote counts was different. There was a decisive victor overall, but neither muscle hunk won all the battles. Here’s the tally by the numbers.
vlcsnap-2014-07-18-09h53m23s139Between Chace Lachance and Mutant, you decisively declared (101 – 22) that Chace wore the black leather trunks best.  Whether his choice to leave the top unzipped biased your votes, we’ll never know, but I would hardly classify that pandering as out of bounds for this blog.  Nicely worn, Chace!

vlcsnap-2014-07-18-09h37m14s169The stars and stripes trunk vote was much closer (65 – 45), but once again it was hairy hottie Chace earning the most votes and making readers line up behind that gorgeous body.

vlcsnap-2014-07-18-09h39m26s227The red thong vote took me just a little by surprise, because I honestly thought Mutant packed that pouch much more solidly, but the majority stuck with Chace in a commanding victory (77 – 33).  I see what you’re talking about, mind you.  Chace is a vision.

mutantHowever, when it came to that daring black and blue lace up leotard, Mutant pulled out the respectable victory (59 – 44). Personally, I’d argue that no one actually looks “good” in this gear and that we should never, ever see the sight of it on a homoerotic wrestler ever again.  But for as long as we did in Oil Hunks 3, it was smooth and sexy Mutant’s massive bulges that made that fashion-don’t as good as it could get.

vlcsnap-2014-07-18-09h41m19s78Mutant’s victory was short-lived as Chace promptly spanked those muscled glutes of his when it came to the cheetah-print thong (75-30).  I honestly thought Mutant’s magnificent ass was going to make this particular poll much closer, but I suspect Chace’s cocky attitude helps make this very little slice of a whole lot of heaven all about him.

vlcsnap-2014-07-18-10h40m11s55I wasn’t surprised a bit that Chace overwhelmingly won approval (79-20) for his wearing of the tarzan tie-strap thong, because everything about this works in his favor. The fact that he was the one who mentioned that this look makes him feel like Tarzan only helps to sell just how completely he owns the look.  As one commenter put it, “Chace can bring his Tarzan act to my treehouse anytime!”

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So we didn’t even need the full on naked tie-breaker, because Chace commandingly owned the fashion wars with Mutant by taking 5 out of the 6 polls. While Chace doesn’t fair quite so well by the end of Oil Hunks 3 as he does in the fashion arena, no one loses when it comes to these two impeccably sculpted, sizzlingly hot muscle hunks pleasing fans in and outside of the ring.

I had a new Friday Fashion poll to post, but my poll widget appears broken. So you’ll have to express your fashion sense by leaving a comment.  Who’s got the hottest fashion sense in homoerotic wrestling these days, do you think?

Friday Fashion

Fashion plays a major role in the dramas of a couple of different new homoerotic wrestling releases.  In Muscle Domination Wrestling’s newest season, Chace LaChance and giant rookie Mutant face off, repeatedly changing gear to demonstrate who looks hottest.  Even more enticingly for wrestling fashionistas, both of these muscle beasts give solo fashion shows pre-match to whet our appetites, and I for one, am drooling uncontrollably.  Almost by definition, Oil Hunks 3 insists on a series of fashion comparisons.  Chace and Mutant have clearly formed opinions about who wore each piece of gear best.  But here at neverland, it’s a tyranny of the majority of homoerotic wrestling fans who rule.  So let’s take a look at both boys strutting their stuff in the same gear during and before their Oil Hunks 3 collision.  Noting that you have 6 votes to cast below, you decide, gear by gear, who wore it best.

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Chace LaChance rocked very brief black leather trunks, opting to leave the tops unzipped a little to let you follow his treasure trail.
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Mutant sports the same black leather briefs fully loaded.
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Chace tugs at the side of the Stars and Stripes full briefs.
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Mutant opts for a sideways single bicep to highlight the bulge.
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Chace goes full-on forward, daring you to take your eyes off his hairy muscles barely covered by the red thong.
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Mutant puckers up and gives his freakishly hot, smooth body some loving, framed so beautifully in the same red thong.
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The black and blue lace-up leotard was a bold fashion choice, but Chace is all in and bulging beautifully in it.
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Not to be out-bulged, Mutant wears the same leotard out with the massive beef hanging off his bones.
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Chace invites your lustful appraisal of him in a cheetah print thong.
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For your full consideration, Chace also shows off the cheetah print thong from behind.

 

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Mutant stares you down, tugging seductively at the sides of the same cheetah print thong.
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Not to be outdone, Mutant shows off his astonishing backside in the cheetah print thong as well.

 

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Chace says this tie-strap thong makes him feel like Tarzan.
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The same tie-on thong makes Mutant feel like flexing.

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Finally, when it comes to comparing who wore nothing at all the best, Mutant is a forfeit. He did all of his wardrobe changes off camera, leaving the undisputed and richly deserving title of who wore nothing at all best to the devastatingly sexy, hairy, muscle bound, nude beauty of Chace LaChance!

 

 

 

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

I’m a few days late in taking the crown of homoerotic wrestler of the month off of the handsome brow of Dr. Austin Cooper and placing it on a new honoree.  Perhaps I’ve been reluctant to move on from Austin-as-heel.  Perhaps I’m afraid he’ll kick my ass.  In any case, I’m stepping up to the plate today to peruse the new releases in homoerotic wrestling published in the month of May to pick one wrestler who grabbed me hardest.  Without further ado, the new reigning neverland homoerotic wrestler of the month is…

 

 

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…Chace LaChance.

I’ve been attentive to Chace’s career since I first saw him team up with long-time favorite Lon Dumont over at BG East in Tag Team Torture 12.  Chace is nothing… nothing like he was in those early days of his career.  For one thing, he’s added another 50% of bodyweight, at least 20% of which is contained in his gargantuan pecs.  I used to refer to Chace as a go-go boy, but these days he looks like he swallowed a go-go boy as an appetizer. Over the years he’s grown increasingly illustrated, with ink now extending almost the length of his mammoth right arm.  And here in his Hairy He Men match at Muscle Domination Wrestling, he’s put down the razor and let the hair grow on this gorgeous pecs and abdomen.  Muscleboy. Ink. Fur. Heel?!  I’m just referring to him as Chace “Made to Order” LaChance now!

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Tony Law adorably insists that his physique is the best in the house.

A word about his opponent.  There are moments when I just want to pinch adorable Tony Law’s cheeks.  Such is the case when he opens this match by flexing and announcing, “I think I have the best physique in the house.  And I want anyone to come challenge that right now!”  It’s clear that Tony knows what’s coming from the way he bites his lower lip.  He knows he’s full of shit. And he knows he’s about to get pummeled by the mountainous, mouthwatering muscles of Chace LaChance.  Everyone. EVERYONE at MDW has beat Tony’s sweet ass, of course.  But damn it all if I don’t find myself wishing that the epic farmboy jobber learned a lesson or two and earned some respect along the way.  However, it’s not today, my friends.  Not today.

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Tony keeps insisting on tests of strength with completely overpowering Chace.

The boys slap down their proverbial dicks when Chace calls attention to what I find most eye catching and provocative about his appearance: his awesome coat of hair across his torso.  He refers to Tony’s modest patch of upper chest hair as “pussy fuzz” in comparison.  “Outrageous!” Tony snarls, his masculinity insulted.

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Chace’s full nelson almost snaps Tony’s arms off at the shoulder. And get a load of that ass!

“Outrageously great, I understand,” cocky Chace flexes his mammoth bicep in Tony’s face.  Tony seems most intent on proving that he can defy the odds in one test of strength after another.  Chace smirks and chuckles each time they lock up and the behemoth swats Tony away like a horsefly.  He peppers the story throughout with both physical and emotional attacks, regularly calling attention to Tony’s baby smooth body and suggesting an inherent inferiority in comparison to Chace’s manliness.

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Bear trap.

There’s so much about Chace’s physique to commend him to this month’s title, but in addition to the aforementioned awesome pecs, biceps, and abs, that massive slab of beef that is his muscled ass is breathtaking.  And those gargantuan, hairy legs!  Holy crap, what a specimen!  Muscleboy wannabe Tony absolutely shrinks in comparison, and when Chace locks those telephone pole thighs around him, Tony wriggles like a helpless fish on the line.

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Chace doubles down on the body scissors, demonstrating just how wrong Tony was to believe that he had the best physique in the house.

The camera work in Hairy He Men is either too avant garde for me, or else it’s just a bit “off.”  There’s a ton of focus on suffering Tony, but weirdly, epically hot Chace is frequently partially cut out of the frame.  Perhaps it’s intended to emphasize how huge he is (as in, he’s so big our camera can’t quite capture him all at once!).  And of course there are those for whom the turn on is precisely watching Tony’s face turn beet red and twisted in agony, so shortchanging a look at Chace is fine.  As someone who tends toward infatuation with the pitcher, however, I’m a bit frustrated for the lack of lingering looks at devastatingly hot Chace.

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Chace repeatedly attempts to pry Tony apart at the seams.

I’ve been critical of MDW for shortchanging the wrestling in their wrestling matches, as they sometimes tend to favor the drama, domination, and muscle torture more.  Chace brings a sweet focus on the kink I love, however.  His go-to is, curiously, a sort-of bow and arrow that I swear has got to have added inches to the length of Tony’s right leg and right arm.  Mammoth, hairy bear bearhugs and back and gut abuse maintain a pleasing pace in the combat.  However, I feel compelled to point out a familiar refrain in my reviews of MDW: this is a total, complete, unadulterated squash.  Those left yawning at one-way streets will likely not be provoked by this as much as I am.  I think MDW still has more to learn in taping homoerotic wrestling that tells the compelling story of competition that teeters on the edge, of battles that are nuanced and suspenseful.

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Like me, Chace likes what he sees. All hail never land’s reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month!

There’s no suspense in Hairy He Men.  Chace is THE Hairy He Man this day. Tony Law is ground into dust.  Chace LaChance is sexier than I think I’ve ever seen him. And in the field of new releases in May, it’s Chace who grabs not only Tony, but me as well, in claiming the title of never land’s homoerotic wrestler of the month.

The Eyes Have It

It’s all subjective, of course, which makes debating which homoerotic wrestlers are sexiest, most accomplished, most entertaining, etc. both a joy and a farce. Some pics of recently-released matches have been hypnotizing me with some truly gorgeous, come-hither, tantalizingly beautiful eyes. I’m sure you’d pick out a different line up to epitomize the sexiest eyes in the business, but boldly embracing the eye-of-the-beholder angle, my thoughts today are about the hunks who hold my gaze most powerfully with their piercing, provocative stares.

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There’s nothing short of exquisitely beautiful about lovely Rio Garza, but his deep, brown eyes are simply riveting!
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Gazing into Pretty Pete Sharp’s eyes are like bathing in a glacier fed mountain lake – almost too thrilling to stand!
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Thus far Vic Madone has been a one-hit-wonder at BG East, but I’m hoping to see more of him. His eyes coo, “I’m going to fuck you sweetly,” while his hot bod and nasty wrestling promise, “I’m just going to fuck you up!”
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Michael Vineland has such a hot body unquestionably made for nothing better than fuck-stakes wrestling, but he’s got the blue steel and cheekbones of a fashion model.
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Sky blue irises!? What sort of genetic lottery winner do you have to be to have the body of a Norse god, dimpled chin of a Hollywood leading man, and sky blue irises!? You have to be my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler and homoerotic wrestler of the month, Kid Karisma.
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While we’re on the topic of genetic lottery winners, there’s the perpetually fit physique phenom, Z-Man, with dramatic eyes straight out of Lawrence of Arabia.
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I once described Chace LaChance as a gogo boy, but lately he looks more like he eats gogo boys for breakfast. The boy is huge, devastatingly powerful, and aesthetically about as picture perfect for my tastes as just about anyone. But whenever I linger for just a moment on those beautiful brown eyes, I can’t help but picture them on the pillow next to me, smiling back at me in the morning.