Author: wrestlebard

I'm a gay man with an active imagination.

A Hearty Welcome

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Jason Kane: the newest Teen Dream from Rock Hard Wrestling

Am I getting older, or are the stars of homoerotic wrestling getting younger? It’s a rhetorical question, so give me an early Christmas present and don’t answer. Generally speaking, I tend to think of myself as perpetually 29 years old. But seeing the face on the new teen dream from Rock Hard Wrestling, Jason Kane, I suddenly feel much, much older. Seriously, is this kid even shaving yet?! Okay, so fuck the face. The peaks on those biceps make me feel young and vigorous again. Raw, untested rookie beef like this is timeless. I don’t care how old this teen heartthrob is. Someone needs to make this gym bunny scream.

Ethan Andrews welcomes Jason Kane to Rock Hard Wrestling

Ethan Andrews clearly knows what I’m talking about. I think I’ve bitched about Ethan being some sort of bait-and-switch for RHW, since he’s decidedly less handsome and more skater punk than rock hard stud. I can be such a bitch sometimes. The look of low-down, carnal, sadistic pleasure stretched across Ethan’s toothy punk ass face as he soaks in the sight of studly Jason screaming in agony requires me to apologize for any past bitchy comments I made about young Ethan and acknowledge here and now that, while it’s Jason’s ripped body that makes this match rock hard, it’s Ethan’s nasty delight at making the muscle hunk suffer that makes this match homoerotic wrestling.

Ethan looks downright evil making the pretty boy scream

Ethan knows he’s got this rookie-bashing confrontation all sewn up within about 8 seconds of hopping over the top rope to start the match. Pretty, babyface Jason offers downright polite pleasantries. “What, no trash talk?” Ethan asks sincerely surprised… a fraction of a second before he lands a lightening boot strike to Jason’s washboard abs and rolls over the rookie like a steam roller. Ethan seems to take Jason’s rock hard, flat stomach as a personal insult somehow, and he proceeds to pummel the teen dream’s core with tunnel-visioned focus.

Ethan shows Jason what all those muscles are really for:
suffering so sweetly!

Jason goes no where fast. Ethan plays him like a guitar, strumming and plucking all of those taut, beautiful muscles like a maestro. Jason suffers in the corner, bounces off the ropes, gets squeezed, punched, kicked and twisted mercilessly to welcome him to the homoerotic wrestling universe. Ethan explains the facts of life to Jason. Muscles are nice and all, but victory depends on technique.

Jason begs to differ: his muscles are for dominating!

The rookie gets riding time as well. Mostly strikes and slams show off Jason’s hot flexing body, including the bright red hand prints left by Ethan’s slaps. With just a little advantage, the babyface is crowing and strutting, flexing his thick bicep in Ethan’s face and proclaiming with absolute certainty, “You don’t need technique, when you got this!” Jason looks every bit the high school quarterback, grinning from ear to ear as he corners a skinny nerd in the bathroom to slap him around and prove once again why he’s on top of the cutthroat, Lord of the Flies social structure of adolescence.

Ethan studies the effects of his complete mastery of the rookie stud

However, Ethan knows something that painfully young Jason hasn’t yet figured out: this isn’t the high school bathroom. This is a professional wrestling ring, and those HD video cameras are reflecting the eyes of hundreds of gay men unzipping their pants to watch an all too pretty young muscle hunk force fed a dish of humility. Sure, Jason’s undersized trunks ride down his hips a bit, but I tell you it’s the tilt of Ethan’s head as he smiles down so lustfully at the sight of his sweaty, grimacing, writhing opponent  that becomes what I can’t tear my eyes away from here.

Hot young muscle where it belongs: underfoot.

There’s a truly inspired moment near the end of Jason’s initiation into our world. Ethan has gazed long and hard at the pain contorting Jason’s pretty face as he threatens to rip the young stud’s shoulder out of its socket in a bow and arrow. Ethan lets him go to taunt him a little more, explaining that he’s got more in store for the once-invincible pretty boy. Shiny Jason shakes his head frantically as he looks like he’s trying to crawl away on his stomach, reaching for the reprieve of the ropes. The close-up of wide-eyed panic on Jason’s face is intoxicating, but it’s the vision of Ethan, hyped up on the exhilaration of completing owning this hot young stud as he grabs Jason’s ankle to set him up for a match ending figure-4 leglock, that sends me over the edge. Welcome to the world of homoerotic wrestling, Jason. So happy that you decided to join us.

A Blue Christmas

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Chris Wragge on his way out at The Early Show
Why do morning television news producers hate me so? My extra blood pump in the morning is getting rarer by the day. It started with Chris Cuomo getting booted from Good Morning America almost exactly two years ago. Things brightened up last January when The Early Show brought hunky Chris Wragge to the anchor desk, but again, the Christmas season is bringing tragic news for my daily dose of hunky newsmen. Wragge is being benched and replaced by two cold showers.

Carter Evans – the most recent evidence that news producers hate me.

And now I’ve learned that Carter Evans, the real anchor of my hunk lust morning routine, is leaving his morning market report to follow his prego wife who’s just got a new job in L.A. I don’t know what Carter’s plans are, but apparently they don’t involve appearing on my television screen every morning.

Matt Gutman – my last, best hope

The slim bright spot and ray of hope is that Good Morning America is tapping hairy chested hunk Matt Gutman with increasing frequency as a correspondent.  Matt is ripe for the picking, as far as I’m concerned. I think I’m due for a little good news from the traitorous bastards at ABC News who sent Chris Cuomo to Siberia (aka, 20/20). Matt Gutman needs to be tapped for an on-air desk job on GMA.

The Gutman – ready to get the call to the Big Show

Please, picture The Gutman with his shirt unbuttoned halfway down his hot, hairy chest, which is his standard operating procedure as a correspondent. Those dimples, the strong arms, and that aforementioned hairy chest as regular news reader on GMA would be golden, I tell you. Who wouldn’t want to tune in to see this man flashing that sexy smile on a regular basis? WHO?!

Matt Gutman is fully committed to delivering the news.
Sure, Chris Cuomo is willing to work a wet t-shirt, fish shirtless, and wear muscle-hugging spandex as a triathlete. And no doubt, Chris Wragge made a desperate bid to stave off the axe by doing his own behind-the-scenes ironman self-expose. But in The Gutman, we have a new hunk who, in the interest of informing the public, is ready to strip down to a towel while covering a story. He’s got an international resume. He was harassed by big oil as he bravely covered the Gulf Spill with seemingly fewer and fewer buttons needing buttoned with each broadcast. He showed off that broad, meaty, hairy chest of his covering the soft news of extreme diving.  The Gutman is versatile (which I love in a man), sharp as a whip (which I love even more), and already starring in my homoerotic wrestling imagination.
I have no idea if this is actually The Gutman, but this provocative shot
is out there and attributed to him… and it works for me.
The morning news landscape is getting downright desolate. I’m bitter and disillusioned. I’m perfectly poised to be captured by a new vision of sexy news with brown eyes, dark curly hair, fit body and coverboy dimples. In the mean time, when it comes to my morning routine, it’s a blue, blue Christmas for me.

Exceeding Myself with Happiness

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Friend of neverland, AH, commented on my post about Lon Dumont last Friday, saying, in part:

“…I hope that Lon is as turned on by your words as you are turned on by his methodical manhandling of his opponents!”

It’s no secret that I’m turned on by Lon’s ringcraft in the extreme. I can only wish such passionate pleasure on my dearest friends. I was nursing a bodybuilder wrestling fantasy before I first saw Lon displaying his gorgeous physique in the BG East ring. In fact, bulging, expertly crafted muscles, paired with championship indy pro ring skills and a wicked sharp wit was starring in my wrestling kink imagination for a majority of my life. Lon’s arrival on the scene at BG East was an epiphany, the alignment of stars, a fantasy man climbing out of my erotic longings and into the ring. True enough, it’s only now that he’s officially my homoerotic wrestler of the month, but he owned the title long before I actually saw him leave big, sweaty Eddy Rey hanging defenseless in the ropes, watching Lon pump a sweetly peaked bicep in his dumbstruck face.

While I don’t know what’s turning Lon on at the moment, I do know that he read my latest post. I also know that he’s a genuinely gracious muscle hunk, because he generously forwarded me these pics from the culmination of months and months of obsessive physical training as he competed in several bodybuilding competitions this season.

The pro tan seems oppressive for those of us unaccustomed to the particular tastes and demands of the competition bodybuilding scene. However, I’d drop a paycheck to be the one to finger paint the shiny, brown pigment across every bulge and in every nook and cranny. Reports are that Lon’s trophy case is completely maxed out after competing in multiple shows this season. His hot muscles understandably earned the respect of plenty of judges.

As much as his on-stage side chest pose impressed the judges, I have to say, his side chest pose in the ring, with one boot planted victoriously into the back of writhing Morgan Cruise is about 50 times more awe-inspiring for my tastes.

The pro tanned, slicked up sculpture of Lon’s double bicep in physique competition is hot, but the image of him lifted off his feet in a full nelson and forced to pump out the same pose in submission to beefy Eddy Rey is off the charts!

With the stage lights glistening off his obliques, there’s no denying that this single bicep shot is a work of art. But hot damn, Lon gazing lovingly at that same bulging bicep even as he threatens to snap Terry O’Daly’s knee off in the ring is simply incomparable!

No doubt about it, I love hot, muscular, beautiful bodies like Lon’s.  Competitive bodybuilding’s insistence on slicking their muscle men up with baby oil and stripping them down to minimal posing trunks makes the sport one of the most spectacular spectator sports ever dreamed up. But anything, anything that happens under the bright lights of non-contact bodybuilding is mind-blowingly eroticized (even more) when a hot, handsome, hard muscle man is transported into the wrestling ring.  Lon would be a fantasy man based solely on his razor wit and aesthetic proportions, without a doubt. But he’s reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month because he’s all that and a sexy ass pro wrestler, too!

Demanding a Recount

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Bodybuilder Battle 46
Thunder’s Arena regulars have been burning up the comment pages with regard to anything they can get their hands on with rookie giant, Boxxy. His stats put him at a reported 6’4″ tall and 240 pounds. In his native Transylvania, Romania, that would translate to around 1.93 meters and a bruising 109 kilograms. The pairing of 5’5″, 135 pound Angel against this monstrosity in Bodybuilder Battle 46 is a stark contrast. Boxxy looks like he could snap Angel in half without breaking a sweat.
Foxxy Boxxy
My characterization of Boxxy as a “monstrosity” is admittedly wildly imprecise. He’s clean cut, shaved smooth and remarkably handsome. His handsome must be remarked upon because if you’re like me, it may take you a while to notice his face. His body is hard to tear your eyes away from. He also has a deep, sexy voice and hot, Eastern European accent. So far he seems like an impervious juggernaut at Thunder’s, but I can’t help but think his potential as a babyface is where Boxxy would truly shine. Put him in front of some smaller, sadistic heel and let him learn the hard way that big and beautiful are not all they’re cracked up to be in the land of cut-throat capitalism. Just my 2 cents….
Angel works a little catchweight magic on the Transylvanian Terror.
Angel has been staple fare at Thunder’s for ages, and his mocking impersonation of Boxxy’s thick accent and broken English are sweet drama to start this confrontation. The look in his eyes as he stares way, way up at the Romanian can’t be confused for anything other than fear covered with a thin layer of bravado. The sound in his voice, however, is sneering contempt designed to start the battle in the giant’s psyche before the physical confrontation begins. While Angel was never, ever going to “win” this match, there’s something very hot about seeing the petite, tattooed scrapper manage to schoolboy pin the giant and snarl insults down into his face. I tell you, that babyface-ripe-for-the-plucking angle could be a barnburner for foxy Boxxy.
Boxxy brings much more to the mat than just muscle and hair gel!

That’s not to say that the behemoth doesn’t pull off withering contempt quite well himself, though. He looks into the camera in disbelief when he steps onto the mat with his petite opponent.  “This is the guy you send me to fight?” he asks incredulously, pointing down into Angel’s face. “Come here, BOY!” he suddenly snaps.  “Toys?” Angel intentionally misunderstands the thick Romanian accent. “I don’t have any toys!” he laughs.

Now we’re talkin’…
Opportunities for Angel to laugh are, otherwise, quite rare in this 21 minute mat match. Watching the big, beautiful Boxxy manhandle the lightweight like a sack of laundry is quite a sight. I know that there are fellow wrestling kink fans who find a one-sided catchweight bout yawn-inspiring, but when the big man really punishes the foolhardy little guy, it can stir something in my loins that I so love to be stirred. Boxxy and Angel use all 4 hands to stir that very spot in me in this match. Like the legions of commenters on the Thunder’s boards, I have a tough time not being entranced, hypnotized almost, by the sight of Boxxy’s powerful, massively proportional ass. “Best ass in Thunder’s,” some of the fans are arguing. Until I see him sans trunks side by side with similarly naked Big Sexy, I’ll reserve judgment on that count. Unreservedly, however, I’m fully on board with the assessment that Boxxy’s butt is phenomenal.

Boxxy needs to be cast as Clark Kent
captured, bound, and crushed into muscleman humiliation!

The big man has moves, too! He possess more agility and speed than a body that size has a right to. “Not so tough now, huh, BOY!!!” he screams into Angel’s face as he pins the lightweight to his back under his overwhelming mass of muscles.  “Toys? Toys? Look, I don’t have any toys,” Angel grimaces as he tries to play from his smart ass deck, which is usually his trump suit.  Boxxy shirks off the ridicule and flexes his gargantuan bicep for the camera while he easily pins Angel’s throat to the mat beneath his other arm.

Boxxy has news for neverland readers: he’s got more than his fair share of potential!

Boxxy’s ego, like his ass, is in perfect proportion to the rest of him. He terrorizes Angel into a decisive victory that sends the message loud and clear: in the land of big, big muscle studs, there’s a new giant muscleman who just may be able to give even the biggest bad boys a run for their money. He’s going to snarl and shout derision. He’ll muscle his way around and look gorgeous kicking ass. I won’t be surprised to see him go pec to pec with some other gargantuan bodybuilder bodies, because let’s face it, that’s the way the Thunder rolls. But I’m telling you, this man needs to be suited up in skimpy white trunks and boots, tossed into a wrestling ring, and given the initiation that all devastatingly handsome muscle men with a fierce belief in the righteousness of superior strength and diligent physical training deserve.

Happiness Is…

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Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month –
Lon Dumont
I had an instant crush on homoerotic wrestler of the month, Lon Dumont, when I saw his BG East debut in Fantasymen 32.  Lon’s cocky swagger and clear, strong voice, paired with his beautifully sculpted body and fully formed wrestling persona had me riveted before big Eddy Rey even showed up ringside.
Lon cuts big Eddy Rey down to size
When Eddy finally arrived, Lon continued to captivate me by taking the lead in the dance of establishing the plot. Eddy encouraged Lon to continue with his posing routine, but Lon refused with a snort. “People pay to see me flex,” he explains. Lon wasn’t about to just give it away for free. When Eddy proposes that perhaps he might just make Lon flex for him, Lon put his hands on his hips and tilted his head to side, thinking. When he acknowledges that Eddy is a tall drink of water and calls him, “Sprout,” I both laugh and grow even more aroused at the same time.
Eddy obediently flexes for Lon
In short order, Lon confirmed my fondest hope.  Via a blindside assault on big Eddy, Lon demonstrated with brutal grace that he has not only the body, not only the persona, but also the ring savvy and wrestling skill to deserve my firmly established fanaticism. On message like a bear trap, Lon made sweaty Eddy flex his hot muscles over and over, wringing one submission after another out of the big man. Lon was patient but firm as he physically and psychologically broke down big Eddy, systematically transforming him from an over-confident, hard-bodied hunk into a whimpering, obedient, defenseless plaything.
As documented here at neverland, each and every new release from Lon Dumont makes my heart flutter like a star-struck schoolgirl. I most appreciate his rookie wrecking work, such as beating down to size the likes of big, dumb (and presumably full of cum) Terry O’Daly and, most recently, hairy bruiser Morgan Cruise. Big, strong, barely legal studs like these are genetically predisposed and socially trained to believe that they deserve to come out on top over smaller, more mature opponents. Handsome, letterman jacket-wearing sides of beef grow up unfailingly reinforced in the faith that youth and size merit victory when they stand, flexing, side-by-side with the likes of 5’6 and 15/16″ tall, 150 pound, 30-something opponents. When Lon picks them apart like Thanksgiving turkey leftovers, you can see their rookie worldviews come crashing down around them.  As Lon cuts them down to size and then lifts his right boot, pauses as he takes aim, and then stomps all over them, tenderizing their cornfed muscles from head to toe, the likes of Terry and Morgan learn that the real world will not be handed to them on a platter just because they’re big, fit and young.

Ripped Lon and partner Chace LaChance

Versatility turns me on, as well, and my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month can tell more than one story. Teamed up with too, too tweezed go-go boy rookie Chace LaChance, Lon was also convincingly one half of pretty-in-peach, going down in two out of three to big, nasty Donnie Drake and his sadist apprentice, Doug Rand. Babyface heroes who battle valiantly but are bested by crafty shortcuts and vile double teams are beautiful to behold. When Lon is knocked out cold and laid out defenseless and vulnerable next to his pretty partner in the middle of the ring, all that gorgeous muscle so helpless and humiliated makes me gasp.

Joe’s huge thighs crushing Lon’s armored core
And speaking of gasping… when I interviewed Lon earlier this year, I asked him what it would take to be bested in a singles match. “Perhaps someone with a 100-pound weight advantage might have better luck,” he answered bluntly, “but besides that, I just don’t see it happening.” Perhaps going on the record like that gave the boys at BG East a devilish idea, because the next time we saw Lon climb into the ring, he was face-to-face… or perhaps, face to sternum… with 6’2″, 240 pound Titan, Joe Robbins. Bigger men have gone weak in the knees in the shadow of humungous Joe, but Lon is a study in self-control. Whether Lon’s prediction from my interview was playing through his mind as Joe wrapped his tree trunks around him and crushed him into sobbing agony, I don’t know. But while nearly 100-pounds of weight advantage did, indeed, blemish Lon’s undefeated 1-on-1 record, Lon proved that he’s not just entertaining when he’s large and in charge. He’s a vision, suffering for days, enduring boatloads of pain for a marathon session of gut abuse that incredibly reluctantly wrings a string of submissions out of the bodybuilder. When Lon is gasping, clutching his rips, slumped against the ring apron, his loss to Joe is just one more check in the win column when it comes to confirming my lustful devotion.
Picture perfect Lon rips Terry O’Daly’s knee off

Not everyone is turned on by what I’m turned on by, but one thing that defines this blog and my lust is wrestling. And Lon is first and foremost a sexy-ass wrestler. Just like his stomps, his masterful application of joint wrenching submission holds is brutally graceful.  The rookies that Lon excels in destroying are typically ham-handed, a little awkward as they work themselves into position to snap on a Boston crab or have to use trial-and-error to figure out the most effective angle to work a bearhug. Lon, on the other hand, slides like liquid gold into position. He knows just how far a knee will bend, just how much tension a back can take. He’s such a technician that he can afford to be an artist as well, flexing his body just right, snarling beautifully, displaying his writhing opponent gorgeously for the perfect camera angle.

Like me, Lon can’t help but marvel at the
image of his complete mastery over Morgan Cruise

It was Lon’s deeply satisfying rookie wrecking of hairy chested bruiser Morgan Cruise that earned him, at last, the title of homoerotic wrestler of the month. The vision of Morgan’s Prometheus Bound performance nearly earned the rookie the reader’s choice as the rookie with the most potential. I, for one, am very, very keen to see Morgan and his cleft chin show up again to see if he can start to learn some of those lessons that Lon so patiently offered him. But as beautiful as Morgan’s destruction is, my eyes are stuck like glue on every flex, every vein rising to the surface, every angle of Lon’s body as he demonstrates his mastery of the ring and as he masters Morgan’s powerful body and so vulnerable soul.

Lon’s excellence of execution
There’s something profoundly erotic about a man who is completely self-possessed and in control of his emotions even as he administers debilitating doses of pain and suffering. This probably explains why I continue to enjoy Dexter so much (despite Michael C. Hall’s stubborn refusal to let us see his ass), and it most definitely explains, in part, why Lon captivates me so thoroughly. He’s a rational wrestler. He’s thinking as he’s applying that armbar. He contemplating the moral of the story, even as he’s threatening to rip poor Morgan’s head off of his neck. When Lon is finished with Morgan, he gives the wrecked rookie a thoughtful examination. It’s not personal. Hell, Lon even suggests that he’d be willing to entertain teaming up with beefy Morgan to continue to tutor the heel-hopeful.

Lon’s rippling abs, sculpted quads, bulding shoulders, rock hard pecs,
perfectly employed.

Lon has been working my wrestling kink like a champ from the moment his flexing image appeared on my screen. His charming interview from last February proved that Lon is a quality human being in addition to being a captivating homoerotic wrestler. He’s been at the top of my charts for a long time when it comes to my favorite homoerotic wrestlers (non-pornboys), and his destruction of Morgan Cruise’s body and dreams makes him, at long last and unquestionably, my homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Lon wrestles, flexes, and thinks his way to #1

True Faith

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What brand of genius is it that they’ve found in their casting agents at HBO?! I’ve raved (RAVED, I say!), about the uncanny brilliance of the people who have collected such stunningly inspiring hunks as Ryan Kwanten, Sam Trammel, Alexander Skarsgård, Mehcad Brooks, Joe Manganiello, and Stephen Moyer (to name only a few) into one cruise missile to my crotch that is True Blood. Now, reports are out that True Blood has cast Christopher Meloni for next season.

In my daily life, I’ve heaped sneering contempt by the buckets-full on proponents of “Intelligent Design” who argue that there must be a god because the world is just too perfectly ordered to happen by chance. Now, I have to admit, I’m thinking that this addition of Christopher Meloni to the cast of True Blood may have converted me into a believer. This is making me completely rethink whether there is a god controlling things, because this is just too perfect to be believed. Indeed, I’m suspecting there is a god, and he’s a gay man with impeccable taste working for the casting contractor who supplies the divinely inspired collection of erotic fantasymen that make me lost in flights of ecstasy as I ponder the cast of True Blood.

My homoerotic wrestling fiction is littered with evidence of the spiritual power that the casting of True Blood has had on me.  I’ve written fictional wrestling matches starring Trammel, Moyer, and Kwanten. Skarsgård has shown up twice, and like the two appearances of Manganiello, I’m strongly convicted in my faith that they will show up again. And Christopher Meloni has already been haunting my homoerotic wrestling fantasies hard and loud, inspiring 4 matches in just about any constellation I can throw him into the ring to face (singles, tag-team, gang-bang…).  The last we saw Christopher, he was  left stripped naked in the ring after being mauled by all of Eli Brody’s executive assistants in turn. My idea then was that he was finally, tentatively tamed and would be a fantastically sadistic tool of the powers that be in rookie wrecking more upstart egos, now fully incorporated into the corporate powers of the entertainment-industrial complex.

Hot damn in the morning! If that casting agent who is divine ever opens up a church of homoerotic wrestling devotion, I’m going to be the biggest evangelist the world has seen since Cyrus conquered the known world and incorporated all of the local gods into the pantheon of Persian hegemony. If Christopher Meloni doesn’t appear in a naked wrestling match with Manganiello, Skarsgård and, let’s say Allan Hyde (just to keep things fresh), then my faith in Intelligent Design may waver. Till then, I’m a believer, god damn it!

Reader’s Choice – Nick Collins

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Voting was enthusiastic and the competition was hotly contested, but Rock Hard Wrestling’s Nick Collins managed to hold off a late surge by BG East beefcake, Morgan Cruise, to claim the Reader’s Choice award for the recent rookie with the brightest potential.
Jake Jenkins ties Nicky up like a pretzel

Nicky’s appeal can hardly be a mystery. The lean, ripped body… the shaggy, long, yankable hair… that hefty package and oh-so-sweet round ass vacuum packed inside those skin tight trunks… still frame alone makes eager Nick Collins someone to watch.

Jake has his way with fresh, young Nicky

In both his singles and tag-team debuts at Rock Hard, he also shows clear evidence that he can wrestle. He’s nowhere near the polish and ring savvy of the RHW catalog 6 breakouts like muscle stud (and former homoerotic wrestler of the month) Jake Jenkins and his partner in crime, Austin Cooper (who, let’s face it, have come a long, long way in their short careers). Nicky has some amateur wrestling background, clearly, in the way he leverages is lean, tight body to flip and control his opponents. He’s a fit young stud who can get tossed and slammed and keep coming back.

Jake and Austin cannot get enough of rookie bashing Nicky

But he is a rookie, let’s face it. He sells about 40% of the time. He goes from 0 to 60 (writhing in agony to snarling with contempt and hardly breathing heavy at all) in the blink of an eye. He hasn’t yet really sold me, at least, with a reason that he’s climbed into the ring to face brutal, full contact competition. I can imagine the backstory, but sweet, sweet Nicky hasn’t yet really fleshed out the character and motivation for us.

All that fit muscle and bulging potential!

Which may be why so many of you tapped him for the rookie with the most potential. He’s got such sweet, bulging, squeezable raw materials to work with, and at the same time he’s got a boat load of improvement to make to turn a couple of passenger seat matches into a full on homoerotic wrestling kink persona that draws us in for more than just the beauty of that baby, baby, babyface and lean, hard body.

When he sells it, Nicky’s a gorgeously vulnerable babyface

Check babyboy out getting battered and abused by muscleboys Jake and Austin in his tag team defeat with partner Cliff Johnson, or pounding out two out of three to take a victory from fellow fresh face rookie Gunner Bayani.

Sweet, sweet potential!
Personally, I think my favorite homoerotic wrestler, non-pornboy division (and current homoerotic wrestler of the month) Lon Dumont needs to ring the school bell and open up a clinic for all of these rookies to learn so, so much (with sweet Nicky at the head of the class, of course)! I’ve also got a deep craving to see the top contender chomping at Lon’s ass for the title of favorite homoerotic wrestler, non-pornboy, and former homoerotic wrestler of the month, Kid Karisma, wrap little Nicky’s back around a ring post like a Christmas ribbon. Potential? Hell, yes.

Art Imitating Art

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Vote yet in the current reader’s choice poll in the right margin? You have until Monday morning to register your pick for the rookie with the brightest potential in “the biz.” In the mean time, this shiny bit of hotness just caught my attention and sent my homoerotic wrestling imagination spinning.
My infatuation with dizzyingly handsome Dylan McDermott began the moment I saw him steal every scene in Steel Magnolias. Perhaps, objectively speaking, he didn’t actually steal every scene, but the rest of that chick-flick is a blur between the part where Olympia Dukakis utters the line “All gay men are named Mark, Rick or Steve,” and the final scene of the movie where I’m blubbering like an emotionally labile puddle of goo. I attribute the blur to the fleeting sight of a gorgeous, young, delicious Dylan McDermott holding my gaze anytime he’s on screen.

Home for the Holidays made me fall in lust with him all over again. If that man stalked me across the country, I’d be completely at his mercy, and by mercy I mean mercilessness. I watched The Practice entirely for Dylan-viewing. You’d think American Horror Story would be must-see television for me, as Dylan’s newest vehicle. Hot star, horror theme… but no. Haven’t seen it at all. Perhaps it has potential to be one of those gems I discover on DVD.

On the other hand, I do regularly check in at Superherofan, who does apparently watch it, and the latest posts from the show certainly capture my imagination. Dylan is the star of a shower scene (really, do I need to say more?). As he climbs out, he’s attacked (yes, more! more!) by a masked attacker in a rubber suit (holy hell….). Dylan appears to get thrown around, chloroformed, rear-choked, with his hot, freshly toweled body writhing in his captor’s grasp.

Not knowing the plot, I’m left to my own devices to fill in some context. While the hips on the rubber-clad attacker suggest that this may be a woman, screw that. It’s a guy in a skin tight fetish suit, as far as I’m concerned. And vulnerable, nearly naked Dylan is the perfect target to be claimed, tamed, and trussed up as a hungry hunk’s sex puppet.

The unmasked shot here certainly looks like a dude. ‘Nuff said. Dylan’s gorgeous torso and those big, broad shoulders are going to get dominated, whether in the show or in the drama now playing in my imagination. I can just picture it, the masked, rubbered, fetishist exploring Dylan’s knocked out body, tying him down and tearing away that bastard of a bath towel to exploit his panic upon waking to pump this hottie up hard and completely out of control.

Um…. wait a second. I believe that I may be able to imagine that scene so clearly because I’ve seen it, literally. Yep, wasn’t the concept of the rubber-suited “monster” sneaking into the bathroom to ambush the showering stud, rear-choking him into unconsciousness and tying him up and manipulating every fine, gorgeous muscle (and particularly the real monster of this flick, Jay Jornter’s supernaturally thick cock!), in Can-Am’s Monster Trap, Part Deux?

While I haven’t seen American Horror Story to compare directly, I have watched Monster Trap 2, and the masked rubber attacker sneaking up behind to chloroform an unsuspecting and vulnerable hottie was definitely done before this season of FX.

The rear-choke on the bare-torsoed, lightly hairy, fit sex object in the shower by the oddly frightening and erotically provocative hunk in a skin tight wet suit was done awfully satisfyingly by Can-Am. While the similarities may not be literal plagiarism, my imagination (which is all that really counts around here, in the end, I suppose) is painting in the back story that a homoerotic wrestling fetishist television producer saw Monster Trap 2 and, consciously or not, painted Dylan into the better-quality production for FX. This is all seeming so much like the fictional homoerotic wrestling world in my imagination (wrestling fetish movie producer, mainstream television a mirror image of gay wrestling kink/porn…) that I’m starting to wonder if I need a med-check from a mental health professional. Either way, I’m even more convinced that I’ll be checking out Dylan’s shower scene for myself before too long!

Reader’s Choice

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There was such a big showing in the polls for November’s Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month that I’m suspecting that there are wrestling fans out there who really want to get their voices heard. While this blog is mostly about my own tastes, I’m happy to offer opportunities for readers to influence the buzz on the scene. You can always post comments, of course, but to keep things fresh and competitive, here’s another reader’s choice poll. Since I’m always a big booster of scouting fresh faces, who do you think is the rookie with the most potential in homoerotic wrestling? I’ve narrowed the choices to consider only recent releases and wrestlers with no more than 2 matches already on the market. Vote in the right margin before the polls close on Monday morning. If you pick “other,” nominate your favorite rookie that I failed to mention by commenting to this post.

Thunder’s Arena’s Sirus

I haven’t seen Sirus wrestle yet at Thunder’s Arena, but he’s packing major ballast down below and those pouty lips and punk ass look are extremely intriguing.

BG East’s Gavin Keys

BG East recently released a whole Rookie Wreckers collection, so they’ve got a whole platoon of nominees to consider. Milky smooth babyface Gavin Keys, for example, looks almost too fresh and wreckable to believe!

Can-Am’s Derek Fox

Derek Fox starts his career getting crotch mauled by in-house sadist showman and workhorse, Jobe Zander. This tanned, Jersey Shore looking side of beef can certainly take a punch… and a kick, and a claw, and an elbow, and everything else crushing his crotch!

BG East’s Morgan Cruise

Morgan Cruise certainly captured my imagination in his rookie wrecking at the hands of reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Lon Dumont.  Hairy, beefy, and with a dimple-chinned handsomeness, I could imagine that Morgan might have a bright wrestling future ahead.

Thunder’s Arena’s Boxxy
The Thunder’s Arena’s fans have been lighting up the comment pages with abject worship of newcomer Boxxy. He’s about the size of any two of the other rookies under consideration here combined, with an ass and a European accent that will certainly inspire many of us to crave more of this powerful phenom.
BG East’s Dylon Roberts
Any rookie game for debuting in that gear seems to me to be ready to take the homoerotic wrestling world by storm. While the gear and the low hanging fruit are so notable, Dylon Roberts‘ hot as hell handsome face and delightfully sexy, lean body are quite a combination to make him a serious contender, I think.
Rock Hard Wrestling’s Gunner Bayani
Gunner Bayani has been on the scene at RHW for a few months, but he only has 2 releases to his credit thus far, so he just skates in as qualified for this poll. The name alone convinces me that this hot, hard, wicked fast and accomplished wrestler could have a bright, bright future ahead.
BG East’s Rafael Valmor
Sexy, sultry Rafael Valmor has already earned quite a few words of ecstatic praise from me around here, so I almost didn’t include him in this poll. But there’s no denying he qualifies, and on just his first match out of the gate he demonstrates an intuitive understanding and appreciation of homoerotic wrestling like few veterans of the business.
Can-Am’s Jimmy Clay
I haven’t seen Jimmy Clay’s Can-Am debut yet in a Pro Sex Fight with Michael Vineland, but he certainly has the look, and girth, to make me suspect he could have a future in the business… if Michael didn’t crush him so commandingly that he’s too scared to climb into the ring again.
Rock Hard Wrestling’s Nick Collins
Like Gunner, Nick Collins has been on the scene at Rock Hard for a while, but he’s only sporting two releases thus far. I can’t help but think of Nick as the lean, ripped younger brother of muscle stud and personal fantasyman of mine, Jake Jenkins. Nicky has a doe-in-the-headlights look about him that could make him a seriously hot commodity as a rookie jobber, possibly evolving into a legitimately competitive babyface, and give him another 5 years and 20 pounds of muscle, and let’s see him curl that upper lip and do a crazy hot heel turn.
BG East’s Timmy Cox
As for me, I can’t help but want to see Timmy Cox’s proof-of-age before I settle in to watch this curly-haired rookie get rude and raunchy with BG East “veteran” Jonah Richards. For many a fan, I know, that will make him particularly enticing and someone to see more of. What about you?
Did I miss someone (who meets eligibility, mind you!)? If there’s another rookie you’d like to vote for, check “other” to the right and name him in the comments below. Otherwise, register your vote for one of the above rookie sensations. Perhaps a groundswell of popular support will help one or more of these fine boys secure another contract to climb into the ring, onto the mats, and/or into our wrestling fantasies.

Ken-dred Spirits, Continued

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Chatting with Ken Canada, one of BG East’s classic, handsome jobbers, was truly a delight! I hope that Ken’s enthusiasm and damn sweet earnestness come through, because they’re awfully charming. My conversation with Ken continued from where I left off in yesterday’s post, with me asking about Ken’s other BG East matches after he wrestled Sal Bruno and in Wrestlefest 1’s Battle R’Oil.


—————

BG East’s Ken Canada and his strategically placed Maple Leaf
[…interview continued from yesterday...]



Bard: And, needless to say, the image of you sliding around in the middle of the Battle R’Oil is warming a different part of my body. Any other BG East wrestling memories that stick out for you?

Ken: On that first visit in the summer of 1996, on the same weekend as I’d wrestled in the Battle R’Oil, I’d also wrestled Jett Larson and Ian Nesbitt in two separate matches. Jett is a handsome, nicely put together lad and one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met. Ian is a real sweetheart too; witty, clever, and…while wrestling in a skimpy speedo…he’s raunchy as hell!

Ian Nesbitt sets the pace in his match with Ken from Wrestlefest 1

Bard: Ian is another classic favorite of mine, and in no small part due to his being “raunchy as hell!” The Scottish accent also makes me weak in the knees. If I’m not mistaken, you wrestled a couple of the other early BG East icons as well, right?

Ken: On my second visit to the BG East estate, around 1997, it was while the comet, Hale-bop was slicing its way through the heavens above, a welcomed harbinger of victory in the ring or an ominous omen of disaster for me? Hmmmm. Time would tell. That weekend, I tangled with Kid Vicious in a hot ring match, and then, the next afternoon, with TNT Horrigan down in the BG East basement on the cool, black mats in the Mat Room. Kid Vicious is a veteran wrestler who knows all the right moves, and all the dirty illegal ones, too. TNT Horrigan is another veteran BG East rassler who knows how to get his opponent into a hold which soon has him screaming like a little girl. I’m not saying that that was the case in our mat match, but I can’t deny that he had me in agony with a couple of his expertly applied submission holds.

KV makes Ken hurt so good in Ringwars 4

Bard: You’ve simply got an incredible wrestling pedigree! I haven’t seen a few of your matches, but that will soon be rectified. I imagine that, years later, some people might second-guess being immortalized as a homoerotic wrestling gladiator. As you look back, do you have any regrets?

Ken: Both times I went to Pembroke to wrestle, I boldly went where few men have gone before: into the BG East ring or onto the BG East mats up against bigger, stronger, more skilled wrestlers. But I can honestly say that I’ve absolutely no regrets for having done so. I’ve always held onto the belief that you just gotta’ grab life by the balls and yank life around until it gives! I apply this same philosophy to wrestling. Whenever I’d find myself trapped in a hold of which I could see no immediate escape, I’d always go for the ever-vulnerable bulge. Hell! If it didn’t do the trick, at least I’d have had the pleasure of having squeezed the other guy’s man-jewels in my horny hand and of seeing that hot, sudden look of utter agony splash over his cocky face. YEAHHHH! Now that’s what does it for me! Dirty moves or not, whatever it takes to get the other guy to say, “I give! I give!”… I’m right there!

Bard: You are an inspiration to me, Ken. I hope to embrace life, wrestle it to the mat, and crank on it by the short hairs with as much abandon as you have! Do you stay in touch with any of your brothers-in-wrestling?

“Raunchy as hell” Scottish grappler,
Ian Nesbitt

Ken: I do still stay in touch with Kid Leopard and Ian Nesbitt. Even before our Wrestlefest 1 wrestling match on that 1996, July fourth weekend, Ian and I had established an instant connection, as soon as we’d met each other on that Friday afternoon. Behind his rough ‘n tough, alter ego of Ian Nesbitt – Glasgow’s infamous street gang leader – Ian’s a very funny, intelligent, articulate man who also happens to be a great writer too! Kid Leopard and I have a different sort of connection; spiritual, yet still centered upon man-to-man, erotic wrestling. We’d come to terms with our own individual wrestling obsessions via very similar routes. I look upon wrestling as being a key part of the very core of who I am. When puberty decided to kick in, I’d imprinted wrestling upon it to such a degree that for me, sex and wrestling had become synonymous… an inexplicable and inextricable morphing of the two dissimilar entities. Kid Leopard and I are also connected by birthdays too; his falls exactly one week after mine. I write him every March 15th just to make him smile or (hopefully) laugh. He’s invited me down to his place in Florida several times, and with the colder weather now starting to creep in, I may soon take him up on his kind offer.

Bard: Did you keep wrestling after your stint on camera with BG East?

TNT demonstrates his expertise in his match
with Ken in Submission 6

Ken: Oh yeah! I’d joined a gay wrestling group in Toronto who met up weekly for arranged matches in a free space replete with wrestling mats and even showers! There was no sexual activity allowed in these matches (damn it!) , but it was a fantastic opportunity to meet other guys of like mind and body, with whom any manner of relationship would be totally free to blossom later on. My friend -“Mike” – who’d introduced me to BG East by way of his videos, had invited me over to his apartment one summer evening to be tossed around by a big, lean, handsome, closeted, wannabe heel wrestler named “Paul.” Paul had been looking to wrestle against a local smaller jobber who’d be up to being lifted, carried, tossed, pinned, stretched, groin-grabbed…well…you know…all the really good stuff! Was I up for his exquisite abuse? Hell ya!!! I’d nicknamed him, “Paul Bun-yon.” And although he was indeed a very ruggedly handsome, broad-shouldered, towering giant of a man, it was his squeezable, bitable, tight, rock hard buns which really did it for me! I wanted to get totally lost in between those magnificent glutes of his, but had to settle for being trapped in endless body and head scissors holds between those massive, muscular gams of his! I’d ended up wrestling Paul only twice more after that first wonderful night. He had a partner who didn’t care much for wrestling. A couple weeks later, Paul had actually said to me that were it to happen that I should run into the two of them walking the streets of Toronto, to walk right past he and his partner and to not acknowledge him!

Bard: Damn. That’s cold.

Ken: Painful though it was to do, after he’d said this to me, I declined his request to meet up and wrestle with him again. I’ll always have those great memories of being scooped up by this 6’3″ giant, being body slammed to the mat and then slowly climbing up his gym-sculpted body, and lingering at his invitingly growing basket. Yeah…being a big heel wrestler and male nurse’s secret jobber call boy was a wonderful, though short-lived experience…and one which I’ll never forget.

Bard: Has being a BG East wrestler affected your personal relationships?

Inside and outside the ring, sometimes
we all need to take a good beating.

Ken: My partner has known all about my ties with BG East since the beginning of our relationship. He’s watched all five of my matches and is totally great with the fact that wrestling turns me on. He’s not into erotic wrestling himself, and I fully respect that; just as he respects my interest in it. We’re not together solely based upon our similarities. Our interesting differences help to bind us as well. Nobody wants to partner off with an ass-kissing, yes-man. I really believe that deep down, we all want and need an honest counterpart, someone who’ll awaken our conscience and bring us to our senses by figuratively slapping the stupidity out of us whenever we’ve stubbornly dug our heels into the ground, just to avoid bruising our ego! I’ve been “slapped” many times…and I’m a better man for it!

Bard: Sounds like you’ve found a real keeper there! Congratulations! Even though your partner isn’t into erotic wrestling, there’s something awfully hot about him sitting down and watching Ken Canada’s greatest hits. And it sounds like you’ve definitely remained immersed in wrestling.

Ken: I’d also wrestled at Hillside Campground in The Endless Mountains, Pennsylvania. I’d only gone there one time, and I believe that it was only the third anniversary of the gay wrestlers’ campground having been established. Since then, Hillside has grown incredibly larger, welcoming many more wrestlers than in the year when I had gone. It was amazing! I highly recommend camping there. I guarantee that you’ll be “pitching a tent” – if not overhead, well then most certainly in your wrestling trunks/speedo. The campground also offers all campers access to their great in-ground swimming pool. The guys are really, really friendly…and really, really hot, too! Go! Enjoy yourself! While there, I’d met a wonderful bearded lawyer/wrestler named “John” from Washington D.C.. I regret having lost touch with him over these past years.
Bard: You’ve really lived it, Ken! Again, I say, you are truly an inspiration. What are you up to these days?

Ken: As I mentioned, I’m very happily partnered off now and living in Ontario, Canada. I still maintain regular contact with Kid Leopard, and Scottish bad boy – Ian Nesbitt. I love visiting the BG East website to keep up with the latest news, faces, and tanned, muscular bodies of the wrestlers. I wonder if they know how truly lucky they are to be welcomed through the gates of the BG East wrestling home.

Bard: Any of the BG East boys that have come along after you that you’d like to get your hands on?

Ken and I have some plans to pick up where
Blaze left off, with Mr. Joshua captured
in the corner

Ken: Hmmm. That’s a tough one! Well, I sure wouldn’t mind goin’ one-on-one with Mr. Joshua Goodman, Jobe Zander, or Brook Stetson… or, better yet, having all three of them take turns ripping me apart piece by piece! That’d be fun! Hey! What if, by some miracle, (and it’d have to be some kind of miracle), Ken Canada were to take ’em all by surprise and manage to bind all three wrestlers in the ring corners, with their legs spread wide apart, their trunks pulled down, and their bountiful junk hanging free? I’d float from big guy to big guy, squeezing, fondling, groping, licking these giants’ tantalizing packages! Now that’d be a blockbuster DVD, for sure! Then again, that’d be a lot of balls for just one guy to juggle!

Bard: I’m pulling out my wallet as we speak! And if you need a hand with all those balls, you have to call me up. I’ll take personal responsibility for working on Mr. Joshua. Any other BG East hunks that you’d like to face off against?

Ken: Come to think of it, it’d also be loads of fun playing, “What’s inside your trunks?” with The Enforcer, Magnus, Surge, Cage Thunder, and Muscle Mask. Do you see any kind of theme going on here? Masks sorta’ turn me on… big time!
Bard: You and me both, brother! Any other Ken Canada updates for your fans?

Ken: Just like the eager, underdog jobber in the BG East ring, I’m a man with great ambition! For the past year or so, I’ve been working on a novel – an exciting, suspenseful thriller about the discovery of a cancer cure. I’m also trying to finish up my first feature film script – a romantic dramedy about two brothers. I guess you can call it a “bro-mantic” dramedy”. There aren’t enough brother-bonding films out there. If I were to ask you for one right now, could you name one?

Bard: One that isn’t a homophobic mess? Hmmm… nope!

Ken: I can think of “Fred Claus”, starring Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti. I’m stuck for another, though. Whether by blood or by choice, brother-bonds are important. I have one brother by blood already, but I’ve come to realize that life has come to bless me with a small handful of other brothers, with whom I share a deep-set passion for man-to-man wrestling and more!

Bard: Well this conversation certainly gives me a feeling of strong “Ken-ship” with you! I’ve said it at least twice already, but I have to say it again before we’re done here: you are an inspiration! You’ve been incredibly generous to share your time with me and agree to let me post our interview. I can guarantee that I won’t be alone in being both entertained and inspired by your fantastic journeys in homoerotic wrestling!

Ken: Thanks again, Bard. You’re a proficient, prolific, and talented writer. I’m honored to have been asked for this interview. BG East has been an important part of my adult life. You can’t spell BG East without an “A”…or as I like to say, “an eh!” I love your blog, and I’ll remain a loyal reader/follower for as long as you write it.

Ken Canada – A Classic