Author: wrestlebard

I'm a gay man with an active imagination.

Naked Inspiration

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With so much personal news to share lately, I’ve neglected reflecting on much of the notable eye candy floating in the atmosphere this summer. I thought we’d hit the jackpot in True Blood’s episode 4 of the current season, when both Joe Manganiello and Alexander Skarsgård appeared in modestly videographed nudity.
Joe’s striptease alone required a change of underwear! And speaking of underwear, notice that Alcide doesn’t wear any? Of course you did. Sweet Jesus, this man, in this moment of physical fitness, is perfection. The ever so brief hint of pubic hair as he tugged down his jeans was such a delicious morsel of eroticism for a man already dripping with over the top sexuality.
Joe’s torso shot in the next scene of episode 4 was ripped from the cover of a fitness magazine. How can a thousand homoerotic fantasies fail to be launched at the sight of this 6’5″ specimen of divinity? As is my way, this is the body that appeared first in my homoerotic wrestling imagination in the Werewolf Rumble, facing-off in a 3-way pro wrestling dog fight against Russell Tovey and Taylor Lautner. Taylor ended up screaming a submission with his crotch crushed against a ringpost, and Russell ended up being hoisted over Joe’s shoulder and carried back into the locker room for a victory fuck. That’s what I call a win-win-win scenario!
The briefest glimpse of Joe’s muscled butt crack as Alexander Skarsgård crawls out of the water bending over in front of him made my heart skip a beat. I feared that this season of True Blood may have peaked early in it’s inevitable cresting of homoeroticism.
However, I was wrong. Am I the only one who watches the parental warnings at the beginning of each episode with baited breath? Last week’s episode indicated only “Brief Nudity” was to be seen, and typically a nod to titty-shots of the women. But out of nowhere, two-thirds of the way through the episode, Alcide creeps into his bedroom and quietly peels out of his clothes, trying not to wake his girlfriend. There’s just enough light on the darkened set to make Joe’s expansive upper back and gorgeously round glutes appear in stark relief against the shadowy background. Brightening the pic just a bit (as I’ve done with these pics) probably impinges a bit on the drama, but there’s nothing more compelling than Joe Manganiello’s naked ass!

Holy shit. I’ve said it many times before, and I hope to God to feel the need to say it again: True Blood has the hottest cast ever, and Alan Ball’s obvious delight in stripping them naked for us is nothing short of genius. Joe, in particular, is in such a state of physical perfection that I’m astonished to say that he even blurs my memory a bit of the naked ass shots of such notable beauties as Alexander Skarsgård and Ryan Kwanten. In my homoerotic wrestling imagination, Joe’s first foray into the pro wrestling ring didn’t turn out as well as his first. His tag team with Mechad Brooks suffered from some outside interference and a lot of lustful heart-and-soul from Gerard Butler and the standout, explosive performance of Henry Cavill. I’m thinking that Joe may be done with tag team wrestling, but there’s no way in hell that he’s not going to star in another homoerotic wrestling match in my imagination.

Who do you think Joe ought to wrestle next?

Playing God

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I’ve been thinking about friends and family on the East Coast and hoping that everyone is surviving the aftermath of Hurricane Irene. AH emailed me this morning from his smart phone to let me know that he’s been without power for 24 hours and amusing himself with the mental game of assembling his ideal wrestler’s body from the component parts of many different wrestlers. In honor of AH and everyone mopping up from that messy bitch, Irene, I decided to quickly put together a post playing AH’s game of ordering up my ideal wrestler’s body a la carte.

Turns out, this is one tough game to play! I set out for myself the task of choosing no more than one body part from any one wrestler. Then I went to scouring my mental and literal library of homoerotic wrestling favorites to decide who to deconstruct in order to reconstruct into the assemblage of an over the top, made to order homoerotic wrestling god. I spun my wheels for quite a while getting a start on this project. There are so many wrestlers who I think of as possessing physical perfection, but many of them don’t necessarily possess the perfect singular body part divorced from the rest. But body part by body part, this is what I came up with:

For some reason, it worked for me to start from the bottom and work my way up my mad scientist construction of the ideal wrestling body. My Frankenstein’s monster of physical wrestling perfection has Troy Baker’s legs. Troy was in the running for nearly every body part, frankly, but it was Troy’s own love his legs that made me single them out for this recipe.  Thick and hard without a whisper of body fat, Troy’s legs were simply perfection, as far as I’m concerned. When he had Nick Archer’s noggin’ trapped between his crushing thighs, Troy looked like he was just about to cum with delight in the overpowering beauty of his dominating power. Though Troy did not literally cum in that moment, I’m certain that I’m not alone when I say that I certainly did, and have repeatedly, in worshipful lust for Troy’s unbelievable legs.

Hanging between my assembled wrestling’s god’s ripped thighs is Brian Maxon’s cock and balls. Between you and me, Brian Maxon’s wrestling usually left me a little uninspired. His cock, however, once unsheathed and getting worshipped by the loser he conquered on the mats, was pretty nearly my impression of phallic perfection. There are most certainly longer wrestling cocks, and a few thicker, but Brian’s cock was a perfectly proportioned monster that demanded to be be worshipped.

Spin my cut-n-paste wrestling god around and you’ll get a sight of the most gorgeous homoerotic wrestling glutes on the planet, which actually belong and fit so beautifully on the body of  Kid Karisma. Quite literally, I’ve put in a pitch for a wrestler spotlight DVD that stars Kid K’s ass, specifically. Somewhere (I can’t put my finger on the text at the moment… I think Joe wrote it), I saw Kid K described as a Tom of Finland drawing come to life. It’s the ass that makes that statement 110% true (see recent posts regarding my mathematical shortcomings).

Allowing our eyes to wander upward from Kid K’s perfect ass, we would find on my assembly of a made-to-order wrestling god the back of Brett Mycles. A thickly muscled back is a thing of wonder. I’ve seen some inspiring pec frottage, but I’m still looking for a scene of a wrestler working out an ecstatic explosion in the deep cravasse between the mountainous bulges of a muscled back like Brett’s. The aesthetics of a narrow, corded lower back beneath an astonishingly wide and contoured lat spread capped off by thick delt and trap muscles is just about the most beautiful thing in the world, I think.

Again, let’s spin my wrestling creation around now to take a look at the front, where he’s sporting Rafe Sanchez’ abdominal muscles. I’ve ranted a bit before (perhaps unfairly) about comments in a discussion group that referred disparagingly to Rafe’s body as “not the best.” I couldn’t disagree more, not in total, and most certainly not when it comes to the marble sculpture that are his abdominals and obliques. Add a cup of water and a squirt of detergent and I swear to you it would require not more than three passes to get your laundry clean on that washboard! The separation between each scale of that armor is superhuman. I’d want no one else’s ripped to shreds core on my wrestling god assemblage.

As our eyes wander upward from Rafe’s rocking abs, we’ll see the luscious pecs of Darius. Choosing whose pecs to add to my homoerotic wrestling god was perhaps the most difficult selection of all. If I hadn’t already cannibalized Troy Baker’s legs, his pecs very well could’ve beat out Darius’. As it is though, it’s Darius’ monster pecs that made the shortlist. Hot. Damn.

Shoulders were another tough call for me, but I decided that my homoerotic wrestling god of my own creation will have Wade Cutler’s delts. The mountainous, angular boulders that were Wade’s shoulders always completely captivated me, and they still do today as I treasure the moments where Wade shows up in my library of homoerotic wrestling. Massive, wide, veiny shoulders are intensely erotic, not to mention damn useful in a fierce wrestling contest. My wrestling god compilation sports the best shoulders I could think of.

Again, arms were difficult to select, owing to the deep field of worthy applicants. I’m giving a nod to rookie beauty, Thiago Diaz, however, because his arms are stunning.  With arms it’s certainly not all about size. Shape, proportion, balance and definition speak to me more when it comes to arms than blunt size. Thiago’s bulging biceps and massively thick forearms are entirely worthy additions to the wrestling god of my creation.

Finally, capping off the physical perfection of my wrestling god creation is the devastatingly handsome face of Brad Rochelle. Brad was in a barnburner of a race against exactly one other gorgeously handsome homoerotic wrestling hunk to lend his face to my creation. It was the cleft chin that just 5 seconds ago made me select Brad’s perfect visage.

Of course, this ideal homoerotic wrestling body I’ve just created requires some extensive smoothing and adjusting to match up size, complexion, and proportion. And I’m already thinking that, while this fits my “Muscle Worshipper” type that I scored highest on in yesterday’s quiz from Manof1000Holds, an equally perfect body would be made of entirely different parts to construct my idea of perfection when it comes to a pretty boy (okay, some of the same parts would certainly apply), or a bad boy.

Excellent exercise, AH! I hope you’re managing to keep yourself entertained as you wait for the power to come back on. So whose parts would comprise your ideal homoerotic wrestler?

Diverse Tastes – Guest Contributor Manof1000Holds at Wrestling Arsenal

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As summer begins to wind down, so does neverland’s summer series, “Diverse Tastes.” I won’t say that I’ve saved the best for last, because each and every guest contribution has been fantastic. But I’ve definitely saved the most interactive guest contribution for last. Manof1000Holds at Wrestling Arsenal has been entertaining, informing, and arousing gay wrestling fans for years. He has a delightful knack for deconstructing wrestling action, hold by hold and moment by moment, and examining all the pieces with the humor and insight of a passionate fan of the homoeroticism of wrestling. His archives are the definitive collection of gay wrestling analysis, as far as I’m concerned. So when Manof1000Holds authored this contribution to our summer series, I wasn’t surprised at all that he took the topic in his own unique direction, assembling and interactive quiz that draws from decades of pro wrestling inspiration. So pull out pen and paper, appreciate the wit and wisdom of Manof1000Holds, and perhaps gain a little more insight into your own homoerotic wrestling tastes.
———————
What’s Your Wrestling Personality Type 
by Manof1000Holds at Wrestling Arsenal 

We’ve learned from Bard’s series on Diverse Tastes this summer that there are all kinds of wrestling fans with a wide range of tastes. So what do a fan boy’s preferences and attractions tell us about him as a person? Can we gauge someone’s personality based on the sort of wrestler he prefers? Pro wrestling, after all, is just a reflection of our own fantasies, prejudices, hang-ups, and desires. Each wrestler’s persona is carefully crafted to excite, anger, arouse, attract, or outrage as many viewers as possible, so your response to a specific wrestler is based on your unique internal wiring.

So let’s conclude the “Diverse Tastes” series by seeing what a person’s favorite type of wrestler reveals about their personality. Below is a personality test that delves into your very soul as a wrestling fan, probing into your diverse tastes and darkest desires, to help you learn about what makes you tick.

To take this quiz, number your answer sheet from 1 to 20. Below you will see 20 sets of pictures. For each set, select the wrestler or tag team that appeals to you the most and enter the letter under that photo (A, B, or C) onto your answer sheet. Don’t over-think your choice — go with your gut. Ask yourself: Which wrestler drew my immediate interest? If the wrestlers were in the ring, which one would I focus on or stare at the most? Or ask yourself, if the group suddenly appeared in your living room and offered you one match, who would you choose as your opponent? (Sorry fans of Two-on-One torture — only one selection per group is allowed!)

After you’ve made your 20 selections, click on the Results link below for a customized assessment of your personality. Let’s begin…

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Thanks for taking the quiz, now check out the Results.

Bard’s Pilgrim Way – Post Script

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My time at the BG East compound will go down as my favorite afternoon playing hooky from work… ever. I enjoyed several hours hanging out with Kid Leopard and the boys who came and went.  In fact, I heard more than I’m allowed to tell you about. I was sworn to secrecy about much of what I heard, and when I promise Kid Leopard, Kid Vicious, and Jonny Firestorm that I won’t talk, damn well better believe my lips are sealed (though it might be worth it to be punished by any/all of them!).
If these guys swore you to secrecy, what would you do?
However, there are a couple of scoops that I was expressly given permission to divulge. One scoop is already out of the bag, really. The next catalog is just about ready to be released. Since there are already some preview pics up in the Arena for two DVDs, this won’t be earth shattering news for many. I did have an opportunity to look at preview photos for all of the matches for the upcoming catalog, and all I can say (under pain of a three-way beating), is that it’s an incredibly hot line up!
One of my perennial favorites Mitch Colby climbs back in the ring,
pitting muscle against muscle in soon-to-be released Florida Fights 3.
Muscle beast Dev Michaels digs deep in his ring debut
against long-haired rookie, lightweight Lucky(!?) Loko – BG East Catch Weight 4.
The second scoop I was expressly given permission to divulge is perhaps more satisfying: we’ve not seen the last of Brad Rochelle! Yes, I was promised that the saga of Brad Rochelle’s “Contract” with BG East has continued to unfold on camera, and we will see what has become of the babyface-turned-heel in due time.  I got no hints as to how things shook out for Brad. No idea if he’s made peace and joined the pantheon of BG East’s undisputed bad boys, or if the Boss managed to give Brad just enough rope to finally hang himself with it. But Brad’s fans can get their hearts a-pumpin’ with the assurance that they’ll see and hear more from the jobber-turned-heel hunk who so many of us have followed with a singular, fanatical passion for the past 18 years!
We haven’t seen the last of Brad!

Bard’s Pilgrim Way – Journey’s End (Final Chapter)

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My physical journey to the BG East compound was, as I’ve noted, a metaphysical experience. I was seeing each corner, each venue of quintessentially BG East wrestling through both my physical eyes as well as my mind’s eye, in which my favorite homoerotic wrestlers perpetually strip down, square off, and stroke my wrestling kink so satisfyingly. But even more rewarding than paying homage to the BG East wrestling ring was the opportunity I had to meet “the boys.”

Inspiration hanging in the workspace of some of the back-office BG East boys.
When the Boss told me that “some of the boys” often stop by for lunch in the summer, I didn’t really know who he was referring to. Turns out, the local boys who treat the BG East compound as a second home include some of the most prolific and talented wrestlers that I admire and lust after.

Heel Extraordinaire: Kid Vicious
When Kid Vicious strolled in, I think my jaw dropped (not sure… I was a little numb). I’ve mentioned before on this blog how KV has a knack for serving as my avatar in a wrestling match. He addresses precisely the punishment that his hot opponents simply must experience, as far as I’m concerned. He moves, he touches, he pounds and strokes to a rhythm that my own wrestling kink core is perfectly in sync with. He embodies a lust for domination that is as irrepressible as it is powerfully arousing to watch. And there he stood, grabbing lunch and chatting about the weather.

Kid Vicious looking precisely like Kid Vicious
For some reason, I was surprised that Kid Vicious looked like… well, Kid Vicious! He was fit, tall, and every bit as intensely handsome as he is in trunks and boots (or out of them!) and climbing into the ring. I guess I’d expected that my relationship with the on-camera character of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers would be inherently distorting… that if I just met KV on the street (or sitting down over lunch), I might not even recognize him without some poor jobber’s noggin’ trapped in his headlock or without him delivering his signature brand of humiliation like a nasty face-beating with his impressive cock. But when it came right down to it, I’d have picked him out any crowd. And I was completely star-struck.

Lean and Ripped Jonny Firestorm
When Jonny Firestorm slipped in and grabbed some lunch a few moments later, I was similarly struck. My homoerotic wrestler of month for this past June, Jonny’s attitude and wrestling chops are powerfully entertaining. And again, he looked astonishingly like I’d expect Jonny Firestorm to look! Hot as hell with a thick Boston accent. The one thing about Jonny that took me by surprise, however, was his forearms. Have you ever noticed Jonny’s forearms? Good god, man, they’d make Popeye’s arms look like beanpoles! I had to consciously force myself not to stare, because damn… those arms!…

Big and Beefy and Perfectly Jonny
“So tell us, Bard,” the Boss said in a lull in the conversation over lunch, “which Jonny do you prefer? Big and beefy Jonny, or lean and ripped Jonny?” Everyone chuckled. It’s a topic I’ve seen belabored at length in the BG East yahoo group, with passionate loyalties expressed for different opinions. I pointed out that when I chose Jonny to be homoerotic wrestler of the month a couple of months ago, I’d gone on the record as selecting all of the above as entirely appreciable. My ego inflated a bit as a result of my deft skill in either dodging the question or just flattering Jonny (let’s face it, both, but I’m entirely serious that he’s perfectly Jonny at any size). Then my ego deflated a bit when Jonny indicated that he had no idea that he’d enjoyed a month’s reign as this blog’s homoerotic wrestler of the month.  Then I stared as his forearms in awe some more, and lost track of the conversation for a while.

Kid Leopard, Kid Vicious & Jonny Firestorm pose ringside for me…
best…. day… EVER!
In addition to my brushes with fame meeting Jonny, KV, and the Boss himself, I have to report that it was a thorough delight to meet some of the behind-the-scenes BG East boys. The cameramen, the video techs, the customer service reps… everyone impressed me as not just hospitable (they were that), but every last one of them genuinely seemed to live and breathe wrestling. “They” are “us,” for lack of a better way to put it, and for some reason, this was an epiphany for me. They boys editing tape, burning CD’s, filling orders and dropping off envelopes of wrestling kink gold at the post office are guys who get it. They respect their audience. They enjoy their work. And they’ve all been there, wrestling, watching, critiquing and appreciating the very same things that you and I love to let turn us on. Just like I’d recognize KV and Jonny Firestorm anywhere, I had a strong impression that I recognized in all of the boys of BG East the heart and soul of guys seriously into wrestling.

Wrestling inspiration fills every inch of wall space over the desk of one of the BG East boys
In the end, what I took home with me from my pilgrim’s journey to all things BG East this summer was just that: what makes BG East so authentically BG East isn’t the venues. It’s not even that holy of holies: the BG East wrestling ring. The decades of BG East entertainment that never fails to grab my kink with both hands isn’t about a particular place or device or story. It’s BG East because there are a whole cadre of wrestlers who take pride in producing high quality wrestling for a gay wrestling audience. There’s an authenticity about them from the ground up, and I was moved by the sincerity and humor and generosity of the boys well beyond how exciting it was to see the venues.

The Library of Congress of Homoerotic Wrestling Treasures!
It’s not smoke and mirrors. The boys of BG East aren’t talking out of both sides of their mouths. They aren’t secretly contemptuous of the very audience that they market to, and frankly, I’m not always sure I can say that about all of the homoerotic wrestling productions out there. As impressed as I was by the titillating thrill of seeing “the” gazebo, walking in “the” backyard, standing right next to “the” ring, what impressed me most in my journey this summer was meeting some good natured, hardworking, intensely sincere guys who seriously appreciate wrestling every bit as much as you and I do.

Bard’s Pilgrim Way – Journey’s End (Part 2)

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A prominent piece in the BG East collection of wrestling art and memorabilia.
My pilgrimage to the BG East compound was nothing if not a spiritual experience! Having toured the grounds and been awed at the sight of the outdoor settings in which some of my favorite homoerotic wrestling inspiration has been taped, the Boss led me back inside to continue the tour.
I was conscious of a sudden spike in my arousal. I’d never thought about it before, but there’s something about the interior BG East matches that stroke my wrestling kink more powerfully than just about anything else. Downstairs, we walked past the home gym that I’ve seen many times before in the prelude to so many BG East matches. No one was working out that day, but in that library of homoerotic wrestling I treasure in my mind’s eye, I could see golden boy Troy Baker at the pec deck, muscle bruiser Jed Jamison doing bicep curls, bilingual Chris Bruce pumping out incline presses.
Alexi Adamov talks trash as Christopher Bruce pumps iron in
BG East’s Mat Hunks 8
When Kid Leopard led me into the matroom, I experienced another spike in my homoerotic wrestling arousal. I’ve enjoyed watching so much powerfully sexy wrestling inside those 4 grey walls. It struck me that it’s a bigger space than it seems on camera. Even still, picturing two sweaty wrestlers throwing each other around with a cameraman trying to stay out of the way (while capturing the perfect angle on the action), made me appreciate both the artistry and mechanical expertise of the BG East mat matches that much more. It was just a few weeks ago I was renewing my arousing fascination with Skrapper, watching his rude awakening  at the hands (and legs and lips) of AJ Lyle for Undagear 17 on those very same black mats. I was fascinated staring at the wall just to the right of the door, where rookie Randy Stanton momentarily clawed Joshua Goodman’s pecs (that’s Mr. Joshua Goodman’s pecs to you!), until the pendulously hung muscle stud screamed.
Rookie Randy Stanton makes Mr. Joshua scream in the
mat room for BG East’s Matmen 21
It was the journey upstairs, however, that made my heart beat the fastest. Climbing the spiral staircase (you’ve seen it), we reached the door to what felt to me like the holy of holies: the BG East pro wrestling ring.

Rock hard Brad Rochelle uses every inch of the BG East ring
to humiliate jobber Patrick Donovan in BG East’s Wrestlefest 2
I was stunned by how familiar it was! The wrestling memorabilia all over the walls, the ringside mirror, the iconic wrestling ring tucked tightly into the corner. So much of my homoerotic wrestling inspiration set in this space made visions literally appear in front of my eyes… of sweat-soaked Brad Rochelle squeezing lean Patrick Donovan’s head between his rock hard thighs while the jobber suffered helplessly tied in the ropes… of towering Mitch Colby in a Mexican Ceiling Hold, suspended so gorgeously and vulnerably in the air by ripped heel Cole Cassidy… and merciless Kid Leopard himself, standing there right next to me, but simultaneously there inside the ring with his arm locked across Wade Cutler’s throat as the stripped muscle hunk obediently jerked off for KL’s pleasure.
“The Professor Winthrop Fitzgerald Arena
James McCartin, Builder 1993
Kid Leopard, Proprietor”
The Boss pointed out the plaque on the outside of the ring post facing the door. I’ve seen the ring a thousand times (at least), but never noticed the plaque before: The Professor Winthrop Fitzgerald Arena.  “Professor Winthrop Fitzgerald designed the ring. He also appeared…” I finished the sentence at the same time the Boss did, “… in Live at Campus!” The professor was Scott Rogers’ “manager and mentor,” appearing as his corner man in Roger’s unsuccessful title match against Kid Leopard himself. The Boss told me that the professor once hosted gatherings of wrestlers at his own Florida compound.

A recent addition to the extensive wrestling art collection in
the ring room and throughout the BG East compound
The Boss pointed some more choice, up close details of the ring room. The extensive collection of wrestling art throughout the entire BG East compound includes some wonderful works ringside. He pointed out the cabinet in the corner that we almost never see, with notebooks full of details on BG East wrestlers, including their signature moves and training goals. There was the clock on the wall, a piece of wrestling memorabilia itself, which didn’t actually work any longer, which resulted in many a wrestling session going longer than anticipated as everyone lost track of time.

Pro wrestling collectibles lining the walls of the BG East ring room
I was standing at the altar of my homoerotic wrestling kink, an awed pilgrim soaking it in. I associate the BG East wrestling ring with some of my most ecstatic, intimate, private moments, so to be standing there in the light of day next to Kid Leopard himself left me feeling almost raw.  I’d traveled a long way from home to find myself journeying deep within myself, treasuring that library of homoerotic wrestling inspiration that emerged from this very spot.

Bard’s Pilgrim Way – Journey’s End (Part 1)

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As many of you anticipated, my pilgrimage to all things BG East in Boston would not have been complete without a visit to the temple mount itself, the center of my homoerotic wrestling universe, the BG East compound outside of Boston. When I made inquiries about the possibility of paying a visit to BG East, the response was generous and welcoming. I was invited to come by and meet “the boys” and see where the genius of BG East is conjured.


Stained glass homage to wrestling over the desk of BG East Boss, Kid Leopard

Pulling into the driveway of BG East central, I was bewildered a bit by the sense that I was seeing it, simultaneously, through two different lenses. I’d never been there before. If I hadn’t known better, I’d never have picked the compound out as anything unusual in the tidy lakeside neighborhood. But at the same time, it was as if I’d been here a thousand times before. Hell, just a couple months ago I was watching muscle punk Kieran Dunne drive up this very same driveway, park his car not 10 feet from where I parked mine, and strut with his characteristic overconfidence inside to face devastatingly pretty Chace LaChance in Jobberpalooza 11. It felt a little like a homecoming to a place I’d never been before.


Keiran Dunne flexes while Chace LaChance is all business in
BG East’s Jobberpalooza 11
Greeting me at the door was the Boss himself, extending a hearty handshake and a welcoming smile as he invited me inside. Again, the experience of double-vision was disorienting. Although I’ve exchanged emails with Kid Leopard, we’d never met in person. But he was so familiar! I knew his tone of voice, his wry sense of humor, and his commanding presence. Just a couple of days earlier, I was enjoying myself watching this man shock hunky Wade Cutler, beating the living shit out of muscle jobber Wade and leaving him soaked in cum in the middle of the ring in Hunkbash 2. And then there he stood, shaking my hand and welcoming me to BG East.

Kid Leopard before his Hunkbash 2 match against Wade Cutler
“So do you want to see the place?” he asked, as if reading my mind. Having come so far, I was desperate to soak in the site of so much homoerotic wrestling inspiration. He took me through to the back of the compound, overlooking the lake… you know, that lake. The lake that Brad Rochelle sunbathed next to after his epic heel turn in Contract 6. That lake in which Troy Baker viciously attacked his big brother, Brian, in search of vengeance for Brian’s betrayal at the end of their humiliating defeat in Tag Team Torture 3.

Troy Baker gets worked over by big brother Brian in BG East Grudge Match 2.
“Over here is the gazebo,” the Boss directed my attention to a shady spot in the woods. It was empty, seeming like a random, anonymous bit of architecture set beneath the towering trees surrounding it. But I couldn’t help but picture the sweat-soaked bodies of so many Gazebo Grapplers struggling underneath that roof: perennial favorite Mitch crushing babyface beauty Alexi, relentless Jonny wringing handsome Sandro’s sweetly suffering body between the railings, the whole bevy of testosterone-fueled hunks wrestling in a ferocious round-robin in Gazebo Grapplers 4.

Kid Leopard showing me the site of Gazebo Grappling fame
And then there was the backyard, lush and green beneath the trees. Yep, that backyard. There were no wrestling mats on the lawn that day, but I swear I could see wrestle stud Denny Cartier locked across ripped rookie Attila Dynasty’s back, applying that nasty abdominal stretch and pounding the ripped muscle stud’s vulnerable core in Backyard Brawls 7. The same backyard where fearless Alexi took on lottery winners TJ Tanner, Christian Taylor, and bubble-butted Sandro back-to-back in Who’s Next?!

Sweat-soaked Alexi in complete control of the backyard in
BG East’s Who’s Next!?
And down a path through the woods, the Boss pointed out the Wrestle Shack. “It’s full of yard equipment at the moment,” he explained, but he’s planning on having the boys clean it out to tape some new matches soon. Images flashed across my vision, of Gil Barrios dragging outmuscled Jerry Connors into the Wrestle Shack to strip naked and finish off the rookie humiliation, and of Lance Jeffers’ mammoth cock bludgeoning Shon Tracey’s awestruck face.

Gil Barrios uses the Wrestle Shack rafters for leverage in punishing rookie
Jerry Connors in Backyard Brawls 7
I’m sure I said it about 3 dozen times that day, but I stumbled over my own words, thanking the Boss profusely for his hospitality. I’d thought about this pilgrimage for weeks, what I’d say, what I’d ask. I’d spent a lot of time preparing. I’d hoped to present myself as cool and savvy, worthy of initiation into the behind the scenes mysteries of an average day at BG East. But my mind was blank except for my lame, awestruck words of gratitude. The Boss briefly indulged my babbling good-naturedly, but when he suggested we continue the tour, I fell silent, and followed him back inside….

Diverse Tastes – Guest Contributor Cage Thunder

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While there are a lot of us armchair homoerotic wrestling bloggers, I’m the first to tip my hat to a blogger like Cage Thunder, who not only writes eloquently about his tastes and twists in wrestling kink, he’s also an all-in wrestler on camera for BG East. Through a series of correspondence between me and Cage Thunder, I will dare to reveal one thing that I’ve learned about the mysterious masked heel: he’s a class act. He has a delightful sense of humor that goes well beyond his gloating, clucking delight in humiliating one all-too-pretty pretty boy after another. He also has a remarkable depth to him that leads him to contemplate the alchemy of homoerotic wrestling kink with a fervor and meticulousness that very well may surpass even my own. So when Cage Thunder agreed to give me his take on the topic of “Diverse Tastes” as part of neverland’s summer series of guest contributors, I was deeply honored. So sit back and learn from a master who knows his wrestling kink from inside out and every angle a delightfully twisted wrestling mind and body can imagine.
The Turning Point
by Cage Thunder
BG East’s Cage Thunder

There is a certain moment in every pro wrestling match that, without fail, always grabs my attention. This moment never fails to get my attention and always make my dick stand up at attention.

I call this moment the turning point.

Bulldog Barzini savors the sight of Denny Cartier
reaching “the turning point” – BG East’s Fantasymen 28

A turning point is exactly what it sounds like—that definitive moment when you know that one of the wrestlers is finished— even if he isn’t being pinned or counted out or giving in a submission, and the match might go on for a while longer (and usually does). But that’s the moment when you know for certain who the stud is who’s going to have his arms raised in complete victory at the end of the match (or fall, if it’s a best-of situation).

I love that moment.

Muscle heel Kid Karisma drags muscle twink Christian Taylor
beyond the turning point – BG East’s Wet &  Wild 5

When I was growing up, professional wrestling was my porn. It still is, to a degree—only I rarely watch it on television, I satisfy my fetish with videos these days—but when I was a kid, it was a world I desperately wanted to be a part of. I greatly enjoyed the morality plays of pro wrestling matches, the struggle between good and evil, hero versus villain, rule-breaking versus following the rules. And like life, good didn’t always triumph over evil.

Cage Thunder soaks in the sight of his handiwork –
BG East’s Masked Mayhem 6

But professional wrestling was also one of the very few places on television in those days where you could see scantily dressed men sweating and heaving, clinching and coming apart, entwining their bodies in an almost erotic dance. And while I always wanted the nasty heels to be punished for their dastardly ways, I also loved watching the gorgeous ones suffer at their hands. With the advent of cable television and Ted Turner taking WTBS national into a self-styled Super Station, every Saturday afternoon from three to five p.m. Pacific times Georgia Championship Wrestling aired—and I fell in lust with a gorgeously built mullet-wearing muscle boy named Brad Armstrong.

The muscles and the mullet – Brad Armstrong
Oh, that ass. If I hadn’t already known I was gay, Brad Armstrong’s tight trunks clinging ever so tenaciously to those perfectly formed buttocks certainly would have done the trick.
Brad Armstrong’s inspiring ass in trouble
Brad was a good wrestler—a fan favorite, obviously, with his athletic ability, sexy body, and ‘aw shucks’ attitude. But he lost his matches more frequently than he won them—and week after week, I slowly came to realize that what was really turning my crank and getting my dick hard was watching some nasty ass heel put him through the wringer—watching him suffer on the mat, one foot bouncing up and down as his back arched and that ass, that oh-so-perfect ass, with his trunks creeping up bit by bit, up in the air.

Brad’s trunks creeping up his ass as he suffers humiliatingly in the ropes

And I also came to the conclusion that I preferred watching Brad suffer rather than being dominant in a match—which made me stop and think.

Brad Armstrong where he did his best work: on his back,
feet pointed at the ceiling, and his opponent copping a feel of that rocking ass!

And I realized the truth is I wanted to fuck him—in other words, I wanted to dominate him and make him submissive to me. I wanted to beat him down, make him call me sir, and when that hard muscle ass arched up in the air, I wanted to reach down and peel those green trunks off him, lube up my cock, and ride him while he bucked and writhed and moaned.

And called me “sir.”

I’m frequently accused of being a ‘body fascist,’ and nothing could be further from the truth. I actually like all kinds of men, in all shapes and sizes—what I am actually attracted to, more than anything else, is a particular attitude that a lot of wrestlers seem to have. (This is why I generally don’t give a shit about watching gay porn—very few gay porn stars have that ‘certain something special’ that gets my dick hard, and let’s face it—if you’ve seen one fuck scene, you’ve pretty much seen them all. Ty Lebeouf is a gay porn star who is one of the exceptions—and he is exceptional, although I’d much rather watch him climb in the ring.) A wrestler can have the most gorgeous body you’ve ever seen, and a huge bulge in the front of his trunks—but if the attitude I like isn’t there, he just leaves me cold. (I won’t give examples, out of respect.)

Porn star Ty Lebeouf: Ready to Wrestle?

The wrestlers I like—the ones that make me open my wallet and spend my hard-earned money buying their videos—have that attitude. It’s not something that’s quantifiable or definable; someone either has it or they don’t. And there really isn’t a rhyme or reason to my attraction to them. They can be a muscle twink, like Christian Taylor, or a hot little muscle heel like Kid Karisma, or a stocky brute like Bulldog Barzini, or a beautiful babyface who has crazy mad ring skills but always loses—like Alexi Adamov.

Cage Thunder revels in dragging babyface Alexi Adamov
well past “the turning point” – BG East’s Masked Mayhem 2

I like heels because the only way someone can ever fuck me is if they dominate me. And I do like being dominated. I like being forced to submit, I like being forced to scream out a submission or call my foe “sir”—and if he can beat me down that way, I’m his for the taking and he can do with me as he pleases. The thought of being worked over like that by a Bob Orton or a Stan Hansen or any number of studly heels who might not have the body beautiful you’d see on the cover of a gay porn magazine turns me on as much as the thought of beating down some beautiful babyface/jobber does.

A heel who could have made Cage Thunder cry, “Sir!”

For me, that’s the answer to why people enjoy seeing pretty muscle boys just get the shit kicked out of them. Because we want to dominate them, we want to fuck them, and the wrestling match we are watching is a kind of pornographic dance of domination and submission.

Cage Thunder has his way with a puddle-on-the-mat, Jobe Zander –
BG East’s Masked Mayhem 8

And I love, love, LOVE the turning point—when the heel begins to simply toy with his opponent for our viewing pleasure.

Cage Thunder conquers, strips, and toys with Lobolito –
BG East Masked Mayhem 3

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a DVD to watch.

——————
Now, aren’t we all dying to know what gorgeous-bodied and huge-bulged wrestlers leave Cage Thunder limp!? Like I said, however, he’s a class act who isn’t one to crush-and-tell. For this fantastic glimpse into precisely the moment, the attitude, and the acts of domination that make his dick stand up at attention, neverland is honored to have guest contributor Cage Thunder push the pause button and share his thoughts with us!

Rookie Delight

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For quite a while, I was harping relentlessly around here about the problems of overexposure and recycling across the homoerotic wrestling industry. It seemed like every month there were multiple releases from competing producers featuring the same wrestlers, sometimes even facing the same opponents! While the phenomenon of migration from company to company has continued, it seems to me to be less in our faces lately. And I’m always delighted by the debut of new rookies. Thankfully, there’s been a lot of fresh meat on camera lately making my mouth water.

Naked Kombat rookie: Ethan Hudson
Case in point: yesterday’s new release from Naked Kombat introducing me to the big, big boy from Chicago, Ethan Hudson. Ethan debuts for NK against a veteran buzzsaw in Tyler Saint. Tyler is a freak of nature.  I swear he’s got to be a cyborg sent from the future to crush and destroy all pornboys who get the way of his mission to capture and enslave my cock. This man has more squared edges than a cheap Ikea coffee table. He’s hard as a rock with a center of gravity that appears to hover somewhere around his ankles. I’ve seen Tyler in action several times before, and yet again, the sight of him made me gasp when I saw him yesterday, looking every bit like the love child of Arnold and Dolph, square off against baby bull rookie Ethan.
Tyler Saint – Sent from the future to capture Bard’s cock.
From a distance, I didn’t peg Ethan as a wrestler who’d really capture my attention, particularly not standing inches away from the likes of the GMO that is Tyler Saint. But damn it all if I wasn’t completely taken in by the seriously hefty slice of beef that is NK rookie Ethan Hudson.
Tyler Saint locks up with rookie Ethan Hudson – Naked Kombat 8-17-11
He’s not pretty. He’s not exactly handsome (again, particularly not next to the inhumanly square jaw and blond buzz cut of Tyler). Ethan sports astonishing thickness, particularly his torso… and his legs… and his arms… and his neck…, but he doesn’t have the classic proportions and lines that (I’m not ashamed to say it) frequently speak to me. But whatever is that he’s not, there’s one thing that he is, without question: turning me on!
Ethan gets his ass handed to him by Tyler (and this being NK, I mean that literally). But for a big boy rookie, Ethan clocks in an incredibly intense 3 rounds of ferocious grappling. If he were fighting anyone other than a cyborg, he’d have crushed him like a grape, I have to think. But even clearly outmatched, Ethan’s performance is amazing. He spends way too much time riding Tyler’s back. Now, normally I wouldn’t suggest that riding your opponent’s back could be overdone, but in this case, it gets Ethan exactly nowhere. With his incredibly thick legs wrapped around Tyler’s waist, Ethan valiantly twists and bucks and yanks on his opponent to force him off his hands and knees and take him to the mat. But this is Arnold’s mini-me we’re talking about. All of those gymnastics happening on his back seem to go completely unnoticed by Tyler. It’s like the man is made out of lead! And unfortunately, Ethan seems to not have a deep arsenal to draw from to try a different tack.
But it’s incredibly entertaining and deeply arousing to watch the rookie never say die from start to finish! It’s like watching him drive his head into a brick wall over and over again. At some point, you figure he’s got to just stop and say, “This is fucking impossible!” But he doesn’t, and he doesn’t just roll over and take it from the man-machine fighting him. He just keeps working that astonishingly beautiful bubble butt of his until the end of round 3 when the ref need hardly state the obvious: Tyler wins, and it’s not close.
But the score does not capture the drama, and it particularly doesn’t describe the very finely tuned wrestling kink that Ethan strums inside of me.  My fervent prayer is that someone gives this fearless baby bull some formal training, and then they toss him back onto the mat with a mere mortal this time. I predict he could seriously fuck up some cocky, ripped hunk who may have grown a little complacent and taken for granted his incredibly loyal fan base.  I’m just saying… there’s a homoerotic wresting pornboy favorite who’s failed to fully hold my attention lately, and some fresh, fierce, solid as a rock rookie could very easily score an upset both on the mats and in my rankings.
Welcome to the homoerotic wrestling family, Ethan! It’s truly my pleasure to make your acquaintance!

Diverse Tastes – Guest Contributor Metellus

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All of the guest contributors for our running summer series “Diverse Tastes” fall into my category of delightful collaborators: clever, savvy, unconventional and creative fans of wrestling who know what they like and enjoy the adventure of hunting it down with their bare hands. Today’s guest contributor, Metellus, is a prime example of what I’m talking about. Metellus contacted me quite a while ago about his appreciation for my Secretarial Pool auditions in my fictional homoerotic wrestling universe, the Producer’s Ring. But Metellus is no back-seat driver. His own hot, kinked, wrestling imagination kicked into high gear. About every third sentence in an email from Metellus starts with the words, “What if….” And that yearning to explore the next idea for a wrestling fantasy, in my opinion, is the heart of the very best of homoerotic wrestling.  The most recent match in the Secretarial Pool (“Global Cooperation”) is a flat-out collaboration between Metellus and me, with Metellus scouting and recruiting all of the primary characters (models David Gandy, Noah Mills, Mateus Verdelho and Tyler McPeak). He and I also worked together on one of my fondest pieces of BG East fiction in the Sidelineland group, featuring randy wrestling rookie and fashion model Cobus Jonker pulling off a stunning debut against one of BG East’s resident masters of destruction, Enforcer. I love Metellus’ passion for collaboration, for putting his own ideas on the table and then being thrilled with the exercise of molding them, shaping them, tossing them out and starting all over again, in the very provocative enterprise of co-authoring a work of homoerotic wrestling fiction. Watch for more collaborations from us in the future, and in the mean time, enjoy Metellus’ take on the topic of Diverse Tastes, in which he explores some key examples of both who it is and what it is that they do to rise to the top of his wrestling kink favorites.

“Muscles at Work”
by Metellus
TNA’s Brutus Magnus – Handsome, lean muscles, versatile

I have always been a fan of wrestling. I like them from all angles, pro, indie or underground video companies like BG East. I am not quite sure what exactly is it that I like about wrestling, so I am hoping to take this opportunity to talk about some of my favorite wrestlers.

Fight Club Finland’s Valentine can give and take punishment

To me, the perfect wrestler has a nice body, not bad to look at and preferably wearing some short wrestling trunks. Like many other readers, I usually enjoy seeing these type of wrestlers in the roles of jobbers. Some of my favorites wrestlers in the pro and indie circuits include Brutus Magnus (TNA wrestling), Valentine (Fight Club Finland) and Hiroshi Yamato (All Japan Pro Wrestling). Their handsome face and lean muscles made them ideal baby faces. These wrestlers can both job for heels but can also be competitive if needed. On top of that, they can suffer really well, and it is a real pleasure to see their muscles at work in the ring. When it comes to wrestlers in companies like BG East and Can-Am wrestling, there may be too many to name. It may take me ages to narrow down my favorites.

Babyface Hiroshi Yamoto works his muscle for Japan Pro Wrestling

I am also a big fan of wrestling stories. They allow me to use my imagination as I try to picture up a slightly different scenario each time I’m reading the same story. I first started reading these type of stories in Bard’s Producer’s Ring, where he threw in a bunch of male models into a mat room while they tried to beat the crap out of each other. To me, male models are the perfect fictional wrestler. I am not a big fan of twinks so I usually prefer those handsome and muscular ones than the high fashion models. But there are always exceptions. Take Noah Mills and David Gandy for example. I wouldn’t call them twinks by any means but they are successful high end fashion models. After a day of modeling work it is not hard to picture them stripping down to their gears and fight one another in a long, hard wrestling battle.

Models David Gandy and Noah Mills –
Starring in the homoerotic wrestling imaginations of Metellus & Bard
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Thanks, Metellus! Your collection of favorites is a fantastic combination of familiar faces as well as entirely new discoveries (at least, new to me!). I’d write a little more about my admiration of Metellus’ impeccable tastes and creativity here, but he’s already sent me an email with an idea for a new piece of homoerotic wrestling fiction. “What if……..”