I believe last week’s Friday Fashion poll was the closest yet! Several times that I checked in on the voting, it was a dead heat between hot ginger hunk Steven Ponce and bronzed fitness model Flavio. But Flavio poured on the heat in the last 24 hours to pull out 54% of the vote and determine, conclusively, that he wore those insanely tight baby blue trunks best!
Flavio’s massive muscles abuse those trunks about as brutally as he abuses lightweight Lorenzo Lowe!
This week, we have two long-time infatuations here at neverland going head-to-head, or, more precisely, trunk-to-trunk. The first 3-time homoerotic wrestler of the month around these parts, Eli Black, showed up for his first match at BG East wearing adorkable white briefs with an ominous comic-book “POW!” screen printed across his gorgeous ass. Talk about POW! The beating Eli took from Morgan Cruise was more a mugging than a match. Little wonder Eli retired those trunks, but none other than long-time overall favorite homoerotic wrestler around here (and only recently deposed) Lon Dumontshowed up in Tag Team Torture 15 wearing the very same trunks, with that very same “POW!” printed across his bodybuilder sculpted glutes. I’m infatuations with both Eli and Lon are well-documented, despite them representing starkly contrasting wrestling styles, personas, and physiques. But the question isn’t which of the two do I like best. The question is which of the two wore IT best? Check them out and vote below.
Eli didn’t know just what was about to hit him in his Gut Bash 9 BG East debut, but all eyes were on that astounding ass of his, nestled snugly in those white trunks. He wore the hell out of them, but did he wear them best?Lon Dumont dug up a newbie to partner with in Tag Team 15, but I think he’d of had his babyface opponent’s reading the writing on his ass singlehandedly if need be. Lon’s outing in those same “POW!” trunks was significantly more successful than Eli’s, but the issue isn’t their win-loss record. The issue is who wore it best?
Lon Dumont doesn’t just look devastatingly pretty, he uses that all natural physique to devastate his competition in the ring, as well!
My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont, has perfectly combined the artistry and science of physique training. Seriously, look at his gorgeous body and you know what I’m talking about. He’s been stunning the judges on stage over the past three years of bodybuilding competitions, just as he’s been using that phenomenal physique to crush the competition in the ring at BG East. Not only was he starring in a new BG East release this month, Last Man Standing, he was also bringing home a sexy, big-assed trophy from his latest bodybuilding competition as well.
Lon shocked and awed in his most recent bodybuilding competition this month. Holy serratus anterior, Batman! This is the definition of definition!
As for me, I’m at least as turned on by Lon’s sell and personality as I am his physical perfection. But I can see why his physique alone generates accolades and trophies. Other BG East wrestlers have also noticed, and happily signed on for some personal training from Lon, transforming their hot muscled bodies into even hotter, harder, and hunkier physical specimens (all the better to dominate!).
Now, you can also benefit from the hardcore training lessons Lon has learned from breaking down and building back up his beautiful body into the work of art it is today. Lon self-publishes “The Natural Physique,” a full color magazine focusing on natural bodybuilding, natural fitness training, and just plain natural health. Of course, I subscribe for the articles (a-hem), but I can imagine that aficionados of sexy bodies would find plenty of eye candy to enjoy. And if you’re interested in healthy eating, exercising, and networking with other natural physique devotees, TNP is a must for your coffee table. Check it out, “like” TNP on FB, and subscribe today!
The Sears Christmas catalog would arrive, and I’d spend countless hours combing through the pages of the toys (and underwear) advertisements, my imagination filled with anticipated delights. I’d make a list for Santa, then comb over the pages again and revise my priorities, guess at the optimal constellation of gifts to produce the maximum pleasure. There was something intoxicating about coveting toys and then coveting the underwear models, back and forth.
That’s the next closest thing to a new BG East catalog. Like Friday’s release of 101. Every page makes my blood pump harder, so much anticipated pleasure. Just the anticipation, the tease of a handful of words and accompanying provocative photos, is such a delight! After the mouthwatering taste, but before the full on consummation, there’s such a sweet spot right here, right now. I cannot wait to consume the promises, but then again, the wait is so, so sweet!
Hunky Muscle Mask gets the Aryx treatment in Masked Mayhem 11.My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont, catches my (and Donnie Drake’s) eye in Last Man Standing.Lorenzo “Jake” Lowe obediently worships the ripped body of Damien Rush in Backyard Brawls 8.My mind is blown, and I suspect my crotch is not far behind, by Jonny’s customizable demolition of Drake Marcos in Custom Combat: Drake’s Drubbing.So many world class bulges between Kid Karisma and Pretty Pete Sharp in Kid Karisma’s Wrestler Spotlight.Lane Hartley makes me gasp just seeing his stills as he picks apart body beautiful Z-Man in Pros in Private 10.KIp Sorell and Jake Jenkins. That’s pretty much all that needed to be said to make me dizzy, much less just a glimpse of the preview pics from Backyard Brawls 8.
What’s the instant frontrunner in the competition for my favorite moment of 2013? My dinner last night with Lon Dumont.
A wrestler and a gentleman.
In real life, Lon looks exactly like he does on camera. He just went in for a haircut a few days ago, so picture his coif from Tag Team Torture 15. He’s right in the thick of bodybuilding competition prep, so incredibly lean, tiny waist, angular facial features, slightly hollow-cheeked from months of extreme dieting. This was his first “re-feed” day in a while, meaning that after enduring on significantly low calories to carve out those hot muscles of his, yesterday was an “anything goes” eat anything and everything in sight day. In fact, by the time we met for dinner, he was looking a little green at the prospect of a full dinner. So he limited himself to a massive hunk of chocolate cake instead.
Me, I was just trying not to quiver with excitement the entire time. Look cool. Don’t say something stupid. Wipe that bit of drool from the corner of your mouth! I had a boatload of questions prepared, alternative lines of conversation plotted in case of awkward silences. However, nearly all of my planning went out the window when he not only reached out and shook my hand, but gave me a generous, firm, smiling hug of a greeting. I was instantly reduced to a gaping, wide-eyed Lon-fanatic, mentally trying to sear into my long-term memory the sensation of his hot bod pressing tightly against mine. Fortunately, my instant amnesia regarding all of the witty conversation points I’d prepared was negligible, because Lon is just so fantastically personable!
Our conversation ranged from wrestling and the people we know in common behind the cameras at BG East to politics to life goals to the minefield of negotiating romantic relationships. Happily, Lon and I appear socio-politically closely aligned, so commiserating about particular assholes in office kept us entertained a while. We discovered several unexpected things in common, like we were both history majors in college, and we’ve both had jobs working with older adults. Sure, there were occasional moments when the conversation dropped off and I found myself grinning like a dumbass, thinking to myself, “I’m sitting here chatting with Lon Dumont, for god’s sake!” But I think he took my star-struck fumbling in stride. Of course, I knew much more to expect about him than he did about me. He confessed that he’d had some moments of wondering what he’d find when he showed up for dinner. I’m happy to report that I was not what he expected, apparently in a good way, and that the potential creepiness of sitting down with your #1 homoerotic wrestling fan for the first time face-to-face was apparently a pleasantly enjoyable surprise for him as well.
Of course, I would have enjoyed milking this momentary brush-with-fame for hours on end, but soon enough the night was clearly starting to wrap up. I finally remembered my agenda, and a little sheepishly asked if he’d consent to give me an autograph. “Sure!” he said in that same big, booming, enthusiastic voice he has in the ring. “How about a few autographs?” I asked, with a hint of pleading in my voice as I pulled out my stack of BG East DVD covers and the choice half a dozen or so photos I was able to whittle down from my favorite hundred of mouthwatering Lon pics. He laughed, and said, “Of course!,” explaining that he hadn’t expected to be giving out autographs on his trip. I gave him my most incredulous look (you know, one eyebrow arched), and told him that he certainly should have expected it! We agreed that being plied for autographs ought to be something he faces everyday.
Having Lon lend his signature to my pics of him was this awesomely intimate moment for me. Showing the object of my infatuation the particular shots, angles, and looks of his that rise to the top of my cherished images felt so fantastically intense! He chuckled and agreed with my choice of a particular shot that’s also one of his favorite images from his BG East work. When he got to the g-g-g-g-g-gorgeous pic of him from behind in Rookie Wreckers, as he’s nearly cutting Morgan Cruise in half with his breath-stealing bodyscissors, Lon laughed out loud. Yep, there’s no disguising precisely why I love that shot: the bulging tricep, that stunningly sculpted back, those beautiful hamstrings flexed like a vice around his suffering opponent… and of course, perfectly centered in this shot, Lon’s hot, flexed glutes!
Lon knows what I like!
The night took a tragic turn right after Lon reminded me that we simply had to get a photo of the two of us with my iphone (as if I’d have to be convinced!). I grabbed my phone, turned the camera to selfie, leaned in for a close up of the two of our grinning faces, and pushed click. And my phone instantly ran out of batteries. Seriously, I was nearly brought to tears. If it hadn’t been too humiliating to weep in front of my #1 homoerotic wrestling infatuation, I’d have been reduced to bawling. Lon suggested that this was certainly proof that if there is a god or gods, they’re cruel bastards. His clear understanding of the magnitude of this tragedy consoled me.
A pleasure to get up close and personal with Lon Dumont!
There’s a reason that Kid Leopard refers to Lon as “one of my favorite people in the world.” Lon is just a delightful guy, smart and thoughtful, kind and generous. Honestly, there’s something almost unsettling about getting to know a bit about the person who has been such a long-time object of lustful infatuation. Knowing what a complex and insightful human being he is almost makes me wonder if I may struggle when it comes to continuing to lustfully objectify him.
Trust me. I’ll cope.
I’ll manage to continue to objectify my favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont, as long as he keeps pumping out works of art like this!
My thanks to those of you that gave me some last minute advice yesterday before I headed to my dinner with Dumont. For those of you who offered suggestions regarding what I should ask him, let me give you the quick answers. He wore a hot, tight, beige, 3-button crew t-shirt that nicely stretched across his shoulders and pecs. I’m pretty sure he was on a carbohydrate-induced high from a day of sucking down food, so although he wasn’t actually drunk on alcohol, I suspect he was riding at least a little sugar-buzz. Like I said, I went with a modest stack of photos and DVD covers for his autograph, and fortunately he was game to sign them all. And Alex Miller, Lon had no words of wisdom about your household sponges, that itch of yours, or your water pressure. Sorry!
I’m hoping to convince Lon to forward some new photos of his rocking hot body as he approaches peak conditioning for his upcoming competitions. And I’ve made him promise that we’re doing this whole thing again next time he comes through this way, and I’m bringing 5 cameras and 2 dozen back-up batteries with me!
I have the unprecedented (for me) opportunity to meet up with one of my favorite (well, currently THE favorite) homoerotic wrestlers who is, at this moment, basically in my back yard. That’s right, my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont, happens to be in my neck of the woods and interested in being treated to dinner by his number 1 fan (i.e. me. Don’t even think of challenging me on this one).
My heart is racing with excited anticipation, of course. Of course I’ve been obsessing about this non-stop. Of course, I’ll report back here how things go, what we talk about, how hot his abs are (surely, I can work into conversation, “show me your abs”!). But there are a few things I’m less certain about.
1. How many photos is one too many photos to bring for autographs?
2. Is it wrong for me to wish that, despite Lon being a teetotaler, that he gets totally messed up drunk (he is in Wisconsin, after all)?
3. What level of specificity about his body can I ask about before crossing a line that I shouldn’t?
4. Given the opportunity to sit down to dinner with your favorite homoerotic wrestler, what would you ask him?
Is it inappropriate to ask him to crush something between his thighs, given that we’ll be eating in a public place?
Let me know what you think (comment by clicking at the top of the post).
It was a battle of brawn and bulges, but one of the brawniest and bulgiest, Brad Barnes, pounded his way to the top of the poll in last week’s Friday Fashion fight. With 44% of the vote (66 votes), neverland readers gave Brad the nod for having worn those baby blue trunks with yellow piping demonstrably better than runner up Tyrell Tomsen (33%, 49 votes), and decisively leaving pro heel Dick Rickand human mountain Joe Robbins far behind in the dust.
Brad and his opponents make that tiny strip of fabric look so good from absolutely every angle!
Today’s Fashion Friday poll asks you to decide who best wore a certain pair of pink trunks with a 2 inch black strip around the waist. Pink is a tough color to pull off in homoerotic wrestling. It can veer one of at least two directions. A babyface rookie in pink is destined to get his pretty pink ass pounded into oblivion. A cocky heel, however, can turn pink (and his opponent) on its head, signaling such cocky confidence that more classic color tropes (e.g., bad guys wear black) mean nothing to a fashion iconoclast and vicious villain. I’ve noted three homoerotic wrestlers who’ve worn this signature style: Lon Dumont and Kid Karisma wearing the square-cut, boxer-brief variation in BG East’s Pec Bash 1 and Sexy Showdown 5, respectively, and Justin LeBeau sporting the low-rise brief version in Can-Am’s Aryx Quinn Triple Play. This look is, arguably, Lon’s signature heel gear at BG East, so you can also see a direct comparison in the same brief-cut that Justin is wearing by (lovingly) studying Lon’s many appearances in the exact same gear. Personally, I love this look. But which of these hot, homoerotic wrestling studs wore it best? Vote below and leave your comments above as to why.
Lon Dumont is pretty (fucking imposing!) in pink.What’s pink and black and a chiseled sculpture of sexy muscle all over? Kid Karisma.Justin LeBeau has the muscles, the baby oil, and the cocky smirk to make pink the new black for a wrestling heel.
I’m entirely on board with the erotic power of a tree of woe. The ToW is an example of how some homoerotic wrestling gems simply require a professional wrestling ring. Hang a hammered hunk upside down in the corner, his knees draped over the top ropes and his feet locked in place beneath the cable connecting the turnbuckle to the post, and there’s all sorts of a hot wrestling gold that’s suddenly ripe for picking. It’s a maneuver that signals total control over a mastered man. The subject of woe is laid out so vulnerably, his body not just on display, but trussed up beautifully for easy access to innovative methods of torture. There’s a little crossover here between bondage kink and wrestling kink, with enough of both to show due respect to all parties involved, as far as I’m concerned. In honor of those of you who harbor a special place in your hearts and crotches for an agonizing, dominating, body manipulating tree of woe (and I hear from you often), this post is for you. Here are 10 ideas for what to do with an opponent once you’ve trapped him in a tree of woe.
Climb on top, knee crushing his balls, and celebratelike Brooklyn Bodywrecker.When finding yourself out-boxed, hang the fucker upside down and peel off his gloves to make this all about homoerotic wrestling, like Brodie Fisher.Grab a dumbbell and bash your opponent’s six-pack abs, like Eli Black.Duck outside the ring and wrench the trapped fucker’s head backward, like Cameron Matthews.Stop on his flowing locks and dare the muscleboy to squirm, like Ethan Andrews.Stand outside the ring and threaten to rip his arms out at the shoulder, like Alex Waters.Make sure his trunks are hooked on the turnbuckle and slipping off, then land a soaring drop kick to the helpless stud’s gut, like Jonny Firestorm.Sit on his face, like the Brooklyn Bodywrecker.Pause and appreciate the view – and feel – like Jarret Cole.That’s right, a Tree of Woe/Bearhug/Headscissors combination, nice and snug in the crushing embrace of Cole Cassidy!
Neverland readers occasionally overestimate my integration within the formal hierarchy of homoerotic wrestling. They ask me to arrange for someone in particular to get an audition with a wrestling producer, or they request that I put in a good word for a particular combination of wrestling opponents to appear in a future match. The truth is, although I write and obsess a lot about homoerotic wrestling, my influence on its production is minimal-to-non-existent. I picture myself more as a part of the press corps, appreciated by a precious few who actually make the news, tolerated by most of the rest of the producers and wrestlers, and despised by a handful of the star players (sometimes for legitimate reasons, I’ll admit). Although I muse incessantly about my own lusts for particular motifs and tag team partners and opponents, I can think of only two instances when I’ve expressed a detailed wish for a future homoerotic wrestling production that actually ended up being produced.
My personal fantasy: Rusty Stevens sits on Mitch Colby’s face.
The first homoerotic wrestling match that seemed to fall like mana from heaven a few months after I wrote about the need to see it produced was BG East’s Sexiest: Breaking Pointmat match. Rusty Stevens and Mitch Colby had traded my loyalties back and forth, each claiming and losing the title of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler to each other repeatedly. Holy hell, the two of them wore me out for something like a year and a half, turning me on harder and harder with each new release they starred in seperately! What was needed, I mused here at neverland, was a direct, head-to-head confrontation in which the two premiere fantasymen appealing to my fondest homoerotic wrestling desires showed up in the same place to work their magic on each other, proving decisively and indisputably which one of them was the champ of grabbing my cock and milking me dry. This seemed an unlikely item for my wish list, since Rusty had never appeared in a homoerotic wrestling production east of the Mississippi. They were both Naked Kombat veterans, but I got the impression from somewhere that Mitch was not interested in going down that path again. So when BG East released in the summer of 2010 The Breaking Point, I felt faint at the sight of Rusty and Mitch in sweat-soaked jock straps barreling down on one another on the Florida mats (so okay, I had asked for a Boston ring match, but whadevah). Was I in any way responsible for this stroke of casting genius? I suspect not, and no one has ever suggested that was the case. But like a prayer to Poseidon, the expression of my heart’s desire was followed closely enough by its realization that I felt a little moment of self-efficacy over the homoerotic wrestling gods. Maybe, just maybe, I could feel like I had just a little to do with Rusty’s one and only venture (so far) into BG East territory.
Cameron Matthews hands Lon Dumont a bottle of lube as they face off in Wrestlefest 3.
The second instance of inspired booking that I probably don’t have absolutely any right to claim…but I’ll imply that I do… is the opening match in BG East’s new release, Wrestlefest 3, pitting my now-reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont, against his former protege, babyface bruiser and former HWOTM here, Cameron Matthews. In my interview with Lon early in 2011, he mentioned he was Cam’s “original pro wrestling trainer,” and that in their careers, they’d wrestled one another 3 or 4 dozen times. “Damn, that would be something I’d like to see!” I replied. “Perhaps we’ll see you two in action through BGE sometime.” Enigmatically, Lon responded, “Perhaps so.”
Lon puts his protege on his knees.
Merely 2 and a half years later, BG East released Wrestlefest 3, checking off another fondest wish on my list. This match sets off a non-stop fireworks-finale in my crotch for the duration of this intensely hot ring confrontation. The word apparently is that Lon’s return to wrestling competition hasn’t entirely been welcomed by his former mentee, particularly not when Lon was overheard boasting that he was “classing up” BG East since his arrival. As an unabashed Lon-fanatic, I see nothing at all wrong with crediting Lon with bringing a boatload of class, a simply massive ring repertoire, and a melts-in-my-mouth gorgeous physique that’s done nothing at all bad for the BGE universe. Impolitic? Perhaps. But wrong? I’m unapologetically on Lon’s side as this drama unfolds.
Blaine Janus lends a hand in Lon’s torture of Cameron.
I’m not the only one on Lon’s side, but it’s close. Fulfilling another of my oft-mentioned longings, BG East filmed this match in front of a live audience comprised of BG East wrestlers. Everyone of them is instantly pulling for red-white-and-blue bedecked Cameron, except for the lusty cheers that Blaine Janus has for my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon. The rest of the boys at ringside are fucking relentlessly taunting and insulting Lon, but Blaine is channeling my deepest longing by cheering Mr. Dumont on and making at least a couple undisguised passes at the bodybuilder beauty. Note to self: I need to interview Blaine Janus, because that boy has stunningly awesome taste!
All grown up now, Cameron puts the hurt on Lon’s muscled bod.
This match is phenomenal! There’s always a danger of the real thing not living up to the hype and anticipation, but Lon and Cameron bring precisely what I would hope to this match: intensely high quality pro wrestling action, stunningly hot bodies squeezed and pried apart from every angle, and about 3 quarts of sweat (mostly produced by Cameron, I think, but liberally lubricating both of these specimens of gorgeous muscle!). The back and forth is fantastically intense, and early going Lon is simply outmuscled and dominated by his bigger, younger, chip-on-his-shoulder opponent. Watching Lon’s hot bod get manhandled ranks as one of the top 10 wonders of the homoerotic wrestling world, as far as I’m concerned.
Full-contact audience participation!
Full-contact audience participation is achingly sweet, and the Cam-fans at ringside are simply giddy when they exploit every opportunity they can to get their hands on Lon. I understand the impulse. The cocky veteran appears to have a blind spot for an audience inexplicably aching to watch him get crushed, and Skip Vance and Ben Monaco in particular successfully get underneath Lon’s flawless skin and do what audiences do best, assault the oversized egos in the ring and serve as the third man, distracting cocky heels from their appointed rounds.
Cameron’s got Lon right where I want him!
I don’t think I’ve seen Lon take quite the abuse that his junior colleague dishes out in Wrestlefest 3. Sure, he got pounded into dust by giant Joe Robbins in Gut Bash 8, but Cameron’s measured delivery of precise quantities of trash talk, blinding speed, acrobatic athletics, and ring savvy moves absolutely stymie my top wrestler-crush throughout a good portion of this match in ways I’ve just not witnessed. Cam catches Lon’s fantasy physique in such compromising positions that this match quite literally requires about 3 times longer than the running time for me to get through the whole thing in one sitting.
Lon controls the babyface… completely.
If there’s one thing that can raise my temperature hotter than watching Lon’s muscles dominated, it’s watching him muscle his way back into contention and start to apply the pedal to the metal in overcoming a young stud opponent. Just watching Lon’s chiseled abs pump and flex as he bears down on this babyface beauty in an abdominal stretch is mesmerizing! And don’t think for a minute Lon isn’t a crowd pleaser (despite the complaints of everyone at ringside other than Blaine), because he yanks on those adorably heroic American flag trunks of Cameron’s to show us Cam’s real moneymaker, that mindblowing ass!
Cameron’s got Lon right where I want him (yes, you read that right)
The competition is way too close for Lon to own the momentum for long at any one time, and even with seconds left in the contest the victory remains in question. These two are master storytellers, so the tension is stroked hotter and harder with such expertise, such passion, such a generous spirit for the viewing audience. The former student’s confident call-out of his former mentor teeters back and forth between folly and fate, and every second Cameron gets to feel Lon’s muscle body constricting around him is another moment I’m insanely jealous.
Yep. Right where I want him.
Praise be to the homoerotic wrestling gods that heard my prayers and made this match happen, because watching these to men who know each other so well, with such a history of mutual admiration as well as a burning grudge, is epic. BG East is a better place for having both of these highest class of athletes on board. And if you’re wondering whether Cameron knocks his bodybuilder mentor down a few pegs, I’ll just say that I (and Blaine) were intensely pleased to watch the climax of this barely controlled chaos of a pro wrestling match for gay eyes. So much muscle. So much sweat. Such beautiful wrestling.
Bard: Thanks for making time to chat with me today, Morgan. You seem like a busy guy. I’m seeing you in a lot of wrestling products!
Morgan: Yeah, been a busy a few weeks orienting new talent filming seasons 5 and 6 at MDW, as well as work on a superhero season, and of course I have spent a fair amountof time down at BGE.
Bard: You all are already producing season 6!? Season 5 just came out! Damn, you are busy! I’ve been seriously enjoying some of that new talent MDW has been getting their hands on lately. Tidus, Rodriguez, beefy boys in need of getting a beatdown. What do you do to “orient” fresh meat?
Morgan: Glad you like the new boys. These guys did not need much of a training session; they got in the ring ready to wrestle! Rodriguez in particular is going to be a damn fine talent. When a new guy comes in, though, the procedure is to have them spend time watching myself or Muscle Master Kevin wrestle a couple of matches so there are noquestions as to what is off limits. [laughing] All reservations quickly fly out the window using this method. Once they feel comfortable in that regard we set ’em loose.
Morgan tenderized fresh beef back in MDW Season 2, breaking in Mateus Shogun in Meaty Muscle Massacre.
Bard: Voyeur first, then climb in and go at it? I like it. I like it a lot. I want to ask you more about other wrestlers and about the companies you’ve wrestled for, but first let me ask more about Morgan the Mastodon Cruise. It seems to me like you’ve gone from a rookie to a seasoned heel in the blink of an eye. To what do you owe your success as a terrifying force ofdestruction in the homoerotic wrestling universe?
Morgan: I take full credit for in my in ring prowess! [laughing] But in all seriousness, I have been a wrestling fan for as long as I can remember, and when I got to BG East for the first timeit was like a dream. I learned a lot from my first match with Lon Dumont – it was kind of like, “Oh, this is what I am going to be doing? Hell, yeah!”
Morgan learned the ropes at the mercy of indy pro veteran and competitive bodybuilder, Lon Dumont, in BG East’sRookie Wreckers.
Bard: That was a monumental match with Lon. I’m a huge, huge, huge fan of his, and I go back to that match often. I had a strong feeling even then that with a little “orienting” from an indy pro veteran like Lon, you were going to be a force to be reckoned with. What would you say is the most devastating hold in your arsenal at this point in your career?
Morgan bearhugs Lon Dumont in Rookie Wreckers.
Morgan: Interesting, well that match was all about the bearhug; I bearhugged Lon; he bearhugged me; and I definitely have to put that one high up on the list. But as far as my most devastating hold, the torture rack has to take the cake
Bard: Fuck. Yes. Hoist an opponent up across those big broad shoulders of yours and make them scream. I’ll be in the front row every time. I know what a move like that does for me as I watch you completely dominate a sorry bastard totally off his feet and under your control. What’s the experience like for you?
Morgan racks the hell out of Christian Taylor, humiliating him in front of Christian’s lover, Skip Vance, in BG East’s Tag Team Torture 16.
Morgan: I am always surprised at how easy it is to throw an opponent up there and secure them by their neck and balls. Once they are on my shoulders and I am cranking down, they have no choice but to submit. It is the perfect chance to run my mouth, make them say whatever I want. It is complete control.
Bard: Complete control. That’s what it looks like on this end, too. I hope you don’t mind if I ask about your body, because I’d swear it’s straight out of some of my fondest erotic fantasies from watching old school 1980’s pro wrestling on television. Big, solid muscles, unapologetically hairy, liberally dowsed in sweat, built for function. How would you describe your physique?
Morgan’s opponents know what’s going down.
Morgan: I am THE hairy he-man. When my opponent comes to the ring and sees me standing across from them, they know what’s going down. My chest is the kryptonite of all men. When I wrestle, I sweat all over guys – always was a heavy perspirer. My bi’s are built tall and peaked; my back is the thickest out of any other wrestler; and I am secretly extremely athletic. Obviously you are not going to see me doing any dop-kicks or high flying moves, much too methodical for that, but letting everyone know now that I can bust any move out. I was built to wrestle.
Bard: Built to wrestle. Excellent summary, and I can’t agree more. So tell me some numbers, because I get off on numbers. What’s your height and weight right now?
Morgan: I’m 5’8, 175 pounds – had been dealing with a shoulder injury and was forced to lean out for quite some time, but now finally am back to my usual bulky self and packing on more muscle than ever.
Bard: How big are those mountainous peaks you call your upper arms?
Morgan: Last I measured, they were in the realm of 18.
Bard: Sweet. How far does the tape measure have to go to get around your pecs and that thickest-of-all-upper-backs?
Morgan: [Laughing] Have not taken that measurement, but let me just say I have ripped a few shirts on the way on and off.
Bard: Damn, you need to get Kevin to grab that measurement… and send me a photo of him doing it. Waist?
Morgan: [Laughing] Good luck getting that photo. The boss is a busy man. My waist is 28 inches.
Bard: Thighs (including copious hair)?
Morgan: Measuring now…
Bard: Damn, I wish I were there to lend a hand with that….
Morgan: You are not the first. 26 inches.
Bard: But I promise, I’d be the best. Fantastic. No wonder opponent’s are weeping when you get those tree trunks wrapped around them. So in the “real” world, when guys are hittingon you, ’cause I know guys are hitting on you all the time, what’s the first compliment they’re giving you to start flirting?
The gaze draws people in.
Morgan: They try and guess the color of my eyes – first they say grey, then green, sometimes blue, ultimately concluding they are hazel. Either way it has always been my gaze that draws people in that is invariably where they start – then the bicep compliments start.
Bard: I could totally see that, though if you had your shirt unbuttoned, I’d have to make a comment about those hot hairy pecs. Coincidentally, I put “hazel” as my eye color on my driver’s license, just because no one can tell me a better description for my eye color, either. So back to wrestling, I’m of the opinion that you’ve moved the bar wherever you’ve wrestled. For example, at BG East, you’ve done some amazing work blending old school pro wrestling style with incredibly sexy, trunks off eroticism. And at Muscle Domination Wrestling, it seems to me you’ve been on the envelope pushing the explicit, full-frontal homoerotic combat angle. Do you think of yourself as a trailblazer?
Morgan wrestle raw against Tony Law.
Morgan: I ama stickler for wrestling logic. That is where the old school style comes in. If a move in a sequence is out of place it really bothers me. I religiously watch back all my matches to fill in the gaps, always thinking about what I could have done here or there. I own a very raw wrestling style which goes hand in hand with baring skin. My main objective at MDW was to incorporate skillful wrestling within the sub-dom framework. Originally Muscle Domination Wrestling utilized wrestling as a medium to explore different facets of domination. My job is bringing the product to a level where wrestling assumes its natural artful position while MDW expands its vision for alpha male conquest. Season 5marks the first huge strides towards this goal.
Bard: I’m thrilled to hear about that continuing evolution at MDW. And I like the word “raw” for your wrestling style. It’s raw, hardcore, in your face wrestling without losing an ounce of respect for the art and science of it. And I’m here to confess that watching you pound the shit out of some pretty, pretty boy turns me on… a lot. Is wrestling a turn on for you?
Morgan: Turn on, fulfillment, gratification… all those words are appropriate.
Bard: Nice to know that it works that way on your end. Speaking of you pounding the shit out of pretty boys, name some names for me. Do you have a favorite match so far in your career?
Morgan: Ah, always a tough question, picking my favorite, but to name a couple… One from BGE, one from MDW. I loved wrestling Diego Diaz. He was a really naturally talented guy. We had a great back and forth before I crushed my way to victory. Chemistry is just one of those things – until you are in the ring working off one another you just never know how a match will turn out, but right when we started and he responded to my shit-talk I knew we would have a good scrap. As for MDW, it has given me many chances to wrestle Tony Law. Myfirst filmed match with him was also at BGE, but since then we have faced each other more times than I can count, so we work very well together – no punches pulled, just intense grit. The most recent match we had was a celebration of our “rivalry,” the culmination of our many bouts – Tony’s final chance to get one over on a 60 minute straight-through Iron Man match. We filmed it all in one shot, non-stop action, and boy did it get sweaty – my favorite match from the new season 5 for sure.
Morgan digs deep into Tony’s pumped pecs in Morgan’s Spotlight Wrestler match.
Bard: Again, I’m a big fan of big, big, big Diego Diaz, and that chemistry you describe definitely comes through when watching that match. And I’m not surprised to hear Tony Law’s name pop up. By the law of averages, since you’ve beaten him so many times, it makes sense one of those times might be on your favorites list. I’ve seen your match with Tonyover at BG East, and again, the word “raw” comes to mind. The match description for this Iron Man match for MDW’s season 5 makes it sound as if Tony may have finally turned the tables on you this time around, which I for one find hard to believe. Anything more you can say about Iron Man and how you left Tony’s meaty ass when the 60 minutes were up?
Morgan leans into his longstanding rivalry with beefy farmboy, Tony Law
Morgan: Well, the Iron Man contest allows for multiple pins and submissions (not that any heel is going to stop at the first tap out anyway), so I will say that Tony had a lot of chance to make up for lost time. The man that walks away with the most victories at the hour’s end is declared the ultimate winner of the contest, so either we exchanged a few wins in a closely contested bout, or I kicked his ass for an hour straight, but you will have to watch it to find out.
Bard: Nicely teased. Damien Rush is another hot stud you’ve brutalized over and over from MDW to BG East and back again. The level of brutality and humiliation you’ve dragged him through is an astonishing body of work all on it’s own. I’ve got to hand it to the handsome hunk that he’s got some serious nerve climbing back into the ring again and again with you. You look like you could just about eat him for lunch, but I wonder if, at the end of the day, you walk away with respect for even the mewling, weeping opponents you leave crushed in the ring behind you, like hot hunk Damien.
Damien works up a sweat all over trashed boy toy, Damien Rush again and again.
Morgan: Damien is a hot-headed talent, and I do respect him, but at the end of the day I have job to do and that is putting everyone in their proper place beneath me the one true wrestling god. Now, if Mr. Rush wanted to admit that I am and always will be better than him in every way and wanted to form a tag team with me then I could really respect him.
… and again, and again the Mastodon works to teach Damien some respect.
Bard: Message sounds loud and clear to me. By the way, if you find yourself ripping Mr. Rush’s sweat-soaked trunks off his hot bod again, keep me in mind. I’ve got a trophy case with a spot reserved. Your most recent release for BG East featured you taking on both Christian Taylor and his notorious jobber boyfriend, Skip Vance at the same time in Tag Team Torture 16. I’ve only seen previews of the match so far, but it looks like you fucking own the both of them in body and soul. A boyfriend tag team beatdown is a long-standing pet erotic fantasy of mine. What was it like for you to not just work over another pretty boy like Christian, but to crush him in front of his anguished lover and then humiliate the both of them at the same time?
Morgan works his way underneath Skip’s skin by humiliating Skip’s lover inside the ring.
Morgan: Let me first say if you want Damien’s trunks you will have to peel them off his throat, but it is fine by me. Someone needs to do him the favor after my many mean encounters with him. Boyfriend Beatdown was exhilarating. While I owned Christian in the ring, Skip cheers on moral support from the much safer exterior of the ring. For the first time I was able to bash one hunk while taunting another. My game plan was of course to get both in the ring at once because obviously alone they are both squash material. Skip and I went back and forth for a good while before I got underneath his skin playing with his boyfriend in whichever way I wanted. Christian was no match for me and failed to save any face even with his boyfriend there cheering him on. I felt badly for him so it was only natural to provoke skip so his boyfriend could see that no one stands a chance against the Mastodon. Squashing both together was like playing god I was the ruler of their relationship; I was the master of all things private to them, it was Morgan Cruise who determined when and where they kissed along with other things.
Morgan has both Skip Vance and his lover Christian Taylor right where he wants them.
Bard: Holy shit, that’s hot. That match is officially next on my BG East order form. So here are a few stream of consciousness questions for you. Don’t think too long… just answer what comes first into your head. Okay?
Morgan: Sure.
Bard: Steak or seafood?
Morgan: Seafood.
Bard: Boxers or briefs?
Morgan: Neither.
Bard: [Laughing] Perfect. Legs or chest?
Morgan: Chest.
Bard: Scissor or bearhug?
Morgan: Bearhug.
Bard: Top or bottom?
Morgan: Top.
Bard: Of course. Country or rock?
Morgan: Metal.
Bard: Nice. So you’ve got a lot of fans, I’m sure you know. Watching you in the ring, however, you seem completely focused, like you don’t give a shit about anyone else, what anyone else thinks or wants. What do you make of the legions of Mastodon fans out there who can’t get enough of the magic that you make in the wrestling ring?
Morgan: The truth is that my namesake the Mastodon went extinct, but I am the perfect breed – an ever-evolving specimen, and that means listening to feedback and taking direction and criticism. I keep in close contact with my die hard fans, and they tell me what they like and what they do not. Luckily there is very little to not like. When I am in the ring I tap into the primal force that is the Mastodon, and everything else dissolves. My focus becomes how I want to break my opponent down and how to do it with precise logic and incomparable style.
Bard: Good to hear. You are a crowd pleaser, it’s impossible to deny. What’s something that Mastodon fans don’t know about you that they should?
Morgan: I am very quiet outside the ring. [Laughing] I hardly speak. I meticulously dissect the way in which others communicate so that I never misunderstand anyone. Everyone has a different method or nuance to the way in whcih they articulate the idea they want to get across, so attention to detail is key. As a result, I do not own a cell phone. I heavily prefer direct contact
Bard: Fascinating… and suddenly I’m second guessing what I’ve said this whole interview. Just a couple more questions for you. Is there any particular wrestler currently competing that you haven’t wrestled yet that needs to trampled by the Mastodon?
Morgan has his eye on none other than BG East’s Kid Karisma.
Bard: Holy hell, yes! I’d pay for a front row seat for that one! Hell, the image of all of those muscles locked with muscles is making me a little dizzy right now. Speaking of muscles, if you found yourself climbing into the ring again with Lon Dumont, with considerably more experience and practice under your belt now than when you first wrestled, do you think things would turn out differently this time around?
Morgan: I have been waiting for that question. He can come to MDW, or we can meet back up in the BG East ring any time, any place. I am there. This time around, you can bet your “firstborn,” The Mastodon is walking away victorious.
A rematch with Lon Dumont: Would this happen again!?
Bard: Sweet. I’m hoping to sit down for face-to-face interview with Mr. Muscles in the not-too-distant future, so I’ll be sure to let him know. You’ve been a delight to chat with, Morgan, and for someone who typically hardly speaks outside the ring, you’ve been an awesome conversationalist. Is there any last word you’d like to pass along to Mastodon fans out there before I let you go?
Morgan: The Mastodon is watching over the works at MDW, and would like to encourage my fans to check Muscle Domination Wrestling out as I am making sure my in-ring work extends beyond my own matches. The landscape has changed, and the wrestling has come to the forefront. And thank you for the interview it was a pleasure to have this experience. I have learned a good few things from your blog. And do be sure to let good old Lonny Dumont that he can come to me, or I am coming for him [laughing].
Bard: You are a one of a kind, hot, sweaty, raw, old school mass of muscle wrestler, and I cannot wait to catch up on your newest releases now, and to check out the evolving landscape at MDW. I hope we can chat again sometime, perhaps after I can get Lon back on the record. Thanks again, Morgan. You’re awesome!
I think it’s been a while since I mused over my infatuation with tattooed wrestlers. It’s true that my own ink likely biases me toward my appreciation of illustrated hunks, but then again, my appreciation of illustrated hunks definitely influenced my own body art choices. Not everyone looks good inked. Definitely not all ink looks good, as far as I’m concerned. But there are many tattooed wrestlers who instantly own my allegiance when the step onto the mat or into the ring, in large part because they’ve got incredibly sexy ink that I crave to see wrapped up all over their suffering opponent.
Here’s some of my choice pics from the recent crops of new release homoerotic wrestling products, featuring ink that grabs my attention and makes me pull for one hardbodied hottie over the other based in large part on the artistry they embody even before they sculpt their bodies into that most provocative aesthetic form: homoerotic wrestling.
Okay, I love me some Cameron Matthews. His attitude, his wit, his relatively recently redefined incredibly conditioned physique, that ASS(!!!)… it’s hard not to find myself wanting to identify with the babyface brawler turned muscle daddy for a heel bid. But fuck! Eli Black works his magic in my shorts once again in Mat Hunks 9, solidly holding my gaze and making me acknowledge he’s my boy in this match, and I have to think it’s his ever growing collection of tattoos.
A relatively recent release in what I think is Can-Am’s best genre contribution to homoerotic wrestling pits epically long-time favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy of mine, Rusty Stevens, against almost painfully beautiful pretty boy, Kevin Crowes in Pro Sex Fight 4. I have a documented record years-long that proves that there’s almost nobody to compete with Rusty Stevens in delighting, entrancing and infatuating me, starting well before he lays a finger on an opponent. And Rusty’s got some sweet ink, albeit he could use some touch ups, if you ask me. But Kevin Crowes’ combination of imminently fuckable classically proportioned beauty along with his bold, massive, gorgeous ink does what perhaps only one man before has been able to do: hold my attention and settle my ass securely and convincingly in the opposite corner from Rusty Stevens.
Paul Hudson’s tatted bicep makes Lon Dumont just a little less pretty.
Lon Dumont’s skin is smooth, clear and entirely absent of foreign pigment. It’s not the art tatted onto Lon’s body that has propelled him into the top echelons of my favorite homoerotic wrestlers, but the incredible beauty of his competition physique paired with a smart, vicious persona and high quality pro wrestling execution. What could make me root against my reigning favorite!? I think it’s two things, really. One, there’s something deeply stirring watching a whittled to an anatomy chart physique star go slack over and over in a knock outs match, and (more to the point of this post), his opponent Paul Hudson surprises me by smacking me firmly into the Hudson camp with his bulging trunks and upper arm ink. Lon’s face slack and smashed into the black band inked across Paul’s right bicep is simply gorgeous.
Illustrated MJ rides Attila’s ass
The 3rd match in Mat Hunks 9 catches me by surprise by how compelled I am by it. Attila Dynasty (and in particular, his ass) has long been an infatuation of mine. But MJ Vergara is visually astonishing the moment he walks into the BG East mat room and shoves Attila stumbling ahead of him. The mohawked muscle man is amazingly built, veins popping, muscles bulging, 25 inch waist (my guess, I haven’t measure him myself… but I’d be very happy to). His bold, beautiful tattoo stretched across the whole of his left pec and massive deltoid and trapezius muscles is simply beautiful! Attila is such a smart ass, such a cocky, swaggering, proven-dangerous son of a bitch, of course, and there are plenty of matches in which that character is exactly the one I can’t wait to watch work up a head of sadistic steam all over his crushed opponent’s body. Not this time, however. Fuck, I’m all on board with compact muscle stud MJ going ape shit all over Attila’s fine, fine ass, and I’m thinking that he’s got me sucked in to identifying with his plans for bully revenge thanks in large part to that gorgeous ink that absolutely swallows up Attila whole.
Beauty and power you just have to touch.
Chace LaChance and Braden Charron in BG East’s Summer Sizzler’s bonus are both in the best shape I’ve ever seen either of them, and sporting more ink than I think we’ve ever seen on either phenomenal muscle men. All of that inked muscle wrapped around each other, squeezing, stretching, and flexing is breathtaking. Who to root for when both stunning physique stars are in the best condition and most extensive ink ever? It’s a toss up for me, but I’m not complaining. There’s no way this can miss!
Big Sexy’s big, sexy ink on display.
Less surprising is Thunder’s Arena’s Big Sexy owning my lustful allegiance in Battle Space 45. If there’s a “total package” in homoerotic wrestling these days (by the way I estimate packages, at least), Big Sexy probably has the best claim. He’s smart and funny, highly skilled on the mats, handsome as hell, beautifully built, one of the most fuckable asses on the planet, and all of that beautiful artwork! Both an artist and a work of art, I’m entirely a Big Sexy fanatic when he steps onto the mats with the entirely tattooless muscles of a muscle star, Muscles.
Oiled ink on ridiculously hot Landon Conrad.
Naked Kombat’s newest release makes me gasp. Even if Landon Conrad didn’t have a few, modest tats on that insanely hot muscle bod, he’d definitely be my man in his match against amazingly hot, yet somehow unavoidably diminished in comparison, Alex Law. However, ridiculously handsome muscle hunk Landon does, indeed, have tats that drive home the point that this porn gladiator is suddenly my #1 Naked Kombat kombatant in any match for the foreseeable future.
Specimen illustrates total domination.
Thunder’s Arena has long been the place for the battles of the big men, and Battle Space 46 is a prime example. Looking for everything like Superman’s alternate universe arch enemy Bizzaro, bad boy and mighty meat head Vinny was never going to be my man after the tiff he dusted up around his “gay taunt” earlier in his Thunder’s career. But then again, with beautiful, branded beef like Specimen is serving up, it wasn’t like Vinny had a chance anyway. Beat his ass, make him cry, and give him an up-close examination of every tat, Specimen!
My final tat shout out is for another a BG East newcomer, bad ass Vic Madone. Vic is a perfect example of the difference between still frame homoerotic wrestling images and homoerotic wrestling in action. In still frame, this gorgeous stud is GORGEOUS! I mean, crystal blue eyes to swim in. A face that should be hocking ultra-expensive men’s cologne. A lickable body that appears to be the perfect intersection of form and function. Even with all of those very, very nice tats, I could picture still-frame Vic easily donning a tuxedo and walking a red carpet (and then climbing into a wrestling ring for a rip-n-strip extravaganza). But when I watched his debut match on Mat Hunks 9, there was nothing “pretty” about Vic. He mumbles non-stop, and I’d pay money for a translator, because I’m sure that incessant trash talk is sexy as shit. But Vic is an object of my lust like Michael Imperioli is in the Sopranos. He’s rough, mean as hell, machismo oozing out of his pours, and absolutely BRUTAL! Personally, I’m likely to root for anyone going up against Ray Naylor simply because I’m dying to see someone seriously ride that epic ass of his. But Vic is honestly phenomenal in this match, slowly warming me up from an initial tingling in my crotch to a full-on raging fever over the course of the first 5 minutes. I pity anyone who faces this hot, inked hunk, but I fully expect that if anyone does, you can count on me standing right behind Vic in anticipation of him doing serious damage.
So ink seems to be adding up to my allegiance lately. Of course, just because I’m rooting for one wrestler to win doesn’t mean I don’t thoroughly enjoy being surprised, having my boy bested, watching the power I’m invested and identified with tamed and conquered. But tattooed muscles wrapping up and locking down an outmatched opponent is a particular brand of hot for me.
Sidelineland 