Kid Karisma – Page 3 – Sidelineland

Ginger Uprising

September 19, 2016 wrestlebard1 Comment

The second match in BG East’s Great Outdoors 2 is a battle to determine who is red-headedest of them all. “You want to take me on and see who the top ginger is?” Charlie Evans asks his challenger, Blaine Janus. “I don’t think this is going to be much of a contest,” Charlie smirks, saying exactly what I’m thinking. “Because you’re not a ginger.”

Although I’m technically a brunette, my Scottish forefathers gifted me with a pale complexion, a penchant for sunburns, excessive freckles, and copper red facial hair, so I feel like I have something to say on the subject of gingers. Like a Catherine Tate ginger liberation comedy sketch, there’s something simultaneously silly and serious about a proud identity statement as a red-head. So when Blaine Janus shows up claiming to be the epitome of ginger hotness, just like Charlie I’m thinking, “But Blaine isn’t ginger!” Dishwater blond, maybe. Strawberry blond if we really stretch things. But ginger? Please. That bitch tans.

You had a Top Ginger wrestling match and didn’t invite Kid Karisma!!!???

The second thought that runs through my mind as this battle to determine who is the top ginger at BG East is equally incredulous. Namely, where the fuck is Kid Karisma!? I think both Blaine and Charlie are playing with fire by seemingly ignoring my running favorite homoerotic wrestler and all around fantasy hunk muscleman red-headed bad boy, Kid K. I mean, he’s just over in the Gazebo, which can’t be more than 50 feet away! Blaine experienced the dangers of locking horns with Kid K in Gazebo Grapplers 16, and long story short, learned the hard way that Kid K can kick his ass. Charlie, on the other hand, has yet to face the karismatic one, and if ever there were a battle of the gingers, I think there may be no two better specimens of fire red-headed hotness. And, oh fuck, Charlie would get served up like bloody steak tartar (I’ll take an order of that, please).

However audacious the explicit stakes of this match, the second match in Great Outdoors 2 is crazy sexy, punching so many of my buttons that I lose count. To start with, the boys wrestle in jeans. Ohhhhh, fuck that sexy. I’ve had a special nitro button for wrestling in jeans every since I first saw Chip Slater and Jeff Kenny tear into one another in denim (and tear each other out of denim) in Matmen 13. Charlie and Blaine do the genre proud with full throttle aggression and serious pro wrestling moves, straining the seams of their Levis. Charlie is a pale vision of white hot sexiness in his jeans as he’s pounded down hard in an OTK breakbreaker. For my tastes, the jeans come off way too early, frankly. I love the sense of impatience implied by the boys ripping into each other before they bother with stripping down to gear with better range of motion. It’s impulsive and rash and aching for the fight.

While not a squash, Charlie takes the blunt end of the stick throughout about three quarters of the contest. There’s something achingly vulnerable about the super flyweight brawler that makes it look like fate when a bigger opponent like Blaine absolutely muscle bullies him all over the place. The sexiest hold for my tastes in this match is the repeated variations on bearhugs that Blaine locks Charlie up in over and over. Most notably is the incredibly delicious hammerlock bearhug, with Blaine just needing one hand to lock his opponent’s wrists behind his back (so fucking vulnerable!). With his free hand, Blaine aggressively grabs Charlie by the chin and locks lips. I swoon. Fuck, that is so sexy.

The lip locks fly free, which is another favorite element put to fantastic use in this match. The red-headed contenders are into each other early and often. I LOVE seeing Ever Ready bunny Charlie macking like a player and sucking face hard and enthusiastically. When Blaine takes the first submission, forcing Charlie to kiss his biceps, then his lips, Charlie throws himself into the task with abandon. He’s so damn eager. So hungry. There’s moment there when Blaine is grinning ear to ear getting so fiercely muscle worshipped and sexed up good by the randy flyweight that I think this wrestling match is about to fly way off the rails and the boys are just going to rip off their trunks and fuck. Frankly, I think Blaine thinks that too, by the look of total shock on his face when Charlie suddenly spins behind him and locks on sensationally vicious neck crank.

Blaine’s erotic offense turned against him

While I think the element of Charlie Evans as a sly seducer is solid gold, Blaine is pissed. I mean, once he submits (because he left himself so completely compromised by the erotic offense of Mr. Gingersnap), he goes on a raging rampage. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Charlie hold up his hands pleadingly, “I feel like I took advantage of you.” The devilish grin across his face sort of undermines the sincerity of the apology. “No one does that to me!” Blaine growls furiously. “No one seduces me! I do the seducing!”

“No one seduces me! I do the seducing!!!”

It’s about time someone successfully turned those tables on the strawberry blond Canuck. Rafael Valmor nearly pulled off the seduction submission on Blaine way back in Undagear 18, but Charlie is apparently the first to pop Blaine’s cherry when it comes to wearing him down with a debilitating erotic offense. I think it’s the ginger factor. Who can withstand a hot, red-headed liplock?

The rest of the match is total hell for poor Charlie. Blaine throws his lovely ass all over the place, slamming him down, dragging him back up by pec claws, then slamming him back down again. It’s a little intoxicating watching the momentum an opponent can work up on little Charlie. More closely matched bodies just couldn’t pull off the incredible bullying and breathtaking power moves that Blaine works on Charlie, at least not with this pace and persistence. Those magnificent bearhugs just make me lightheaded. Traditional. Reverse. Inverted. Inverted reverse. With and without hammerlocks. With and without liplocks. I don’t think I’m reading into things when I say that it’s the reverse bearhugs that Blaine seems to like best, planting Charlie’s ass right on top of that swelling Canuck cock and jerking and shaking him mercilessly. “Just like Raggedy Ann!” Blaine laughs, invoking still another ginger icon.

There’s a climax, namely Charlie obediently gasping out the reply “Blaine, Blaine, Blaine” when the Canuck has the rake handle pressed across his windpipe and demands to know, “Who’s the real ginger!?” But then there’s this tantric multiple climax, as Blaine delights in sleepering his flyweight play toy out cold, only to rouse him with increasingly erotic alarm clocks. Kisses wake Charlie up first. Fuck, what a way to wake up! When he’s put out again, it’s a schoolboy pin with Blaine’s bulging crotch slapping him in the face that startles Charlie to consciousness. Fuck, fuck, fuck, what a way to wake up!

Sweet heat throughout this match. Charlie is a revelation, bringing the seduction and attitude that make me believe boys are going to line up to beat his lovely, lean rookie ass. Blaine is his typical intense self, which is always sexy. There’s something about his look that seems different to me, though. Honestly, I don’t think I would have recognized him if his name wasn’t on the DVD cover, but I can’t put my finger on what it is. He’s about the same build. We’ve seen him leaner and harder, but he’s a sexy, sultry handful (as evidenced by Charlie’s enthusiastic body worship moments). But. What? I’m just not sure what it is that doesn’t come across as Blaine’s typical hot, deceptively pretty self.

Charlie weaves ginger magic worshipping Blaine’s body

In any case, jeans, liplocks, erotic offense, and sensationally hot, climactic mat wrestling make this a hit for me. And please, please someone get me an invitation to the next erotic ginger Wrestlefest in which Charlie, Blaine and Kid Karisma go all out in a three-way ring battle. The Scot in me is already fully erect in anticipation.

Look at the marks on Charlie’s back? Now THERE’S a real ginger!

The Heat Is On

July 20, 2016July 20, 2016 wrestlebardLeave a comment

Having recently moved, I’m getting accustomed to a lot of new things. The weatherman keeps reporting on “thund-uh-stoams.” There are apparently 100 ticks for every human being in the region. And it’s fucking hot.

Mitch Colby & Tyrell Tomsen in Wet & Wild 3

That last part makes me rethink my decision to ignore places with swimming pools in my housing search when I moved here a month and a half ago. I’ve always thought of pools as a pain in the ass. And, honestly, this climate calls for outdoor pools no more than about 25% of the year, so it seemed like a waste. But damn. It’s fucking hot.

Frey v Jersey (Water Wars) - TV - 123 of 256.jpg — Jersey & Frey in Water Wars 4

I’m sure I’ve posted here about my ambivalence about the swimming pool genre in homoerotic wrestling, but I’m too lazy right now to look it up for you (did I mention how hot it is?). So let me just reiterate. On the con side, pool wrestling too often submerges more than half of the available eye candy. Upper bodies are privileged as the only thing we can see most of the time (and neglecting attention to hot legs is another, more global complaint I make often). There’s probably about 80% of wrestling holds that just don’t translate to a pool. A Boston crab would likely lead to manslaughter charges.

Kid Karisma & Christian Taylor in Wet & Wild 5

But on the other end of the ambivalent spectrum, I love wet muscles. On that point, sweat, shower scenes, and oil wrestling tweak the same kink in me that pool wrestling does. There’s also something inherently playful about pool wrestling. Watching homoerotic wrestlers do it, it certainly appears to take many of them back to the same days of juvenile, carefree summers getting yelled at for horsing around in and around the pool, playfully bullying chums by seeing who can dunk the other, games of chicken, perched on top of each others’ shoulders and seeing who can topple whom.

h0612_lg — Kid Vicious demonstrates how standing headscissors take on a whole new significance in the pool in Wet & Wild 4

While I couldn’t stand an exclusive diet of homoerotic wrestling in the pool, like fresh corn on the cob and the sweetest of watermelons, it’s a seasonal treat that can work for me. Though I have to say I prefer it to conclude with bronzed bodies baking in the sun, making out naked poolside.

canadian-built-wrestle-club-3-dvd-026.41.jpg — Bodybuilders Jeff Renshaw & Brad Sargeant show of their physiques in Canadian Built Wrestle Club 3

Mason Brooks makes an OTK (and ball claw) work on Trey Dixon in Wet & Wild 7: Pool Tournament

Cole Cassidy & Rob Berlin’s muscles glisten in Wet & Wild 1

Soaking wet horseplay between Marco Guerra & Cole Cassidy in Wet & Wild 2

Billy Lodi grabs hold of Rafe Sanchez (mmmm, Rafe!) with everything in Catch Weight 3

Cam Hudson & Shane McCall check-in to post match muscle play in Motel Madness 3

Everyone’s a winner after Wet & Wild 7: Pool Tournament

Trey Dixon & Ty Alexander heat up the pool post Wet & Wild 7: Pool Tournament

Kid Karisma & Christian Taylor heat back up post pool match in Wet & Wild 5

In Catchweight 3, the brutal wrestling was heading just one direction: into the pool.

The Right Hand

May 10, 2016 wrestlebardLeave a comment

As the self-anointed president of the Kid Karisma fan club, how am I the last to know that a muscle worship session with Kid Karisma was up for bids at a charity auction!? The 2nd match in BG East’s Fan Fantasy 4 is what happens with Billy Lodi wins said auction and the two BG East veterans get down to business.

I’ve got so many questions. What charity benefitted from this incredibly inspired auction? The Ginger Anti-Defamation League? Kid K’s local gay rugby team? The World Muscle Ass Hall of Fame? And seriously, again I ask, how did I not know about this!? I don’t actually know for a fact that I could have outbid Billy, but I’m confident that I’m older, have likely accumulated more assets, and possess a 401(k) that I’d have sucked the life out of to slap Billy into 2nd place.

“Very!” Billy confirms just how excited he is.

There are a thousand and one things to love about this Fan Fantasy match, and I’m not even counting Billy’s hot, horny, skinny twink body or Kid Karisma’ magnificently muscled, fantastically fit, downright divine physique. For starters, this is muscle worship done right. Fan Fantasy does not skip on open, awed, slack jawed muscle worship. It’s hands on and intimate and enduring. Billy is counting his lucky stars even before Kid Karisma confirms that he can touch his body, tactilely adore his godlike muscles, and ask any questions along the way if he wants any curated details of the work of art out on loan to him.

This narrative is fundamentally superior to the first match on in this collection, for my tastes. In Rafael Valmor’s bought and paid for muscle appreciation session with the object of his long-time infatuation, Kieran Dunne, Kieran insists on a no-touch rule. Rafael is permitted to eye fuck him all he wants, but he’s instructed to keep his hands off. Sure, Rafael ups the ante for a full contact wrestling session with his favorite muscleboy, but the muscle worship is constrained. The homoerotic text is ever so much repressed. Not so with Billy’s redemption of his winning ticket for a crack at Kid K. Hell, when Billy seems a little tentative about really giving Kid K’s multi-award winning glutes the adoration they so abundantly deserve, the physique star prods him on. “Feel those powerful glutes,” Kid Karisma demands when Billy’s hands awkwardly, almost shyly only graze those fantasy cheeks. With full permission and encouragement, Billy really digs in, turning me insanely jealous.

There is one constraint on the full-contact muscle worship auction award, it turns out. Although Billy has won the opportunity to worship Kid K’s muscles, the ginger hunk firmly, but not bitterly, shuts down the twink’s efforts to get his hands on Kid K’s crotch. “But, it’s a muscle, isn’t it!?” Billy asks perhaps the most provocative rhetorical question in homoerotic wrestling history. Despite his impeccable argument, Kid Karisma insists that while every other inch is on the table, Billy must steer clear of the seductive bulge that, thus far, has remained hidden from the camera in Kid K’s wrestling career.

It’s a dangerous line to walk, as far as I’m concerned, in any story that explains violence in response to amorous advances. Fortunately, Fan Fantasy 4 steers well clear of a “gay panic defense.” When Kid Karisma finally lowers the corporal punishment boom on the auction winner, it’s not at all about Kid Karisma having some sexual insecurity about getting his junk fondled. Fuck, Kid K is quite clearly as turned on by getting worship as Billy is to worship him. When the mat scrap breaks out, it isn’t even really centered on the mystery of the anaconda Kid K is smuggling in his pouch, or his chastity belt struggling to prevent him from, for the first time, going truly full monty on camera. No, much more seductively, the twink discipline that breaks out is really about respect. Kid K asks for respect. Billy disrespects him. Kid K insists on respect. Again, Billy defies him. Obstinately disobedient, Billy keeps pushing the envelope until Kid K enthusiastically opens a can of whoop ass on the lithe punk.

The wrestling is sensationally sexy, with considerable focus on both battlers punishing the fuck out of each other’s balls. Kid Karisma is transcendent, that teasing package swelling with the pleasure of completely manhandling the tenacious, oppositional-defiant young hottie. But hands down (pun intended), the highlight of this match, the scene-stealer to end almost all scene-stealers is when Billy latches onto Kid K’s balls like a beartrap, dropping the hunk to his knees, and then slides the vulnerable, bulging, sensational muscle star backward into a dragon sleeper and shoves his hand down the front of Kid K’s trunks.

Judging by the look on Billy’s face, the prize that, to date, only he has sampled on camera was worth every penny he begged, borrowed, and stole to win that charity auction. And Kid K may have never looked so outrageously gorgeous as splayed out and totally at the mercy of his overtly amorous worshipper turned tormentor simply determined to get every penny’s worth from this once in a lifetime opportunity.

Kid Karisma continues to bulge and swell sensationally

I wasn’t physically present to actually measure the evidence, but I swear that Kid Karisma’s bulge is demonstrably bigger after he’s escaped from Billy’s hands-on cock and ball attention. And, perhaps, the avalanche of muscle torture Billy endures for the duration of the match was worth it, to be the first to say he’s handled Kid K’s goods. It would be for me. And you, admit it. Hell, for you and me, the subsequent getting totally owned and pounded into a withered pulp would just be value added.

There’s a reason that Kid Karisma continues to be my favorite homoerotic wrestler running, and a reason that, I believe, he has held that title longer than anyone else to date. He is as fearless and unapologetically erotically oriented as he is unbelievably beautifully built. Honestly, I sort of hate Billy right now for his luck, but I grudgingly acknowledge that his insistence on sledgehammering right through the boundaries turned this Fan Fantasy into the closest we’ve come yet to getting to truly appreciate ALL of Kid Karisma’s fabulous muscles. If only vicariously, I have to admit that Billy deserves the respect of all of the Kid K fanatics out there who are ragingly jealous of his right hand right now.

Roguish Irreverence

February 26, 2016 wrestlebardLeave a comment

While it’s true I haven’t been able to post regularly lately, I have, nevertheless, been enjoying hot new homoerotic wrestling. BG East’s catalog 112 landed late last week, and I am a happy, happy camper. There are whole lot of gems here to marvel at and obsess over. Possibly inspiring the most intrusive erotic thoughts in me is catalog coverboy Mason Brooks facing off against Best Butt winner 3 years and counting, Kid Karisma in Gazebo Grapplers 18.

Mason enthusiastically faces that award winning ass!

It should come as little surprise that this match grabs me hard, since I’ve extensively documented my erotic infatuation with and genuine appreciation of both of these sensational hunks. I feel like Mason shows us something new, something honest and self-disclosing about himself in every match. And Kid K is the very definition of a fantasyman juggernaut. So pitting and unstoppable muscle hunk against an erotic wild card like Mason is instant chemistry.

I’m sucked in instantly as the cameras roll, because Mason is visibly, audibly, obviously into Kid Karisma. Have we ever seen Mason at a loss for words? Well facing the ginger Tom of Finland physique star come to life, Mason stutters and stammers awkwardly confessing how excited he is to get to wrestle Kid K. I don’t know how it’s possible that we don’t see more genuine corporal appreciation to start homoerotic wrestling matches like this. There’s so much bluster and psychological warfare, we seem to seldom witness an honest moment of one wrestler checking out the divine physique of his opponent and actually blushing with desire. My read is that Mason is pretty much gagging for it as his eyes soak in every bulging inch of the karismatic one, and for that, Mason instantly transports me into that gazebo with him.

And anyone with a passing familiarity with Kid Karisma’s work knows that the magnificent muscleman has an ego every bit as spectacularly bulging and bursting at the seams as his muscles. So adding to the authenticity of the moment is the quite obvious ego stroke he gets when he recognizes Mason is a fanboy. Again, who wouldn’t be tickled to see his opponent soaking in the sight of him with obvious erotic desire? And there’s something very Tarzan about the way Kid K starts the whole thing off by snapping Mason up across his shoulder and parading him around the Gazebo. Then there’s something very, very, very Mason about the way that Brooks, even hanging upside down and appearing so clearly in the complete control of his opponent, calmly latches his fingers around Kid K’s balls and squeezes the musclehunk to his knees with a whimper.

As I’ve said often, I like my homoerotic wrestling with extra helpings of homo and erotic, so this match punches all my buttons hard. We knew about 4 seconds into this thing that Mason was enthralled with Kid Karisma’s body, but it takes Kid K little longer than that to signal that he is abundantly aware of precisely Mason’s assets that have made me a fan all along. The intensity with which Kid K rides Mason’s sweet ass, grinding his crotch slow and hard between those cheeks, is unmistakably amorous.

Someone’s either getting fucked or broken in two. Or both.

Both of these studs are master surfers when it comes to riding waves of momentum. I like the elements of stern discipline and punishment that infuse Mason and Kid Karisma’s entire catalogs. So getting to see that passionate delight in both of them go head to head, to watch them both grab advantage and wring the living daylights out of it, makes this a rare gem. The wrestling is brutal, powerful, and dripping with erotic desire.

Mason’s magically magnetic nipples strike again!

It was less than 2 months ago that I made the hard, hard (hard) decision to take the title of my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler away from Kid Karisma and return it to the sensationally sexy waist of bodybuilder beauty Lon Dumont. Just to show you how closely these two are owning me, I’m flipping the script right back around today and watching Kid Karisma mount the throne again as my current top favorite. It doesn’t hurt Kid K’s claim that Lon was not featured at all in this newest catalog. But let me take absolutely nothing away from him. Kid K drives me crazy with his delight in taking possession of Mason’s hot bod. Karisma is fitter, harder, more sculpted and cut than we’ve ever seen him, and seeing a fantasyman like that get so clearly turned on by the moment of wrestling a mouthwatering morsel like Mason is epic.

And lest this start to sound like I’m all about Kid Karisma in this match, I think Kid K owes a very special lap dance to Mason for his hand in bringing out sides of Kid K that I just don’t think we’ve seen before. When all is said and done, I honestly believe Kid K wants Mason’s sweet body nearly as much as I do, and that is first and foremost a testament to Mason. Their roguish irreverence is beautifully matched, exponentiating the erotic talents both hot boys bring to the mat. They irritate each other’s egos just right. The head of steam they both have by time all is said and done is scorching hot.

This is a homoerotic match where you don’t have to read between the lines.

At the end of this match, one bare assed beauty conquered, the other huffing and puffing at the effort it took to beat him, there’s the perfect end to a homoerotic wrestling match. The winner strolls off, calling the loser to follow him to enjoy the real spoils of homoerotic warfare. And the lucky, lucky loser eagerly climbs to his feet and obeys.

Returning to the top of my list of very, very favorite homoerotic wrestlers is sensationally sexy Kid Karisma!

Lost Time

February 6, 2016 wrestlebardLeave a comment

Thanks for those checking in on me after not posting for a couple of weeks. Exciting times in the Bard household these days, including an imminent relocation of chez Bard. I’m certain there will be more disruptions in my posting schedule over the next few months as I happily move to greener pastures, but in the mean time, let me make up for lost time and applaud the winners of the 2015 BG East Besties.

In the individual wrestler categories featured winners who were certainly odds on favorites, as well as what I consider a couple of upset surprises. First, as for surprises, I think Jake Jenkins’ successful defense of his title as Top Babyface is a surprise mostly because JJ simply wasn’t prominently featured in 2015. Not that I haven’t fucking adored JJ from day 1, but honestly I figured more prolific wrestlers would have been more on the mind of voters. But JJ proves once again not to underestimate his petite, acrobatic, sensationally hot body or beautiful face. And Kip Sorell stole Best Abs from Z-Man!? Holy fuck, that blows my mind. I’d dip all 5 nominees in chocolate sauce and lick them clean, mind you, but Kip’s relatively low 2015 profile paired with Z-Man’s ferocious fan base has to make this a major upset.

Not so surprising are tried and true chart toppers like Best Butt award winner once again, Kid Karisma. It’s hard to argue with perfection, although Ty Alexander pulled out a runner up for the category, and he’s sworn on FB to claim the title in 2016. Also not surprising me at all is Pete Sharp slapping down the competition for Best Bulge with his his monster package. I think that anaconda could be a gimme anytime Pete’s in the mix. Best Body went to Chace LaChance, which I think is entirely understandable, though I’m glad to see Kid K pulled into 2nd place.

Biff Farrell – Best Debut of 2015(Start lobbying now for a “Best Legs” category next year, and a Monster Quad Match between Biff and Logan Vaughn, please!)

Top Heel for 2015 was Guido Genatto, which is hard to argue with, despite my selecting Joe Mazetti for my vote. Guido’s multiple, overwhelming heel performances in 2015 would be tough to beat by anyone at any time. Top Jobber went to fan favorite Ty Alexander, who was my pick and, I think, a shoe-in for his multiple matches jobbing like the cream of the crop. Debut of the year was a tough call, but I’m pleased that my pick, Biff Farrell, slapped Drake’s pick, Chet Chastain, down like a bitch to claim the title. I still say with a debut year like his, Biff could own this industry in a couple of years if he wanted it.

Guido Genatto and Chet Chastain dug deep to pull out the victory for Best Overall Match of 2015

For the collaborative titles (at least, those requiring more than one wrestler to qualify), there were again a few surprises, at least to me. The Submissions 10 match featuring Cameron Matthews and Zach Reno came out of nowhere to take the trophy, as far as I’m concerned. I’m seriously shocked Jonny & Stone didn’t get the nod from submission fans. I’m also surprised and a little perplexed that the winner of Best Match Overall for 2015 was Guido and Chet’s Fan Fantasy 3 bout, despite that same match only coming in second place for Best Ring Match. If one were to assume that voters were consistent in their voting, I think that would have to mean that a good portion of those who voted for Blaine and Cameron’s Barefoot Babyface match as Top Ring match felt that whatever their top mat match pick was was better overall. Still, I find it intriguing that Best Overall Match was not the best match in its category.

Drake made a big push in our discussion about the nominees for Blaine and Cameron’s Barefoot Babyface match, and I’m not surprised it snagged the Best Ring Match title. Hot, shocking, sensationally sexy stuff. Similarly, I’m unsurprised that Ring Releases 2 pulled out the victory for Sexiest Match, even though my vote went for X-Fights 39 (which still pulled a respectable second place). I’m a little thrilled to see Kid Karisma and Marco Carlow’s Undagear 23 match do so well, winning Best Squash and coming in 2nd for Best Mat Battle. My vote still went for Lane Hartley and Richie Douglas brutally once sided babyface mauling for Best Squash, but Kid K and Marco definitely deserved some lauds and praises for that match. The Hottest Liplock of 2015 appeared in Ring Releases 2, meaning it was Kayden Keller’s face sucking on Ty Alexander that turns fans on most last year. That Skrapper and Christian Taylor came in second place surprises me a little, but Christian certainly deserves the reigning title as resident Kisser at BG East these days, so a second place finish for him makes sense

Kid Karisma & Marco Carlow’s Undagear 23 – Best Squash of 2015

Congratulations to all the nominees and especially the winners. It was a rich, deep bench to call up in 2015. The extramural, cross production competition seems to me to be heating up these days (note Cameron throwing shade on FB about the Besties on his way to promoting his own productions these days). But when it comes to full on, unapologetically gay-oriented wrestling with sensationally sexy action and beautiful bodies abounding, BG East remained the most prolific, diverse, and entertaining, by my estimation. I keep waiting for Can-Am to really reinvest in buying back their stake of the explicitly gay wrestling scene (though they definitely maintain a major claim on the wrestling-foreplay porn narrative), and/or some new production to seriously compete with BG East for the unapologetic eye to gay pro wrestling fans. But as of the close of 2015, I think that market is unquestionably dominated by BG East. It was definitely a great year for a great company and a fantastic battalion of beautiful wrestlers.

And the Nominees Are…

January 21, 2016 wrestlebard5 Comments

Time’s a wasting, so if anyone is going to still benefit from seeing side by side (or top to bottom) comparisons of the nominees for BG East Bestie awards before polls close at midnight tomorrow night, I’d better get on it.

The Best Body category is an enigmatic one for me. Taking in the whole of a wrestler’s physique speaks to different tastes and attention. How the academy narrowed the field down to these six specimens, I can’t imagine, but it’s a very, very hot field to choose from.

Competition for Best Bulge is probably equally as subjective, but when we zoom in on the crotch, I have to think that size matters. In this case, these are the boys with the heft and volume to get nominations from the academy.

Pete Sharp (defending Best Bulge 2014 winner)

Nominees for Top Heel somehow seems like one of the clearest categories in the poll. The pro wrestling heel is an iconic role, and at BG East, it’s inhabited by some of the hottest, most merciless and vicious bad asses on the planet. Defending Top Heel of 2014, Kid Karisma, didn’t even make the cut this year, but this year’s field is incredibly competitive.

So who do you like, and who do you think got snubbed by the academy this year? Remember to vote by midnight tomorrow night, Friday, January 22.

Fantasy League

January 6, 2016January 6, 2016 wrestlebard10 Comments

Once upon a time, I was infatuated with two particular homoerotic wrestlers who, sadly, competed exclusively on opposite coasts. The title of my overall favorite homoerotic wrestler was traded back and forth between instant heartthrob Mitch Colby, almost exclusively wrestling with BG East, and sex gladiator Rusty Stevens, who tore up the mats for Can-Am and Naked Kombat. So I mused openly about the unlikely prospects of seeing the two of them go head to head, giving my torn, torn heart a side by side, in the moment, man on man comparison to tip the scales conclusively one direction or the other.

Mitch Colby finally got his hands all over loudmouth, smartass muscle hunk Rusty Stevens in The Breaking Point.

And then, like manna from heaven, BG East released The Breaking Point, pitting my two top infatuations against one another in a mat battle to the naked, orgasmic finish (and I’m not just talking about me). So I know it can happen. The franchise players who appear unlikely to ever cross paths can, on occasion, step across the lines that so arbitrarily divide the homoerotic wrestling universe into competing production camps. And, of course, some wrestlers cross those lines seemingly daily, competing across the country, across multiple platforms, sometimes meeting up against foes they faced in other settings. But there are some wrestlers, often the ones I’m most infatuated with, who appear to stick to their well-worn paths. So I don’t dismiss the possibility entirely, but I know that for many franchise players, the chances of seeing them face off against major competitors for other franchises are slim.

Thunder’s Arena Champ Marco and BG East wild child Kid Karisma

So today I’m musing about “what if.” In this case, what if two franchise players from competing productions were to face off. Namely, between Thunder’s Arena’s champ Marco and BG East’s notorious wild child bad boy Kid Karisma, who would flex in final victory over his wasted foe once all was said and done?

Marco and Kid Karisma, both flexed for your pleasure

I like this pairing for many reasons. For one, I’m a big, big fan of both muscle hunks. Marco was my homoerotic wrestler of the month this past May, and Kid K has been homoerotic wrestler of the month on 3 occasions, as well as owning the title of my overall favorite homoerotic wrestler for longer than anyone else. But the allure of seeing these two square off is much more than just about me.

Marco – 5’8″, 180 lbs versus Kid Karisma – 5’5″, 170 pounds

They’re closely matched in size. They’re both listed at 5’8″ with Marco about 10 pounds of heavier. That all adds up, in my mind, to Kid K packing on denser, more ripped muscles. If Kid K has a strength advantage, arguably Marco may have an advantage in wrestling technique, at least as far as mat wrestling goes. In a pro ring, Kid K appears to have a boatload more experience. The margins are razor thin in all of these contrasts, though, and I wouldn’t be surprised to be completely surprised by whatever might unfold should these two meet in the ring or on the mats.

Both fantasymen are much larger than life

What really moves me most about this hypothetical and unlikely face off is the personalities involved, however. Both of these magnificent specimens are raging smart asses. They play with their food. They taunt and torment. Both studs end up on top much more often than not, and they revel in lording it over their crushed opponents. Both hunks pay generous and often appreciative attention to the sexy physiques of their doomed foes. And both musclemen make me laugh, gasp, and hard with similar portfolios of beauty, power, and wit.

Casual readers can weigh in on who you see as more likely to destroy the other, Marco or Kid Karisma. Serious fans can weigh in in the comments section as to how you see this playing out. In the BGE ring? On the Thunder’s mats? Competitive? Squash? Finishers? Let me know how your fantasies and mine line up.

A Year in the Life

December 30, 2015December 29, 2015 wrestlebard1 Comment

With 2015 coming to a close, it’s time to reminisce. I published 100 posts this year, and readers added up an astonishing 493,000 page views in 2015. Most readers (by far) find their way to the home page of neverland, tracking the most recently published posts from day to day. Fascinatingly, the second most viewed page was the About neverland page, which sort of warms my heart because it’s text intensive (so you weren’t just chasing pics) and, well, all about me and my philosophy of blogging. By far the most popular pic clicked on this year was of hot, hairy chested Damien Rush crunching out a most-muscular pose with his masked undoing hovering ominously in the background.

vlcsnap-2014-01-09-09h52m35s222 — Damien’s most muscular grabbed readers most.

Readers also clicked most on my review of the Gazebo Grapplers 17 match pitting jungle boy Lorenzo Lowe against hot jobber Tim Messina. You also seemed to be as infatuated with the pulse pounding 2015 debut of big, bulging, beautiful, blond, blue-eyed beefcake Biff Farrell, clicking directly through to my adoring review of his introduction to the homoerotic wrestling audience in Lon Dumont’s Wrestler Spotlight DVD. Of course, these stats are systematically biased toward older posts (you’ve had less time to rack up clicks on December posts, for example). Which makes me think that my September review of Hunkbash 15, although only the 3rd most viewed blog post of the year, may actually turn out to be the hotttest click over time. And I can certainly understand why. I’ve nearly worn out my DVD of Logan Vaughn’s divine, titanic thighs squeezing every ounce of resistance out of every inch of supplicant-in-training Trey Dixon. There are tastes du jour and then there are exquisite, timeless dishes that we’ll be savoring for years to come, and I have to believe that Trey crushed into sweaty, slack jawed worship at the bare feet of Logan is going to be a keeper.

Neverland readers originate from across the globe. English-speaking United States, the United Kingdom, and Canada are, in order, the top ranking origins of the most readers. Germany comes in fourth place with over 13,000 page views, edging out Australia. France, Japan and Mexico round out the top 8 countries of origin of homoerotic wrestling fans checking out the latest here at neverland.

Click-throughs reveal what I’d expect. I spend most of my time reviewing BG East products, so little wonder that over 14,000 of the click-throughs this year were of readers checking out the source material at BGE. Most of the other click throughs were to brother bloggers like Wrestling Arsenal, Inner Jobber, Beefcakes of Wrestling, and Ringside at Skull Island. I do have love for more than BG East, of course, so I’m glad to see there were over 2,500 click throughs checking out source material at Can-Am, over 2,500 to Cameron Matthews‘ site, and over 1,800 to Muscle Domination Wrestling.

david2 — The moment I get my hands on (a pic of) David Muir shirtless, you will be the first to know!

Those of you using search engines to find your way to these pages typically know what you’re looking for, most of the time using keywords “sidelineland” or “neverland wrestling.” Fascinating me to no end, the next most common search engine keyword earning a click to neverland is “David Muir shirtless.” Google it, and sure enough, neverland is ranked #1. Again, consider my heart strangely warmed by the newsboy love that clearly many of you share with me. Those of you searching for a particular wrestling crush sending you this way were most likely to be seeking out Lane Hartley or Lon Dumont.

gio — Favorite moment #5: Gio plays for our team!

As for my favorite moments of 2015, one of the most fabulous reveals that I celebrated on the pages of this blog was my current top newsboy crush, Gio Benitez, coming out to his adoring public via Instagram photos of sunning his magnificent muscles next to his then-boyfriend Tommy DiDario. When he then documented his Paris marriage proposal via social media, getting down on one knee (Tommy said yes, of course!), a newsboy homoerotic wrestling lover champion tag team was born in my imagination. Every time I see Gio’s gargantuan biceps straining the seams of his suit coats as he reports on GMA, I no longer need to imagine what those hot, bulging muscles look like shirtless, thanks to Gio sharing the wealth and proudly showing off his, and his fiancee’s fabulous muscles in 2015. I’m still waiting for my wedding invitation.

One of those little moments that probably blew right past most readers but tickled my crotch just right this year was a snarky little exchange I had with none other than BG East Boss himself, Kid Leopard back in February. In my relentless pouring over and critiquing the nominees for BG East’s 2014 Bestie Awards, I adamantly announced that Kirk Donahue did not deserve to be in the running for Best Ass. You know what a smart ass I am, so of course I poured it on thick, speculating that the eventual winner of the category ought to bend Kirk over his knee and spank that adorable, yet not outstanding ass until he confesses who he fucked to get the nomination. Well, my smart assedness earned me a firm, slighty chiding message from Kid Leopard, who I assume is nominator in chief, explaining that I was completely off base in my disregard of Kirk’s award worthy butt. Getting a virtual slap on the wrist from the Boss both tickled and aroused me so much that I promptly published a public service announcement clarifying that, with additional persuasive evidence offered by the Boss, Kirk’s ass is totally nominatible. Of course, I was still a smart ass. And I still say Kirk’s ass is sensationally fuckable, but nowhere near deserving of a top 5 ranking in the exceedingly hot field of BG East butts. But anytime Kid Leopard calls me into his office to slap me around a bit, it’s going to be on my list of favorite moments.

character_study_joe_lally_014_1 — Aussie fashion model Jarrod Scott inspired my homoerotic wrestling imagination this year.

My third favorite moment of 2015 was a little self-generated pride and joy I felt in getting my ass back to what really started neverland in the first place: writing homoerotic wrestling fiction. In August I took the flimsy excuse of Details Magazine identifying their top 31 male models, to write up a first round of homoerotic pretty boy wrestling fiction. I have yet to complete the tournament, though Sean O’Pry, John Halls, and Jarrod Scott more than ably earned their way into the semi-finals. What may not have been as apparent on your side of the screen was the pleasure I had in getting back to exercising my homoerotic wrestling imagination. I’ve gotten back to the keyboard several times this fall, and I anticipate 2016 getting me back to the online homoerotic wrestling fiction publishing business again. I’ll keep you updated.

12202024_1728558944044918_825688879_n — Super sexy Drake “Blogger Bait” Marcos, Ty Alexander, and Kayden Keller.

My second most favorite moment in blogging this year was the feast of homoerotic wrestler Halloween costumes I got to enjoy, and share, in early November. Ty Alexander, Kayden Keller and Drake “Don’t-Call-Me-Jobber” Marcos partied hearty on Halloween this year and gifted you and me some hot shots of their sensationally sexy superhero costumes. By way of introducing himself to me, and by extension, you, adorably hot red-headed rookie twink Charlie Evans also sent some shots my way of his Iceman costume for Halloween this year. As soon as homoerotic wrestling studs send me unsolicited (or at least, lightly solicited) photos of themselves roaming the real world, I’m aroused and the moment is indelibly etched onto the list of most memorable moments.

0106_lg — Man-of-my-dreams Scott Williams

My top, very most favorite moment in blogging for 2015 took place in the comments section. Casual readers may not think to check the comments, but you do so at the risk of missing hot gems every so often. Such was the case when I posted one of my long, adoring, full throttle fanboy infatuation pieces on my long-time homoerotic wrestler crush, Scott Williams. Scott shared his appreciation that his fans are still gagging for it, assuring us that he is “still keeping in shape and wrestling privately here in Boston and when I travel…always will love it and will always make you proud on the mats or in the ring!” He signed his comment “Sending bearhugs – Scott Williams.” I have since seen glimpses and snippets of evidence (follow the likes of Ty Alexander on FB, and you’ll see what I mean) that Scott is, indeed, still climbing into the ring, and he remains incredibly, profoundly, astonishingly sexy fit still today. I think it’s a crime against homoerotic wrestling fandom that Scott is keeping his wrestling work out of the publicly consumable sphere these days, and I think you should, at this very moment, send an email to BG East pleading with them to convince this classic hunk to cum out in a new release in 2016. In the meantime, that virtual bearhug from one of my longest running wrestling crushes still keeps me warm at night.

0213_lg — Scott takes full possession of favorite moment #1.

So, 2016. I’m hoping it’s a year for getting back to what has been the most fun for me over the past 6 years. Be it resolved that I will publish homoerotic wrestling fiction in the coming year. Be it also resolved that I will snag some fresh new wrestler interviews, because the lack of interviews in 2015 was, in retrospect, tragic from my perspective. I’ve also been not-so-subtly angling for an opportunity to be your Every-Joe-Fan at an honest-to-the-homoerotic-wrestling-gods taping of a match, and I see no reason why 2016 shouldn’t be the year that that invitation doesn’t show up in my mailbox. Those are a few of my hopes and dreams for the New Year. Hope yours is hot, sweaty, and includes some OTK backbreakers.

Squash Me Just Right

July 22, 2015 wrestlebard6 Comments

Despite my explicit preference for homoerotic wrestling fare with an element of competitive suspense about it, I’ve been finding myself watching, and enjoying, quite a number of one-sided matches lately. The “squash” is a particular subgenre that I can enjoy, but, like I’ve said, I tend to prefer to see more give and take, more narrative suspense. So it’s interesting to find myself sitting in front of a whole lot of lopsided squashes. Sampling more than my typical diet of them, I’ve been reflecting on what almost always does work for me in a squash, what can but doesn’t always work, and what almost never works for me in a squash.

vlcsnap-2015-07-17-09h25m26s285 — Morgan squashes Joey in Back Buster 5.

First, what almost always works for me is seeing a dominant pitcher deeply delighted by the feel of mastering his opponent. This is what I’m talking about when I prattle on about “owning,” when one wrestler doesn’t just beat the other, doesn’t just make him tap out or submit, but takes visceral pleasure in controlling an outmatched contender. Obviously, the absence of this element can make a squash a bore for me. The squash where the dominant stud seems thoroughly dismissive, so out of his opponent’s league that he can barely be bothered to pay attention to the suffering he’s causing, tends to disappoint me. I’ll feast for days off of a viscious, dominant heel who obliterates an opponent in a landslide and convinces me, one way or another, that he could very well need to rub one out soon before or soon after the camera’s are turned off, because he’s just too damned turned on. Frankly, this doesn’t even need to be entirely about sexual tension. I’m less interested in whether the winner wants to fuck his opponent’s ass in victory than I am in whether the experience of conquering, controlling, and possessing an outmatched opponent in and of itself seems capable of giving the winner erotic pleasure. Whether he cums all over the catcher’s face on camera, or just leaves me believing that he needs a little “alone time” in the locker room to pound one out on his own, I’m buying it, if he’s selling it.

0120_lg — Kid Vicious owns opponents just right, every time.

A lot of examples come to mind. Most of Kid Vicious’ catalog falls neatly into this category. If KV doesn’t bust a load all over a lamb-to-the-slaughter opponent, I feel 99% certainty that he took care of it soon afterward. He always looks to me like he’s mentally getting off on destroying an opponent (the prettier, the harder). Kid Karisma taps this consistently as well. His recent Undagear 23 match with reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month Marco Carlow is a perfect example. Kid K looks like he’s eating this squash up with a spoon, and when he rips Marco’s gear off, poses overtop of his fallen prey, and beats a hasty retreat from the mat room, I’m convinced it’s not just a hasty retreat he’s about to beat. Jake Jenkins muscle mauling of it-boy Kip Sorrell in Backyard Brawls 8 is another specific example. I think of JJ as one of the most G-rated wrestlers on the scene, but his laughter, his luxuriating in Kip’s total destruction beneath him leads me to write the off camera script that has JJ needing a moment to himself to celebrate beating the living fuck out of that ridiculously pretty pin-up boy.

0437_lg — Kid Karisma glistens with delight as he crushes Marco’s every luscious muscle.

There are other elements of a squash that can, but don’t always, work for me. A predator who plays with his food, for example, can sometimes turn me on, other times no. I’ve written my appreciation for trash talking taunts in the wrestling ring for ages, but in a squash, withering derision can seem more like dickishness than homoerotic tension. Personally, I find taunts more erotically provocative when the battle is close, when there’s suspense as to whose brash boasts will be born out as true, and who will be humiliated in regrets for winding up his betters with checks he couldn’t cash. In a squash, taunting trash talk and verbal humiliation are tricky for me. Sometimes I’m stoked hotter. Somtimes not. Cathweight squash scenarios also can go either way for me. When the opponents are so clearly, ridiculously mismatched in size, a big-beats-little squash can sometimes work for me in a big way, but at other times leave me a little bored with what turns out to be the forgone conclusion. Competitive catchweight matches or, even, little-beats-big squashes typically float my boat big time, all else considered, but it’s a touchy thing if it’s a big-beats-little squash from the start.

h0312_lg — Guido walks the line muscle bullying baby-babyface Kirk Donahue.

Guido Genatto’s matches teeter back and forth with me around some of these coin toss elements. He won’t relent in physical or emotional abuse until an opponent is a pool of sweat and tears, sometimes just this side of the line for turning me on, sometimes just the other. For the big beats little squash dilemma, big Joe Robbins similarly sometimes comes up heads, sometimes tails.

1425_lg — Big Joe Robbins is a big-beats-little Catch Weight veteran.

Finally, it’s a little hard to put my finger on precisely the element that almost never works for me in a squash. I know it by how I feel, rather than by the specific content of the wrestling. When I’m left genuinely feeling sorry for the loser, when I have this impulse to call the principal’s office and report an incident of homophobic bullying in the halls, then I’m totally not on board. When it’s so one sided and the dominant stud is heaping on misogynistic insults, questioning the battered boy’s masculinity, then it touches a nerve that makes it hard to stay in the mood for. There’s a particular stripe of sadism that’s more sociopathic than homoerotic, that delights in inflicting suffering but seems more likely to end in the winner pissing on the loser than cumming across him. That schtick is not in my wheelhouse (no judgment implied, though if it is in yours).

h1009_lg — Ethan beats Jayden in the first 3 minutes, then just taunts and tortures the pretty kid for 15 more.

My most recent experience with this is the third match in Undagear 23, in which Ethan Axel Andrews fucking brutalizes delicately gorgeous Jayden Mayne. I’m not just saying this because Jayden charmed the pants off me in his interview here late last year, selling the living fuck out of being an earnest, ambitious babyface on the rise (though that, he did). And fuck, Ethan’s turned my crank more times than I can count. But then there’s this crime scene that unfolds in Undagear 23. Ethan mauls Mr. Hollywood in such a way that I’m sort of hoping for someone on the camera crew to break this shit up. I’ve seen Ethan sell me over and over on his erotic delight in owning an opponent, but here, he just strikes me as a bully. He’s just mean, not because he’s getting off on it, or he cares if you’re getting off on it, or he secretely intends on stripping Jayden’s fine, fine ass bare and taking the spoils of victory with a Trojan on. He just comes across as enjoying hurting defenseless creatures, just because he can. Call PETA. There’s a sicko who enjoys torturing puppies!

h1030_lg — Ethan just keeps fucking the kid over.

Now, I’m 100% certain that there are plenty of homoerotic wrestling fans for whom Ethan’s mugging of Jayden is pure gold. Jayden is genuinely outmatched and outclassed from start to finish, and there’s an undeniable beauty in his spoiled masculine innocence. I’m not suggesting that anyone else does or should feel about it the way I do. I’m just musing, in my own little corner of the internet, about this thing that can take me a little by surprise: a homoerotic wrestling match that simply, essentially, fails to push my buttons. Squashes are just like that for me.

Sometimes they turn me on hard.

Sometimes they don’t.

Stand and Deliver

July 14, 2015July 14, 2015 wrestlebardLeave a comment

As I’ve mentioned often in the past, one of my favorite things about summer is seeing hunks showing off their legs. Hot temps require shorts, and finally, after being hidden for months, big, beautiful thighs, and sculpted calves are set free. Someone recently referred to me as a “leg man,” which on the one hand, I don’t think I am, because I also crave big juicy pecs, peaked biceps, roped triceps, crystal cut abs, boulder-like deltoids. I love wide, bulging backs that taper in a V to a muscled ass with a shelf that you could set your martini glass on. Fuck, for that matter, I can get off on strong, sexy hands, beautiful feet, dimpled cheeks, a cleft chin, heavy-lidded bedroom eyes… the list goes on and on. But on the other hand, I have a special joy for summer exposure of powerful, thick, meaty thighs.

0119_lg — Kid Karisma’s massive rugby thighs know what I’m talking about in Gazebo Grapplers 17.

So today, I’m dedicating this post to a hold that invariably turns my crank and feeds my seasonal fetish for the particular allure of sexy legs. I once enjoyed the opportunity a favorite wrestler of mine offered me, to tell him what moves and holds I hoped to see most in his upcoming matches. I had an immediate answer for this stud in particular: standing headscissors. Like almost nothing else, there’s something so erotic about a dominant hunk with powerful thighs crushing an opponent’s head while just standing there. The inherent narrative is delicious. Standing headscissors require one battered stud to not only be kneeling or seated while his opponent punishes him, but the captured wrestler generally has to be pretty blown away already. They require that the pitcher bears down on the skull between his thighs, which, honestly, means he’s a little precariously positioned, not flat on his feet. The catcher could likely upend his tormentor with a little leverage and effort, so luxuriously long held standing headscissors are the stuff of total control. Like a cat playing with his fatally wounded prey, they signal the ascendency of the erect wrestler.

09_lg — Brooklyn Bodywrecker was the master of the standing headscissors.

And speaking of erection, I’m always fantasizing about standing headscissors getting topped off with the controlling wrestler jerking off to the feel of completely owning his opponent. It’s a hands free hold, so sure, flex and preen, trash talk good and long. But what I’d love to see is that standing grappler pounding one out all over the back of the humiliated meatscicle on his knees. Fuck, that would be a skunk in my book, instantly counting for two falls in the column of the cocky thigh master.